I'm the girl who ignores the world. I plan to write everyday on here for a whole year to show how I block out the world, battle with anxiety, and deal with normal teenage problems. Follow me on this journey, as I try to do better for myself and try to become the person I know I want to become. 11|1|2017
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MY GRANDMA HAD ONE OF THOSE AND WE'D ALL BE SITTING IN THE NEXT ROOM AND HEAR IT GO OFF. WE COULD EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM, SITTING AND IT'D BE ON THIS TALL SHELF AND WE WOULD HAVE TO WAVE OUR HAND IN FRONT OF IT FOR IT TO GO OFF AND IT WOULD DO IT BY ITSELF. THESE THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPEN BRO
You have a motion control device that sprays air freshener into the air to keep your bathroom smelling nice. You live alone and just heard it go off.
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Omg, how is this possible?!! I just got ten bucks from my sister!!
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February 9th, 2018
Day 100
Its drawing week!
So time for some info on what the hell drawing week is. Every 100 days there’s a drawing week, and every 82 says there’s a writing week. Which, by the way in really sorry, it started out with such a bust. But I caught up, so here it is. I’ll be telling you guys my thoughts and what I’m listening to at the time/my playlist. So here it is.
***
Art: Wolf
Date: 02/09/18
Artist: A.M.B - The Girl Who Ignores The World
***
It was late at night when I started drawing, around ten pm. I was using a mechanical pencil, something I usually use for the basics. The familiar song of Demons playing through my earphones, I was mouthing the words as I started the first detail of the picture; the eye.
The song played on repeat since I was one of those people to listen to songs over and over again, until I knew ever millisecond of the song. But it was nice, it lulled me to continue. It wasn’t long until I was building fur around the eye, I had changed the song three different times trying to find the right one. I was able to continue, finding that On My Own was a nice sound.
The fur was going to be a long process, something I wasn’t generally interested in. But I was challenging myself so it made it fun.
By the time I had fully addressed the fur around the eye, I changed the song once again. But I kept this one until just before the end: All I Want.
I change up the last songs to Only A Memory, You Don’t Know What Its Like, Lost My Mind, and The Grey.
By the time I was done, I had gone through my entire playlist and spent two hours creating the drawing. My mind wanders obviously, I think about a lot of things. Things that usually make me happy or simple things, and so on. Drawing is like a stress reliever for me, I wander why I don’t do it more often. Its relaxing. But I guess when I mess up, I get really down on myself and basically beat myself up because I feel like I failed. My worst fear is failing, and when I do; I feel like shit and I start to hate myself.
Its why I don’t do it that much anymore, but in trying to push myself so I can learn and do better. In more ways then one.
Well, enough of me talking, here’s the drawing. It kind of turned out crappy, but I don’t really have that much experience with animals and I haven’t drawn in a while. So bare with me.
Welp, there it is. Its nothing much, but it’s something. I’ll get better at it, though.
Here’s the playlist:
Demons by Jacob Lee
On My Own by Ashes Remain
If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember
All I Want by Kodaline
Only A Memory by Icon For Hire
You Don’t Know What Its Like by Katelyn Tarver
Lost My Mind by (idk I was listening to the nightcore version)
The Grey by Icon For Hire
I guess that’s it, I’ll check in tomorrow. (If I don’t wake up dead.)
Yours truly,
The Girl Who Ignores The World
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February 8th, 2018
Story time
Hermione’s P.O.V
Ron was out again, probably snogging another one of his many whores. He’s been sleeping with other women for who knows how long, I found out not too long ago. It was September and I’ve been sitting and wasting away, thinking about him cheating on me for the last four months. Still I said nothing, I did nothing. Ron was my everything, my world. We’ve been together for so long I guess I’ve never really though about anyone else, while him on the other hand was what all he could think about.
And out of all days, he leaves me alone on Christmas.
It made me sick to think that the man I loved always had someone else in mind. Was I not enough?I’ve had my cries and then some, but now it’s like I don’t know how to. Like they’ve dried up and no longer exist. I went through a depressive state, where some days I wouldn’t want to get up out of bed. Where all I wanted to do is sleep, because of stress of thinking about him cheat. I was hiding, trying not to face the truth. How could the man I adore treat me this way? I gave him everything and what? I wasn’t enough? Was I just a waste? A piece of trash he tolerated?
