letteredwingsrecs
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letteredwingsrecs · 7 months ago
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Sorry for this long ass review where I will be speaking back your own words to you but the tags wouldn't suffice 😭:
Okay firstly you introduced their dynamics sooooo well (side note I love Kevin being done with their shit so much) like the ranting the bickering THEY'RE SO OBSESSED WITH EACH OTHER AND THE ONLY ONE UNWILLING TO ADMIT THE OBSESSION IS READER LIKE GIRL WHAT (also damn I wasn't expecting her to have a boyfriend like you said y/n but I was sitting here like YOU BETTER STOP PLAYING)
And the angst was so good like reader telling him not to cross the fucking line when they had their argument like you really felt the tension and the line reader drew between them sheesh!!
Okay but first line that really kicked me in the gut was this about loser(affectionately) jae:
"He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn."
LIKE PLEASEEE HES SO SO OBSESSED HES SO UNHINGED
But also like him aching for the pain of being burnt by you but being tormented with the wonderings of why you cared about where he was or noticing that he looks different than usual was so *💋*
This part just made me cackle cos once again he is such a loser we love to see it:
"The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you."
This part was just so 🥺🥺🥺 like this part did things to my chest I was like stop he is so c*te 🥺🥺🥺🥺:
"In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again."
THIS BIT HURT ME SO BAD AND I HATED THE READR THUS MYSELF BECAUSE OW OW OW I WAS GASPING IN RAGE AND HURT ON HIS BEHALF:
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted"
LIKE HELLO HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT TO HIM AND GOSH THE WAY HE SAID YOU DONT WANT ME IM GONNA CRY AGAIN THINKING ABOUT HIS LOSER FACE BEING SO SAD
Once again I was obsessed with how much of a loser he is:
"When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more." LIKE
Oh when reader was like "you wanted to be his downfall" I was there like a villain cackling rubbing my hands together like OHOHOHO IF ONLY YOU KNEW YOU BEEN HIS DOWNFALL FOR A LONG TIME NOW
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” ur such a loser I want you pull yourself together man 😩
ALSO HELP IDONT WANNA QUOTE DIRECTLY BUT JUST HIM TONGUE?!?!?! INCOHERANT JUST STOP THAT WAS ILLEGAL THAT WAS SO 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” this line... did some unhinged sinful things to me like aldkgkskdkd HAHAH SHIT HE MADE ME FEEL INSANE WITH THIS LINE HELP that was...so hot... yea... I can't give more because my brain feels a bit like mush honestly (tongue game strong 🤪)
When he asked if he was sloppy seconds I was like 🥺☹️ want a hug? BUT THEN HE BROKE THE NECKLACE AND I WAS LIKE OH DAMN I WANT NO NEED YOU AGAIN 😭😭😭
Damn just realised I probably ready this with loser jae lens I am no better than him fr
And when he said the necklace looked cheap anyway 🤭🤭🤭
HIM CALLING OUT READER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY MAKING READER GO DUMB FOR HIM THIS WHOLE SECTION WAS SO QODOEKEKW CRAZY IT WAS HOT:
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 
Like damn that was so mean... do it again 😭 (no wait reminded me at the start when he said reader exposed his degradation kink but... he here dishing it out instead and... I am ashamed to say I liked it 😭)
OH THIS PART I WAS CLUTCHING MY DAMN PEARLS:
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 like Lord have mercy pleaseeee psychotic is right
The whole using like a rag doll and then "He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by." LIKE HES SO NASTY 🥴🥴🥴 (also op I thank you for making him thick I just- yea thank you 🙏🏾)
LISTEN I DONT USUALLT LIKE DEGRADATION AT LEAST NOT WITH NAME CALLING BUT THIS AWOKE SMTH IN ME BECAUSE THIS KIND OF POSSESSION YES PLEASE:
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word." I stopped breathing fr
Im not even gonna horrify you with any further explanation to what i experienced with this line but just know i loved this line “Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?" 😶😶😶
SORRY TO COPY AND PASTE YET ANOTHER WHOLE SECTION I WAS OBSESSED WITH BUT I JUST NEED YOU TO KNOW THIS WHOLE PART MESSRD WITH MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!!
"yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.” YKNOW WHATS ACTUALLY CRAZY IS HOW CRAZY YOU ARE LEE JAEHYUN!!!!!!
And when he said he won I had nothing else to say like yea you did a number on me op I felt as brain empty as reader 😭😭😭
ANYWAY THAT WAS SUCH A WILD RIDE I LOVED HOW YOU BUILT IT UP OVERALL IT DIDNT FEEL RUSHED IT WAS PACED PERFECTLY YOU CHARACTERISED SO WELL YOU SET EACH SCENE SO WELL IT WAS ALL SO IMMERSIVE (BOTH FORTUNATELY AND UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME BECAUSE SANITY IS HANGING BY A THREAD) ALSO I CANT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED THE RAWNESS OF THE SCENE OF THEM SITTING ON THE CAR BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU DIDNT MAKE READER MAGICALLY LOVE JAE AND THAT YOU MADE READERS FEELINGS SO COMPICATED WITH THE PAIN OF LOSING HER BOYFRIEND BUT STILL LOVING HIM DESPITE THE PAIN LIKE GOD THAT FELT SO RAW AND REAL BUT THEN BY THE END OF IT ALL READER CRAVING HIM IN A NON SEXUAL INTIMATE WAY WANTED TO BE HELD BY HIM AHHHH LIKE YOU HINTED THE POTENTIAL UNDERLYING FEELINGS READER MAY HAVE TO HIM THROUGHOUT OR AT LEAST SHOWED HOW EASY IT IS TO CONFUSED FRUSTRATION AND ANGER WITH HATRED BUT ITS JUST PASSION AND INTENSITY JUST AHHH YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS
OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE
SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae
PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader
GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining
WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS :  outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)
WORD COUNT ✧ 19k
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⋮≡ [ OUR INFERNO EXCLUSIVE ] @deoboyznet @flwoie @sanaxo-o — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]
⋮≡ [ PERMANENT TAGLIST ] @armysantiny @stealanity @zzoguri @nyujjan @tinisprout @the-kpop-simp @sunwoosberrie @winterchimez — fill out the form or comment/send an ask/dm to be added!
THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION
AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves
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PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE
“Genuine question.”
“Shoot.”
“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”
Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center. 
“Well, he is your boss.”
“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye. 
“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.
“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”
Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support. 
Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’
For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.
“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.
“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”
“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”
Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.
“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.
“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”
“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.
“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”
“Well yeah, but the—”
“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”
“That’s just how-”
“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.
“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”
“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.
You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.
You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.
“You.” 
Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.
As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be. 
“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”
“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.
Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.
“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”
Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.
“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”
“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.
“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”
“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.
“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”
“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.
“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.
“You’re not scared of me?”
And you keep falling for the bait.
“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.
Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away. 
“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”
“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”
You narrowed your eyes at him.
“Don’t call me that–”
“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”
What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.
Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism. 
Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.
“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.
“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”
“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.
“Get a room—!”
“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”
“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared. 
“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”
“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”
You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).
“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.
“And apparently horny too.”
“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in). 
“Hello? I’m still here.”
“Look at that. He already misses me.”
“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.
“Ew.”
“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically. 
“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”
“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”
“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”
He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance. 
Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.
“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”
You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.
“Now why the hell do you think—”
“Zip it.”
Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.
Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.
“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”
“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.
“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.
The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.
“You can’t be serious.”
Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.
“You’re the one in denial.”
Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.
“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.
The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.
“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.
“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”
For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.
“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”
Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.
“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”
“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”
“It was a mistake, okay?”
“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.” 
Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you. 
All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.
“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”
“You’re still with him??”
“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”
And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.
“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”
“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”
“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”
“Again, none of your fucking business–”
“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”
“I am not going to repeat myself-”
“Can’t you just listen to what I-”
“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.
Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.
After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself. 
“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”
Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better. 
“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”
“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.
“It isn’t right—”
“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”
Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.
You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.
Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.
“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.
When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.
“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”
And with that, you left. 
//
Kevin apologized to you the morning after.
He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.
According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.
Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.
But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain. 
It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.
He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council. 
Yet it all felt so different.
Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.
You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either. 
There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same. 
Then you would never have to see him in college.
Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate. 
Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.
But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?
From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.
He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.
He knew when to stop.
Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?
“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t show up for a single class.”
Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.
“That’s not like him,” he replied.
“Yeah.”
“I wonder why.”
“I wonder too.” 
After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.
“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.” 
“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.” 
You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.
Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.
“Why are you thinking about him?”
That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.
“What?”
“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”
“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”
Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.
“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”
“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.
“Y/N!”
You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.
She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you. 
“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”
She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.
“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear. 
“Your outfit’s really cute today.”
“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”
“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”
“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”
She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.
“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”
The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.
A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.
“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”
“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date. 
“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”
You knew it.
Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.
“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?
“So you want me to do it?”
“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”
You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.
Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.
“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”
“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.
“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”
The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt. 
“What?”
Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.
“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”
Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.
“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own. 
When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.
“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.
There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own. 
//
With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.
The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.
But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?
As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.
Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over. 
Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.
You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him. 
Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.
Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.
The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels. 
“Nice try.”
You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.
Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this. 
“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.
Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching. 
“What do you mean?”
Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.
“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”
“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were. 
Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you. 
“What–?”
“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”
“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”
“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.
“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.
Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.
Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.
“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”
“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.
“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”
“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.
Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?
The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him. 
As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own. 
You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince. 
After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.
Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting. 
You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.
Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.
You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.
“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.
“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”
“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all. 
“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.
And just like that, she continued running off. 
You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.
Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.
When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.
Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.
So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.
Of course it was Hyunjae.
You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.
The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was. 
You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.
Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice. 
“You’re not even halfway yet?”
In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.
“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.
When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.
 “What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago. 
“You’re taking too long.”
“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.
And Hyunjae was totally judging.
“You can’t be serious.”
“Just go home.”
Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“I can do it myself,” you explained. 
“What are you even doing?” 
“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.
“You’re struggling.”
“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.
“Let me do it.”
Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.
“You’re kidding.”
“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”
“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”
“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”
Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.
“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”
“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you. 
“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.
“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.
Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.
Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.
“Hyunjae, I swear—”
“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.” 
Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up. 
You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.
By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.
As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.
Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes. 
“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.
Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.
“Hey, baby!”
You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.
“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.
“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.
“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.
“Of course I was, baby.” 
You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.
But then it fell.
Something felt off.
//
If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not. 
Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.
Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in. 
Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity. 
All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.
It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different. 
Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.
Except for one thing; your fury.
There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other. 
Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra. 
Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most. 
Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.
The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.
It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.
Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low). 
So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.
What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.
He wanted to burn.
Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?
He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night. 
It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you. 
At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him. 
But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.
Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.
“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.
“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.
Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic. 
With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.
Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night. 
After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.
“Hello?”
With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.
“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you. 
You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.
There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.
“I need a ride.”
Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.
Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.
He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare. 
But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.
After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did. 
He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.
“Drink up and find an Uber.”
“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.
“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"
Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?
But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you. 
God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.
For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with. 
It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing. 
Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.
You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there. 
In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.
He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car. 
Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.
Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.
While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips. 
Where did he even come from?
And why was he so quick to listen?
You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.
You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.
“Drive.”
Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.
“Where to?”
“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”
The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel. 
You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).
After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.
It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.
Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.
“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.
“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”
Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.
Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.
“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him. 
You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen. 
Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.
There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.
Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.
And your voice broke the silence.
“How long have you known?”
Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty. 
His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.
“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”
Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.
Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.
Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.
But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.
“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.
The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner. 
His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.
At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye. 
Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt. 
Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil. 
Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.
There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw. 
It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.
The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.
Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend. 
Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.
You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.
“I didn’t mean to.”
Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.
“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.
“I know, Jae.”
Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.
Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—
You laughed.
Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.
“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”
His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation. 
“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”
You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?
It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth. 
“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”
Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.
“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”
Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?
You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?
And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay. 
You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.
Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.
Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever. 
Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.
“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped. 
“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.
Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.
“Please.”
Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better. 
“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless. 
You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.
“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”
Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround. 
But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.
“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.
“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”
Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity. 
But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?
Especially when he could have you right here, right now. 
“You’re using me.”
Your expression didn’t falter.
“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.
“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”
“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.
“You love me, don’t you?”
His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.
His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.
“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”
There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.
He knew better.
“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan. 
He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.
He knew better.
“You’re using me.”
You both knew better.
Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.
“And I say take advantage of it.”
Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.
Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement. 
The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.
You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.
When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.
You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more. 
After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.
“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over. 
“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.
“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity. 
Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.
Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.
You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable. 
Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could. 
Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back. 
“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.
“But it’s true, no?”
“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.
You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.
The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.
He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.
You wanted to be his downfall. 
Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.
“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”
“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.
And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.
Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all. 
But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat. 
Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.
He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.
“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?” 
Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.
He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.
Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you. 
“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”
“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.
“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.
You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.
“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.
But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him. 
When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.
“Did I do this?”
His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly. 
He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.
“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.
“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”
“A favor is a stretch—”
Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.
“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”
He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you. 
Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.
“Jaehyun, please,” you begged. 
He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin. 
Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.
“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care. 
“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”
Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night. 
When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you. 
“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were. 
He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name. 
As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust. 
“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.” 
The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.
Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.
“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”
There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.
And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.
Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion. 
“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him. 
“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear. 
“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side. 
“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat. 
You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.
“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.
“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?” 
You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.
“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.
He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.
“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”
The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.
“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”
You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move. 
With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.
“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.
He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises. 
“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”
“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back. 
“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you. 
“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.
“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole. 
“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.
“Psychotic, just for my princess.”
Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.
“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless. 
“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.
“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure. 
Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be. 
He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.
And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.
He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.
Oh, and there was the recording too.
While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.
“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.
You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.
“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?” 
“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time. 
Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.
“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”
He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.
“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”
Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.
“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”
Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.
Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.
He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.
“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming. 
Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.
“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”
“Mine.”
You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.
Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder. 
“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”
He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.
Maybe you were his.
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OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]
NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ
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© https://hcuyk.tumblr.com/
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letteredwingsrecs · 11 months ago
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[20:10]
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Soft Boi! Lee Hyunjae x Drunk gf! Fem Reader
↳ Genre: fluff, slight angst? some hints of suggestiveness, drunk silly in a needy mood gf, sad bf
↳ wc: 1.9k+ (i can not write anything short to save my life)
masterlist!
My eyes take in what's in front of me as the alcohol continues to swirl in my blood, making my body feel warm and tingly.
I feel an arm around my waist and my other arm hanging over that someone as my feet involuntary walk.
My eyes are too tired, dazed, I can't function properly.
A familiar beep rings in my ear, I know that beep. I try to pry my eyes open and I'm welcome by a light that I know all too well. My eyes struggle to stay open as the body next to me continues to haul me inside, earning a mumble out my lips. These hands are securing me so tight.
"jesus y/n how much did you drink?"
That voice. I'm seated and I take in my surrounding and register the walls and the stone slab on the island in the center of a kitchen. It's my apartment.
The sheer exhaustion is taking over my body.
Ugh why did I drink so much~
"Drink this"
No please no more alcohol. I crank my upper body up off the island countertop to see a glass of what I hope is water and I let my eyes travel further up following the path of that arm to a shoulder then to a face my eyes can't quite distinguish enough without squinting.
My expression without a doubt is assembled by pouting lips and knitted eyebrows, suspicion evident.
But I take the glass and drink. Coldness runs down the corridor of my throat, instantly cooling my body, it feels nice. But it ends shortly, because I feel the buzzing of my blood come back.
I drink that oasis as much as I could as I assess the man in front of me.
My eyes fixate on his features, squinting and taking in everything he has to offer, and in return is knitted eyebrows and a look of frustration.
He has a really nice nose, and a sharp jaw.
All of a sudden, a content smile falls on my lips when I notice he looks an awful like someone I know, but before I open my mouth to voice that thought, he cuts it off, "come on let's get you to bed"
A pout surfaces on my lips when I hear that, but then he hooks an arm under my legs and one around my back, and that pout gets replaced with an adoring smile.
Am I in a dream? And this dreamy man is taking me to bed? I let my head fall against his chest and as I hear his heart beat knocking on my ears, I close my eyes, ready to let my dream take its course.
My course gets cut short when I feel a cold surface against my behind. I jolt my eyes open and I see him grabbing a toothbrush, squeezing a decent size of toothpaste on the bristles.
"ah" He's telling me to open my mouth and me feeling flushed easily obeying orders, I can't help but to do so.
His hand works thoroughly to properly clean my teeth, and I can't help but feel my heart racing and I can see in the way his brows knit, a look of concentration takes over.
“rinse and spit” I follow his instructions, while his eyes never leave from me.
When I lean back I see his fingers pulling out a makeup wipe.
"close your eyes"
Why do I trust him so much? For someone who has such a look of disappointment drawn on his face, why?
As I let that question invade my mind, he progresses onto the rest of my face as I continued to gaze at him, studying.
The alcohol coursing through my veins makes me feel bold and flustered.
"your nose looks just like my boyfriend's"
An indication of frustration flashes in his eyes, "I am your boyfriend"
I blinked profusely, I knew this man was at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't pin it. My spine straightened, "Jae?" with my eyes round with shock.
"Yes" he exhales a heavy sigh and an eye roll, almost with relief telling me 'finally'
My heart lurches and I pull him into me wrapping my arms around his neck, "jae oh my god, why didn't you say anything?" I sounded almost whiney, and I knew my sober self would hate how this version of her was.
Hyunjae finally wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly in his embrace, then he digs his face into the crook of my neck sending my drunk blood into overdrive feeling his hot breath, "I assumed my own girlfriend would know who I am"
He then picks me up and walks us over to the bed, "lets get you out of these clothes"
I was feeling needy of sorts, and my lower belly fluttered with butterflies as he undressed me, but that dissipated when he gave me a sleeping shirt and put me in shorts.
Would it be too much to say that I felt a little disappointed? I was then welcomed by a very warm comforter and him pulling me into his embrace. I glanced up to see that possibly, just maybe I ignored and brushed him off during that whole party, I wanted to talk it out, but I was too helpless and drunk to help him, so I did anything, just anything that would bring him comfort.
Every being of me hated seeing him like this.
I ran my thumb against his cheek, under his eyes, "i'm so sorry Jae", my features turn sad while I continue to run my thumb across his brows, hoping I could take that tension that's invading my precious boyfriend's face. Hyunjae instantly loosens up and pulls me in just a tad tighter.
The weight of my eyes are getting too heavy for my comfort, and I close them to appease the sting. My fingers run to the back of his nape, letting them massage through his locks.
"you have really soft hair" and I received a hum in return. "and you have pretty eyes" another hum. "you also have a perfect nose that i'm rather jealous of" I can hear a faint snort. I continue my compliment, "you have an outstanding jawline......a perfect body."
With that last note about his body, I let my mind wander. My fingers drifted to his chest down to his abs, those slabs of abs that I loved so much and I heard a slight groan escape from his throat, that noise alone made me feel so much needier.
