letters-to-forever

[letters-to-forever]

I hate everything about loving you with such a passion

[letters-to-forever]

I've begged so many people to stay in my life that it's the embarrassment that deteriorates my self worth in my own eyes. I've spent endless hours forgiving people who deserved nothing but agonizing guilt for their actions, the decision to not hold onto my resentment gave me all the reasons to hate myself every day. The way I know running away will change nothing but ruin me mentally.

God, my heart is breaking this time, and I don't have anyone who'll take me seriously, or correctly put, I am not prioritized and loved enough to be wanted and taken care of. Which for the most part sits fine with me, but you know that I'd do anything in my power to heal your heart, why can't u call me up and talk to me?

Is it too selfish of me to have expectations of being cared for? Or is it hard to love me

You tell me that I'm perfect, yet criticize me when I'm me, you tell me you love me, but you can't make me feel loved, and your hugs make me feel like stone. You cry for the time I will leave but take no moment to make me replaceable. You hurt me only to cry in my arms, how do you sleep at night?

[letters-to-forever]

"Atleast I'm not writing poems for a man who'll never love me back."

And friends this is how you shatter my heart

[letters-to-forever]

No one sees me as I am.

My best friend trades me for anyone in a heartbeat.

My lover shows me flowers meant for someone else.

Love feels like a game I wasn’t meant to play.

I exist, but never quite enough.

[letters-to-forever]

Sitting with family and crying over the fact you unintentionally made the closest person to your heart feel bad was not on my 2024 bingo.

I couldn't even explain it to them, bro. But eating that San Sébastien cheesecake while crying was a highlight 😎🙏

[letters-to-forever]

How do i tell you that i miss u even at my happiest places?

[letters-to-forever]

I love this man so deeply it’s almost overwhelming. It feels like the more I think about him, the deeper I fall, like I've learned to exist in this constant state of longing. I’m alive, but every moment is filled with missing him, and somehow, I’ve come to accept it. My desire for him is indescribable, growing stronger with each passing day. The memories we shared pull at my heart, drowning me in their intensity, and my tears fall until I feel numb. But does any of it even matter? I miss us so much it aches in my soul.

[letters-to-forever]

I love him in a way that defies reason, as if my very existence is tied to the ache of missing him. The further he drifts, the deeper I sink. Yet, I've learned to live like this alive, but perpetually longing. My desire for him is vast, endless, and unnameable, growing like a silent force within me. The memories of us weigh heavily on my heart, consuming me until tears fall without purpose, until even pain loses its shape. Does it matter? Perhaps not. But I miss us so fiercely that the void becomes my only certainty. This is time's cruel play with us, knowing we have nothing left. I yearn for the deep connection we once shared, longing for his deep brown eyes and the steady comfort of his voice, telling me that solace exists beyond the reality I thought belonged to us. Falling in love with him was effortless, but the journey became labyrinthine as time slipped away. The beauty of loving him was ephemeral, fleeting like a whispered promise. The exile from his life was daunting, beyond comprehension, nihilism felt tangible, and life became steeped in futility. My love for him exists now in this form of hiraeth. My adoration for his love turned into my own self-inflicted anguish. I don't bleed anymore, I only move closer to him, knowing the thread between us is woven with torment and bliss. And yet, I chose to wrap it around my neck, until suffocating in this love became my inevitable fate.

[letters-to-forever]

Heartbreak tastes like salt from tears you didn’t expect to shed, Like a sip of pop that’s gone bad, Or burnt toast that’s been forgotten too long. It’s the dryness of an empty cup, The sting of words left unsaid, Like the sound of laughter fading away, A taste of something that’s gone, but still hangs around. It’s the cold, metallic flavor of loneliness, And the sharpness of dreams slipping through your fingers, The ones you can't ever catch. Like rain on your lips, That never really hits the spot. Heartbreak tastes like that cup of coffee so bitter and unwanted. The loneliness plunges deep rooted in your soul, before you know it consumes you whole.

[letters-to-forever]

I could’ve kissed you once, and for a moment, you would’ve let me. I would’ve held onto it, knowing it wouldn’t last. But now, some nights, I lie awake convincing myself I’d never let you kiss me again.

Still, I wonder did your love go beyond what you could take from me? Were your hands just waiting to touch what they wanted, or could you have loved the parts of me you couldn’t see? I guess I’ll never know. But one thing I do know now is I wouldn't let you kiss me.

[letters-to-forever]

Death. She looms within every corner, but afraid I've been not for a while. The thought of you does; I fear you more than the ultimate reality of every man. Will death take away the agony of you? I fear it will be powerful enough to take you from me, the thought of my hands tracing your soft lips as I kiss the back of your neck, working my lips lower and lower. Giving you love, my love that I hold for you and you alone. Will death take away the pictures of you I painted in my head? They say I will lay six feet deep within the soil as the earth will consume me, but will that be enough to wipe the fiction my brain created for the both of us? Dare they say a word without knowing what I've felt for you.

Dare they tell me I will not become the wind when you miss me and flow in your lush brown locks. Dare they tell me I will not become the rain and pour down from the sky when your eyes turn moist at the thought of us. Dare they tell anything without knowing what I've felt for you. I imagine us even when the clock that timed us stopped ticking. Death won't stop me when I think about my hand tracing your bare back and my lips marking you for the world to see you're mine. Because I'll tell you one thing: I've lost you to the mishaps of life. But you belong to me, and my love for you has no mortality. The soil I lay deep in will remember your name. My soul, when it reaches the gates of God, will chant you and you only. But the world must have never known how much I have loved you.

[letters-to-forever]

When my suffering spills over and my blood writes the absurdity of my existence, would you hold me, not to erase it, but to affirm that even in this, we defy the silence of the void together? Or would you walk away, choosing instead the comfort of distant, unspoken indifference?

[letters-to-forever]

Today felt lighter than yesterday

[letters-to-forever]

There's a spider web on the wall of my room, and I stare at it all day, thinking, "Oh, to be loved by a writer."

Do you understand how much pain you caused me for me to write about you? There were words I could never say to your face, so I chose my pen instead. I sobbed every night, remembering you. You always brag about being loved by a writer, but does any part of you realize the pleasure you take in my pain?

I tell this to the spider in the web. I bet it knows me better than the people I call my own. You told me my words drowned you drowned you in what, my love? The guilt of your pleasure or the thrill of the chase I’ve been a part of?

You’ll always be loved by a writer, but it’s unfortunate that there’s no pride for you to take in it. You’re loved by me, just not wanted anymore.

I stare at the spider web, knowing this feeling will never go away.

[letters-to-forever]

I just woke up after 13 hours of sleep and i still feel so sleepy.

[letters-to-forever]

I met a stranger today. It was nothing like I'd have experienced before, I know life awaits so much for this stranger, and I.

"This is it." these words affected me more than anything I'd felt before, I met a stranger once again but I knew everything about him, just about him but unfortunately not him