lexgivesgayadvice

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Thanks for a great few months, friends! This blog is now closed but will still be hanging out as an archive. It's been wonderful to hear from so many people and offer advice! I wish you all the best in whatever lies ahead for you. Go be awesome! 💚🌈

Love, Lex

[lexgivesgayadvice]

i heard you're deleting. i want to thank you for everything you've done. you've helped a lot of people and your blog was amazing. thank you.

Thank you anon 🥺🥺 I will be leaving the blog up as an archive so I hope that you and anyone else will still be able to get something out of what's been posted! Sending you my best wishes 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

hi!!! i just wanted to thank you for all the advice you give out :) it's so sweet and helpful and your advice helped me a lot and i'm so, so grateful. thank you!! i hope you have a good day/night and wish you all the best with your upcoming school year :D

🥺🥺 thank you so much my friend!!! Best of luck in whatever lies ahead for you! 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Again thank you for everything, you are such a wonderful person and I hope you have a wonderful life

Thank you my friend. I'm so grateful to have gotten to interact with so many wonderful people through this blog and I wish you all the best. 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

How do I tell my best friend I am in love with her? I think she feels the same way, it’s hard to tell sometimes. We are super close and sometimes when we hang out she will hold my hand and cuddle me which is super confusing. I’m not really out and she’s confident with who she is. I don’t want to mess things up with her and our friendship but equally I can’t keep lying to myself either. I’ve never been with a girl so it’s all new to me

Hello my friend! I relate to this SO MUCH lol - I am also in love with my best friend rn and majorly pining. Like, I basically could have written this ask. So let's see if I can give us both some advice. :)

Are you out to her? If not, now might be a good time! You can get a sense of her reaction and go from there. Ultimately, though, it's about what you're willing to risk. Have your romantic feelings overtaken your platonic ones in such a way that you don't feel you can continue your friendship as it has been? If so, that could be a good reason to tell her how you feel. How do you think she'll react? If she doesn't reciprocate your romantic feelings, will you both be able to put it behind you? Cuddling and hand holding can be pretty good indicators, especially if you're out to her, so I agree with you that she could be sending some vibes, but not being there it's hard for me to say for certain. :)

Let me explain my personal thoughts since I'm in the same situation as you. I don't see myself confessing my feelings to my friend anytime soon for a couple reasons. First, our platonic relationship still takes priority for me. I cannot imagine losing the intimacy we have as friends and it's not a risk I'm willing to take right now. Second, I think that if my friend doesn't reciprocate, it would make her anxious about how to act around me, and like I said, I think it would get in the way of our very close friendship, which means the world to me.

How much of what I said resonated with you? Do my reasons ring true, or do you feel differently about your particular situation and relationship? That's why I shared my current experience - not because I'm telling you that you should feel the same. Not at all! If you read my explanation and thought, "No, that's not how I feel about it," then that's important information.

If you've reached the point where you're sure you want to tell her, that's great! Make sure you find a time when you're both in a good mental space to process whatever happens (feelings are complicated regardless of how happy or sad they are) and go for it! Who knows, maybe she's thought you were dating this whole time? (Cue oblivious wlw trope, which always makes me giggle)

Good luck, my friend! I hope that whatever you do next, you and your friend have a long and lovely relationship of whatever variety works for you! 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Hey all!!! I know I said I was gonna close asks today but it's been chill and I'm all caught up so I think I'm okay to leave them open until Wednesday, so keep it coming for a few more days! Thanks for all your questions and support!

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Hello again! I had an ask earlier about me crushing on my guy friend. I have some up dates! For one I found out that he also has liked me for a long time :D Also, in my previous ask I said I was only attracted to guys once in a blue moon… what I didn’t know was that last night was the blue moon (it was even on his birthday)! I’m just really happy right now. Thank you so much for your advice, it helped me so much! I hope you have an amazing school year :)

Omg wow that's the coolest thing ever!!! Who knew "once in a blue moon" could be so literal 😂

I wish you the best with your guy and with getting the respect you deserve from your mom!!! Good luck 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Do you know any other Lgbt advice blog's, just incase anyone needs help with Lgbt things?

Hey anon! Tbh I don't know any others off the top of my head but I hope other people might know some! I'd love to be able to share/promote my fellow advice friends before I leave!

