lewd-worlds-and-centuries - Tumblr blog

lewd-worlds-and-centuries · 6 years ago

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Since written erotica is allowed...

One day on Tumblr

The offices of the Tumblr staff could be recognized by anyone passing by with only a few key sensations. Loud furious moaning was the first thing to be detected followed by the incomprehensible concoction of shit and semen that would immediately assault one’s nose if they dared venture any closer. For anyone with an iron gut, they would then have the displeasure of seeing hoards of sweaty naked deformed beings piled on top of each other, all encircling a single computer monitor, and furiously spanking it to the images on screen. Some would grasp their own wangs, others would grasp a partner’s. The man and women furiously beating their meat were transfixed by the images that would constantly cycle by.

This abhorrent display of human anatomy could loosely be described as resembling a tube. Everyone tried to ensure their heads faced the screen, but by their primal law, they must all encircle their CEO, Jeff D’Onofrio, to allow him standing access to the images. He was the string that held it all together; literally as his penis coiled and weaved around the orgy to keep them all firmly ensnared in their endless pleasure fest. It would poke out occasionally and violently enter whatever opening it could find and thrust itself in and out until releasing sticky gallons that further cemented the crowd together.

On that very screen was the feed that users have been reporting for so long. Most were otherwise tame images of simple pornography with the problem being that they were uploaded by various bots dedicated to attempting to link people to shady sites rather than by actual flesh and blood users. Other images weren’t even porn related but instead the myriad of complaints about the shoplifting community bragging about their various thefts and the encouragement for others to partake in such criminal activity.

What truly caused moans and cum-cement cracking squirming were the less common forbidden images of children in the most vile depictions of them possible by people who morally could not be described as human to anyone with a shred of a sense of decency. Every time a valiant but disgusted user attempted reporting such horrors to the staff, they would rhythmically climax and shower the single room they partook in with thick globs of man gravy. "That one doesn't even look like her baby teeth fell out yet." Jeff moaned. "I want to..." His words would frequently be paused by heavy breathing. His mind focused more on smearing his dick on the the faces of the pile than coherently explaining anything. "I want to shove my winky in it." "Oh! Oh! Sweet lolis!" One lower rung member cried only to be slapped by Jeff for interrupting his fapping session. "I won't tolerate....no talking during fapping!" His penis flailed around wildly in rage, risking even the monitor in front of them. He had to calm down quickly and did so by correcting the issue by means of shoving his blasphemous appendage into the maw of that employee and letting it resume its freedom out her anus. When no more human speech was herd and he wiped the fecal matter and blood off his dick with another employee's face, he resumed his merry pleasure along with the rest of the pile. A photo of the Holocaust had just appeared from one of the many nazi blogs that had been reported. They climaxed simultaneously at the barely living display of skin and bone children being marched to their doom. Those moments are the entirety of their purpose in the world. They've scorned the idea of stepping out into the sun and embracing common humanity for the pleasure of jerking it to adolescent humans. Their site has not quite reached a level of rot and ruin that would garner any real concern from them, but they have become so addicted to the images that the inkling of an idea in their mind to try and expand upon the amount of people on it so the rate of reports would increase was becoming increasingly appealing. Yet nothing short of something extraordinary could compel them to actually work on their website.

On that day, an undoubtably important guest was about to do a quick meet and greet at their offices. With extreme luck and divine intervention, the President of the United States himself, Donald J Trump, was going to arrive and interview them about setting up an account since Mueller was using his twitter as evidence against him.

To the collection of tangerines in a human skin suit, the reasoning was that if he posted on a different social media platform, they wouldn’t be able to hold him accountable for what he said. There’s already been plenty of Russian bots on Tumblr so he would at least feel right at home with the praise he’d be getting for his posts.

Trump was never known as a man who could take subtle hints nor was he one who could comprehend glaringly obvious signs. The moans and smells didn’t deter him one bit during his journey to the office by means of golf cart. Instead he only mumbled about how crooked the investigation was and that he was innocent of all wrong doings and that Putin “totally thinks I’m cooler than that sand nigger.”

When he entered into the offices, he was aghast! The sight disgusted him so much that unconsciously, he took a few small steps forward and upchucked the 69 chicken nuggets he ate that last hour for third lunch all over the backs and faces and sexual organs of the staff so unfortunate to be facing him that moment.

