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hard to believe there are actually people out there who think that big noses are ugly and unattractive … like what the fuck is wrong with you ?

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How to Respond to Criticism

Stop doing everything. Don’t say anything or be anything. Get as small as you possibly can without disappearing. Don’t exist. Or keep existing, but differently than before.

Remember: criticism is the same thing as wholesale condemnation and also murder, so react accordingly.

Apologize, but don’t really mean it, and plant a seed of secret resentment so deep in your own heart that years later you can’t even remember that you’re the one who nurtured it and made it grow, it seems that much like a native part of you.

Sink into a hole so deep that no one can ever find you.

No. No. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO. NO.

JUST DIE. JUST GET SICK AND DIE AND THEN YOU’LL FEEL TERRIBLE YOU EVER SAID THOSE THINGS BECAUSE I’LL BE DEAD AND YOU’LL BE SO SO SO SORRY AND YOU’LL WISH YOU COULD BRING ME BACK BUT YOU CAN’T.

Give up on all of your goals immediately.

Tell everyone you know about the criticism, but in a way that makes it clear that you expect them to publicly find it ridiculous and assure you there’s not a shred of truth to it. Do this repeatedly, first while sober, then later after several glasses of wine on a Wednesday afternoon when no one else is really drinking except for you. “Can you believe it?” Ask them that repeatedly. “Can you believe that? About me?” Ask until no one will meet your eyes.

Remember that life is a rich tapestry.

Become so rich and strong and tall that you’re a giant made out of gold and nobody can hurt you and everything you do is perfect and you can use your laser diamond eyes to melt the lungs of your enemies.

Dwell on it.

You can either be perfect or the biggest piece of shit who ever existed but not both, so if the criticism is right, you are the biggest piece of shit who ever existed. If it is not right, you are perfect and everyone else is wrong.

Fall in love with whoever criticized you. Don’t walk away until you’ve ruined their marriage.

Whisper their criticism every night to yourself until you have it memorized, word for word. Remember it forever. Have the words stitched into the shroud that covers your body before you’re lowered into the tomb so you and your criticism can embrace one another for eternity.

Do not rise above it. Never rise above anything. The sky is no place for a human.

Be sure not to separate the tone of the criticism from the content. If it was said ungracefully, it cannot be true. If it was said reasonably, it cannot be false.

Send an email explaining why you don’t deserve to be criticized, then another six emails after that, each one explaining the last, like a set of Russian nesting dolls that don’t think it’s your fault.

Set fire to something that was once beautiful.

Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.

Remember that there are only two kinds of people in the world: fans and haters. No true fan would ever express a criticism of you or your work; conversely no hater could ever seek to engage in a good-faith debate about something you said or did they disagree with. Dismiss everything everyone has to say about you.

Move away.

If it’s a close friend, say “Thank you for being so honest with me,” and then never talk to them again.

Do something with your feelings right away. It doesn’t matter what. Lash out, make a sculpture, whatever.

Log into YouTube and call someone “living Hitler” and “a waste of skin” until you feel better about yourself.

Remember, if someone doesn’t like your work, that means they don’t like you, and they wish that you had never been born, so just lay down in the road and die.

Mallory Ortberg, The Toast

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i think a lot of liberals need to confront the fact that they don’t actually believe everyone should have basic human rights. a homeless person could call me every slur under the sun and i would still want them to have housing, food, etc. the belief that everyone is entitled to basic human rights should not hinge on whether you “like” someone or not. at that point the entire ideology crumbles.

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I am somehow getting reverse somno-ed. My bf is touching and squeezing my thigh in his sleep

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Lets create a house where yelling means we’re having fun. When you hear a door slam you know it was accidentally pulled with too much strength, not slammed out of anger. When there is silence, it is Contentment, not another passive aggressive fight. The dog is no longer barking to protect, he simply just wants the cats to play with him. Let’s create a safe, warm environment that makes you feel like you can breathe, not hold your breath. Let’s stomp on the eggshells we use to tip toe on. Together we will make this house into a home. And welcome all with open arms into this kind and loving space.

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Do yall ever think about how hot bruising is sometimes? The dull ache in the creases of your hips that stand as a reminder for how your owner digs there fingers into you like a little fuck toy? The painful strained muscles in your neck and shoulders from your dom holding you in place or punishing you like you deserve? It's even better when you can see them all red and dark.. especially in visible areas. I need everyone to see what happened to me last night ^_^

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mean mean dom holding the vibrator at just the right spot that it overstimulates me even on the lowest setting and holding the tip of their cock right against my hole refusing to let it enter me even as i try my hardest to move my hips into place

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Just saw a clear chastity belt for the first time and am now obsessed with the idea of edging someone brainless, locking them in it and making them pantomime masturbating for my amusement. Their needy pussy being in clear view but so far away makes it so much hotter and crueler.

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The former gifted smart girl to dumb whore who posts pics of her tits online pipeline is so real

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Hey yeah if I don't have a sweaty lesbian shoving my face in their bush soon I will perish. Like. I'll simply die if I'm not buried between the thighs of mean hairy dyke asap

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i just want a gamer bf so i can cockwarm him while he plays <3

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Anti-colonial, anti-Thanksgiving graffiti seen around Rochester NY

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The ABCs to NSFW tumblr:

Age in bio/ pinned post or blocked.

Be respectful to sex workers and content creators.

Comments go in the tags

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keep thinking about how good it would feel to straddle a sweet shy overwhelmable girl so i could play with her mouth until her brain overheats. just letting her whimper and shudder and paw uselessly at my hips while i have fun overloading her nerves, fingers in her mouth and teeth on her sensitive neck, working her up until her consciousness lags out and she can't remember how to do anything other than let me make her feel good

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every tight knit friend group got the: - always at 1HP - never has inventory space - refuses to wear armour

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next time a cishet man talks about how he feels oppressed or like ppl are saying he's evil, explain the trans-to-prison pipeline and v-coding to him.

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Lyumos cosplay