lewislvr - Tumblr blog

[lewislvr]

SEROTONIN CONFESSIONS ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

pairing: Carlos Sainz x y/n

summary: after Carlos’s maiden win, he finally built up the courage to confess his feelings

warning: english isn't my first language (grammar, vocabulary or text issues might appear) | fluff

"You're falling hard, I push away, I'm feelin' hot to the touch

You say you miss me and I wanna say I miss you so much

But something keeps me really quiet, I'm alive, I'm a lush

Your love, your love, my love"

It wasn't only fear, but more adrenaline pumping through my veins as the cars brushed past us for the 45 time by now. Carlos who had started in pole position had to put up a hard fight with Perez, who was always on hot on his heels.  As I was Carlos's assistant I was watching the race from the side of the track cheering with the Ferrari fans who kept on shouting the same.

"Forza Ferrari"

It was slowly beginning to echo through my head, almost like the constant repetition burned it onto my mind.

The first red car shot over the finish line and through the radio of his engineer, I heard his shaky voice.

"WE MADE IT",  a deep sob escaped Carlos's throat.

The maiden win of the Spaniard caused the crowd to break their contentment free. From behind I got pulled into the group hug, that had formed only seconds ago.

From the car, his shaking figure rose standing tall on it.

Carlos's helmet was quickly found on the floor as he ran over to the team in red.

He took a last step before he got engulfed by his team, support, and fans.

"Thank you, everyone", Carlos smile was wide and his eyes glossy, as we all took a step back.

Before I would leave to organize the upcoming festivities for the winner, I decided to congratulate him personally again.

"Good job, Carlos", Rarely I called him by his first name, as our relationship was purely professional. The Spaniard seemed to notice the informal way I used it. It became evident when his already cherry-red cheeks darkened.

Instead of thanking me, I was caught off guard by him pulling me into a hug.

The first thing I seemed to notice was the smell of gasoline and burned rubber that almost drowned out the usual smell of aftershave and perfume.

"Thank you for your support", I felt his plump lips ghosting over the shell of my ear and his breath trickling across my neck.

My head only nodded softly, as I swallowed hard.

Quickly I hurried to my small office-like space shutting the door and gliding down on it with my back.

Even after taking deep breaths, my cheeks were still hot and my heart was continuously pounding at a rapid pace.

Something changed after the race. Unsure whether it was the way he whispered into my ear or how his eyes softened when I showed my appreciation for his win, I knew something was off. It was like a switch was flicked when the serotonin overtook his senses.

Desperately I tried to calm my ragged breath, sweaty fingers circling my temples.

I tried to hide it for months, the way my heart fluttered in his presence, my hands got shaky at every touch and the undeniable jealousy seeing Carlos around the company that would come and go once in a while.

Knowing the podium celebrations would start I hurried outside. In the cold air of England, it was a special occasion to enjoy the generous amount of sun that was beaming onto my face.

With my hand shielding my eyes from the sun, I looked up at the 3 men that were all standing proud on the podium.

Carlos's hair was still a sweat-drenched mess that made him look astonishing in the yellow sunlight.

A sly smirk laced his lips as he discovered me in the crowd. It could be the distance between us that made me believe that the Spaniard even shot me a small wink.

Quitley, I heard the spanish anthem play, before Carlos held up the heavy golden throphy, that was rewarded to the winner of the Silverstone Grand Prix.

Whilst my stomach began to fill with butterflies I walked back into the building. The distance gave me the chance to think about whatever had changed in his simple actions, that made my head spin.

"Why did you leave so early?", the hallway echoed with his silky voice bouncing off the walls.

I turned arund to see him drenched in champagne and his racing suit hanging loosely around his hips. Carlos's biceps twitched as he leaned against the wall crossing his arms over his chest, observing the way my mouth twitched.

"I could ask you why you are in here instead of giving interviews and celebrating?", I teased, avoiding answering his question or even looking into his eyes.

"I told them I need to get cleaned up first. But what about my question?"

Indistinctly a few words brushed past my lips, which only seemed to make the Spaniard more invested in my sudden disappearance.

"I was-" suddenly I was empty-headed "-packing up.", internally I slapped myself for the dumb excuse I had just made up.

A smile danced over his lips, as he shook his head knowingly.

"If you don't tell me, then I have something to tell.", Carlos's eyes were glistening in the artificial light.

"I love you. Since you walked into the paddock with your hair put up, in that gorgeous dress I adored you and I remember falling for you when I saw you at that sponsorship event in the red dress you were wearing, looking as beautiful as ever. Your bright eyes shining and your hair flowing down your shoulders. I needed time to understand, but I needed to tell you now, today.", There wasn't a hint of anxiety or fear displayed on his face. Carlos presented his confession with confidence. The confidence I was drawn to since day one.

"I understand if you need time or want to quit-", Whilst salty tears left my eyes, Carlos gave me an apologetic look.

"No, Carlos. I love you too.", With a smile on my lips I ran over to him swinging my arms around his neck. Champagne was sticking to my face and blouse, as well as his fireproofs and hair, attaching us. He lifted me off the ground hands around my waist, as my hands cupped his rosy cheeks and I smashed our lips together.

A kiss that tasted like champagne, tears, and maybe even pain, thinking about my future in F1.

"I love you so much."