“This is the worst trade deal in history,” He bellowed, “And I know trade deals. I’m the best at them. People ask me how I know so much, but the secret is, you gotta be smart. I’m smart. My IQ is high. Sorry if you losers don’t have a high IQ. Manic Mueller doesn’t have one. Sad. Low IQ Mueller is trying to get me with his crooked investiga-shin from the deep state. But I’m high IQ. My dad knew it. He never hugged me but he knew it. Crooked Hillary knew it. That’s why I won, high IQ. Rigged system against me but I won…”

For at least three hours he rambled before finally realizing that the crowd wasn’t as large as he would have liked and wanted to wander around to see who was in charge. The moment he saw the screen, he would have jumped back if his body fat would allow both feet to leave a solid surface at once.

By happenstance, on that screen was an exploited blonde child that the President seemed to sort of recognize. “She looks just like Ivanka!” He explained, waddling forward and grabbing onto the monitor much to the dismay of the moaning crowd in the back. “I got to see more of this…but there’s nowhere to sit.”

Indeed there was not a single chair in sight. Why have any seats when a sweaty cum coated pile would eventually harden into a solid form to view forbidden images with? But Trump had a rare moment of thought and realized that if he managed to climb his way to the top, he would not only have a seat, but he would be the highest person in the room which appealed greatly to his ego.

The only problem was that the pile was so dirty and would ruin his suit. He did what any man would do in such a situation and stripped down everything but his tie.

By this point, the secret service members had died due to the overwhelming stench that still did not seem to bother the commander in chief in the slightest. Only the extreme dichotomy between slippery surfaces that made it difficult to climb and crusty sensations that made him reel his micro-hands back and nearly lose balance irritated him that moment.

That journey was not all bad. Occasionally his penis would swing close to one of the staff member’s faces and they would lick it or even suck the mushroom tip like a lollypop for as long as it remained in reach of their lips. The pleasing sensations caused the president to urinate a bit and provided that staff member the first drink they’ve had in a long while.

After hours of extreme exercise, the ball of flab had managed to reach the summit. Right in the center was the head of the CEO Jeff D’Onofrio who was looking straight upward rather than at the screen in order to see his potential business partner’s face. His movements were too slow to account for the following plop down Trump made of his massive ass right on his face and once it was firmly in position, his neck could no longer reel his head forward. Even worse, his nose was firmly lodged in the President’s anus like a screw in a hole.

At first Trump thought he would have a king’s view of the monitor, but he was displayed to find that there was still work to be done. It wasn’t high enough to reach his face which in turn required him to lean down to get a better picture. His gut made it difficult to stroke himself and if he bent too far forward, foul emissions would leave his rectum and flood the open maw and nasals of the unfortunate CEO beneath him. The rest of his ass fat sagged downwards and enclosed the CEO's head to the point where the only traces of him were his shoulders poking out. It was a true human centipede moment and whatever protests he had on account of not seeing bot spam, they were muffled by Donald's cheeks. "Let me see!" He would try to say.

More and more the images cycled through. As long as they weren’t black people, Donald could feel his meat get harder. It was even harder than when he first gave Ivanka a bath. Not even Stormy Daniels’ pussy could match the arousal inducing imagery flashing before him.

But then another black guy appeared on screen and it reminded him of Obama. “That goddamn nigger!” he shouted, instinctively clutching his penis harder and accidentally causing a reaction within his body that expelled a sloshy wave of diarrhea. D’Onofrio’s face was coated and enough pooled up in his mouth and dripped below to form the shallowest of puddles. Some of the lower staff members instinctively lapped it up with the understanding that if it dries, they might not get anything else to drink for a long while. The CEO’s penis visits only so often after all. Once again D'Onofro tried to protest. He spat out the liquid shit into the face and backs of the lower pile but was prevented when Trump sat completely back down and temporarily plugged his mouth with wrinkly ass fat. The man's anus was positioned directly over the opening and due to a lapse in judgement, the CEO discovered it tasted horrid when he accidentally placed his tongue on it. That little stimulus caused Donald to fart.

Another image that caused such dismay was someone reporting nazi content. "There's good people on both sides!" He screamed as more shit violently left his anus, this time chunkier than before, and lodged itself into the CEO’s throat. As a result, the rest would pool up and drip down like before but in far larger quantities. A grown man’s foot could sink comfortably into the dark brown pool below.