I’m sure he knows I know, he has to. Other whys he would have made more excuses like he usually does. He knows and that’s what’s tearing me apart on the inside. The bloody fucking bastard knows. That’s what made me get up, to shower, to throw on the most revealing clothes I had and go out. I did my hair and makeup the best I could, and left the apartment. I needed to be far away away from the apartment so that way I don’t run into Ron, or any of our memories together. So ai drove somewhere far, a club near Hogsmeade. The dark side of Hogsmeade.
It was the last place Ron would look for me. Oh, who am I kidding? Once he saw I wasn’t home he would gladly call up one of his skanks, and get her into our bed. It made frown once again, pulling one of the most ugliest faces. I made it past the bouncer after he undoubtedly checked me out, and I walked in. Like any club, it was hectic as hell. Acid Pops, was what the club was called. It was a bit crowded and there was people dancing nearly everywhere. I was given many glances, some looking twice, but I ignored it no matter how much it made me feel uncomfortable. I felt a pit in my stomach; how could I even think about doing this to Ron?
He was the love of my life after all and this is how I treat him. Even though this is the exact way he treats me, I still felt guilty. I’m still a complete mess, Merlin, I need to get my head on straight. I came here to have fun, not wallow in my feelings. I make my way towards the bar where I find place to sit, and sigh. It was remarkably quieter at the bar, even though there was the occasional push and shove from others. “What can I get you, darlin’?” The bartender speaks and I look up to find an older witch. She was like any other person in here, dark attire and a bit of eyeliner.
“Whiskey, on the rocks.” I say, regretting it as it slipped off my tongue. I would usually get my regular red wine, but unfortunately I was looking for something far more stronger than my bitter sweet poison. “Coming right up.” She says, grabbing a glass. I sit there and wait for my drink, disregarding the stares of most of the men in the club. Soon enough a glass is day in front of me, I call out a “thank you��� as she walks away to tend to a different customer. I take a quick sip, hating the burning sensation of it going down. Not long after I’m interrupted.
“What brings you here on such a Holiday?” I hear a voice from my right. The figure I see from the corner of my eye sit on the chair next to me, before I finally take a glance to the strangers way. “Did the Weasel find a different woman to score this Christmas?” Draco asks and I unconsciously chuckle. He instantly looks taken aback as he takes a sip of his drink. “Spot on.” I say and he chokes on his drink, removing his lips from the glass, he covers his mouth. I turn myself to face him in my seat, and watch as he composes himself.
“Your kidding?” he speaks, raising his brows before setting his drink down. I shake my head and sits there looking a bit shocked. “What do you want, Malfoy?” I ask, resting my elbow in the bar to study him. His grey silvery eyes dart to mine, he shrugs. “Just to see what everyone’s attention was on.” It was my turn to choke in my drink. “Is that so?” I question, trying to ignore the embarrassing moment I had to experience with Draco. “Yeah, it’s quite rare that everyone’s attention is on one woman, rather than the Wizarding world’s most eligible bachelor.”
I laugh, “I wounded your ego, did I?” He rolls his eyes and loosens his tie a bit before leaning in closer, whispering “you wish.” A silence was brewed between us as we shared a moment of staring. I really couldn’t believe it, I was having a civil conversation with the boy I had punched in fourth year. It was truly remarkable, I would’ve thought it was a tall tale if I hadn’t been apart of it myself. “Is that all you came for?” I ask and he gives me a heart stopping, stomach turning, pulse racing, smile. The one that would make any girl swoon. “Course not. I wanted to meet the lovely lady.”
We laugh, and that’s what the night was; a laugh. We just talked, told each other stories of ourselves, we even had things in common. He took me to the a V.I.P section so wouldn’t have to keep on yelling over the loud music and soon enough we were on a new topic. As the night drew to its end, he walked me out and into the starry night sky. I wasn’t drunk, but I wasn’t sober either. “Driving wouldn’t be the best idea, now would it?” he asks and I chuckle, shaking my head. “Defiantly not.”