My fingers took a hold of his hand that was wrapped around my waist and I pulled them off me and up in between us, "and I love these fingers", my voice sounding sultry and evident of need, I brought his fingers to my lips so I can kiss it lightly.
My eyes fluttered open to see he had a dark intense stare in his eyes. If I wasn't drunk, I could probably pinpoint every thought behind those pools of brown, but I couldn't, not while alcohol was running in my blood.
But something that was very prominent was the deepening of his knitted brows and a swallow of his throat, he was taking in every will power to hold back, to refrain.
And he did, he pulled his hand back to wrap around my waist and snuggled his face deeper into my neck, "y/n please" his voice was desperately pleading, "I can't do that with you, not while you're drunk, so please....help me and go to sleep" his arm wrapped tighter around me like he was afraid I was going to run realizing that maybe I had felt rejected by him.
And I promise you, it wasn't that. My insides melted, my heart puddled, if it was under any circumstance where I was even just a little buzzed, Hyunjae would never ever take advantage of me, not even touch me in any inappropriate way.
I take a deep breath, and I feel his fingers tighten his grasp, patiently waiting what I was going to do next. I adjusted us, so that I was the one burying into his chest, "...and I love your heart" I slid my hands to the beating area of his chest, "so much.. for never ever doing anything that could possibly hurt mine"
Hyunjae's fingers graze the skin of my shoulder as sleep is ready to take over me, but before I do, I let out one last wholehearted fact, "and I'm very much so, in love with you Lee Jaehyun" I can feel his whole body tense, and for a few seconds I don't hear him say or do anything, and I couldn't help but be washed over by immense hurt, but the night is calling me to sleep and I can't stay awake enough to see how this would play through.
-
My eyelids get glistened by the thin lights shining through the blinds and the throbbing of my head is killing me. I stir in my half awaken state feeling the hard yet soft surface under me.
"are you okay?" Hyunjae. Then a wrench of my heart takes over my body and that feeling alone triggered my mind taking course remembering everything that went down yesterday. Remembering at least the most important detail.
That he didn't say it back.
I lift my body off his chest, and Hyunjae quickly mirrors my action, letting him sit up himself, and when I feel the circles of his thumb grazing the back of my hand, I hadn't noticed he was even holding it. Like it was comforting me, like he knew that that was what I needed.
Hyunjae leans over to grab a glass of water on the bedside table as I rub my eyes on the back of my unoccupied hand and I can only respond with a weak 'yes' to his query.
I want so bad to take that hand back to my own body and out of his touch, but he's holding onto it for dear life, like it's the only thing he can do for me right now.
"are you sure?" He asks while placing a glass of water in front of me gesturing me to drink it. And I can't tell if he's asking me if I'm still drunk or if it's because he never reciprocated back my declaration of love.
"yes" it's still weaker than I wish and when I look up to see him, I see his jaw tighten as his eyes flicker between mine and I hope that what he's seeing is not the pain behind them.
He swallows a lump down his throat and asks me, "you're not drunk anymore right?"
Why he would ask that? My mind is running a couple of possibilities, yet I reply with a shake of my head and a 'no'.
"good......because I'm very much in love with you too y/n"
My mouth gapes open at him and my eyes widen slightly for a second, before the realization that he was just waiting till I was sober hits me, and my body relaxes and falls into him.
I'm such a fool to ever doubt that he didn't love me back.
"I was so terrified you didn't love me back...y-you didn't say anything" and I feel him tensing under me.
Hyunjae tightens his arms around my shoulders, planting a kiss to my head, "not nearly possible, I waited till all of you were somewhat here with me"
My heart constricts all the more.
"I don't think I'm capable of not loving you y/n"
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letteredwingsrecs · 1 year ago
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Creature Comforts
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pairing: eric x reader genre: fluff... protective best friend eric who is fake boyfriend for 1 night... college au... friends secretly in love summary: best friend Eric protects you at a party then makes you feel better warnings: harassment, alcohol word count: 1.3k
“I don’t want to go,” you whine. “What’s so good about being stuck in a confined space with like a hundred sweaty strangers who you don't know if they're good people?”
Eric is currently drinking alcohol out of a red cup because he claims you have to already be tipsy before you get to the club, which you don’t understand. “Because it’s fun.”
You sigh, glaring at your own cup he filled for you. “You know what’s more fun?”
He gives you a look, as if telling you not to start, but you start anyway. 
“Reading textbook glossaries. Watching snails. Buying food from a convenience store and eating it by the curb in front of an empty parking lot at midnight.”
“That’s awfully specific,” he remarks absent-mindedly.
“It is,” you nod. “Awfully specific things such as these are much more entertaining.”
“Come onnn don’t be a wuss. Now drink up and let’s go.” he taps your cup. You grumble, following his orders.
Once you’re there, it takes you all but five minutes to start feeling tired and uncomfortable. Too many bodies, mostly scantily clad, pressed together. The stink of alcohol on everyone’s breath. And the music, by god, the music is loud, way too loud. Do they know they’ll suffer from hearing damage after just five minutes of listening to anything this loud? You figure your entire generation will suffer an epidemic of hearing loss by middle age. 
To make things better, Eric runs into an old friend and they decide to catch up. Alone for now, you decide that the bar is the least exciting thing in the entire place and of course, it becomes your doom.
A man, much much older than you, finds you there. His smile is creepy, his eyes leering. You’re nice to him at first, but he takes it as interest. He slides into the seat beside you, grinning, leaning too close and now you’re looking for Eric, who is still speaking to his friend while talking animatedly and laughing.
You text him help several times so that he can feel the buzzing of his phone. You watch as he slides the phone out from his pocket to check it, before looking over at you in confusion. Then, his face is twisting in slight shock, processing the scene before him as you plead with your eyes.
The stranger leans in too close, his breath fanning your face. You lean away in disgust. “What are you looking for?”
“I think I’ll spend the rest of the night with my friend if you don’t mind.”
The man frowns. “Why?”
You shrug. “I just don’t know you that well.”
“Well, you can get to know me.” He comes closer. You stand up from the seat.
“It’s alright, have a good night,” you wave at him.
He grabs your wrist in a vice grip. Sheer anxiety and dread well up inside you. Eric’s voice suddenly erupts from behind you.
“What’s going on?” His voice is sharp, sharper than you’ve ever heard before. His eyes are hard. The man immediately frowns and he deflates, having lost his chance to prey on another young woman.
“Nothing. We were just talking.”
Eric eyes the man’s hand clamped around your wrist. “Then let her go.” He drags your wrist towards him, forcing the man to release.
Eric tucks you in towards him and a little protectively away from the stranger, his hands on your shoulders.
Unbelievably, the man still persists. “I just wanted to-”
“The lady said no.” Eric bites out, cold and devoid of empathy. It nearly makes you shiver. You barely recognize him.
The man stands to approach and Eric steps in front of you, shielding with his body. His entire frame is tense, arms taut, fists clenched.
“Who do you think you are? She said you’re just her friend.”
“I’m her boyfriend, now get the fuck away from her.” Eric leans in a bit in the man’s space. With a final glare, he backs off, mumbling some misogynistic curse words. 
Eric doesn’t relax or stop glaring until the man retreats completely from view. Then, he’s turning around to face you.
You sigh shakily, tears in your eyes. “Thank-”
He pulls you into his chest without a word. You melt against his soft hoodie, grateful for the comfort. His arms hug you tightly to him, hand pressing your head to his chest, his chin resting on top. You sigh, all the stress and tension draining out of you. It’s a few moments before he lets go, but you don’t. Your arms hold onto him, face buried in his chest, relishing in the rare feeling of safety. 
“Are you okay?” He asks, arms coming back around to hug you. You sigh again, the feelings of relief and safety giving way to frustration.
“I’m tired. I can’t go anywhere without this happening.”
He makes a soft noise in sympathy, stroking your hair gently. It’s a few moments of silence filled with the party’s noise, the music, the talking, everything around you before you hear his comforting voice again.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
You glance up at him. He’s smiling softly. Then, he presses a single, soft kiss to your forehead that has your stomach doing flips. He takes your hand and guides you through the crowded bodies to the sweet, cool air outside. 
“Where are we going?”
He only gives you a smile and tugs your hand towards the convenience store across the street. 
At the store, he rummages through the aisles before picking up some hot dogs from the food stands nearby. His hand never leaves yours. He can tell you’re still jittery and makes sure you’re always pressed to his side in some way. It calms you. It’s only at the cash register when he lets go and steps away that you panic.
You clutch onto him, tugging him back towards you a little. His eyes widen in surprise. He observes you for a moment, but you don’t say anything, the jitteriness still evident.
“I’m just going to pay, okay? It will only take a second.” His eyes roam your face with concern, his hand squeezing yours that’s still clutching his hoodie.
You release a breath. “Okay.”
He gazes at you with knit eyebrows before taking your hand in his and approaching the cash register. He makes sure you’re close to him when he lets go of your hand to pay. Then, he takes your hand again and steps out the door.
“Come on,” he brings you to the curb in front of the nearly empty parking lot and sits down.
You blink down at him. “What are you doing?”
“Exactly what you said,” he unwraps the hot dog from the wrapper while imitating a high voice. “ ‘You know what’s more fun? Buying food from a convenience store and eating it by the curb in front of an empty parking lot at midnight.’ ”
You stare at him, slightly stunned that he remembered, and slightly annoyed that he mocked you. “I don’t sound like that.”
You plop down next to him and he hands you your food.
“You do a little,” he chuckles fondly. You shake your head, unwrapping the aluminum. It's a few moments of silence before he's speaking again.
“Are you okay?” His voice is gentle, shoulder brushing yours.
“I.. don’t know,” you mumble.
He grits his teeth. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. Especially since you didn’t want to come.”
“It’s alright," you wave him off.
He gazes at you. “You know I'll always be here for you, right?”
You glance at him and note the endearing sincerity in his eyes. Something warm swells in your chest. “Yes, I know. Thank you, Eric,” you smile. “And thank you for being my boyfriend tonight.”
He smiles a little, eyes alight as if he’s about to say something. If you were to guess, it's probably along the lines of I could be your boyfriend every night, teasingly. But he seems to decide against it.
Taking another bite, you both watch over the empty parking lot, quiet, spacious, safe, under the stars. 
He chuckles. “You were right. This is way more fun.”
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letteredwingsrecs · 2 years ago
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Dirty Little Secret
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Pairing: Bad boy! Hyunjae x Fem! reader
Synopsis: Lee Hyunjae, the school’s bad boy. He’s widely known not only for his cold personality but also the fact that his charms can get any girl to sleep with him. But, is his reputation as true as everyone claims, or is it all just a lie that someone decided to spread which he had no control over? (heavily inspired by this moodboard)
Word Count: 1.1K
Warnings: smut (plain as day), oral (m. receiving), face fucking, curse words, mentions the word “slut” (once), suggestive theme at the end, use of pet names “princess” & “baby��, mentions gagging, inexperienced character, and idk what else? Let me know if I missed anything!
18+ only (minors dni, I’m looking at you 👀) A/N: be gentle, it’s my first time writing a fic 🤪 so expect grammar errors and awful smut writing. Hope you enjoy! Shoutout to the lovely @jasminexox​ for inspiring me to start fic writing 💕 ✦•···············•✦•···············•✦•···············•✦•···············•✦•···············•✦•·············•✦ “Oh Hyunjae…” 
He nervously looks up as you delicately caress his cheek.
“…Do I make you nervous?”
Yes, you do make him nervous. In his entire existence, you’re the only one that has him falling on his knees when you’re around and he has no clue why. To him, it’s like he was placed under a hypnotizing spell the moment he knew you weren’t like the others that threw themselves at him especially when you would deflect his charming ways (which was what intrigued him the most). You had this powerful effect on Hyunjae and it was starting to get him incredibly frustrated in every way possible (…if you know what I mean).
Of course, he can’t let you know that. Especially with the bad boy / fuckboy image he’s been trying to keep up these past years in college. No one can EVER know that he’s capable of succumbing to anyone, especially you.
He scoffs as he desperately tries to hold his dark gaze on you, “As if.”
“….So you wouldn’t mind if I did this then?” 
You elegantly sink down onto your knees in front of him as he sits at the edge of the bed, lightly brushing his bulge in the process as you latch your fingertips at the hem of his jeans while keeping eye contact as you wait for his permission. Hyunjae is using all his might not to roll back his eyes from how sultry your voice rings in his ears.
“Show me what that pretty mouth can do then princess…” He cockily says.
You smirk back at him, not believing a single word he’s saying but you just play along. You unbutton his jeans and slip them off, leaving him with his oh-so-thin boxers on. You lean forward to kiss his inner thigh, leaving traces of kisses until you passionately mouth his twitching bulge. You never leave your gaze on him, making sure he’s watching your every move. Honestly? The sight alone could make Hyunjae cum on the spot. But no, he can’t admit defeat. Not like this.
However, his groans tell you otherwise.
— 15 minutes later — 
“Fuck, y/n. Right there… shit” He moans as he feels you take all of him in your mouth. “You like that baby?” You ask him while kissing all the parts of his throbbing cock. He nods profusely. “Y-yeah.. Mmm”. The fucked out face he gives you should be framed on the wall. You also feel your own core throbbing, soaking your panties further from how insanely hot he looks right now. You dive to take his whole length in your mouth again, causing his swollen tip to reach the back of your throat. The lewd moans you make while sucking him off has Hyunjae going feral as he feels himself twitching in your mouth.
With his jaw clenching out of sexual frustration, the poor man just wants to cum so bad already. Especially with how you’re going he doesn’t know how long he’ll last. Hyunjae decides to take matters into his own hands (literally). He reaches down to hold your face and starts erratically moving his hips to fuck your mouth like there’s no tomorrow. 
“Shit, i-i’m almost close…” he says, closing his eyes while you, on the other hand, have tears running down your face with how deep his cock is in your mouth. His groans and the ungodly slurping noises you’re making fill the room’s silence.
Hyunjae swears he’s gonna see stars any second now especially with all the gagging noises coming from you. No one has ever sucked his cock this good……In fact, no one has ever sucked him at all.
Head in the clouds and lost with lust, he unknowingly blurts out the latter thought.
Just when Hyunjae feels his orgasm reaching you abruptly stop sucking him off with a loud popping sound, which makes Hyunjae whine harshly. “Fuck, why’d you stop?” he asks, feeling out of breath.
You couldn’t believe what he just said. You look up at him to reassure yourself that what you just heard wasn’t just your imagination.“…are you sure you’ve done this before?”
Hyunjae’s eyes suddenly widened at your question, realizing he accidentally slipped. “Shit” he muttered to himself. He nervously tries to play it cool by quickly replying, “W-what are you talking about?”
“I don’t know…” You pause for a brief moment, “…you seem very nervous by all of this. You know, for someone who sleeps around a lot.” You say with a skeptical look on your face.
“Fuck, she’s onto you. You need to do something NOW.” Hyunjae thinks to himself as he frantically thinks of his next move.
“Oh yeah? Let’s see about that” He aggressively brings you up from your kneeling position, and flips you onto your back on the bed instantly. He forcefully spreads your thighs apart, causing you to moan as he hovers over you. He dives right into the side of your neck, licking from your collarbone all the way to your jawline. He leans forward to lightly bite your delicate earlobe, making you moan even more like you’re his little slut.
While one hand is firmly gripping your hair back for better access to your neck, the other slowly moves down to your hot wet core. He grips your pussy tightly and tugs your panties to the side for better access to your sensitive bud.
Believe me, you wanted to squirm at his touch. Especially with how hot his groans were sounding beside your ear and how his hard cock was rubbing against your thigh. But something was off, especially with the way he was awkwardly trying to circle his fingers at your core. 
And that’s when you realize… he has no clue where your clit is.
This fucker doesn’t know what he’s doing at all. Hyunjae, “rebellious fuckboy” everyone drools over, is in fact… inexperienced. 
The sudden realization causes you to pull your head back and grin at him like a Cheshire Cat. He looks back at you, confused.
“What are you staring a-“ His words are cut off when you suddenly flip him over to get on top of him, pinning his wrists above his head against the mattress as you grind your clothed pussy on his cock.
“Wha- what are you doing?” Hyunjae looks up at you, trying to keep his eyes from fluttering shut with how good you roll your hips.
“Showing you how it’s done, baby” You say with the cockiest smirk alive. You lean down to lick his lips painstakingly slow before giving him a deep, passionate kiss.
“And don’t worry…”
The most pornographic moan escapes Hyunjae’s mouth as your thumb rubs his leaking tip hard. You deeply stare into his brown orbs before whispering in his ear, 
“… I’ll keep your secret.”
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letteredwingsrecs · 2 years ago
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texts in his pov: sunwoo ver 😎!
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LOLLLLLLL i’m not good at math and i’m too lazy to fix my mistake so just ignore it LOLLLLLLLLLL
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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[02:49]
Kim Sunwoo
Requested; An innocent make out session, only to be caught.
a/n: this is longer than erics ‘-‘ and i kinda like it more
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“no wait- ah! Sunwoo stop”
A soft press of his lips on your neck, your back to his chest under the comfort of your comforter while he maneuvers his hands to grip you tightly stilling you.
He tickles the sensitive skin of your neck with his featherlike pecks and that causes an instant reaction from you; bending your neck and crouching down to get away from the source, his lips. “that tickles”
Sunwoo finds it hard to not place his lips back to your neck, burying his face, “i know it does princess, that was the goal”
He moves all the hair away from his area of claim and starts to pepper kisses all over the slope of your neck again and jaw and your teeth bares into a grin.
“mmm”
Sunwoo opens his eyes piqued from the noise that released from you. He lifts up the hem of your shirt and places his freer hand on the skin of your stomach, letting his fingers dance over your skin obtaining the warmth you’re giving. “I like the sounds you make, they’re cute.”
You feel Sunwoo focus on one spot of your neck paired with his tongue this time. A gentle suction causing you to hiss. He sucks harder. You feel the need to pull away from his lip. The hand of his arm from under you comes up to your jaw locking you in place right where he needs you to be.
“Sunwoo my parents will kill you if you give me a hickey”
Sunwoo bites down on that same spot, giving it extra love. Then running his tongue over it. He pulls away and admires it, dipping back down to give it one more kiss, “that’s only if they see it, so you better do a good job at hiding it, you do want to see me again don’t you?”
You can just sense his fake innocent pout. You can sense it anywhere. Those doe eyes and bottom lip jutting out in a frown. You roll your eyes even if he can’t see, but you’re positive he can sense it just like you can sense his pout. You pull away enough to glare at him, “seems like you’re trying to find a reason to leave me”.
He pulls you back by the hand on your stomach, “impossible” His voice dripping with sweetness like fresh honey and he starts to circle the skin above your navel. “Come here”, you feel his hand leave from under your shirt to your jaw turning your head back guiding your lips to meet his.