Due to the heat of the inside and the shit, some began evaporating as a mist and rising upward. Donald in turn became sweaty from the shit vapor and could feel himself sliding around on the man below. It would cause the dry cum to liquidate slightly as if the effects of glue had been reversed but not returned to the bottle. From the outside, it would look like jello.

Not noticing it at all, the President continued to violently stroke himself and take massive dumps whenever a displeasing image violated his eyes. That pool grew so high so quickly, that it leaked over the sides like a child’s volcano science fair project, and yet he still continued on. In a twist of fate, the only reason the CEO was still alive despite his oral cavity being clogged so severely was because he could draw in faint air from Trump’s colon whenever the President’s anus sat just right over his honker. The shit pool should have dried quickly, but frequently staff members whose asses were submerged within it would fart hard to prevent it from further seeping into their anuses and journeying through their digestive systems on the road to tricking out their mouths. Such actions caused it all to bubble and a few that popped sent splatters of fecal matter into unfortunate eyes that could only squint in retaliation. Some staff members were especially turned off by the smell and tried to counter it with their own shit. Since they had a steady supply of semen rather than big macs, their feces came out white and stringy. It could rise to the top and solidify in a web pattern that looked as if Spider-Man himself had produced it. Most of them secretly enjoyed the new sensations. Trump wasn't paying attention to the moaning that echoed through the room nor did he realize how much semen was truly being mixed in with his own shit, but surrounding buildings were evacuated due to the sound alone. Children cried when they accidentally caught a whiff and their wails pierced through the aether and into the ears of the staff members who cummed harder and more frequently as a result. For those who felt especially secure in their positioning due to their boss' Weiner, they gyrated their hips to whir their penises around inside the pool with the idea that if it can hit enough semi-solid chunks within, it will feel like being inside a real vagina and they'll cum super extra hard. Alas their efforts were futile as eventually the shit caught up with the farting and ejaculating and began drying at an even faster pace. Even the shit that seeped into the orifices dried and cemented the staff members to the pile even more. An X-Ray of such cases would show every hollow tube be it intestines or arteries completely clogged by solid shit.

Eventually Trump grew board and hopped off, lamenting that the deal was never done and “Daddy Vladdy” would have given him the whole website by that point. He left the room and turned off the lights behind him, leaving the staff alone in the dark and illuminated only by flashes of pornography. Some cried and others were so aroused that their dicks grew erect and subsequently broke when it fought too hard against the pressure from the bodies on top.

For Jeff D’Onofrio, he saw an opportunity. Having gazed deep into the asshole of Donald Trump and seeing the asshole gaze back, an idea formed that he knew would give his website an even wider reach and lead to even more people reporting horrid things for them to please themselves over. Gargling on dry crusty shit in a brown and white web cement cylinder, he tried to proclaim “We’re putting our website on the Apple store!”

And the rest is history.

Dedicated to the brilliant minds of @staff and their unending dedication to making this website a better place for everyone.

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lewd-worlds-and-centuries · 6 years ago

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The amount of people who will download your shitty app on the Apple store doesn’t even begin to match the amount of people with NSFW blogs or even just the occasional NSFW content that would be turned off from using your website.

The only way this website will be a safe place for everyone is if it’s a barren wasteland with no one in it. That’s what it’s going to look like when you kill off one of the biggest draws for the site Your bot has already flagged my content as inappropriate. It presumably flagged everyone else’s. Take a good look at just how much content was flagged. How many people are going to lose their blogs and how many people aren’t going to return just so you can get some of those sweet sweet itunes downloads.

And double fuck you for hiding behind child porn as an excuse to pull this shit. Actual goddamn children are being victimized and you want to sit high and mighty and delete drawings and photos of consenting adults while pointing to those kids as a reason to do. Absolutely fuck you.

humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community

Except for this major part of the human experience.

we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups

There’s literally an option to flag your own posts as NSFW, something I’ve consistently done. You’ve already added that feature, you incapable twit. Policing everyone else because “What about the children!?” has literally never been a viable option for anything but things made with children exclusively in mind.

In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Removing a huge portion of your website isn’t going to draw more people in. The conservative christian crowd who hates porn isn’t going to join because of all the homosexual pandering this site does. Soccer moms aren’t going to join because they already have Facebook. Anyone previously turned off from Tumblr isn’t going to join because their problems were for things that had nothing to do with porn.

If this website crashes and burns, I’m going to laugh. Here’s one last fuck you before this blog kicks the bucket.

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO

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