“You could stay at my place?” Draco offers, putting his thumb over his shoulder and pointing to the building a block over. “I’ve been living in the pent house, so there’s more than enough room.” I thought about it for a moment, I wouldn’t have to face Ron and I defiantly don’t want to go back there to find him and some chic getting it on. There so many bad things I could avoid going with Draco, but I could start so many bad things to. I’ve never considered being friends with him, hell I don’t even think I thought about befriending him. Now he’s letting me stay at his place for the night? What if he thinks-
“To be safe, Granger, really. That’s all I have in mind.” he raises his hands in defense and I’m instantly thrown into a fit of giggles. “Why not?” I say and he nods, putting out his arm for me to grab. “This way, m'lady.” he guess me to his personal limo and we’re driven away.
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February 7th, 2018
Story time
“I can’t believe this!” Ron speaks, “Your snogging Malfoy?” My dear brother questions me, his voice cracking in disappointment. I walk silently next to Draco, the damn fool who got us into this mess, and follow Professor Snape to Dumbledore’s office. Draco walks closely at my side, still holding a sly smile on his face. I have to admit, he did get Cole to leave me alone. Hell, he hasn’t even spared a glance my way, I don’t feel bad though.
I told him that I wasn’t interested and no matter how much I told him, he kept on persisting. So Draco was actually looking out for me, who would’ve thought? The Slytherin Prince of Hogwarts would kiss the daughter of a Weasly just to make sure someone from another house would stay away from her. Truly I would think it was a rumor if it hadn’t had been me that it happened to. Why? Why would he risk getting into trouble just to get someone to leave me alone? Yes, it was getting creepy and not even Ron could tell him to lay off, but Draco Malfoy and me? Roslyn Weasly? The twin of Ron Weasly; the red head of the Gryffindor trio? The entire scenario is just bizarre on its own. I don’t even know how to think of it with out getting carried off into utter shock.
“Piss off, Ron!” I speak harshly as we come to a halt at the front of the stone Griffen. “50 points from Gryffindor.” Professor Snape says dryly and says the password. I groan, rolling my eyes in the process. I don’t care at the moment, if it was to get Ron to shut up, then take 50 points from our house. Harry will just win them back anyway. The Griffen turns and reveals it’s stair case. We all walk up and into Dumbledore’s office. His eyebrow arches and looks at Snape skeptically. “Mr. Maxwell had an accident in my class so I brought him to get a potion, and found Miss Weasly and Mr. Malfoy in my potions cabinet.” Snape explains and I put my head down, trying not to be one of the two people Dumbledore’s attention was on.
That didn’t work out, as you could’ve guessed. I felt a bit embarrassed and to say the least, disappointed. I never was the one to get in trouble, yet here I am. “And what were you two doing in Professor Snape’s potions closet?” he focuses his attention to the both of us and my cheeks flair into a fiery red. “Kissing, sir.” Draco speaks and believe it or not, he laughed. I shit you not, Albus Dumbledore laughed. Snape didn’t find it amusing as you could’ve told, but the chuckle that came from Dumbledore surprised us all. “And what about the other three?” he sobers up, focusing his gaze into my brother and his two friends. “Ron tried to have a fist fight with Draco, so everyone was trying to brake them up. Hence Harry and Hermione.” I speak quietly, as Dumbledore hums. “I see.” he looks between me and Draco before speaking. “How do you think we should handle this, Snape?”
Shit. We’re all goners.
-
Dumbledore obviously thought all of it was pretty much harmless, but we still got detention. Not so much Harry and Hermione, but that’s because they tried to hold Ron back. Ron wasn’t so lucky, since he acted out violently he had four weeks of detention. Me and Draco were given four weeks also for skipping class and entering the Potions room without permission. Ron wasn’t talking to me at the moment, he’s ignored me entirely. As for Draco, oddly we’ve been getting closer. Ever since my friends found out about the whole thing, they’ve been slowly avoiding me. Like trying to let me down easy, but Draco’s friends didn’t seem to care. They really didn’t care what Draco did, they accepted it. Maybe it was because he was a Malfoy, he could do whatever he wanted. Or maybe it was because they were his friends. Or they were just that self centered. Who knows?