Oh those supple lips that you adore and know too well. So soft and goodness gracious your boyfriend knew how to kiss. Once he knew you were turned enough to focus on kissing him back, (and you definitely were concentrated into that kiss) his hand found its spot right back in your shirt, riding it up just slightly. He pulls your back flush to his front, bending his legs slightly into yours, letting him rock your hips against his.
You sigh into his mouth, “mmm Sunwoo-wait, m-my dads home we could get caught”
He breaks the kiss going to the shell of your ear,“That’ll only happen if you make sudden noises” his thumb advances to the tender swell of your breast, “so don’t make any sudden noises princess” It’s lustrous and playful, the way his voice sounds. A gasp falls from your lips when the pad of his thumb runs against your nipple.
He grins and cranes his head back to cushion against your lips and continues to circle your hardened nipple, “i said no sudden noises y/n”
You feel him nip at your bottom lip, soothing it over with his tongue and your gasp gives him access to explore your mouth and he evokes a whimper from you only to moan right back into your mouth while slowly grinding against you.
Well now that’s a little unfair that he’s a little hypocritical with his own rule. You figure you can have fun with that, so you bring your hands up to his head, fingers tugging on his locks and pulling him, guiding those lips that are pressed against yours, he mewls right into your mouth, and you feel desperate for more of his sounds. You dig your hips back into his, needing to feel more of him.
It took you a while, not sure how short or long for you to hear anything else other than the noises from you or Sunwoo.
“ahem”
Alarms go off in your head and your eyes widen, tearing yourself off of Sunwoo immediately.
Shit
Fuck
Oh my god
You’re off Sunwoo, standing, you turn to your boyfriend, he’s still seated.
You find yourself looking around frantically while fixing your hair, making sure no buttons on you are popped open or anything, nails neat and tidy, honestly anything to avoid confrontation from your dad.
Sunwoo’s ass is still seated on the bed and it’s racking up your brain why he isn’t up because it’s quite impolite, especially with this situation. He looks like he’s sweating bullets the way he’s concentrating at the floor ahead of him.
“Look y/n and…”
Your dad looks at Sunwoo, and you figure he’s prodding for a name, “uh Sunwoo” you say urgently and quickly cut your eyes to your dad, looking away just as fast when he looks back.
“Ok..Sunwoo, whatever you two were doing, I- uh, it’s none of my business, it’s just…” His eyes dart to you then travels to your neck finding that distinctive mark then Sunwoo then back to your eyes, “just don’t do it when we’re home”
“Ok”
“Yes sir” Sunwoo finally says something.
“Ok well I’m gonna be outside..…finding something to do and leave you guys…..yea, it was nice to meet you Sunwoo, albeit under undesired circumstances but yeah” he raises his hand for Sunwoo to shake.
But Sunwoo’s still seated, Sunwoo what are you doing get your ass-
“uh-uhmm” you hear Sunwoo stammer and he looks to you for help hoping you get the signal, but you’re not quick enough, he looks back at your dad a bit nervous, “sir i think- i think it’s best if I don’t get up right now”
Oh for fucks sake, you turn around in disbelief mixed with fear, puffing out a breath, running your hand through your hair wishing you could crawl into a hole and wither.
“oh….right” your dad takes his hand back down to his pants, “ok well then i’ll be-” he points over his shoulder, “..yea”
You don’t turn back until you no longer hear his footsteps anymore. Once it’s quiet you turn around and click your door locked, turning to Sunwoo.
“a little heads up would have been nice”
“Oh…..well there’s definitely not a problem with that” he ends with a hesitant chuckle.
You give Sunwoo an angry glare, grabbing a pillow to hit him, “you just hadd to be a horny lil shit didn’t you?”
“Ow ow ow ok ok im sorry im sorry” He circles his arms around your waist pulling you down.
“he’s probably ordering a hit after you as we speak, so nice knowing you babe”
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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You look hideous on me
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❥ Bad boy Sunwoo x reader, 15.6k | AO3 ❥ Soulmates AU, college AU, fluff, some humour ❥ Warnings: mentions of bruises, swearing, references to mature subjects, a... pretty suggestive scene towards the end
❥ Is he a bad boy because he's bad at everything...? You had simply rolled your eyes when he'd zoomed by on his skateboard, trying to show off. You'd found it hilarious when he ended up falling face first into a fruit stand. But it's not so funny anymore when the bruises start to show up on your body right after.
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"Hey, Juyeon, do you think it could be this guy?" You nudge your friend, turning your laptop screen so he could see from where he sat on the floor beside your bed. "That guy right there—Sangyeon. Do you see that bruise on his upper arm?"
When you roll up your sleeve to show him, there's a similar splash of blue on your arm that gives you a pang of hope that you'd finally found the one. You almost prayed to the OTP gods to please let this Sangyeon guy be your soulmate because he was good looking and broad and—if he were actually your soulmate, one look at his handsome face might just erase all the hate you'd been harbouring all these years.
Hatred towards your soulmate.
"It does look similar," Juyeon says slowly before leaning towards the laptop screen until his face is almost touching it. "It looks like he also has one on his collar though; do you have that one as well?"
You heave a sigh. "No."
It's another day that yields no results on the soulmate front, which shouldn't be surprising at this point, but it's a growing frustration that the continuous stream of bruises on your body left no clue as to where your soulmate could be.
Boxing has never been an interest of yours but ever since the bruises started appearing, Juyeon had suggested that your soulmate might be a boxer. It had been a joke at first but seeing as the bruises never stopped as you waited year after year to find this soulmate, your last resort was to try and look for them anywhere you could. It led you to watch boxing matches quite regularly, but the boxers' bruising patterns never quite matched yours, and the timing of your bruises didn't quite match theirs.
Soulmate—the one person in the world that shared your bruises, whose body displayed all the blues and purples of your pain like watercolour on a canvas. The concept sounded beautiful, and sometimes you could indeed see the beauty in Juyeon and Hyunjae's shared glances as congruent spots bloomed across their skin simultaneously. You saw it in the way every mark told a story, how each one was a reminder that there is someone to share your pain and that they are never too far away.
But as nice as the idea of a soulmate sounded in theory, you didn't know how to feel about the fact that your soulmate was out there getting their body battered. Were they playing a sport that involved frequent injuries? Were they actually a boxer or maybe even a stunt actor? Were they super clumsy? Or were they just—you definitely did not want to imagine the other scenarios that could possibly lead to such frequent bruising, especially when certain locations of the bruises shared a little too much about this annoying soulmate's actions.
The point was, you didn't understand how someone who was constantly getting their body bruised like that would possibly be compatible with you, an innocent student just trying to graduate from college and get a job. Though at this rate you might as well become a professional makeup artist with the amount of makeup you were wearing on a daily basis just to cover all the bruises. All that just made you more determined to find this hell of a soulmate and maybe give them a punch of your own.
"Hang in there," Juyeon says gently, pulling you out of your thoughts. "You'll find them soon."
"What did I miss?" Hyunjae comes into you room with his face entirely blocked by the bags of snacks he was carrying in his arms. He settles in between you and Juyeon, perched comfortably on the edge of your bed as he starts munching on chips. "No progress again today?"
"I thought that it might be this Sangyeon guy." You point at the screen where the boxer is walking by after a match that he won. It really would've been a good day to have him as a soulmate. "But now I'm even angrier at my soulmate for not being him."
"Oh, he's hot," Hyunjae nods. "But why, did you fantasize about having him as your soulmate or something?"
"Shut up. Not all of us are lucky enough to have hot soulmates, you know."
"Yes, please don't remind us that you once liked my hot soulmate." Hyunjae puts an arm around Juyeon possessively and you have to resist the urge to smack him.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."
"But wait. Is that a new bruise?" He manages to poke your cheek before you swat his hand away and give him a glare.
It's your right cheek today instead of the usual left, but the timing isn't unusual for the bruises to start showing up. You sigh again, grabbing your phone to check in the camera, and just as he pointed out, the hints of blue-green hues are starting to make their way across your skin.
"It's okay," he says nonchalantly, "look on the bright side, at least it's not at a weird location."
"Um." You did not want to discuss weird locations. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know. Like your neck or stomach. Or thighs." Hyunjae pauses for a second as a teasing expression slowly spreads across his face. "Though I guess if they were on your thighs you wouldn't exactly be telling us about them or showing us."
"Hyunjae!" Juyeon elbows him for you. At least one of the soulmate duo has some sense.
You don't say anything in response as you grab another chip, pretending as if your privacy—or was it your soulmate's?—hadn't just been violated by your supposed best friend. You did not want to be picturing your soulmate doing questionable things with other people.
"Wait... don't tell me you've actually gotten them there before. Y/N!"
You push him off the bed.
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The morning flies by in a rush of insistent knocks on your door by the soulmate duo, running around your room to pack your bag for class, and then completely forgetting about putting on your safety net of a cake face to potentially cover up the evidence of your soulmate's injuries. Maybe that should've been your warning sign to skip class entirely today, but the soulmate duo reassures you that everything would be just fine. Hyunjae states that the chance of your soulmate getting beat up at this early morning hour was low, and on the other hand, Juyeon says you look perfectly gorgeous without makeup.
While you appreciate their efforts, you know they don't quite understand your reasoning for covering up the marks you get. You've seen the way they wear their bruises proudly, as a sign that their soulmate exists and as a statement of that bond just like a promise ring. That's naturally what happens when they've known each other since elementary school, where a fall on the playground resulted in a matching bruise on a classmate.
One day, if you ever find your soulmate, you wished to be able to boldly show off each and every mark too. But for now, you hated even the thought of possibly wearing your soulmate's ugly black eye like it's a fashion statement.
Campus is calm and quiet so early in the morning, a nice change from the bustle of crowds you usually see on the way to your afternoon classes. Clubs are just beginning to set up their tents for the club fair, including the pop-up farmer's market that comes to your school every month. In the distance, you could already see the bushels of various fresh fruits and vegetables set up on the stands, and there's a small bakery section at the very end filled with what looked like pastries and coffee shop drinks.
"Are we too late to even stop for coffee?" you groan, already imagining the suffering you'd be doing in lecture when the professor's monotone voice lulls you to sleep.
"Unfortunately." Juyeon gives a wry smile.
Hyunjae shakes his head at you. "You should've slept earlier."
"I had so much work to do for tutoring," you whine. "Anyways, coffee run after class please. Hyunjae, you owe me."
But just before you could hear his snarky retort, there's a roar of wheels against the sidewalk followed by a loud gust of wind.
Only a few inches away from you, so close that you could smell his cologne as he winks at you with a smirk on his face. A skateboarder, his dark hoodie and beanie blurring together as he zooms by. It nearly makes you fall despite how he didn't actually bump into you.
"What the—"
"You okay?" Juyeon grasps you just in time.
"Yeah, thanks." You quickly get back on your feet and subconsciously brush the shoulder that the skateboarder nearly touched. "But wow, how rude. You're not the only one who's late, asshole."
"Look at the way he's showing off now," Hyunjae snorts and when you follow his gaze, you could see the skateboarder continuing to weave his way through the students on the sidewalk, occasionally doing those jump tricks off the curb. The rumble of wheels on concrete fades as he gets farther away, but you don't miss the way he makes a few other students nearly fall as they scrambled to move out of his way.
"Must think he's so cool—" you start. And then stop. Because right then, karma literally manifests and catches up to said skateboarder faster than the blink of an eye. Maybe there was a rock on the sidewalk or some sort of ledge in between the cracks because the next thing you know, the guy is sent flying off the skateboard. It makes him tumble quite a distance, and what's absolutely hilarious is the way he lands. Right in the fruit stand that the farmer's market had set up.
Face first, straight into a bushel of apples.
"Ouch, that's got to hurt," Hyunjae says. It only takes one glance at him for the two of you to burst out laughing.
"Is he a bad boy because... he's bad at everything?" you say amidst the giggles.
"But did you see the look on his face?" Hyunjae holds onto your shoulder as he doubles over in laughter, only coming up when there are tears at the corners of his eyes. "Oh wait, only the apples could've seen that!"
The skateboarder slowly gets up as the people at the farmer's market gather to watch, their expressions equally divided between sympathy and amusement. You don't feel bad about laughing at all. Besides, this was totally karma for giving you and everyone else such a scare on the skateboard earlier. Especially that wink at you; who does he think he is?
Juyeon shakes his head. "Well, it's a terrible day to be his soulmate. Imagine waking up to that giant bruise on your face."
"It's probably a terrible day to be his soulmate every day," Hyunjae cackles again.
The fall of the skater boy causes the three of you to be late, though it was worth it. By the time you finally make it to class, the professor was already droning on about something on the next assignment, so you sneak in quietly and sit at the back while he's not looking.
"Maybe going to morning classes isn't such a bad idea when you can see stuff like this happen," Hyunjae whispers as he settles into his seat. The grin is still there, with teeth and all which was a rare occurrence.
"Are you suddenly awake now?" you whisper back.
He pulls out a notebook and writes the date, giving you a thumbs up enthusiastically. "Awake and ready to take on the day." It's not the correct date but you don't bother telling him.
When he turns to you again, he freezes. There's a look of confusion on his face that tells you he might've realized that the date he wrote was wrong or that he might've forgotten something important. But it soon turns into realization and then horror in under a second as he simply stares at you.
"What is it?"
Hyunjae's expression changes again and this time his lips curl into a mischievous smirk that could only mean he's up to no good.
"Nothing. Nothing at all. It's just that," he leans over to whisper in your ear, "you happen to be developing a nasty bruise right on your face."
Maybe you die a little inside.
Suddenly the idea of falling face first into a bushel of apples doesn't sound so funny anymore.
Hyunjae teases you about your supposed soulmate for the rest of the day. It's not surprising, really—he still teases you about your former crush on his soulmate after all, even though it's been years since freshman year of high school. And although you assure him that there's no way the skater boy is your soulmate, that it had to be a coincidence, you could still see the curl of his lip whenever he looks your way.
You're sure he would've dragged you over to wherever this rude skater boy was, determined to put an end to this mystery while getting a new reason to tease you. But he didn't have to. Because when you go back to the farmer's market tent after class for some fresh coffee and baked goods, the rude skater boy is there.
Only this time, he's not on a skateboard, nor is he falling into the fruit stands. This time, he's working there.
A blue vest covers his black hoodie with an obnoxious looking name tag that says "Sunwoo" when you get close enough to read it. There's a collection of colourful stickers on his cheek that conceal an area matching the one you'd smeared with emergency makeup on your own face, and his beanie is pulled low as if trying to cover as much of his face as possible.
A coincidence, you tell yourself. Besides, your actual soulmate had also given you bruises on the upper arm and lower shin yesterday, and you're sure this skater boy wouldn't have those.
"Y/N, where are you going?" Hyunjae singsongs like he's enjoying your misery. "Weren't we going to get coffee?"
"Um, let's go visit Younghoon instead?"
But he comes up to your group before you could effectively escape.
"Hey. Welcome to," the skater boy pauses, glancing back at the sign, "the farmer's market. Can I help you with anything?"
"Holy shit, he's actually working here," Hyunjae whispers to you so loudly that you're sure this Sunwoo guy could hear what he said. "How did that happen?"
The rude skateboarder scowls at the three of you, looking very disinterested. "They wanted someone hot to be the new face of their organization. Obviously."
"Couldn't have been a very nice face with that giant bruise on it," you whisper back to Hyunjae, just as loudly.
Although that's what you say, you can't help but notice that it was actually quite a nice face—plump lips, big eyes, and a sharp jawline that could cut someone. He was good-looking and he definitely knew it, perhaps a little too well because who brags about that to complete strangers? Why were all the good-looking ones like this?
"Ah, that's where I remember you guys from." The skater boy nods in Hyunjae's direction, "Definitely couldn't forget the pretty boy."
"Juyeon, are you hearing this?" You sigh, crossing your arms. "Can we g—"
"Oh, he's matched?" The Sunwoo guy raises a brow and then glances at Juyeon. Looks him up and down. "To quite the looker too, wow. Guess it's true what they say about hot people having hot soulmates."
"Bet your soulmate can't look too nice with all the bruises they get," you retort.
The skater boy sighs. "You really got to witness that moment, huh." He picks up a few of the fruits on the counter and sorts them in the baskets on the shelf. "Damn, really should've taken the motorcycle instead. But you see, I'm actually not that terrible at skateboarding. It only happened because I got so distracted by your beauty," he nods your way. "I guess you could say... I fell for you." And then there's the wink that you definitely saw coming—it's already his second wink at you and you've only been in his presence for a total of a minute.
"Are you kidding me? You nearly ran me over on your skateboard and you have the audacity to say stuff like this?"
You raise your hand jokingly as if to punch him, but then Juyeon's holding you back and shaking his head. "Hitting him won't do you any good, Y/N. Just in case he's... you know."
"Nah, we don't have to worry about that because there's no way he's my soulmate."
"Soulmate?" Sunwoo asks, eyes bouncing between you and the two others.
Hyunjae nudges you lightly, lips curling in amusement. "We're only stopping you from inflicting visible damage, but there are always other options. For example, bruises on legs are much easier to hide."
"Hmm, you're right. A kick should do it—"
Of course you weren't actually going to kick him. But even before you could finish your sentence, the rude skater boy is already turning his body away, dodging you while holding his hands out to protect himself.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I was just kidding," he pleads, running back behind the pop-up tent for protection. "But please don't; I just got a bruise there."
Juyeon tilts his head, brows furrowing. "Hey, Y/N. Maybe you're right that he's not your soulmate after all, since he has bruises that you don't have."
Yeah, thank goodness, you wanted to say. But you could only stare back at your friend in silence. Time seems to slow down.
Because when you lift your pantleg the slightest, it reveals the new bruise that you had noticed this morning. The same splash of aqua on your lower shin that has now deepened in colour and covers a little more area than before.
"Oh."
You feel like you're going to throw up.
In front of you, Sunwoo looks like he's about to faint.
Most people may not be lucky enough to have a nice meet-cute with their soulmate, but it felt like yours was more of a meet-ugly... literally.
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No one talks about it this time, which you're very thankful for. But instead of the jokes and teasing that you expected to hear, there's a very obvious silence about anything to do with soulmates, as if Hyunjae and Juyeon were walking on eggshells when it came to the topic. It makes the whole situation feel too real when you were just trying to avoid thinking about it, and so, maybe the awkwardness wasn't better than their teasing after all.
Heading to the tutoring center after a study session with the soulmate duo has you walking by an area you don't normally pass by, and even from afar you could see just who hung out here. Their table stood out against the grassy fields and students scattered around, a monochromatic speck of dark hoodies and leather jackets amongst a sea of colour. You don't look too closely at the faces around the table, but it fit Sunwoo's image so well that it would've been a little surprising if he wasn't there.