[lexgivesgayadvice]

[lexgivesgayadvice]

I want to thank you again for everything that you have done and for all the help that you bring to those that needed it, even tho is sad that you are gonna go, its still good because you are doing it for your own health, so again, thank you very much, and I hope you have a wonderful life ( i mean life because i don't want you to have just a wonderful day) thank you for everything

Anon this is so kind 🥺🥺🥺 it truly means so so much to me that I have been able to help you and others. I hope that you have the best day, week, month, year, and life - go rock the world by being your most beautiful and authentic self 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Hi, I'm a bi-curious college freshman who has a gay roommate. We've only known each other for two days but I feel that we get along really well and have made fast friends. I've been reckoning with my potential bisexuality for years now and most of my bi fantasies have been about skinny 'twinks', for lack of a better term - and wouldn't you know it, he fits perfectly within that archetype.

Ever since I learned I was bi, I've wanted to try oral sex on a penis owner, and I feel that this would be a really good time to finally try it.

He has no idea that I'm anything but 100% straight, and has never expressed any attraction towards me sexually.

I'm not even looking for a romantic relationship, I just really want to give this man a blow job. Please let me know how I could go about this without potentially ruining our friendship.

CW: genitals, sex

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Hey anon!!! I totally support and love that you're embracing your burgeoning bisexuality and feeling ready to try some things! That's such a great place to be in where you feel free to experiment and live your best life, and I hope you find a great penis owner who's down to hook up. I have to caution you, though, that I'm not sure your roommate (particularly your roommate you've only known for two days) is the best person to make a move on. On the one hand, you get along well and are conveniently located, which is cool. But consider the possible repercussions. Scenario 1: you say hey, want a blowjob? (perhaps with more finesse), he says sure, you do some stuff, you move on and it lives only in the past. That could be a vibe. But then what if one of you catches feelings? That's a pretty awkward roommate dynamic. What if he thinks you're cool but isn't down for sexy time? I'd imagine that could create some awkwardness if he's now worried about you being attracted to him. I just feel like a lot of things could go wrong here, and you should definitely at least wait until you know him better and get more of a vibe going to figure out if you're both into a one-off (or more, I suppose) roommate hookup.

Based on your ask, I'm getting the impression that it's more the situation than the guy. I could be totally off base here, but the vibe I'm picking up is that this is something you've been wanting to do and he has shown up as a compatible and attractive candidate. That's chill and fine, but check yourself and think this through: is it about this guy? Or would you be just as happy to get your blowjob experience on someone who you don't have to share a room with for an entire school year? If it's the latter, then I'm sure it would not be hard to find a casual hookup with someone cute! If it's the former, I still say hold off at least until some time has passed. I'm inferring (could be totally incorrect here so ignore if I am) that maybe you're a college freshman who just moved in, hence the stranger as a roommate. The first few weeks of freshman year are kinda chaotic. I had a fully established friend group within two days that then suddenly imploded a couple weeks later. Take your time, make yourself at home, then think about if you really want to make a move on the person who lives six feet away from you.

Sorry that wasn't more upbeat but I hope it was helpful! I'm admittedly not at all well versed in hookup culture (no shame on hookups, just me being asexual and oblivious) so maybe I don't get all the nuances here, but I think your best move is not gonna be getting with your roommate. Try and widen your gaze a little bit bc otherwise you could be in for a very awkward year lol. Good luck! 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Hope you have a wonderful day

Thanks anon, you too 🥺💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

I'm the anon with a baby cousin, im with Victoria, I touched her hand and her feet, shes pretty cute, Im "playing" with her and just making company

Hello anon!!! Eeeeeee I bet she is the cutest baby ever! You're going to be such a good cousin and role model for her 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

hi! this is my first ask and i'm not sure how this works, sorry for any formatting errors ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. well, for starters, i'm the "token straight" of my friend group (im a cishet guy). i always go to pride with them, and i'm constantly being asked "are you SURE you're not gay?" yeah, i'm just an ally who's very supportive of his friends.. or so i thought.

so, yesterday i was buying groceries and i ran into this new guy who works there, and i just???? couldn't stop thinking about it??? i really wanted to go talk to him, but I chickened out and lost my chance. he was cute. very. and his hair looked so soft and he was wearing black nail polish and i think i just had my first guy crush????? i feel like im 14 again😭

i'm pretty sure i'm attracted to girls, but i definitely am attracted to him too. so maybe i'm bi?? i dont even know how to flirt with guys, what do i do???