He’s just been really sweet. I mean he’s still as cocky as ever, but he’s kind to me. I don’t know what is, he’s just so fun to hang out with and be around. Its weird. He grabs my hand at random times just to hold. He plays with my hair in class just to make it hard for me to pay attention. He stalks over me like a giant wherever I go, glaring at anyone who gives me a glance. Its like lion with its cub, and it’s giving me butterflies. He’s clearly overprotective of me, but does this name is something more. Sure, as you could’ve guessed, rumors spread around like wild fire. But he didn’t seem to mind, and like he didn’t care. But where does that leave me? Yeah, rumors don’t bother me that much cause that’s what they are. But, where does that leave me with him. Why does he follow me around like some body guard. It’s like we’re hardly ever apart, it’s not like he follows me around like a list puppy. We sort of just follow each other. If one of us wants to do something, the other tags along. This has been going on for week, and it started happening right after the closet incident.
Does this make us more than friends? When did we even become friends? I’m so confused. I don’t know how I’m going to survive with being this way with him. My parents will probably disown me, and I’ll be on an emotional roller coaster. Wait, do I even want to be with him like that? I mean yeah, he’s tall, he’s cute, and actually has a great personality. But, would I date him? I love it when he plays with my hair, and it makes me feel all warm inside when he stands up for me. Could this mean I have a crush on Draco or that I was forming one? This is all just so crazy, it’s freaking me out. I don’t know what to do, other than see how it plays out. Which is probably for the best, since I don’t want to ruin anything that we have going on. Its too perfect right now, at least when I’m with it is. When he’s not around I feel lost and confused. God, I feel like clingy girlfriend.
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February 6th, 2018
Story time
A hand wraps around my face and clamps over my mouth preventing me from screaming. My eyes widen as I get dragged to a supply closet. It all happened so fast I didn’t have time to panic and before I knew it was up against a wall, face to face with Draco Malfoy. Confusion surely on my face, I start yelling at him about what in the bloody hell was he doing. Instead it comes out in mumbles because of the now remembered hand that was blocking any words coming out of my mouth.
He puts a finger to his mouth and silently hushes me and I instantly stop. Slowly, he uncovers my mouth. “Draco, what’s going on?” I ask, as he slides his arms around my waist. Pulling me closer, he leans his mouth over my ear. “Didn’t you say you wanted that Ravenclaw boy to leave you alone?” he answers questionably. His breath tickling my ear, I nod not able to speak because of closeness of him. “Then simply go with it; relax. Follow my lead.” He says before pulling away from my ear and leans in to capture my lips with his. I stand there with utter shock as we lip lock. What in the bloody hell is he doing? What’re we doing?
He pulls away slightly, with a growl he speaks “kiss back, will you.” Trusting him would be a deadly thing to do, but there’s something about him. I look up to his grey eyes and I can’t help but flawlessly comply. Silently, I stand on my toes and we were back into a heated kiss once again. His lips are oddly soft, gentle, yet very demanding. He was all kind of trouble, that I knew for sure, but I couldn’t stop myself from melting at his touch.
I have to admit, my plan for my fourth year of Hogwarts wasn’t ending up in a closet with Draco Malfoy in heated make out session. If my family saw me now they would surely lock me up for good and I wouldn’t see the light of day again. Hell, they might even put me in Azkaban for even being this close to a Malfoy. It was truly exhilarating. The thought of being caught was what kept me on my toes and practically begging for more.
His hands roamed my body respectively, only touching certain areas that would be appropriate. My hand clutches his tie trying to pull him down farther to kiss me, to be closer to me. It was like I needed him to hold me. That sounded really cheesy and sappy. The door swings open, making me instantly pull my lips away from Draco’s and see who opened the door. There stood a wide eyed Cole, and Snape who looks the least but surprised. He had his eyebrow raised and a straight line masked his lips.
It was at that moment I realized how close we were, we were practically on top of each. Not literally, but close enough. Just before Snape is about to speak up and I was going to pull myself away from Draco, none other then Gryffindor’s trio just happens to walk by and catch a glimpse of me in the arms of Slytherin’s most mischievous student.
My brother halts to a stop, as do Harry and Hermine, and shock filled expressions are made. Ron’s face turns from shock to furious. I hope my presence was a good one and that I’ll be remembered, cause I’m so dead after this.