And sure enough, he is there. You notice the girl sitting beside him first, so obviously flirting with the way she bends over as she laughs at something he says, her long hair falling over his shoulder. The way she clings to his arm and presses her whole body against him, and the way she hits him cutely. It's almost funny how she manages to get him right on the bruise on his arm, one that only you knew about. And only you could see the way he holds back a wince. But in the next moment, he looks up and suddenly his eyes are meeting yours.
Sunwoo blinks a couple of times before a knowing smirk appears on his lips. For a moment, he smiles back at the girl beside him; there's a twinkle in his eyes as if he's purposely turning up the charm, an abrupt change from the indifference that you'd seen just seconds earlier. She beams, nodding enthusiastically at everything he says. But to your surprise, she soon leaves their table looking the slightest bit disappointed.
And then he leaves the table to catch up to you.
"Hey, soulmate," he says. The smile on his face looks the same as when he smiled at her with the artificial sparkle in his eyes and all, and you want to hurl at how fake it is. Then there's how gross the word 'soulmate' sounds coming out of his mouth like it's just a joke to him, like he's rubbing this terrible situation in your face and laughing about it.
Typical fuckboy behaviour.
You speed up your steps a bit to shake him off. "Bye."
"Hey, wait up!"
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" you ask, still refusing to look at him or slow down your steps. "Like, with one of your girlfriends?"
"Aw, are you jealous? Don't worry, I'd rather be hanging out with you, soulmate."
You don't react to that, letting the silence fill the air between the two of you as he matches your quick stride without missing a beat. It feels strange to be walking beside him, like there are more eyes trained on you today as they pass by, more turning of heads.
"So how've you been? I haven't seen you around in a while."
"I was doing well until now," you say dully.
"Aren't you happy to see me?" he teases.
"In your dreams."
"I do hope you'd visit me in my dreams tonight, soulmate."
"So are you just going to keep following me?" you finally turn to ask when you're halfway across campus and he's showing no signs of leaving.
Sunwoo shakes his head. "Nah, I'm going that way too."
"If you say so."
The conversation, if you could even call it that, continues the same way the whole time he's by your side and it reminds you why it was so difficult to talk to him in the first place. The brief curiosity you had after your last meeting with him quickly fade, replacing itself with the original anger and annoyance you had towards him instead.
He tells you about some party happening this weekend (you tell him to take one of his girlfriends), then he invites you to go for a spin on his motorcycle (you tell him you don't trust him, especially not after that skateboard fall), and finally he asks for your number (you say it's the number of the local animal shelter because they take strays, not you).
The most you give him is your name, so that he might stop calling you by the S-word that you've come to hate so much. Though now you're not so sure if the S-word is soulmate, Sunwoo, or skater boy.
And then you finally arrive at your destination.
"Waitwaitwait." Sunwoo's eyes widen with realization once your steps finally stop, nearly walking right into the door of the tutoring center. Unfortunately, he stops in time. He looks at the sign on the door and blinks multiple times. "This is where you're going?"
It takes all your effort to hold back your laugh. "Yeah. Didn't you say you were going this way too?"
"Um. Right, yeah. Let's go."
To your surprise, he actually enters the room first.
"Hey," Jacob—the head tutor and administrator—greets as the two of you enter. He turns to Sunwoo, "Are you here to get tutored?"
"Um, I guess?"
"Alright." Jacob goes to grab the clipboard with the list of the tutors. "I'll see who's available today."
Sunwoo's eyes widen a considerable amount. "Wait, can't I be paired with Y/N?"
"Y/N is already paired with—"
"Hey, Y/N." As if on cue, Younghoon shows up. He takes a seat in his usual spot as if Sunwoo hadn't been standing right there, then sets a coffee cup on your desk. "I made you your favourite today."
"Aw, thanks Younghoon." You pop the lid off to take a look, and just as you expected, the usual heart design is floating at the top. "Wow, as pretty as always."
Sunwoo scoffs. "Younghoon? Why the fuck are you here?"
"Well look who it is." Younghoon glances at him up and down. Smiles a bit. "I told you about this long ago, but you just said it was for losers."
"When did I say that?" Sunwoo mutters under his breath, the frown on his face growing. "But how do you even know Y/N?"
"We were paired for a project in bio last term," you answer, finally sitting down beside Younghoon.
"Oh, was it the project?" There's a teasing smile on Younghoon's lips when he looks at you. "Didn't we meet at the coffee shop when you spilled your drink all over me?"
"I—wait that was you?" you ask, the embarrassment threatening to show on your cheeks at any moment. While you do recall having spilled a drink on a cute barista the first time at that new cafe on campus, you never made the connection that that cute barista had been him. "And you still remember that?"
Younghoon chuckles. "How could I forget? It's not every day when a customer spills a drink on the barista."
"Ugh, don't remind me; that was so embarrassing."
Sunwoo visibly stiffens. The frown on his face deepens with every second that goes by, turning into a permanent scowl as you continue to chat away with Younghoon while ignoring him. It makes for such an unbearably funny sight that you have to bite down on your lip several times to stop from bursting into laughs, and Younghoon wasn't doing much better.
"Yeah... so anyway, I'll be your tutor today," Jacob says brightly, pulling Sunwoo away from where he'd planted himself at your desk. Part of you felt guilty because Jacob probably has no idea what he was getting himself into, but one look at the betrayed expression on Sunwoo's face says it's all worth it.
The session goes well but the highlight was definitely seeing the skater boy's fuming expression every time you look at him.
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"You should've called me!" Hyunjae pouts, waving around his phone in your face. "I would've walked right out of that group meeting and run across campus just to see the look on his face."
"You can come with me today," you joke. "Maybe he'll show up."
Getting the soulmate duo caught up on the latest skater boy story had Hyunjae laughing so hard within your first few sentences that the three of you get kicked out of the library—not that it was the first time something like that has happened. So you'd relocated to the courtyard and then told them about the way Sunwoo fumed at Younghoon and then scowled at you for a whole hour after getting ambushed by that tutoring session.
Talking about him makes you realize that maybe you didn't hate him. He'd become somewhat akin to the popular boys back in high school; someone who always annoyed the girls and never did their work. Someone you'd never fall for, of course, but someone who made life a little more interesting. Besides, he was just playing around, and you never saw him as a soulmate anyway.
Juyeon wiggles his eyebrows. "Was he jealous of Younghoon or something?"
"Nah, he's just mad he didn't get a chance to make me fall for him like everyone else does," you mutter. "He's just playing."
"Wait, look here." Hyunjae suddenly reaches over to gently cups your chin, turning your face towards him and then proceeds to observe closely at various angles. "Y/N... I think your boy has gotten himself into another altercation."
It's nothing new, but there's still a sinking feeling in your heart. You had been beginning to think that maybe you had some kind of positive influence on Sunwoo since no significant bruises had appeared after meeting him. That maybe simply knowing who and where his soulmate is would make him back off from the reckless behaviour a bit, for your sake.
But as the beginnings of purples appear on your face and knuckles with no signs of stopping, it seemed like all that had just been wishful thinking. Why did you have so much faith in him in the first place? Why did you think that meeting your soulmate would be so impactful on both of your lives?
In the end, he's still the same person that he's always been. Maybe you'd just have to consider it as his payback for being roped into a tutoring session.
You heave a sigh. "Okay, I guess I'll get going now since I need to look presentable and all. Jacob would freak out if I showed up like this."
"If skater boy goes today, try not to kill him, okay?" Juyeon gives you a sad smile and ruffles your hair.
"I see no reason not to," you groan. Then point at your own face, "How can people like him when he goes around looking like this?"
"Hey Y/N, we're only trying to save your own image here." Hyunjae glances at you up and down, pressing his lips together as he shakes his head. "Bruises or not, I don't think you can afford to be any uglier."
"And this is why I hate you." Getting up, you quickly sling your bag over your shoulder. Juyeon gets a soft pat on the head while you make sure to give Hyunjae the hardest flick you can muster. "Bye loser."
"Shut up; you love me."
What surprises you first when you get to the tutoring center is the worried look on Jacob's face. His eyes flicker to you the moment you step into the room, and then every few seconds as he organizes the files on his desk.
"What?" you finally ask. "Is there something on my face?"
An ironic question because yes, there are bruises are your face today. Though you made sure they were covered nicely with the emergency makeup you always carry with you.
"No." He hesitates only for a moment before walking over to you. "Y/N, that guy from last time..."
"Sunwoo?"
"Yeah him," Jacob nods slowly. "Um, if he's bothering you or anything like that. Just let me know? We can get him kicked out or banned from here."
You nearly choke on your own spit. "Is that what it looked like?"
"Well, he spent the entire session looking like he wanted to murder you—or maybe it was directed at Younghoon; I'm not sure—so um, yeah."
"Nah, Jake. He's—" my soulmate, you were about to say. But something about acknowledging it makes your stomach twist. "He's just someone I know. Who probably needs better grades." You shoot him a quick smile. "Thank you for worrying about me though."
You half expected Sunwoo to not show up since he got baited into the last session after all, but for some reason, you find yourself constantly glancing over at the door. And for some reason, he does show up.
There's a relaxed smirk on his face this time—a complete change from the startled then bitter looks of the last time. Though not much of his face is visible underneath a baseball cap and the hood of yet another black hoodie over it.
And then you realize why.
There are splotches of colour around his eye and trailing down his cheek until his jaw; the same ones that you worked so hard to cover up just minutes earlier. There are a few small bandages around his fingers, and his knuckles are red with fresh wounds.
"Hey soulmate." Sunwoo casually sets his bag down on your desk and grabs a nearby chair, setting it down right beside yours. "How've you been? Where's my hug?"
"Not in this nation," you say dryly. You open your notes slowly, refusing to look at him despite the way he peers at you.
"Oh? Then which?"
"Your imagination."
Sunwoo laughs loudly as if you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "You're funny, soulmate. If you keep this up, I'll be falling for you in no time."
"No thanks."
"Y/N, is Younghoon coming today?" Jacob holds up the clipboard, checking off the list of students in the room.
"Um, I'm not sure—"
"He's not coming," Sunwoo answers for you. Then adds quietly, "You're stuck with me, soulmate."
You ignore the last part. "Did Younghoon tell you that?" Their interaction had been quite strange last time but you're sure they knew each other somehow. The way they talked made them sound like friends, though rivals could also be a fitting description.
An easy shrug. "He didn't have to."
"What does that mean?"
"Younghoon won't be coming anymore."
"Did you say something to Younghoon to make him stop coming here?"
The corner of his lip twitches the slightest.
"What, did you threaten him or something?"
"What makes you think I had something to do with him not showing up?" Sunwoo says innocently. He leans back in his seat and there's a faint smirk on his face that makes him look satisfied, contradicting his words. "The last I checked, he seemed to have gotten good enough grades to not need to study with you anymore."
There's something about the lack of a text from Younghoon paired with Sunwoo's relaxed demeanour that doesn't sit right with you. As much as you wanted to believe him, the fresh bruises on his face and hands told of a more complicated story.
You sigh, finally turning to the rude skater boy. "Alright, fine. Why are you here?"
"To see you, soulmate," he drawls lazily. You really hope that Jacob doesn't hear any of this conversation because you would be quite mortified.
"So do you think your grades don't need the help?"
Sunwoo smiles a little. "Okay, I know I'm hot and all but that doesn't mean I'm stupid."
"You think you're hot with all those bruises?" Standing up so suddenly earns you a concerned glance from Jacob. "You know what? Come with me." You take Sunwoo's hand and pull him out of the classroom with you, not once looking back at him.
It's empty in the stairwell when you finally stop and turn to him. Dropping his hand immediately.
"You're cute when you're angry, you know?"
"Just stop."
"I'm only telling the truth," he shrugs.
"Then tell me, how did you get all these?" Your fingers ghost over the patches of deep blues on his face and he flinches. Looks away. "Did you... get into another fight? Perhaps with Younghoon?"
His gaze snaps to your face.
"Why?"
Sunwoo groans, leaning back against the wall behind him. "That fucker is totally into you."
"So?"
"You're my soulmate," he says bluntly, frowning back at you.
"So? What, are you jealous or something?"
"What if I am? What then?"
"I don't buy that," you scoff, crossing your arms. "You've clearly never cared about me at all."
His eyes flash. "What do you mean?"
"Have you even once thought that your actions might affect your soulmate as well? I've always had to wear layers of clothing and makeup to cover up these hideous patches just to look like a normal person. Seriously, how can you think that a fight would solve anything?"
Sunwoo is silent now, gaze back to the ground where he kicks around some dust.
You sigh, turning to leave. "But if you do care, then maybe try getting your life together first. You aren't going to be anyone's soulmate at the rate of which you've been getting those bruises all your life."
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More than a week has passed since that incident with Sunwoo, and you hadn't seen him around at all—not in person nor in the form of bruises. It was as if the words you'd spoken to him had completely vanished him from your life, just as you had wanted. But even though he'd been out of sight, he hasn't been off your mind for a moment because of your growing sense of guilt. You'd spent so much time building up these angry feelings towards your soulmate that it became hard to see from other perspectives, and maybe things were not as straightforward as you thought. Maybe he didn't deserve the harsh words you'd thrown at him, and he didn't deserve to have such negative energy coming from someone who barely even knows him.
Because before being soulmates, you guys were merely strangers.
You spot him the moment he walks in the lecture hall. Face half covered by his hood and bag casually slung over one shoulder, he walks in nonchalantly a minute before the lecture is supposed to start. It isn't until he's at the front of the lecture hall that the chatter in the room dies down, getting noticeably quieter. The way his eyes scan the crowd slowly makes you shrink into your seat a little, and you keep your head low just in case. But it's no use.
The hush in the room turns into whispers echoing off the walls when he slowly walks up the steps, but he doesn't seem to pay them any attention when his gaze is fixed on you. A casual stare, without intensity. Somehow, it still makes your stomach twist.
And just as you'd been dreading but expecting, he stops right in front of you and sits in the seat beside you.
"What are you doing?" you hiss at him in a low a voice as you could muster.
He gives you a confused frown. "I'm coming to class?"
In the background, your name was already being thrown around amidst the whispers just like that day he walked beside you across campus. You could only imagine what the rumours about you would look like—would you be known as Sunwoo's new fling? Someone that others would be jealous of? A new tally on his body count?
You sigh and rephrase the question. "Why are you sitting here?"
"It was an empty seat."
"Are you even enrolled in this class? I've never seen you here before."
He raises an eyebrow. "Oh, so were you looking for me?"
You roll your eyes, ignoring the urge to facepalm. The feelings of guilt you'd had earlier completely disappear with his reminder of why you'd snapped at him in the first place. What was the point of talking to him when every response was either a joke or straight up flirty? "Yeah, you wish you were that important."
"I figured it'd be easier for you to see me here instead of looking for me at the tutoring center."
"I—hey! I was not looking for you."
Sunwoo doesn't reply but a small smile appears on his face, the first genuine smile that you've seen from him in the couple of weeks since you've known about his existence. There's none of the fake charm and rough persona that he tried to project before; all of a sudden the harsh lines and black and whites of his image blur and soften, melting into an image of a soulmate that almost makes you forget to breathe for a second.
Maybe he was too distracting for his next words are so soft that they have you second guessing if you heard correctly.
"Y/N, I'm just kidding. I've actually decided to stop skipping class from now on. I'm going to get my shit together and do better."
"What?"
There's a playful twinkle in his eye. "I'm going to be so perfect after this that you will have no choice but to fall for me."
Soon class starts and Sunwoo doesn't say anything to you for the rest of the lecture, diligently taking notes in his messy scrawl across pages. Sometimes you can feel his eyes on you, glancing over briefly from beneath the edge of his hood and turning away just before you could ever catch him staring.
You're not sure if he would've said something to you after lecture ends, but you don't give him the chance to as you quickly leave to meet your friends at the library.
Though when you get to the library, Hyunjae and Juyeon are among those people who turn and gawk at you as you enter.
"Are the rumors true? Did he actually show up to class and even sit beside you?" Hyunjae whispers with the excitement in his voice and eyes filling to the brim. "Did he say anything?"
Oh. So that's what it was about.
Juyeon's eyes gleam with just as much anticipation, leaning forward to hear everything you'd say. "Is he even in your major? I've never heard you mention him before."
You sigh. "Yeah."
"To all of the above?" Hyunjae's jaw drops. "Details, Y/N. Give us the details."
Turns out it was Eric, a loud guy in your class, who told his friend Changmin, who then told Hyunjae about it. With pictures too! Not that they were good quality photos, but even from the pixelated images you could tell that sitting beside Sunwoo slouching in his hoodie with the hood up makes you look much uglier in comparison. Great, not only is he making you look hideous with the bruises, but now he's also making you look ugly just by being beside you.
At this rate, Eric and Changmin have probably told everyone about today's events, but it didn't really matter to you since sooner or later they'll all find out about you guys being matched anyway.
"So." Hyunjae furrows his brows, a puzzled look ghosting across his face after hearing about all the events that had happened between you and the rude skater boy. Which wasn't much, really, despite how the shifting of his face through all these different micro-expressions may have suggested. "He's really trying for this, huh?"
"What do you mean?" you counter. "That's exactly what fuckboys do. Duh?"
But your sarcastic remark is not met with one of Hyunjae's usual joking responses. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all and there's a brief pause as the soulmate duo exchange a look, making you very aware that you're the third wheel. For once, you can't tell what they're thinking. What was the big deal about the story you told? Surely, they couldn't be thinking that the skater boy was genuinely interested in you, because that's simply ridiculous.
Hyunjae waves dismissively and then his usual, easy smile is back on his lips. "You're right. Never mind. So," he leans in super close until you could count the number of eyelashes he has—which are very long and make you all the more envious—and then peers into your eyes, "are his tactics working?"
"Are you kidding me?" You push his face away and finally open the textbook sitting on the table. The one that you were supposed to be studying from this past hour. "I refuse to be swayed by a fuckboy. Even if he is my soulmate."
"Sometimes even fuckboys catch feelings," Juyeon says, shrugging before turning to his notes.
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If you'd thought Sunwoo's tactics would've just ended with him actually attending class and sitting beside you in it, you were entirely wrong. Somehow your days quickly become filled with his teasing 'hey soulmate' at every turn from where he waits outside your dorm to walk to you to class, to when he monopolizes your time at the tutoring center. It's a mystery how he even figured out which dorm you lived in—Juyeon had shrugged innocently while Hyunjae had simply laughed and said that Sunwoo follows you around like how you followed Juyeon around all those years ago.
You're definitely glad the soulmate duo stay away whenever he's around though; picturing Hyunjae pretending to vomit was all too easy when he wrinkles his nose and pulls Juyeon away every time he spots you with Sunwoo.
"I got you your favourite today," Sunwoo announces as soon as he walks into the tutoring center. There's an air of confidence today despite the way he looks the same as usual in his black hoodie with the hood up. His loud footsteps make Jacob look up alarmingly, though you suspected that the head tutor has gotten used to your annoying student by now. "Just for you, soulmate."