Hey anon!!!! What would you do if you saw a cute girl who made you feel this way? Would you ask for her number, flirt a little, try to become friends? That's what you should do! Only you can decide if you want to call yourself bi (or pan, or queer, or anything else), but just let yourself feel things and enjoy the new-crush rush! If you end up chatting with him and the vibes are increasing/you go out with him or whatever, but you're nervous bc you've always thought you were straight, I also think it would be reasonable to tell him where you're at and that you still have some things to figure out. But one step at a time! Honestly, I also don't know how to flirt with guys (or girls, which is more concerning for me personally), but I feel like talking to them is always a solid starting point lol. Maybe compliment his nail polish! And then just do what you would do if you were trying to flirt with a person of any gender. Worst case scenario, you get rejected and you avoid his grocery line. But just relax and have fun with your first guy crush!

Good luck anon!!! 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

I’m 16 and have only ever been attracted to girls and non-binary people. When I came out as lesbian recently (6ish months ago), my mom had a really hard time accepting me. My mom just got to a place where she somewhat respects my sexuality… but now I like one of my super close guy friends. What if this undoes all the progress with my mom (she always told me my sexuality was “just a phase” and thought I was lying to secretly date guys)?! I definitely still like girls and enbies, maybe I’m also demi-heterosexual? I’m still more identifying as a lesbian because attraction to men happens once in a blue moon. I’m just really confused :(

Any advice or sexuality labels will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

Hello friend!!! Honestly, until/unless you find yourself moving into romantic territory with this guy, I feel like it's totally valid not to tell your mom. You don't have to come out again as bi or pan or whatever. You don't even have to know if that's what you are. Take a deep breath, it's okay!

Allow me to introduce one of my favorite labels: sapphic. I still use this, but it was my primary label when I was existing in the gray area between bi and lesbian. It just means that you're a woman/female-aligned person who likes other women/female-aligned people! It doesn't mean ~exclusively~ wlw, so it applies to bi/pan/etc wlw as well as lesbians. Obviously if you don't vibe with it then don't use it, but maybe you could start working it into your vocabulary if you feel like moving away from "lesbian" is the move but you're not sure what you want to call yourself. It gives off the energy of "I like girls" but doesn't exclude your occasional attraction to men! I used to refer to myself as "sapphic bi" to indicate that I was bi but strongly leaned towards women. This was more for me than for anyone else, and remember that that's what labels should be! If you're struggling with how to refer to yourself around your mom, go broad with terms like gay, queer, or sapphic, depending on the situation. Hopefully this can help you buy the time and space you need to figure out what, if anything, you want to call yourself in the future.

I hope that's helpful! If/when it comes to a point where you need to tell your mom you like a guy, be very clear that you still like other genders as well, and it’s really really important to you that she respect that. Good luck! 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

Ok, just a fun story, My aunt had a baby and her name is Victoria and on the day or the day after Victoria was born some family members went to the hospital to see the baby, see how was my aunt and and things like that, the thing is that almost everyone could and can carry Victoria, I say almost because I can't, I have seen Victoria like 7 or 6 times and I just can't, also almost everytime that I see her, I cry, sorry if I mispelled something, hope you have a wonderful day

eeeeeee I love tiny humans!!! Thanks for sharing, I hope that you get to hold Victoria and bond with her as she grows up 🥺🥺 congrats to your aunt and your family!!!! Have a lovely day 💚🌈

[lexgivesgayadvice]

hello hello, ive been questioning my gender and sexuality for the past week now, and I thought I was comfy with the labels demigirl and lesbian but I am very much not okay with just those labels, I feel like my gender changes alot, and so does my sexuality, like I like boys girls and enbys but sometimes it's like different everyday, like one day I'm only into woman, or men, or just nonbinary people, and as for gender it is a constant battle with trying to decide of I'm a girl or a boy but I'm thinking I may be a abrosexual genderfluid person, any advice?

Hey anon!!! If abrosexual and genderfluid feel good to you, then congratulations! Your own comfort is all you need when it comes to labels. It's awesome that you've figured these things out about yourself, and I'm really proud of you!

In the event that these labels start feeling not-quite-right, remember that there's no deadline, no rush, and no requirement to find one or two words and stick with them forever. You can choose to label yourself more broadly (e.g. queer, genderqueer) or not label yourself at all if that's what works for you. Just describe yourself in a way that feels comfortable to YOU, not what anyone else thinks you should be.

I hope that helps! Again, congrats on figuring some things out and good luck on your journey of self-discovery 💚🌈