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I'm not even sure if this is a joke
With Life
what do you do with life?
kill it
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Bob Ross was and still is a fucking blessing
“i’m sad and idk how to feel better”
“i don’t know what to draw”
“i always mess up”
“BUT I SUCK”
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I'm not a minion, I'm not a minion, I'm not a- fuck it! I'm a minion.
technically aren’t the people in fandoms that like intensely adore a villainous character and jump straight to another one when they appear also minions by definition
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Hey there millennials, it's me, ya depressed millennial.
If you fall into generation z (born in between 1996-2010) reblog so I can follow. I follow a lot of millennials and wanna find some people in my age group who will most likely share my views as well.
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February 5th, 2018
Story time:
“
Smoke filled eyes and dark attire is what she wore, her midnight hair a mess. And still, beauty was all I saw. A twisted smirk that could send a man to his knees with fear, but yet again, I saw something no one else did; kindness. Rage that would go on for days, that’s what they saw.
I saw regret and remorse. I see things that they would never expect, things that would send them over the edge of surprise. They saw her beauty as an attack, thought of it as a beast and that made them despise her gorgeousness. That’s how they prevent themselves from falling for her tricks. I thought it was remarkable.
To even watch her was a gift; she’s so interesting. The way she looks, the way she acts, the way she moves, speaks. Everything is so mesmerizing about her. At one point or another they fell for her ‘illusions’. That’s what they called it. They didn’t know her looks were natural. That it just came along itself and she uses it as an advantage. "She deceives the weak” I remember him saying. I took that as a challenge.
“She’s wicked” I took that as a choice, either to look at her like that or to see something different. “She will kill you on the spot, or imprison you for her own entertainment.” I was imprisoned. She trapped me in a cage for a few days, before she let me saunter her castle.
The look in her eyes when she watched me, I knew then that she didn’t do anything to her captures. She just watches them and sooner or later they would brake. She wouldn’t do anything to them. She would just watch. It was a game her opponents didn’t know how to play, so I decided to go along with it.
Fight her back in her game of chess. Funny thing, she liked it. She never had anyone to fight back with when it came to mind games. So when she discovered I was playing, she stood clear of being inside my head unless I gave her permission. “It wouldn’t be a fair game if I got inside your head and find all of your little secrets and weaknesses. Now would it?” She spoke with humor in her voice.
Then I didn’t know if she was just demented, or if she was just that childish. That’s when I remember that she does look rather young. But she’s been around for hundreds of years, why wasn’t she a grumpy grandma yapping about how the older generation was so much more of a challenge. I’m not sure what was the main reason they wanted her dead, but I thought she was evil. Like slaughter people; evil.
Destroy the world; evil. But, she just seems bored with the magic she possesses. Like everything else is far more interesting. I feel as if I’m loosing a battle and I don’t know what I’m fighting for. A part of me wants to be free, but another wants to stay here. With her. Living with her was rough at first, but now everyday I wake up and have something to look forward to. Her and only her. I’m getting too close, but I can’t help but get to know her.
She’s perfect in every aspect I can think of, but the problem is that how do I know this is me talking and not her messing with my head? I fear of this not being real, and she truly is what they say. I don’t want to believe it, but I have to prepare myself for anything that may come my way. I’m loosing my guard, but I don’t think I’m the only one. She’s been showing more of herself everyday I’m here, she even smiled today. She’s opening herself up to me little by little and I like it.
She’s not hiding under the mask that’s been labeling her evil for years. But again, she could be toying with me and I’m falling for it. Three weeks, that’s how long I’ve been staying here. I’ve grown a liking to living here, the ghost’s tend to pop up out of no where. But it’s something to hold onto. I can’t stop thinking about her and I don’t know why. She’s beautiful, I’ll admit, but it’s not just her beauty. It’s her. As crazy as it sounds I like being around her. I crave it even. Just to be in her presence hypnotizes me.
That part worries me. I instantly flush like a teenage girl when she talks to me, and choke on my words. I’d never admit to her how she makes me feel, but I know I won’t be able to keep it hidden for long. I wonder if she feels the same when I’m around her. Do I fluster her on he spot, or am I just boy-toy she likes to mess with? I feel way too vulnerable. But what can I do? I’m trapped here.
“
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February 4th, 2018
I slept in until noon, so another story time.