Then he sets down the coffee cup on your desk. A familiar gesture, though just not from him.
"What?" Sunwoo says when notices how you're just staring at the cup in front of you. "It's your favourite latte or whatever." And when you still don't answer, he continues, "You're looking at it as if I poisoned it or something."
You look up. "Did you?"
"Oh please. The worst I could've done is spit in it."
You could only stare at him.
"Hey, spit isn't even that bad—it would just be the same as kissing me, you know." He settles down in his seat beside you and leans back, crossing his arms. "Which you'll be doing eventually anyways."
"How are you so sure about that?" you ask dryly.
"Because you're going to fall for me," he says with certainty, a pleased look on his face. "Very soon."
When you turn your attention back to the cup, the first thing you do is pop off the lid. A habit now, from when you used to check what Younghoon had drawn each time he brought you a drink he made. Though the unexpected leaf floating at the top today makes you realize that he'd mostly been drawing hearts for the past while.
Sunwoo snorts at the frown on your face. "Well obviously I'm not going to let him send you hearts in your drinks anymore. You'd think that with all the hearts you've gotten, you might've noticed his big fat crush on you by now."
"I thought he drew those in everyone's drinks," you mutter, quickly putting the lid back on the cup and filing that information away for another time. "But is that why you decided to get me this?"
"Hey, can't a guy do something nice for you?" He switches to perching on the desk beside you, swinging his legs back and forth. "But I mean. This way you won't need to see him ever again."
You shoot him a glare and he just cackles.
Similar small gestures continue throughout the term. It's as if he took an entire crash course on how to be a gentleman, or the closest he'd ever come to being one anyways. But while his actions say one thing, his lips say another as he constantly throws around the 'have you fallen for me yet,' even upgrading the 'where's my hug?' to 'where's my kiss?'
And the worst part is, you find yourself letting him do all this. You let him take your hand, let him swing your arms as you walk across campus like a typical campus couple. You let him pull you in for the briefest of hugs in front of your residence building before parting ways. You let him send you the good morning and good night texts, even if you don't reply most of the time.
You let him because you knew there should be no risk of falling for him.
"Are you cold?" Sunwoo asks when walks you back to your dorm after class one night.
It's already dark outside and for once you're grateful to have a walking buddy even if he wasn't your first or second choice. Though your first and second options have been ditching you more frequently—even the study sessions in the library with them became few and sparse when Sunwoo happened to be in your major while they were not.
"Nope," you respond, more out of habit than anything. It's a lie; the cool breeze seems to blow right through your clothes with every step, and for once you can't make fun of Sunwoo's fashion since that beanie would at least be keeping him warm.
He laughs. You shoot him a glare.
But in the next moment, he's taking your ice-cold hand between his warm ones. Warming your hand with his breath a little before he laces your fingers with his, and then placing them both in his pocket.
"If you wanted me to hold your hand, you could've just said so," he breaks into a grin, the usual teasing sparkle in his eyes as he gives your hand a squeeze, "soulmate."
"Hey—I did not!"
It might be because your view is obstructed by the wind induced tears, but for a second there seems to be something in his eyes that's a little softer than usual; a slip of brightness between the cracks of the walls he's always had up. If it were from anyone else, you might've said it was a look of fondness.
"Anyway," you quickly change the subject a few moments later, glad to have already arrived at steps of your residence building. "This is me."
Sunwoo nods and pulls your hands out of his pocket but doesn't let go. He shifts slightly so that he's on the step below the one you're standing on, spinning you around so that you're face to face.
It's then when you notice that he's quite tall. Maybe you never realized since you've always been hanging out with the soulmate duo, but now that he's in front of you, the step puts you that much closer to his face. Close enough for you to see his round eyes, his plump lips, and his beautiful sun-kissed skin, no longer hidden under the prominent colours of bruises and swelling.
It's supposed to be annoying—wasn't this was practically the same as Hyunjae always being up in your face, trying to annoy you? You're supposed to push him away, roll your eyes, laugh it off.
But for some reason, you can't. His gaze seems to pin you to the spot, making you unable to do anything except stare at the way his fluffy hair lands near his eyes. It makes you forget everything except for the way he swallows, the way he wets his lips before pressing them together. None of this makes it feel like he's the popular boy at school annoying you anymore.
"You're beautiful," Sunwoo says quietly, breaking the silence. "Can I... have a kiss?"
It's something he always says but this time, it doesn't come out sounding like a joke.
The kiss—it was really meant for his cheek. Something compels you to close the mere centimeters between you, an act that is done all too easily when his face is right there. But as your eyelids flutter shut just as the warmth of his skin was all but against your lips, he moves. Shifts ever so slightly so that the heat of his cheek is actually the heat of his lips. On yours.
You quickly jump back, not giving yourself a chance to find out if they're as supple as they look.
"H-hey!" is all you manage to get out.
The playful smile is back when he gives your hand a squeeze before finally letting go. "Just a little teaser of what we could be doing."
Without another word, he gives you a bit of a wave and leaps down the stairs. Leaving you standing there, wondering if your shivers are because of the wind and if the slight flush on his cheeks was from the cold.
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Sk8ter boi: u up?
You: if this is some kind of booty call then no
You: call one of ur other girls lol
Sk8ter boi: you're the only one for me
Sk8ter boi: soulmateeee <3
Sk8ter boi: come out for a while?
You leave him on read, even putting your phone away and turning off the light. Closing your eyes. But it soon becomes apparent that there's no hope for sleep to come with there's a small nagging in your stomach. It compels you to throw on a jacket and get out of your dorm, the same kind feeling that compelled you to actually kiss him the other day on these very steps.
Though you don't count it as a kiss. It was definitely more like a brush of lips—hardly even touching for longer than a millisecond. Besides, he'd totally tricked you.
He's waiting on the steps in his usual getup, kicking around a rock aimlessly, and it takes you a second to recognize his backside without the hood on.
"Sunwoo, it's so late. What are you doing here?"
He meets your eyes with an easy smile. "Just wanted to see you."
"At this hour?"
"Every hour is missing Y/N hours," he teases, and you come very close to pretending to barf. "How are you? Are you cold?"
"I am not falling for that again." You glance him up and down warily.
"I wanted to show you something." Sunwoo shrugs, taking a few steps down and then beckoning you over. You don't even reach the bottom of the stairs before you realize your hand is back in his.
The 'something' that the skater boy wanted to show you turns out to be an old building on campus, one you've never had class in but one that you've walked through many times during your time here.
"Um, what's so special about this?"
Sunwoo's smile seems to grow at your question, and he simply points up instead of answering. Following his finger leads you to a ladder at the side of the building, going up to the roof. He gently tugs you, and soon enough the two of you are standing at the base of the ladder.
"The roof? You want to go up there?"
He probably catches your wide-eyed stare. "Aw, is Y/N a bit of a scaredy cat?"
"No!"
"Then go ahead," he says, gesturing towards the ladder.
"I just don't know why this is what you called me out for." You give him a glare and finally put a hand on the cool metal. "But if I fall and die, I hope the marks make you so ugly that no one else will like you ever again."
Sunwoo barks a laugh at that. "Don't worry. I'll catch you if you fall." He pauses briefly then adds in a quieter voice, "And I don't need anyone else to like me."
The climb up isn't too bad since the building isn't particularly high, and you don't get a chance to look down. Though your hands still grip each rung of the ladder as tightly as possible.
You had expected a nice view once you reached the top just based on how Sunwoo wanted to come here, but it really wasn't impressive. All you could see were the fields and trees on campus, though there's a gentle breeze in the air that makes it seem a little more thrilling.
"Come sit." He settles down on sort of platform, gazing at you with a sparkle in his eyes.
You can hear the quiet hum of electricity so surely this roof was supposed to be for building maintenance or something? And surely, being here is already breaking some sort of rule on campus? But tonight, maybe you decide to trust him.
"It's not so bad up here, right?" The wind ruffles his hair, and you suddenly realize that you've barely ever seen him without some sort of hat or hood on. He's never shown the world more than just a sliver of his face and you don't understand why because his hair is beautiful. His curls look so soft under the moonlight, and it makes you wonder how they would feel between your fingers. If they're as soft as they look.
"How did you even find out about this place?"
"There was a ladder, so I climbed it," he laughs. "Then I started coming up here whenever I needed to think. It's quite peaceful."
"Can't say there's much of a view though."
Sunwoo gasps dramatically, looking at you with wide eyes. "What? No, the view is amazing. Come here, I'll show you." He waves you over and then leans back until he's lying down, staring up at the sky.
You follow suit and make sure to leave a small distance between the two of you. But instead of your head meeting the rough surface of the platform like you expected, it lands on the softness that's Sunwoo's arm instead. He moves, pulling you in until you're settled in the crook of his shoulder.
"Look, it's the big dipper." With his free hand, he points to the sky just towards your left. "And there's Aries," he points to a patch of sky just above you, "and there's Capricorn."
Looking at the sky where he points reveals nothing except for the dots of light from airplanes in the distance and wisps of cloud. The moon seemed to be the only celestial body in the sky that you could see.
"Um. I'm not sure if you need your eyes checked, but there's actually nothing there," you say, giving up on the lack of a view and turning to him instead.
"Wow, couldn't you have just agreed?" He whines, lips forming a pout. "This is fake star gazing; I point at something that's not there, and you say you see it too. And then we marvel at its beauty."
"Why would you marvel at something that you can't see?"
"Hmm. Maybe you're right." Sunwoo suddenly turns to face you. "Why look at the sky when I could be staring at you?"
"Okay, stop."
"You want to play a game?"
"Yeah? And where is this going?" You definitely did not trust him with this.
"Let's do twenty questions. We'll take turns asking and if you can't answer something, then hmm," he pauses. Hums as he thinks. "Then you owe me a kiss."
"Sure. That's easy."
His eyes widen, "You want to kiss me that bad?"
"No! I meant the questions," you say dully. "And what if you can't answer something?"
"Then I'll give you a kiss, of course," he singsongs. "Hmm, have you ever had liked anyone? Other than me, obviously."
"Who says I like you? But yes, I have," you say bluntly, sputtering with disbelief at why he would start with this. "Why, have you not?"
"Well, yeah. But nothing too serious because I knew it wouldn't work out. Everyone's only interested in finding their soulmates in this world." The last part comes out sounding bitter.
"Yeah, I get it. I had a crush on Juyeon when I first met him, but it was—quite obvious that that wasn't going to work out."
"Juyeon? The pretty boy's soulmate?" he asks with sudden interest.
"Um. Please don't go beat him up?"
Sunwoo simply cackles at your words.
"Seriously, please don't. Hyunjae would kill you, you know."
"You don't think I could take on both of them?"
"Sunwoo!"
"I'm just joking with you," he laughs. "Don't worry. I'm not going to get into any more fights, Y/N. You are going to live bruise-free for the rest of your life."
"I didn't mean—"
"Well, unless you want me to mark you up sometime."
"S-Sunwoo!"
"Alright, next question. Have you ever looked for me?"
"Yeah," you admit. "It was not a fun time."
His eyes are unreadable for the most part when you tell him about the boxing matches, the interest in stunt acting. The days the patches of colour on your skin acted like little puzzle pieces, hints to where your soulmate could be.
It's only after you tell him that you start to think maybe you shouldn't have. Maybe he thinks the whole soulmates thing is stupid. Maybe he thinks you're stupid for believing in it.
"You thought I could've been a boxer?" he chuckles. "That's cute."
You roll your eyes at him. "Well, who thought you'd be some kid getting into fights all the time for no reason."
"So were you disappointed when you met me?"
You open your mouth with a sarcastic reply ready at the tip of your tongue but for some reason it doesn't seem appropriate to say anymore. His voice was still light and casual, but there's a dreading feeling in your heart with the fear that the conversation is really going to go down the slippery slope that you both have been dancing around. One that you both may never come back from.
"Don't worry," he says when the silence stretches a little too long, "you can tell me the truth, you know."
"I guess you already know the answer to that based on what I said to you that time in the stairwell." You focus on the curve of his lips instead of meeting his gaze. "I was disappointed that you turned out to be a popular fuckboy on the verge of failing out of school."
"Hey—give me some credit. I haven't hooked up with anyone since meeting you," he says hotly. "And I'm not on the verge of failing out of school. The popular part is correct though."
"Wow, congrats. You get a gold star for that." The sarcasm drips out of your voice, but he doesn't show any signs of acknowledging it as he laughs. "But Sunwoo, I'm not disappointed. I was surprised and in denial at first, and let's be real, the first few times we met went quite terribly. I don't know, I guess I was too harsh to judge you like that right away."
This time it's his turn to stay silent.
"Wait, that wasn't even supposed to be my turn!" You give him a push.
"Oh, oops." There's a bit of a smile on his face but his wall of indifference was still up. "Okay, you can ask me anything."
You take a deep breath. "Do you even believe in soulmates?"
"Oh," he says slowly, frowning. "No one's ever asked me this before. But to be honest, not really. Or at least I didn't before." Sunwoo pauses and you think that's it for his answer, but to your surprise, he continues. "I guess it's because my parents aren't soulmates, so I thought it was whatever at first, that it didn't matter. But when things started getting bad between them, I kind of just gave up on the idea of love completely."
"Oh."
It wasn't unheard of to spend a lifetime without meeting your soulmate, and marriage between non-soulmate pairs wasn't exactly rare either. It just wasn't something that you'd really thought about, seeing as the people in your life had all found their perfect matches.
He tells you about the happiness of his childhood, the way the concept of soulmates wasn't even introduced to him until he started school. How his parents got strange looks when people noticed their marks didn't match, how he became determined to forget about the whole soulmates thing. He tells you about lashing out at the world, watching love fall apart and then grow together in different ways, hating how the world made the whole soulmates thing seem inevitable. Hating the fact that he had one, and then refusing to believe he did.
"I still think that this whole soulmate thing is bullshit though, in general. People should be allowed to love whoever they want to, and besides, love can bloom anywhere. It shouldn't be just limited to soulmates," he states, brows furrowing. "But the bruises sure are annoying as fuck; I'm sorry I never realized that you'd be suffering through the consequences of my actions."
There's a stillness that lingers in the air as you quickly turn to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill out. This reveal of a more vulnerable side of him has you stunned, not knowing what to say or how to react when he's never let you see this side of him before. It makes the seed of guilt grow: the guilt that you blindly judged him and hated him for a lifetime, that you probably still would if you hadn't had the chance to meet him and get to know him like this.
But now that the first step has been taken down this path, there was no going back. There was something that you had to ask.
You turn back to him. "Does finding your soulmate change anything?"
He seems to hold his breath as he thinks. Face impassive. "I don't know, Y/N. Does it? Do you want it to?"
Thoughts fly at a thousand miles per hour through your mind, each possible answer threatening to throw you off the edge of the cliff you were cautiously teetering on. You'd known that this was going to be a conversation that your undefined relationship would never recover from, but you were not ready for it to hit you like this.
So you grab him and then your lips are meeting his.
He makes a sputtering sound from the back of his throat, definitely not expecting your bold move. But he quickly goes to kiss you back a moment later. You pull away.
"Have you fallen for me yet?" Sunwoo whispers after catching his breath. The casual line he keeps throwing around no longer seems so casual now. As he searches your eyes for an answer, you could see how full blown his pupils are and how dark his gaze has become as it gradually trails down to your lips. Dark with a sparkle from the reflection of the moon, just like the starless sky.
"And what if I have?" you repeat his words from the time in the stairwell. It no longer sounds like a taunt. "What then?"
He doesn't answer but then his mouth slowly curves into a smile.
And then he's kissing you.
His mouth is hot and his lips are everything you imagined with how soft and supple they are, fitting so well against yours. He pulls you closer until there's no space between you, until you can feel his breath hitch, until you find out that his hair really is as soft as it looked. Beneath the smell of his cologne is a faint sweetness that's so distinctly him that it's like you're breathing in Sunwoo Sunwoo Sunwoo. And—you didn't know that it could feel like this. You didn't know that kissing someone could be so overwhelming that it makes the world spin and makes your heart feel like it would jump out of your chest. You didn't know his every touch would feel like electricity running through your veins, that the muffled moans he makes would be so addicting.
It was exhilarating. It was scary. Maybe this is what it's like to be with a soulmate. Maybe this is what it's like to be in love.
In love.
Wait—
You break the kiss and pull away from him. Gasping to catch your breath as everything rushes to you all at once.
Sunwoo gives you a bit of a questioning look before the wall of indifference is sliding back into place. There's a gentle smile, not the kind he showed the world but not the ones he'd secretly shown you either. It doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"We should probably get going," he murmurs, sitting up and reaching for your hand. "It's late and you have morning class."
It's only when you're back in your dorm that you realize neither of you answered each other's last questions.
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Sunwoo doesn't text you.
He doesn't read your texts either, for that matter; the couple of short messages you sent remain unread and unopened for the next few days. For once, your phone is awfully silent, and it makes you wonder if this is what it felt like to be ghosted by him. If this is what it felt like to be anyone other than his soulmate.
It's like he disappeared from your life as quickly as he'd entered it.
Maybe he finally decided that he's had enough, that he's lost interest in you. And maybe it was a good thing because you didn't know how things could possibly proceed after last night. How could you possibly pretend like there was nothing between you after everything that's happened? How could you possibly endure seeing his flirty facade when you now know he's so much more than that?
There's only silence in replace of the comforting presence to walk to you class, and an empty seat next to you in your shared lecture. The stares and whispers are back this time, and even Eric sends you a questioning glance to which you respond with a shrug.
Jacob gives you worried looks throughout your time at the tutoring center when Sunwoo doesn't show up, though he never outright asks. Which you're grateful for, because you're not quite sure how it would feel to acknowledge the problem that's been eating away at you.
Because when you think about it, you hadn't even realized just how much of your life Sunwoo had taken up—all of your waking moments had consisted of him trying to worm his way into your heart. How he was constantly being up in your face, throwing around cheesy lines and the ever so casual 'soulmate'. There were the small gestures like getting you coffee, walking you up to your door, heck, even the fake stargazing. Holding your hand, warming it up. Lips fitting so well against yours. The genuine smiles he'd shown you, different from the fake ones he'd plaster on for the rest of the world. And then there was the seemingly daily check-in of have you fallen for me yet?
And—oh.
You'd fallen for him.
He did it. He won. He got you to fall for him just as he wanted, just like he'd joked about every day.
And your heart sinks at the realization.
"Okay, spill." Juyeon sits you down at cafeteria after class with a platter of fries in front of you. Comfort food, he'd said, shooing away Hyunjae's hand when he tried to steal one. "What's been bothering you?"