“
There used to be six of us… Now I’m alone. They said that there would be hope; a light at the end of the tunnel. But, when I watched their faces when they took their last breath, that wasn’t joy. That was pure terror. There’s no way in hell I’m going to lay there and get put down like a dog. I have to fight, but I don’t know how to do that without them. They were my friends. My family and once again he took them away from me. Those guys on the ground, laying lifeless and dead were my everything. Now that they’re gone, I might as well be dead too.
"Fight, Charlie.” Her last words are stuck in my head, and I can’t shake the fleeting feeling of if I die I’d let them down. Their faces of consorted pain floods my mind. The memories are uncomfortable to bare with. It’s raining. The thought crams it’s way through my conscious, as the feeling of water drops hit my face. I look to the night sky, but nothing indicates that it was in fact raining. I felt the warm liquid again. I’m crying. Another thought. It wasn’t a surprise, but I was shocked that I hadn’t noticed it.
The messy sound of mud mixed with blood splash to sides, as the murderer himself approaches me. His rugged beard and twisted smirk rubbed me wrong as always, but he brought it with a sickly knowing of his doings. He stood in front of me, looking down on me and spoke. “How’s y'it feel, hmhm? To sit back and watch ya family die once again knowing ya couldn’t do anything?” He kicked the slack of the chain that cuffed me to a wall. I glare up to the monster and clench my mouth shut to prevent my self from talking. “Wha’s wrong, boy? Cat got ya tongue.” He asks. His Irish accent making me want to puke.
There was a slight chuckle from the few others that were beside the damaged house. The new house I called home was now destroyed, but despite my hatred for the asshole, he sure knew how to make it look like a house raid from another party. Keeping my glare, the area fell silent once again. Before I knew it, the back of his hand met my cheek. Collapsing to the ground a gasp escapes my mouth. My eyes soon meet with a pair of dead ones and I’m reminded of their screams. The blood curdling, heart breaking, screeches of my friends fill my thoughts once again. This is all my fault. Their dead because of my stupid reckless behavior.
My body jerks up by him and a punch lands to my nose. The bone cracks and I fall back once again. “Ahh!” My screech is enough for him to keep going and kick my side. Again. And again. And again. Over and over again, to the point I felt I was at the brink of losing consciousness. I thought I didn’t want to to die like this, but it seems a lot easier this way. My mind wonders again to Ambers message.
“Fight, Charlie.” Her whisper was almost too quiet for me to hear, but I knew I heard it clearly. Thats why I nodded to her and mouthed to her that I promise. She died right after. I had to fight. It was the only thing I could do to avenge them. To make them proud of me. To mend my crushed soul and to possibly make me feel less guilty. Ambers voice wrecking my mind with an echo.
His foot drawing for a kick, I quickly turn in time to wrap the chain around his foot and pull him out from underneath himself. He falls to his back and as to seeing this, another man comes towards me. Despite the pain from my chest and throbbing side, I get to my feet. When the man approaches, I give him a quick under-hook to his balls and hunches over. Given the chance I turn him around, wrap the chains around his neck and hold him in a choke hold with them. He struggles with the chains but there was no use.
My abuser stood with a menacing scowl and the two others around me, raised their guns. And without a fleeting moment, a gunshot rang out. Darkness overcame my vision, and I could feel my body crumble to the ground. Fuck, I’m dead.
Before you go and freak out and think this is some spoiler for the end, you’re wrong. My death is the beginning. That’s right, you heard me correctly. My end was the start. Crazy, isn’t it? The funny thing is, is that the pure terror I saw in their eyes was most likely Hell they were entering. Me? I entered a much more complicated art form.
I got stuck in the god-damn veil. The gateway to heaven and hell. How you ask? Apparently I have unfinished business and when I finish that business, God decides if I go to heaven or not. But, just between you and me; I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell.
“
***
1:21 pm
I woke up an hour ago and got in the shower, (I now realize that I don’t always tell you guys when I take a shower, in that case I take one everyday, I don’t just take a shower whenever) and got straight into cosplay.
Lucifer from The Devil Is A Part-Timer. Hopefully it turns out okay.
We should know today of we get the house that we want to buy, since there’s so many offers.
I just really hope we get it, we have a big family and we need that big space that house has.
I’m stressing over it bad. But if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.
***
4:25 pm
My cosplay sucked, it was awful. The worst one yet. It sucks because I got a specific wig to go with it.
I’m kind of mad at myself, but I couldn’t have known. It just really sucks.
Anyways, we don’t know yet if we’ll get the house or not, but we’ll probably know the next time I check in. See you then.
***
8:26 pm
We didn’t get the house.
***
Yours truly,
The Girl Who Ignores The World
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February 3rd, 2018
I slept in until noon, so another story time.
“
"Cut off?!” I yelled.
My mother flinched slightly at my voice, but father acted as if he was expecting this. “You’ve been grounded, not only for sneaking off somewhere-and not telling us where you’re going-but you’ve also ditched the security guards. Not to mention being a royal brat!” My father spoke with a harsh tone. “Harold!” My mother scolded. “Circe, what your father is trying to say is that you could’ve been hurt or kidnapped again. And we don’t want that. We love you, so that’s why we’re doing this. It’s to protect you.” She tried to explain, but father just rolled his eyes.
“May I cut in?” A voice said from behind me. I looked back and he stepped up. I said, “Yes,” just as my father said “No.” Sebastian looked at me as I nodded, “You see, My Mistress was with me the whole entire time. She wasn’t in harms way, I assure you.” He said politely. Father simply rolled his eyes and ignored him. “You are to abandon all servants, they are no longer under your orders anymore.” Father icily spoke. Sebastian pretended to have a shock face, but it was clearly seen that he wasn’t fazed. I mentally groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. I don’t have time for this, I need to find the killer before he strikes again. The police department says that they’ll handle it, but I’ve seen the way they handle things and I don’t like it. Not one bit. The Queen is counting on me. I shall not let her down.
“Sebastian, you are excused.” My Father proclaimed, but Sebastian didn’t move an inch. Not even so much as blink. Father didn’t like that. “Leave!” Father raised his voice. And once again, Sebastian didn’t move. This time I chuckled, and this time I actually did it aloud. Mother looked at me was like I was a lunatic and Father looked at me with anger. This should be fun. “I said leave! This instant!” Mother flinched at his voice and tried to keep her posture. I knew she was just about to break down. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. “Who is it?” Father spoke coldly. The door opened slightly and revealed Michael. He was a servant I had hired after I returned. Sebastian found him on a “job” as he called it, he has incredible eyesight. Yet, I gave him glasses to make it less incredible. He gotten used to the glasses, but he’s as clumsy as giraffe.
“What is it?” Mother silently sighed. He held a tray with tea-cups and a pot of tea.
“You know what, why don’t you bring the whole bunch in.” Father ordered. Michaels eyes widened, looking at Sebastian for a brief moment. As if asking if he was serious. “Yes, Master Harold!” Michael said quickly, rushing out of the room to get the others. Soon enough, Michael came back with the Cook; Beverly, and the Gardener; Francis.
“
***
2:03 pm
My sisters came over, my eldest sister went to work and left my other older sister with my mom, little brother and I.
My step dad was obviously at work, having been there since 6 in the morning.
Nothing is really happening. So I’ll check in later.
***
6:27 pm
Nothing is really happening, I’m just trying to clean up the kitchen a little bit. But that’s pretty much it.
I’ll check in later.
***
10:31 pm
Well it’s kind of late and I just made two different batches of cookies with my older sister. Oatmeal raisin and no bakes.
We had instant oatmeal and were craving sweets, what’d you want us to do?
Become sims and aimlessly walk around the house, looking in the fridge, then go back to pacing?
Hell no.
Its kind of been our go to, to bake cookies, or to make no-bakes. We just end up doing it because we want something to do before bed.
And to do something about our sweet tooths.
Anyways, goodnight to all and I’ll check in tomorrow.(If I don’t wake up dead)
Yours truly,
The Girl Who Ignores The World
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February 2nd, 2018
Since everything got fuggered up with posting all my saved drafts, there’s going to be a lot of story times.