You heave a sigh and then begin with the last time you saw Sunwoo on the rooftop. A night that had started with breaking the rules and mediocre views, ending with deep talks and kissing. You had to admit that it'd been romantic at some point, but had it been a date? Had anything between you two been... anything?
"So you guys kissed?" Hyunjae's eyes fill to the brim with excitement as he leans towards you. "Like, with tongue and all?"
"Okay, ew. Just because you're comfortable sharing things about your sex life does not mean I am." You push his face away just as Juyeon turns into a mess of coughs.
"Sex life?" Hyunjae repeats, entirely ignoring the way his soulmate is now sporting a furious blush. "Who said anything about sex life? Are you saying you had s—"
"Shut up," you quickly cover his mouth for your own sake. And Sunwoo's. And Juyeon's. "That is so not the point of this conversation."
Juyeon clears his throat. "So he hasn't contacted you at all since that night?"
"He has not," you sigh, reluctantly letting go of Hyunjae. "Guess he ghosted like the typical fuckboy? I shouldn't have expected anything from him."
"But it doesn't sound like he's afraid of commitment though," Juyeon says slowly, deep in thought. "He's made the effort to start going to classes and to get to know you."
"Doesn't he do that with everyone he flirts with?" you mutter under your breath.
"But he hasn't," Hyunjae crosses his arms, "flirted with anyone else since meeting you."
"That's a lie; I totally saw him—"
"He's afraid of being rejected by you," Juyeon finally says.
"Wait, what?"
Juyeon nods and even Hyunjae is staring at him with confusion.
"Okay, what do you know that I don't?" Hyunjae blinks at his soulmate, peering at him intensely.
"It was just something Eric said," Juyeon shrugs. "He was mostly making fun of Sunwoo for how much he's changed since meeting you," he nods your way, "but he also said that Sunwoo thought he wouldn't be good enough. Like he was afraid you'd never see him as a soulmate."
"Since when did you become so wise?" Hyunjae says, patting Juyeon on the head. Then his jaw drops when the words sink in. "Wait, you're only telling Y/N this now?"
"Only because Y/N still doesn't believe that lover boy's feelings are genuine," Juyeon huffs, crossing his arms. "The universe was supposed to straighten itself without my interference."
"So much for being confident that I would fall for him."
"But," Hyunjae says deliberately, "didn't you?"
"No—" you start, and then stop.
As if he could see exactly what you had been ruminating about for the past few days, Hyunjae's jaw drops even lower than the previous time. "Oh my god."
"Okay, fine!" you confess only because he already saw right through you. "But it's not a good thing."
"You had no qualms with falling for someone who's not your soulmate but now you're worried about falling for your actual soulmate?" Hyunjae raises an eyebrow and then cocks his head over at Juyeon.
"Ugh, you're never going to let me live, are you?" You stifle a groan from where your face is buried in your hands. It's not usually embarrassing whenever Hyunjae teases you about your former crush on Juyeon, but this comparison makes your cheeks immediately heat up. Maybe because there is some truth to it. "I'm sorry that Juyeon is too hot for you?"
Juyeon laughs while Hyunjae glares at you.
"Not the point," Hyunjae gives a dismissing wave. "It should be easy, Y/N. It should be like falling into place with someone, not falling off a cliff like how you're making it sound."
"It's scary though. With someone who's not your soulmate, you might not care as much because maybe it won't work out anyway. But with your soulmate, this is like the one chance of your lifetime."
"You're right, but you have one who genuinely cares for you. What's the danger in that?" Juyeon asks.
"The danger is that he doesn't even believe in soulmates." You finally take a fry, already cold by now but comforting, nonetheless. And then you think back to that night on the rooftop. What he'd said about soulmates, then what he'd asked you.
I don't know, Y/N. Does it? Do you want it to?
A question you hadn't answered.
"Just make it clear to him how you feel," Juyeon continues when you don't say anything else.
"Easier said than done," you whine. "It's like he completely disappeared. No one knows where he is and he's not answering my texts either."
"Oh that's easy." Hyunjae's lip quirks up, holding your gaze as if distracting you from when he goes to steal a fry. "All you have to do is go talk to Younghoon, and then Sunwoo will suddenly appear to beat him up again."
You don't know whether to laugh or cry at that comment. "Um. I was going to tell you to shut up, but you know what, that's actually hilarious. I'll accept it."
"Why, thank you." Hyunjae smiles. Stuffs the fry in his mouth. "But anyways, don't worry too much about it. Lover boy will be back in no time. Especially when every hour is missing Y/N hours."
"Remind me to never tell you anything ever again," you say, reaching to stuff a handful of fries in his mouth to shut him up. "But I don't even know if that's a good thing though. Him... coming back."
"Why not? Be in love with your soulmate freely, Y/N," Hyunjae gestures dramatically as he chews. "You didn't go through all those years of ugliness for nothing."
"I think I'll go talk to Younghoon and see if he knows anything." You put the platter of fries in front of Juyeon, "Thank you for your help, bestie." Then turn to Hyunjae and knock him on the head, "And just so you know, I still hate you."
"It's okay to admit it, you know. That you loveme."
"Keep us updated, okay?" Juyeon pokes you gently. "Let us know if we can help with anything."
"Yeah, let us know if you need us to beat him up for you. Well, if you don't mind having some extra bruises for a while," Hyunjae says, waving his fists arounds.
"Thanks, but it won't be necessary."
Heading to the cafe has you shivering at the cold wind against your skin; the sun had disappeared with the clouds quickly moving in, darkening the sky with the incoming storm. If Juyeon were right that Sunwoo wasn't ghosting you, then there would have to be another reason for disappearing so suddenly. An unsettling feeling that makes your stomach clench.
Luckily for you, the cafe seems emptier than usual when you head over. Younghoon's there chatting with a co-worker—Kevin, if you could read his nametag properly—and he turns to the door at the sound of the bell.
"Oh, hey Y/N!"
"Hey, Younghoon."
Kevin whispers something to him and then gives you a quick smile before going into the backroom, leaving the two of you alone.
"I'm glad you stopped by, actually. I wanted to apologize for um..." he trails off, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. "Causing you all that trouble. Not knowing about you and Sunwoo."
"Don't worry about it; you already texted me about this." You wave a hand at him dismissingly. "And besides, the important thing is that you're okay. I would've beat up Sunwoo myself if you weren't."
That makes him laugh, though the usual twinkle in his eye isn't there. "We can still be friends, yeah?"
"Yeah, of course." Then you pause, not knowing how to approach the subject. "Actually, that's kind of what I wanted to ask you. Do you know where Sunwoo is?"
Younghoon hesitates. "There were some... people looking for him a while ago. He said he was going out of town to deal with them, but that's about all he told me."
"Some people?"
"He didn't want them to find him here." Younghoon bites his lip. You could tell that he clearly knows more but you're suddenly unsure of whether you wanted to find out at this point. "Y/N, it's probably best if you don't know."
"Oh."
But who would be looking for Sunwoo? Just what kind of people were he involved with? The way Younghoon spoke about it sounded like there would be danger involved; that Sunwoo was being chased by a gang or thugs. That there would be fights, weapons, and maybe even car chases, just like in the movies.
It just confirmed the sad fact that you knew nothing about him. You were completely clueless when it came to what kind of person he was, what his hobbies were, who his friends were. And yet, he knew all those things about you. He knew your schedule, your favourite coffee order, how you met your best friends. In the couple of months that you've known him, he already knew you inside and out.
"Hey, is everything okay?" Younghoon asks, gaze instantly softening at what must be quite a sad looking frown on your face. You barely manage to shrug in response. "Sunwoo might act like an asshole sometimes, but he's not a bad guy. I don't know what he's said to you, but he really does care about you."
"Thanks, Younghoon."
"I'll keep you updated if I hear from him."
When the silence of your room greets you, this time you're scrubbing off the makeup to look for clues. The marks that you once dreaded now became your hope because at least then you'd have some sort of sign. A tiny splash of blue as proof of his existence, a patch of purple to know that he's somewhere close by, that maybe the connection you had with him wasn't a fabrication of your imagination but rather something tangible.
Because maybe you did miss his presence. Because maybe you didn't hate it as much as you once thought you did, and maybe you actually never hated it at all. Maybe you've gotten used to it and maybe the way your heart soars and the way it sinks is the very definition of what it means to be soulmates.
There were no marks. A good sign, you supposed, if this meant he hadn't been getting into fights while he was gone. But something about seeing the clean slate of your skin makes you miss the familiar sight of marks, as if they were a piece of his presence you carried around.
It's already hard to believe you'd once hated them so much.
When your phone finally vibrates, you almost think you're imagining it. That it has to be some figment of your mind that you were projecting too hard.
Sk8ter boi: open the door soulmateeee <3
But when you open the door, he's there. It doesn't even matter how he knew which unit you lived in or how he made it past the front door of the building or why he decided to come. It doesn't matter that he's dripping water onto your floor from his soaked clothes, or that he drops his helmet and jacket by the door.
"Sunwoo?"
"Sorry for taking so long," he says softly as he closes the door behind him. There's a glimpse of a smile but it doesn't match the turmoil in his eyes. "You can see my handsome face all you want now."
"Are you okay? Where did you go?"
"Let's just say there was some unfinished business with some people I knew."
"Did you..." you trail off, not knowing how to ask what was on your mind or whether if you should be prying at all.
He shakes his head and some water droplet fall from his soaked hair. "I'm not going back to that kind of life, Y/N. Had to cut off ties with some people, that's all. Everything's done now. I'm all yours."
You let out a breath of relief that you didn't even realize you'd been holding.
Strands of his hair curl at the ends, and water droplets fall. Then you notice that the white tee he has on is see-through with how soaked it is, and the way it clings onto his body leaves little to imagination.
You slowly force your gaze away. "Oh."
"Were you looking for me?"
"I—yeah," you admit. The sight of him in front of you, alive and well, was enough to wipe away all of the snarky responses you once had in mind and make you finally decide to be real with him. To finally confront your feelings. "Yeah, I was worried about you. I was afraid you'd gotten into an accident or some sort of fight and—"
He shakes his head again, showing you both sides of his arms. Turning his head and pointing at his cheeks. "Not a scratch. See? I know how to resolve things peacefully. I promised you that there would be no more marks, Y/N."
"But Sunwoo, do you mean that? I was afraid you'd left because of what happened that night. That you decided you were done with—this," you gesture vaguely. "Sunwoo... are you just playing with me?"
"What? No." His eyes fill with confusion, and he finally crosses the room. "Y/N, is that what you thought? Is that what it seemed like?" Then he's right in front of you, gently brushing away a tear that you hadn't even realized was on your cheek. "Hey, I'm sorry for taking off like this. I wasn't trying to ghost you, I was just... afraid. Afraid of what you'd say if you answered that last question because I wasn't ready to be rejected by my own soulmate." He takes your hands in his and gives you a sad smile. "I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt, but now, I've come to terms with it. And it's okay because I promised you that I'd get my shit together and I'm going to make it happen."
Then you're burying your face in his chest, arms pulling him closer despite the wet clothing, despite how you thought you hated him all your life. Because somehow, hating him first makes you like him even more now. And somehow, wanting to get rid of him at first makes you want to cling to him tighter now, to hold him closer and let this moment erase your guilt of ever pushing away someone who now seems to fit so well against you.
"You know, you were right to be mad at me for never thinking about you or about how my actions would affect you and the people around me. I hadn't really cared about anything in the world and didn't think about possibly meeting my soulmate in this lifetime. And even after we met, I didn't think anything would change. You were right that I was only interested in fooling around with you—only at first though." He pulls back just slightly, and you could see the honesty in his eyes, steady, unwavering. "But things did change. I usually don't give a shit about people's feelings or opinions, but for some reason, I care about yours. And I find myself wanting to get to know you, to be good enough for you. To not screw up one of the biggest chances in my life."
He caresses your cheek so delicately as if afraid this moment could shatter with a touch too strong.
"Wanting to love you and be loved by you."
If you'd been treading carefully around him before, now you find yourself drowning. Drowning in the warmth of his body against the coolness of his clothes, drowning in the sincerity in his words, in the hope that had begun to bloom in your heart so fast that it aches and yearns.
"Sunwoo, I should've told you that night."
There's a brief flash of fear in his eyes that's quickly replaced with a glimmer of hope that mirrors yours.
"Because I would've told you that I do want this to change everything. I want you to believe that soulmates can exist, and love can be real, and that the possibilities are endless if you're willing to experience it all. And that I do want you, as a soulmate."
He lets out the shaky breath he was holding. "Have you fallen for me?"
And this time when he asks, you're not afraid to answer.
"Yeah, Sunwoo. I have."
Then waves crash and surround you as his lips meet yours, dragging you into the depths and you're sinking, sinking, deeper and deeper. His mouth is hot as he kisses you hungrily, pulling you infinitesimally closer as hands get tangled in your hair and in his tee. Sunwoo's breath hitches when you press your palms against the bare skin under his shirt and there's heat sparking from everywhere you touch like a live wire. His every touch feels like air, a lifeline always keeping you alive and wanting, craving for more as you drown in his body.
He comes up for air first, pulling back the slightest, breathing hard.
"Sunwoo, you're freezing," you whisper.
"Then warm me up."
This time his lips veer from yours, creating a blaze of fire on your skin as they trail to your jaw, your ear, and down your neck that makes your breaths quicken. His shirt comes off with some effort and the bit that was left to your imagination turns into reality when your fingers trace his sun-kissed skin, following each line of his abs, each dip and curve until he's stifling a moan against your neck.
When there's a pause, his pupils are full blown, cheeks flushed as he searches your eyes. Searching for an answer for not only what would happen next, but for an answer about what would happen to the two of you. What you were and what you would become.
And then Sunwoo's kissing you again. Clothes are flung, teeth clack, and then he's pulling you with him until there are silky sheets and the heat of his body against you. Soft moans that you'd gotten a taste of that night now fill your ears as lips and hands are everywhere. His mouth trails down every inch of your body as if learning your every memory, your every bruise that had left you wondering over the years. Erasing then rewriting the stories through splashes of pink hues that darken into the blues and purples of watercolour on a blank canvas.
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When the sun peaking through the curtains wakes you up in the morning, there's a disorientation in your head as if a fever dream that only lingers at the edges of your memory. The first glance at your body makes your heart sink as you realize you're covered in marks yet again, but then the memories flood back so fast that it takes a moment to catch your breath.
Sunwoo.
It's hard not to stare when he's right there. His long eyelashes, his high cheekbones, the way his lips curve into a small smirk as if knowing you're staring.
"Oh."
"Oh?" he mumbles, giving you a teasing look. He reaches over and pulls you even closer, until all you can see are those beautiful eyes. "Are you surprised I'm here?"
"No, but I was just afraid you... left."
He softens instantly into the brilliant smile that you'd seen only a few times so far. "Hey, I would never do that to you, soulmate. I was serious about what I said last night."
You nod, not trusting your own voice just yet. There's a tenderness in his eyes and fondness in his hands as his caresses your cheek, a softness that feels like warm sunlight trickling between the cracks. And when he kisses you this time, it feels like a first kiss. Whereas the night before was rough edges and stormy seas, this time it's filled with the innocence of a first love, the sweetness of a summer's day. His lips are gentle but what you notice most is the small smile that lingers on them like he can't contain his happiness.
This time the bruises that you see on your body aren't a sight that annoys you. They're not a sign that your soulmate is out there being reckless or fooling around; these are marks that your soulmate made directly on your skin. This time they're a reminder of what happened last night, not only a sign that he exists, but also a sign of how much he wants this too.
This time just before you head out, you're about to reach for your makeup bag before ultimately deciding against it. Because this time, you don't need to question who your soulmate was, where they were, or where the marks were coming from. It definitely feels different when you look over at Sunwoo and see the matching pale pink mark peeking out from the edge of his collar.
Maybe now, you can finally wear the bruises proudly.
The matching marks are the first thing that the soulmate duo stare at when you and Sunwoo walk into the cafe. You could see the way their eyes bounce back and forth between the two of you; Hyunjae giving you a very mischievous grin while Juyeon beams as if he were the matchmaker himself. Maybe he was, in a way; maybe the universe would've straightened itself out without his interference like he'd said, but he certainly helped.
There's a fifth seat saved for Younghoon, but it remains empty as you heard that he's been busy with the soulmate that he had found only recently. It's ironic that that fight with Sunwoo had been the solution for finding his soulmate all along—the bruises on his face had also showed up on a classmate of his. You were just happy that he's met someone he could finally channel all his love towards.
"Oh hey, pretty boy," Sunwoo nods towards Hyunjae when the two of you join them at the table, then turns to Juyeon, "and Y/N's ex-crush."
You elbow him lightly. "Please. Not you too."
The three of them laugh and for a second it feels so natural. You're glad to have brought them together even if their source of entertainment was from teasing you.
When Hyunjae looks at Juyeon, there's a particular look they exchange. A glance that said neither of them has ever doubted that your relationship with Sunwoo would work out, that they know all too well what the soulmate bond feels like and perhaps how its pull is inevitable.
You see it in the way Younghoon glows when he walks in with his soulmate later—Minji, he said her name was. The affection in his gaze when he looks at her, the way her eyes twinkle when smiles back at him. There's no denying their bond when it's all so different from how he looked at you before.
And you see it in all of Sunwoo's soft smiles and the crinkle of his nose and the way his eyes curve. The smiles you once thought were rare are now all you can see when no longer hidden beneath a facade. Maybe he's right that soulmates don't actually exist, and that love can bloom anywhere at any time. Maybe it's the choice to believe in it that makes the love for that person stronger than anything else. But on the way home when you see him subtly look at the marks on his skin with such fondness in his eyes, you knew that it didn't matter.
#okay soooooo I have finally read this masterpiece sherri and i enjoyed it so much!!! you nearly had me falling for swoo </3#maybe I did a little :/#ANYWAY!!! Okay Hyunjae is soooo annoying I love the way you depicted him Juyeon is too sweet for him but I love when you said Hyunjae would#kill sunwoo if he hurt him like heart eyes uwu#the scene when it all comes together that sunwoo is readers soulmate and hj is like 'u have a bruise' and#you say 'maybe you die a little inside' made me laugh soooo much#AND HOW FALLING IN THE BUSHEL OF APPLES ISN'T SO FUNNY ANYMORE LOL WE LOVE KARMA#and later fucking kim sunwoo with that cheesy 'i guess you could say... I fell for you' LIKE LOL GTFO HERE SUNWOO!!!#I love sunwoos annoying flirty characterisation it was so fun to read#like when he was like 'aw jealous dw i'd rather hang out with you soulmate' I was literally like BOY YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!!!!!!!!#ALSO THE FACT HE JUST KEPT CALLING READER SOULMATE#Also I screenshotted the part where HJ looks you up and down and says bruises or not i don't think you can afford to be any uglier -_-#I just commented BITCH on that part#ALSO F U FOR MAKING HOON SUCH A NICE BOY I REALLY FELL FOR HIM IN THOSE LIKE TWO SCENES HE WAS IN SMH#But my note when he mention that sunwoo had bruises because of the fight i was just like 'HOON FIGHTING <3' thats hot bestie#okay I'm about to quote this whole part bc i loved it okay u ready:#Sunwoo doesn’t reply but a small smile appears on his face / the first genuine smile that you’ve seen from him in the couple of weeks since#you’ve known about his existence There’s none of the fake charm and rough persona that he tried to project before#all of a sudden the harsh lines and black and whites of his image blur and soften#melting into an image of a soulmate that almost makes you forget to breathe for a second.'#in love with this part <3 truly#also the part where he showed up in class and jumil interrogate you#was so fucking funny eric being a lil gossip lmao#OHHH THE HANDHOLDING HELP MEEEEE 'if you wanted me to hold your hand you could've just said so soulmate'#sunwoo istg we gonna fight but still that whole scene <3 heart full a bit of a mess but full#'it might be bc your view is obstructed by the wind induced tears/ but for a second a second there seems to be smth in his eyes thats#a little softer than usual; a slip of brightness between the cracks of walls hes always had up#if it were from anyone else/ you mightve said it was a look of fondess' PLEASEEEEE#IM THE ONE WHO IS FOND HERE#THE WHOLE ROOFTOP MOMENT TOOOO BUT THE EVERY HOUR IS MISSING YN HOURS SHUT UPPPPPP
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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Sweetest tongue and sharpest tooth
Pairing: Sangyeon x fem!reader Word count: 2.5k Genre: romance (ish), and um... thriller (ish) Warnings: mentions of blood and death
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There have always been strange stories about the forest on the outskirts of the manor. Legends, spooky tales. When you're invited to a party there, it becomes the perfect chance to see these woods for yourself... with a handsome stranger by your side.
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A cool night, the moon above you, the forest in the distance. Looking out into the darkness of the garden and what lies beyond may feel ominous, but you would rather be here in the cold than in the ballroom for another minute. You could still hear the pulse from the loud music shaking the walls of the luxurious mansion behind you, and you could still see the way people smiled. The twinkle in their eyes. It's all so fake that it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth regardless of how delicious the food had been.
Out on the balcony, there's none of that—only a gentle breeze as your company. There's the moonlight, the crisp air from the rain during the day, the swaying of the trees in the forest at the edge of the property. As the hard pounding of your heart slows down, you find your thoughts going back to the man from earlier.
Mr. Lee, the whispers had floated around, Lee Sangyeon. He's impossible not to notice, with that handsome face and the perfect mannerisms of a gentleman. And yes, you'd indeed noticed him when he'd offered you a glass of champagne while at the food table, and you'd definitely noticed him when his dark eyes had focused on you in a way that made the rest of the party disappear. You may have rejected his offer but that didn't stop you from watching him from afar as he floated around the room. Greeting everyone as if he were the host himself. He was good at that—it was noticeable how the expressions of people changed as soon as he was within their vicinity. They lit up like fireworks upon seeing his smile.
You quickly shake the thoughts away; there's no point in wondering about someone like that. Maybe he was as fake as the rest of them. But just as you decide to take your leave for the night, he turns. He turns so that his eyes seem to be right on you, across the room and through the French doors. Watching you as you watch him. He smiles a little, a tiny lopsided smile that shows off a dimple.
The surprise running through your veins holds you on the spot. It leaves you clutching onto the railing, frozen with the way he excuses himself from the crowd, pinned with each step he takes in your direction. You can only watch as he opens the doors to the balcony with such grace, his every step smooth as if gliding across the marble tiles.
Then, he joins you. He remains silent, with his eyes only briefly meeting yours before they're trained on the forest beyond the garden, so you turn too and force your gaze away from one beautiful thing onto another. The trees, of course. The way the moonlight illuminates the treetops has got to be prettier than the way it bounces off his hair.
"Isn't it beautiful?" he asks, voice as soft as a whisper. "Sometimes I find myself wondering what it'd be like to go out there, to walk through that forest. Grass under your feet, trees sheltering you above, and the cool air surrounding you. Wouldn't it be nice?"
It's as if he could read your mind; he said the very thoughts you were thinking without even seeing them written across your face.
A hint of a smile plays at his lips when you look over at him, and the stars dance in his dark eyes. He's indeed handsome but not just in the conventional way that people whisper about. There's something attractive about him that extends beyond a handsome face, broad shoulders, and perfect proportions, though it slips just beyond your grasp. Charisma, perhaps? Or maybe familiarity?
"Yes, it's quite wonderful especially under the moonlight. The forest looks perfect." You brush the loose strands of hair out of your face with a flick of your wrist, gaze not leaving him as you search for a reaction.
Shadows fall over his face when he finally turns, but they don't hide the way his eyes linger on yours. "Then," he holds out a hand, "would you like to take a walk with me, my lady?"
It had to be a bad idea. You should be cautious, fearful even, for this is a stranger you're with. It would be dark in the forest, and you might trip and fall to your doom. Assuming that he isn't the cause of your doom—you weren't ready to be murdered by a hot guy even if you may have joked about that many times.
But despite all of the thoughts running through your mind, you still end up taking his hand. And then you're wandering through the woods at night with a handsome stranger.
It's difficult to find the path at first with the moonlight doing little to help illuminate your surroundings. Sangyeon guides you though, his touch warm and comforting where it rests on your arm as the two of you head deeper into the woods. Beneath your feet the soils are soft from the rain earlier, and above head there's light faintly peaking through the thick canopy of leaves. You send a silent word of gratitude at the gods for letting you choose flats over heels for the event.
With every step away from the manor, the worries you once had slowly dissipate. You're aware that it should be the other way around—by now you should be freaking out and regretting your choices. But somehow, the warmth of his body against your side makes you feel calm and safe. You're comfortable around him as if he were simply an old acquaintance or friend that you could depend on. Though it sounds absurd even to you; there's no way the two of you have met before.
Perhaps it's because of the way he looks at you like he genuinely cares, like he's truly interested in listening to what you have to say. Maybe that's what people like about him after all—he makes everyone feel special and seen. You find yourself opening up to him despite how you tried to stay away from people during the dinner party, and despite knowing you might not be the only one he's so attentive to.
"Hey, are you cold?" Sangyeon asks, voice soft. There's a sparkle of concern in his eye when you look at him, and then he's taking off his blazer and gently setting it on your shoulders. The lingering warmth of it has you imagining if this is what being in his embrace would feel like. If you'd be enveloped by his scent and his touch.
"Oh, thanks."
He tilts his head at the surroundings. "It's nice isn't it? I actually didn't want to come out here... because—well, you know what people say. You've heard about it, right?" Sangyeon's eyes lands on yours for a brief moment before flickering away. "Maybe we shouldn't be talking about it right now."
"No, go on," you urge, your curiosity getting the better of you. "I haven't heard anything. Is there something spooky about this forest?"
"Oh, you haven't?" Surprise flashes across his face. "There's an old legend associated with this piece of land actually. When the settlers first cleared this area, the daughter of one of the businessmen went missing. They say she was taken, kidnapped by a hunter who then left her for death in the forest. Apparently the wolves found her, as the townspeople ended up finding shredded and bloodied bits of her clothing later on."
It sounded oddly familiar, as if it were something you'd once read in a book a long time ago. Or perhaps people were talking about it at the party, and it only registered in your mind subconsciously.
Sangyeon continues. "But when the businessman went into the forest one night, he claimed that one of the wolves he saw was his daughter. It had the same eyes, gazing wistfully as she'd always done. The wolf even washed its fur like a cat, using the same kind of elegant movements as his daughter did as when she would brush her hair back. The businessman felt sure of it."
It seemed to get even darker in the forest, and you weren't so sure whether it was a denser area or whether you were actually getting spooked by the story. The manor and its loud music were long gone, leaving the two of you in a dead silence. And with that, the volume of his voice had dropped too.
"They told the businessman that he was delusional, that he was so entrapped in his grief that he'd started hallucinating. Obviously the very thought of seeing his daughter in a wolf form was ridiculous, so the businessman convinced himself it was just a coincidence and tried to forget about it. But a few nights later, the whole town was shaken by a wolf attack."
"And?" you prompt when he pauses. "What happened?"
Sangyeon raises an eyebrow at your eagerness. "There were people claiming to have seen a girl, a very human girl, standing outside just before the attack occurred."
"What—"
All of a sudden, you fall forward. You flail, trying to grasp onto anything you can to stop your fall, only to realize you don't need to. Sangyeon's arms are around you instantly.
"You okay?"
And maybe you hoped that would be the moment he kisses you because he's so close, merely a few centimeters from you as you turn to thank him. A few centimeters before lips would brush lips. It would be such a cliche but maybe a kiss from a handsome stranger in the middle of a forest was just what you needed.
But he simply smiles at you as he pulls back.
"Um, thanks."
"Must've been the root of a tree." He lets go of you slowly, stepping away but not straying too far. Somehow, you have no doubt he'd catch you if you trip again. "Be careful. The forest is denser here."
At the mention of the forest, you turn to look around. Barely any moonlight penetrated the foliage, and without the sound of the breeze, your surroundings were silent. As if the world is holding its breath.
"How far are we going?"
"It's just up ahead." Sangyeon smiles reassuringly, just hardly visible from the corner of your eye. There's a slight teasing edge to his voice when he says, "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big bad wolf."
You let out a chuckle, but soon think back to the story that he was telling before you tripped. "So what happened to the businessman afterwards?"
"The businessman didn't build a fence around his property in the hopes that his daughter might come back one day. That's why the mansion is still connected to these woods now."
"Oh."
Then you stop and think about the story. Everything made sense, and yet you can't shake off the feeling that there was something strange about it. So much of it was focused on the wolves, but hadn't the poor girl been harmed or killed by that hunter first? Shouldn't he be the antagonist of the story, and not the wolves?
"But the hunter," you decide to finally ask. "What happened to him?"
It's hard to tell with the minimal light, but you almost think the question catches Sangyeon off guard. He seems taken aback at your words, like he didn't expect your focus to shift in that direction. "The people in that town never caught the hunter nor found out who he was. No one did."
"That's so strange. Why would he kill her? What would his motive be?"
You expect him to shrug, to say that he doesn't know or perhaps to not answer your rhetorical-sounding questions at all. Except, he does answer.
"He was making a sacrifice. It's—hard to explain. But sometimes when you're desperate enough, even killing seems all too easy." Sangyeon's voice is still soft yet there's an icy chill in it that makes you shiver. The way he talks makes the story sound real. All of it sounds too real. "Besides, he was a hunter, after all."
Wait, but how do you know?
"So is there a reason we shouldn't be in the forest, according to the legend?" you ask instead, attempting to shrug off that strange feeling that was making your stomach twist.
"Now, people say that if you say the name of the girl while you're here, she will come greet you, whether she's in her wolf form or human form." Sangyeon looks at you when he pauses, seemingly waiting for a reaction as he lets his words linger in the still air. "And that she's out for revenge or something."
The feeling grows stronger. It isn't quite like the fear of just having heard a terrifying legend in the woods in the middle of the night with a stranger by your side. No, it's almost as if...
"Or that if a hunter named Lee Sangyeon ever invites you out to the forest with him, you should never go," he chuckles, like he's telling a joke. "Because there's no guarantee on what might happen."
Your blood runs cold at the name. Lee Sangyeon. Handsome, charming... and a hunter? Was he saying that he was the hunter from the tale? Surely he had to be joking about it; maybe he only wanted to spook you out a little.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to tell you such a gruesome tale." He gives you a wry smile, steps seemingly slowing. "I hope it didn't scare you from walking here."
You try to return the smile. "Don't worry, it's not like that means anything, right? It's just a silly old tale."
"Yeah," he shrugs, giving you a nonchalant nod. "Anyway, enough of the scary tales. I just realized that I never introduced myself. I'm—"
Lee Sangyeon.
"Wait, what was her name?" you blurt, interrupting him with the other detail in the story. "The—the wolf girl?"
It couldn't be true. This had to just be some coincidence. He had to be joking. There was no way—
Sangyeon pauses for a second, almost as if debating whether he should really risk saying the girl's name or not. "Her name was Y/N," finally comes out as quiet as a whisper.
It takes you a second to realize that that's the name of the girl in the story because it sounds much too familiar. You stop walking, staring back at him in confusion. "Wait, but my name is Y/N."
The last thing you notice is his eyes widening in shock before the world becomes a blur around you.
It's unclear how much time passes. Everything happens in a blur and when you finally snap out of your reverie, you're walking back to the house alone. Your dress is ripped and splattered with blood, one of your shoes missing. But none of that matters.
What matters is that the old tale has been rewritten—you rewrote it. The hunter and the girl, out in the woods. Only now, the hunter had become the hunted. And the girl? Well, the girl went to the party and finally got her revenge.
#YOOOOOO YO YO YOOOOOO#okay before i yell let me start with i love the characterisation the build up the pace the subtle mystery and the way you presented it#i love this line comparing sangyeon and the view of the forest 'so you turn too and force your gaze from one beautiful thing to another'#so trueeee bestie he is beautiful#the line about not read to be murdered by a hot guy even if youve joked about it made me laugh (also hello irony)#OH THE LINE ABOUT HIM MAKING PEOPLE FEEL SPECIAL AND SEEN MADE ME LAUGH BC 🤡🤡🤡 LISA ABOUT YOU#ah the part where he gives her the blazer 🥺🥺🥺#'the lingering warmth of it has you imagining if this is what being in his embrace would feel like.#if you'd be enveloped by his scent and his touch'#that was v nice 🥺#AND THE LINE AS HES TELLING THE STORY 'AS IF THE WORLD IS HOLDING ITS BREATH' UM BITCH ME TOO SJKDKD#oh wait this whole part was so akdkdk <3333#'He was making a sacrifice. It's—hard to explain. But sometimes when you’re desperate enough#even killing seems all too easy.#Sangyeon’s voice is still soft yet there’s an icy chill in it that makes you shiver. The way he talks makes the story sound real.#all of it sounds too real.#LIKE DAMNNN I WAS WIFJDJD JUST THAT SHORT PART GAVE DEPTH TO HIS CHARACTER FLESHED OUT MORE OF HIS MYSTERY AND APPARENT DARKNESS#A WHOLE RED FLAGGGG#i could hear his voice like i shivered fr akkddj#BUTOKAY THE END YES HE SO STUPID AND WE LOVE TO SEE A MAN GO DOWN HIS SINS PAID FOR HIS ACTIONS MET WITH CONSEQUENCE AHHHH#this screams Jennifer's body like bitch u unleashed the monster boo fucking hoo bye bye now#anyway i love your storytelling you manage to keep pace and anticipation and build the world and character it what seems so little but#speaks so much ahhhh i love it sherri!!!#m: sangyeon#gr: tbz#g: in fantasy there is magic#?? ig lol idk
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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A spark between pages
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⇢ Jacob x reader, 1.1k, childhood friends to ?, just… bittersweet ⇢ For you, Jacob was always the one that got away. Now you wonder if he’s in love with someone from college as you meet up a year later.
The walk to your old high school was one that you were all too familiar with, having walked this route every day for the past few years. The sound of cars buzzing by and the feel of the groves in the sidewalk against your feet are things you've known all too well, though now there's a new traffic light and another row of new houses nearby. There's the fading heat of a summer evening and a pounding in your heart that isn't simply from walking too fast.
Not everything is the same as before.
Summer break has you finally coming home from college after a year, but despite being glad that you're back with family, there's a part of you that wanted to avoid coming back to your hometown forever. You'd seen the way other friends posted about their amazing college experiences, the way their eyes shone with excitement when telling stories of their crazy adventures. And it wasn't like you didn't have the same type of stories to tell, but rather, the one person you wanted to tell them to was too far to reach.
There's a bit of a crowd starting to gather at the field of the school, camping chairs out and cameras ready to capture the fireworks of another Canada Day. The sun is just starting to go down when you go to text him asking where he is, and you can't help but scroll up and notice that the dates on the last texts in the conversation were from a year ago. Something about final exam grades at the end of June.
A year ago. It brings you back to the day you should've been celebrating the ending of your final year in high school, when you had finally been ready to ask the one question that had been on your mind for far too long. The day you ran out of class and looked for him after receiving your marks, the day you texted him asking where he was to only get a reply saying he'd already left. Now, that question only turns into a what if—what if he'd stayed just a little longer after school that day? What if you'd ended up meeting with him? What if you'd asked the question you had in mind all year before you went off to different colleges?
"Y/N," he says softly, pulling you out of your thoughts.
Jacob. He's by your side again just as he was for all those years, but he looks different now. There's a sun kissed glow on his skin, a brightness in his eyes that hadn't been as obvious before. Has he gotten a little taller too? You wondered if he was in love. Maybe he met someone in college because love tends to make you glow all over like that.
The fading of the sunset casts against the big windows of the school and you're reminded of all the times you'd sat in those classrooms looking out. Texting him from under your desk. Classes you had shared with him where you'd scribbled in the margins of his notes. You wondered if he still had those notes, and if he dug them up now, would those doodles still be there? Would the fluttering of hearts and the spark between gazes still exist within the pages of a chapter that's now closed?
Jacob turns to say something to you, but there's a firework that goes off right at that moment. You don't turn to look at it as you're too busy trying to focus on what he's saying, but somehow you're finding yourself looking at the explosion of colours reflected from his eyes. You see the world in his eyes; the multitude of red and yellow dots of light that scatter across the remnants of a sunset sky.
"What did you say?" you ask as the noises fade and the stillness settles in again. "Sorry; couldn't hear."
He simply shakes his head and gives you a soft smile, "It's nothing."
This time, you turn to enjoy the rest of the fireworks, the most spectacular that you've seen. The lower the sun gets, the brighter they light up the sky, soaring to great heights and vanishing quietly into the night. Maybe this was the erasing and rewriting of a page you've kept open for too long, gently fading into a lovely summer night. A beautiful start of a blank slate.
It gets cold as the blanket of darkness settles in, but his body is warm where he's pressed against your side.
Walking back after the fireworks leaves a strange taste in your mouth.
"It's weird being home," he says. "Everything still looks the same but so much has changed."
"Yeah," you repeat, "so much has changed."
So much has changed and yet the night sky looks the same as you're walking down the same street with the same friend, just as you'd done every day for the past few years. Has everything changed? The only thing that's changed is his easy smile, gone now and replaced with a press of his lips.
When he walks you to your house, steps slow in the coolness of the summer breeze. His eyes no longer reflect the brilliant fireworks etched in your mind from earlier, but instead you see yourself in them. In his eyes you could see your shared memories of late nights playing guitar, soft melodies and even softer glances as hands brushed over the same strings. Walks at the park where two dogs were better than one, and maybe two people were better than one as well.
A goodbye is said with hesitance, a spark lingering in the air. You wonder if it really is too late as he turns and all you could see is the image of his back getting smaller and smaller as he gets farther and farther from you. Maybe he'd always be getting farther away from you. You wonder if he really is in love.
It's not until there's a quiet knock on the door just before you could decide to go upstairs and call it a day. He's there, and so are the feelings that were always resting just beneath the surface, the ones that you thought had long faded over the course of a year. You see them in his eyes this time, that nothing has faded but instead, built up to this moment.
Beginnings and endings are the hardest to write, but maybe this isn't a blank page with a clean slate, nor a closure of a chapter in a book. It's a turn of a page, a pause between breaths.
And it's not until his arms are around you that you realize he really is in love.
He is in love, just as you'd thought the whole night. But it's not with someone from college, not with someone new. You just hadn't expected it to be with you.
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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22:44
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Pairing: Changmin x Fem!Reader
Genre: Fluff ➴ Smut ⊹
Synopsis: Your boyfriend decides to have fun with you during a trip visiting your parent's house.
WC: 1.9k +
Warnings: cursing, exhibitionism, asphyxiation, unprotected sex, not stated, but reader is on the pill
a/n: ahhad this is a fun one
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"y/n set up the table"
"ah no it's okay I got it" Changmin takes the plates from your mother's hands and walks away to the table placing down the plates and cutlery in their respective spots leaving your mom flustered and impressed by his actions.
Your mom turned her body to you with folded arms giving you an approved like expression inaudibly mouthing 'good job, how'd you get him?' and plainly, you let out a dry laugh and rolled your eyes.
The thought of visiting your parents was fine until they thought it was time to meet your boyfriend. As different from any typical boyfriend, he was pleasantly excited and you guess you were too.
Once you reached the doors of your old house, you looked to the side only to see Changmin looking like he's going to shit himself and sweating bullets. What happened to being excited? The realization that he's actually going to be meeting your parents hit and he'll have to converse with them, and he would be a wreck and you'd enjoy seeing that, but-
He wasn't.
It was like he was a natural, was he always this well spoken? He had no stutters, no mishaps, nothing problematic and your parents adored him. They almost forgot you were even there, like their own daughter wasn't the one who introduced them to him.
"So tell us...how did y/n end up with such a lucky guy like you"
"momm" you grimaced at her
Changmin took your hand in his, "actually I think it was me who was lucky to have ended up with her"
You bout cringed at him, "ok enough with that" and you got a laugh out of him
"ok ok, we met at university, we were in the same class actually and she kept bothering me about physics homework. Would ask non stop about this one portion and being the super nice guy that I am, of course I helped her. It started with a couple questions after class, to becoming study partners at the library to having coffee breaks at the local cafe and now....here we are"
From your parents they could see the adoration thats dripping from your boyfriend's eyes looking at you and thumbing the skin of your hand so sweetly and how completely smitten you are.
He was the perfect boy for you according to your parents.
Him and his dark hair, cute glasses, respectful words, calm behavior, funny personality,
And maybe your parents should have made the wise choice to make you two sleep separately in separate rooms, but your boyfriend had them completely fooled.
They would have never thought he'd be the type of boy to make you clasp your hand over your mouth trying to keep your moans at a quiet decent level while he's licking you all up and sucking on you like a vacuum, teeth grazing your clit, tongue teasing your entrance sending wild shivering sensations all through out your body.
You're starting to think the whole visit was a big mistake, but you would be lying if you said that this didn't thrill you and excite you in some maniacal way.
It was such a challenge to keep yourself quiet, your hand was doing you no help.
But you couldn't help to drag one of your hands down to dig your nails into his scalp, fingers getting lost in the strands of his hair, pulling his lips closer to your dripping core.
The fiery knot in your stomach was drawing tightly and you look down to see your boyfriend shaking his head vigorously with his eyes shut drinking up all your soaking juices and just from the sight alone you were going to absolutely lose it, but he breaks away from your lips letting the cold air sting you.
Changmin lips were wet, red and plump and his hair was perfectly messy from your hair pulling-oh god he looked so hot.
He dives his body in between your legs and plants his lips on yours, letting yourself taste yourself as his tongue presses against yours.
"babe, i don't think we should be doing this in my parents house"
He only kisses you deeper, as he unbuckles his pants, unbuttoning his pants and he breaks the kiss to lean back up taking himself out.
He spreads your legs wider before spitting on your dripping pussy, hand pumping himself slapping against your folds, spreading out the saliva across your folds, grazing your swollen clit, and it's driving you absolutely insane.
He jerks his head to the side, like he's trying to crack the bones in his neck and ends with a sly grin, "you can keep quiet can you?" and he slips into you all the way, any hint of air leaving your lungs, and your lower back arches leaving the surface of the bed.
"ohh fuck"
Changmin feels pride from hearing your breathless sounds, knowing that he's the one causing you to react like this.
He knows that this is wrong, doing this sinful act in your parents home, fucking their daughter, but he likes to be adventurous and explore.
Exploring what it would be like to fuck you hungrily in a place where you shouldn't be fucked so hungrily.
"you're going to have to be more quiet than that darling"
"fuck you"
"don't mind if i do" he chuckles
His hands find your waist and grips your flesh tightly as he digs his hips into yours at a brutally fast pace, targeting your g-spot. You would absolutely be horrified if your parents knew what your boyfriend was doing to you now. Fucking you so good, causing your body to shudder under the feeling of his dick filling you up over and over.
Your moans were not ceasing, and no way was he going to stop from his unhinged drilling, he leads one of his hands to slide his way up your torso resting at the base of your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze causing you to gasp and shoot your eyes open.
Changmin's never choked you before, never deprived you of the sole thing that fuels your body to live, but you loved it, you got wetter by the second as he gripped harder around your throat and fucked into you faster. Your eyes were starting to roll to the back of your head, and your lips fall into a content smile feeling so turned on by your boyfriend and Changmin loved it, he loved it that you loved this and that you were okay with his actions, it only anchored him down and fueled his love for you.
All of a sudden, the headboard of your bed started to bang against the wall and you cursed, fearing the worst.
"cha-changm-babe" you could barely talk feeling too much throughout your body and from your deprivation of air, but he knew what you were talking about.
A not so shameful tsk comes from him and he pulls out of you, but to only yank you down by your ankles earning a yelp from you.
He dips down and meets your lips with his, inhaling your scent, savoring your lips, fingers dancing over your skin and you moaned into the kiss letting yourself melt.
He takes his hands and grabs both of your ankles, breaking the kiss to meet your feet in the air, he takes the tip of his dick and breaks through your folds to fill you up and you let out a strained moan.
By now, you don't really care if your parents cared, not when your boyfriend is showing you a new side of him and treating your body so enticingly righteous. You just hope that they don't actually.
"mm babe, I don't think you should be moaning so loudly
I don't want your parents to think indifferent of me"
Your legs get folded and your knees bout meet your shoulders as he places wet kisses along your jaw up to your ear," how I'm fucking their daughter in their own house, how you're taking me so well, how you're being such a good girl for me."
He whispers in your ear and those words resonate in the walls of your head as the drilling of his hips continue to hit inside you deeply, feeling it all through your body. The knot is starting to coil so tightly, a few more and it's going to snap, releasing you into satiable bliss.
But a knock on your door, halts every moment and every sound, leading the thrusting of his hips to stop and your bliss? Insatiable.
"y/n darling are you okay? I heard a loud thud"
Your eyes screw shut regretfully cursing your stupid headboard, "uh yea I'm fine"
"okay, do you and-
He begins to move.
You frantically shake your head telling him no, but he's not one to listen, the fear of getting caught excites him. Changmin crawls back up removing himself off your chest to straighten up your legs only to wrap both his arms around them, his head stationed right in between your ankles and he begins to painstakingly drag himself out and ram back inside you, quietly but surely felt as you bite back a yelp.
and whatever your mom was saying, it was all muddled
"is that okay honey?"
"mhm, y-yea" yet you have no idea what your mom asked
"ok great, aquarium tomorrow then, goodnight"
Aquarium??!?! That means I'd have to be walking around, "mhm goodni-ight"
"...oh fuck"
You open your eyes up only to be disappointed seeing a cheeky grin from Changmin.
"I like aquariums"
"shut up"
He lets out a giggle and removes his hold on your legs to let you wrap them around his waist as his hand comes to caress your head as he slots his lips in between yours. He gives you a couple more earth shattering thrusts and your high gets fed, your body convulses and your legs shake as the wave of pleasure crashes you both and he releases inside you.
The both of you are burnt out now, as both your bodies collapse into bed, feeling too icky, but the both of you are too tired to bother with that, promising that it'll be dealt with in the morning.
-
Chirps of birds manages to wake you up from your slumber and you open your eyes to an adorable sleeping Changmin. You bring out a finger to poke his nose, "wake up" and he inhales the morning air and groans moving forward to snuggle into your arms, "no, few more minutes"
The sound of his morning voice being muffled, you find it attractive triggering something inside you, yet endearing, it leaves your lips in a smile.
"you need to go take a shower"
"come in with me"
"no no more-"
"just showering, that's it"
You sigh defeatedly, "fine..at least we'll both be clean at a faster rate"
After the shower and the both of you getting ready, you go out first and your parents have made waffles alongside french toast alongside eggs alongside fruit salad alongside bacon for you all to enjoy.
"ooo variety of food for breakfast?? good one dad"
"mhm, I bet you've both worked up the appetite in there"
Your eyeballs almost dislocates themselves out your sockets and your mom chokes on her morning tea.
Changmin walks out and you slowly turn to him with a mournful smile, and he is completely clueless folding up his sleeves, "what?"
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a/n: that was fun. Hope you Changmin stans liked that. I was contemplating to use his stage name, but that would kinda be odd.
<3 we love our pigeon/squirrel/hamster/giraffe
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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Riverstones
@heoneyology; some sassy Sunwoo lovin’ that’s rusty as hell but I hope you yell about it anyway.
2,877
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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fateful coincidence [1] | l.jh
A/N: does anyone even read my stuff anymore…? anyway, I jokingly told rani (who I can’t even tag anymore or don’t know what blog to tag-) that I should just write my jooheon dreams as fanfics, because then I would at least be writing something instead of being on hiatus. and she took it seriously and said yes. so here we are.
Word Count: 7148
Genre: chaebol/heir!au, slice of life, soft angst, humor? (am I even funny?), romance (slow burn)
Pairing: reader (fem) x lee jooheon (monsta x)
Warnings: mature themes/suggestive, language, there will be… sugar daddy themes… later… but not like sexually idk if this is a warning???
Summary: Lee Jooheon is a well-known heir to a global hotel conglomerate, and is next in line to take over the family business. You’re a journalist aspiring for more, but barely managing to pay your own bills at the end of the month. The two of you are from entirely different worlds, yet fate somehow tangles your threads, and Jooheon seems to know an intriguing amount more about you than he lets on.
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“You mean to tell me they just dropped out? Randomly at the last minute like that?”
The voices of your coworkers had been floating around overhead for many minutes longer than you would’ve liked, by now. Why they couldn’t gossip over their coffee delivery somewhere else was beyond you. Why they had to do it at all was further unfathomable. Attempting to push their voices out of your head and concentrate on your work, you rub your temple, squinting at the computer screen in front of you.
“Apparently the journalist got sick and they had no one else to cover from that company. So they called us,” your friend and coworker, Yoo Kihyun, answers the other speaking in his usual matter-of-fact tone.
“It’s tomorrow, though!” The original speaker complains, pressing forward further, “And we’re such a small publication! How can they expect us to take place for the other last minute like this?”
You’re not sure which is louder in your mind, at this point: The complaining of your coworkers—specifically the female senior whose name you’d forgotten—or your typing. With each passing word they utter of annoyance or disbelief, mixed with Kihyun’s logical explanations, the clacking of your fingers against the keyboard beneath your hands quickens, intensifying, before you finally let out a harsh sigh and push yourself away from your desk in frustration. There’s no way for you to concentrate if they’re all going to stand around and gossip like high schoolers.
“Isn’t this good for us, though?” You speak up suddenly, causing the small group to glance over at you in surprise. Typically, you weren’t one to bother with their idle chit-chat breaks. The fact that you were doing so now took them by surprise. Even Kihyun quirks a curious brow at you.
Before you speak up again, you roll your shoulders and give a small stretch. Between their nonsensical worried rambling and your own pile of work, you could physically feel the stress building up in your body. “That they invited us, I mean? As such a small publication?”
In your mind, it made more sense to be excited over being a small publication, taking a larger publication’s place, to any event. Even if it was simply as a fill-in due to a last minute call out—and even if it was a lone instance that may never happen again.
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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when the hydrangea bloom | k.sw
A/N: uhhh this came out way longer than I expected but I guess since I’m posting it now happy birthday to tbz’s sunwoo? and also shoutout to both the road to kingdom teaser and @bossmyc​ for fueling my brain with this idea.
Word Count: 5425
Genre: feudal!au, fluff, romance
Pairing: reader (fem) x kim sunwoo (the boyz)
Warnings: extreme… fluff… prepare to die…
Summary: Kim Sunwoo is a soldier sent to your small mountain village to train with his platoon, like many soldiers from the Great King’s army before him. Yet unlike all the other soldiers that have passed through, Sunwoo’s heartfelt, yet slightly annoying, determination and handsome features are the first to catch your attention.
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Stay away from the soldiers.
Those words became a mantra, over time. One you were expected to live by. Your father’s warning had been engraved in your mind over the years as you’d grown up. Your father was a strict man, though he had a tender heart shown only to those he cared for most dearly. Perhaps being born with two daughters had made him soft, over time. Luckily for him, neither you nor your sister were anything akin to troublemakers—although it could be argued that you were more of a headache than your older sibling. Sometimes, you’d often find yourself a little hot-headed and somehow in curious situations, due to your own impulsive actions and words. But you never really caused trouble. Not intentionally, anyway.
And so, this was the single rule your father ever expected you to follow—stay away from the soldiers.
Your mother, amused, would always smile fondly whenever he would remind you and your sister of his instructions. He himself had been a soldier in his prime. Clearly that warning had worked out well for her.
But he was regarded as a man with the knowledge of time on his side. The villagers were loyal. Almost undyingly so. They respected not only him, but his words and his decisions. He never seemed to lead anyone awry. As such, you figured his warning had to come with some unspoken knowledge that he refused to share. He had been a soldier, he knew what it was like—knew what they were like. Of course, there was the possibility that he was simply being an overprotective father, too.
While that was the single rule your father put in place, expecting you and your sister to uphold it, there was one more mantra. Similarly to his warning about the soldiers, it had been repeated so often in such sporadic moments that it had done well to stick in your mind, but it often lingered at the back like a distant memory. But, sometimes, something would happen that would stir the memory, and the words would idly pass through your mind like a gentle breeze; a soft reminder.
If a boy looks like trouble, he most likely is.
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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game of night | prologue
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Characters: fem reader, kim younghoon, kim sunwoo (main), the boyz (supporting)
A/N: so the tbz music video for drink it gave me an idea and thus, here we are… (this is just the prologue-teaser thing, btw!)
Word Count: 1,274
Genre: vampire!au, vampire!tbz, supernatural elements, implied romantic attractions but not the main focus
Warnings: reader (fem) x kim sunwoo implied pairing, mature/suggestive themes, language, blood
Summary: You and Younghoon have been best friends since childhood. The two of you have always been practically inseparable, until this past summer. When family troubles pull you away from your hometown and Younghoon for the summer, despite a promise to stick by his side through his own family issues—you’re surprised to return two months later to Younghoon mysteriously missing. But he and his presence linger, and you’re the only one who believes he’s still around and didn’t simply “run away from home” like everyone is telling you. And you can’t help but think your newfound friend, Sunwoo, knows more about Younghoon than he lets on… or that you might know too much about Younghoon. But by all means, you’re determined to bring Younghoon home.
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Every inch of Younghoon’s body felt as though it were on fire—at least, that’s the best way that he could describe it.
The sensation that coursed through the entire length of his body was scorching hot . It was like the worst possible fever sickness gone absolutely wrong. Just beneath his skin, a pain so blatantly present yet unreachable, throbbed —he ached in a way he had never experienced before. Try as he might, he couldn’t will it to go away—to settle down. The cold sweat breaking out on his forehead did nothing to remedy the heat blossoming from every inch of his body. Younghoon ground his teeth together against the pain, jaw tightening as it clenched. Even that minor movement hurt.
But what hurt worse was the way he let out a groan, and the eruption of what felt like fire exploding from the cavity of his chest followed.
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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Tag 10 blogs I want to know better!
Tagged by @timextoxhajima I totally forgot you did this I'm so sorry
name: Rani
gender: Female 
height: Just under 5'7
sexuality: Bi 😘
favourite animal/s: Pandas and turtles!
average hours of sleep: either bare minimum or 10+ lmao
current time: 04:16 !?
cats or dogs: cats- no dogs- no cats- no!!
dream job: occupational therapist
when i made this blog: not sure tbh and idk how to check lol
why i made this blog: I know how much it sucks to not get reblogs/feedback so I wanted a side to scream in the tags for all the amazing writers putting out free content <3
reason for url: I wanted to be semi punny 😭😭😭 (like motherfucker lmao but also in an accent)
I have no one to tag at this current time oops akdkd
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letteredwingsrecs · 3 years ago
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if only
— lee hyunjae x gn!reader
warnings: angst! super duper frown face :(
coco's love note: this is my first tbz fic...ever...please spare me if it's not good !!😩🤲🏼
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Hyunjae wants to say he loves you but he isn't sure you're the one yet. It's not a bad thing, he just needs time.
However, the more time he makes you wait, the more time you have to doubt his love. He's one of the kindest people you've ever met but waiting to hear from him the words "I love you", hurts. While it's easy for you to say them he can't even bring himself to think such a thought.
Hyunjae promises that his heart is yours, he swears up and down to his members, tells his parents, he even tells his fans but everyone knows who it really belongs to, and that person just isn't you.
He calls her name in his sleep and sees her in his dreams – she's the one holding the key to his locked heart.
They all know it, even you.
Weeks turn to months, which turn into years but at some point it just gets too much. The day you leave is the day it really hits him, he's been blind this whole time.
Lee Hyunjae is no longer in love with a ghost from his past, although it's taken so long to realize he knows he's in love with the shine from his present, and he regrets every day that he didn't tell you. If only he had, then maybe he wouldn't be haunted by the voices from his past whispering cruel regrets in his ear.
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coco's final note: hi I hope this was okay <3 thank you for reading it !!
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letteredwingsrecs · 4 years ago
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the boyz reaction to you stealing a cat from the grocery store
Request: omg do a text au of like u telling them u stole a cat from the grocery store and watch them go all ??!?!?!??!
A/N: NOOO I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THE OG ASK 😭 ANON I HOPE YOU FIND THIS I MADE THIS FOR YOU
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