Here ya go:
“
Pidge ended up falling asleep in the middle of the night resting against Keith. He let her rest for awhile, knowing she was having a bit of hard time with everything on her mind. She was teenager with the universe on her shoulders, sure she had help from everyone. But it was weighing just like it was on everyone. It was some time before Keith picked her up and carried her to her bedroom, tucking her into bed. He hoped he didn’t wake her in the time he picked her up and put her to bed. He left her room and headed to his old one where he was spending the night. His room was the same, everything in it was. It was just as empty as it was before, just a bed and it’s clear floor. He decided to stay at the castle for the night, he was working with the team figure out strategy’s to protect the universe. He had stayed a bit later than he intended so he stayed a the night. Hoping to get some shut-eye for a couple hours before the morning, he lies down and closes his eyes, slowly drifting to slumber.
-
Pidge wakes up to being in her bed, a much different place than where she fell asleep. She slowly stands and steps over the mounds of mess in her room, to her closet. She does her morning routine like she has for the last two days; take a shower, brush her teeth, dress in seemingly dark clothing, and always making sure her eyeliner is as dark as her soul. She grabs her towel and rubs it through her wet hair. Hoping to help dry the dark mess that laid upon her head. She walks out of her room, continuing to brush the towel through her hair, and heads towards the kitchen to get some breakfast. As she walks, she thinks about the events of last night. Her cheeks flush a bright red, as she tries to shake the thoughts from her head. She needed to talk to the team and explain how she felt, and apologize for the she’s been acting. Not think about Keith. She suddenly stops, her eyes widening at the mere thought of it. (No, way. That can’t be it.) She shakes those thoughts too, and continues to walk down the hall.
She enters the cafeteria and grabs her breakfast. Filling the white bowl with green goop and sitting down next to Hunk who happened to be eating as well. They all were, being silent, not even dating to look Pidge’s way. Matt had a glum and disapproving look on his face. Pidge was feeling tension of being around, even facing them was a bit of tensioner. Pidge cleared her throat a bit, getting the attention of some. "I would like to say something,” this got the attention of everyone. They all looked at her, waiting to hear what she had to say. “I would like to apologize for the way I’ve been acting. I was mistreating all of you, and as a team mate and a friend, I shouldn’t do that.” She speaks sincerely, her heart pounding against her chest. Worried that they won’t forgive her.
“Pidge, it’s okay. We’re sorry if we came off like we were judging you. We were just worried about you.” Allura speaks, giving Pidge a warming smile. Shiro nods, “Yeah, we weren’t trying to make you feel attacked. We just wanted to know if you were okay, and the way we handled it wasn’t the best way to do it.” he says, giving the same smile as Allura. Everyone does. Pidge looks over to her older brother and he agrees. Saying along the lines of “yeah, what they said.” The day went on like this, with them being the team they’ve always been. But more accepting of their friends new fashion choice, and one being less anxious as to how they feel about it.
-
Pidge sat alone in her room, her mind was reeling back to the thoughts she had earlier. (Could that really be why I’m dressing like this, or doing this?) She thinks to her self. (Could he be the reason why?) Her cheeks flush once again and she’s instantly reminded of last night. The way he had wrapped his arm around her and let her lean against him. The way he carried her to bed and probably laid the blanket over her, tucking her in. (Could I possibly have a crush on Keith?) Pidges eyes widen at the thought, (No, no, no. It can’t be. I can’t possibly like him like that, could I?) Her thoughts were interrupted by the devil himself. Keith peaks through the opened doors, “knock, knock.” He says, knocking his knuckles against the wall. He takes a step over a pile of mess and takes a seat on her bed. He was wearing his Blade Of Marmora suit, the only thing that was missing was his retractable mask. “You doing okay?” he asks lightly, giving her a little smile. Pidges cheeks flare, (Oh, I’ve got it bad.) “Yeah, I’m fine.” She says, looking away from him and down at the floor so he couldn’t see her face. “Are you sure, you look a little red?” He asks and Pidge just nods, humming. “Well, okay. I came in here to tell you that I was going back to the Blade of Marmora, and that I’ll see you guys in a few days.” Keith explains and Pidge internally frowns. She knew he had to go, but she didn’t want him to.
Pidges new found crush was more than what it seemed, he was her friend, someone she use to call a team mate. They fought together, stood by each other, even lived with each other in the castle. She was going to miss, especially since he just left the team not too long ago. “Okay, well, I’ll see you then.” Pidge looks up at him and for some reason, she didn’t know why. She hugged him, wrapping her arms around his waist and buried her head into his chest with rosy cheeks. Keith was hesitant, sporting a blush of his own before wrapping his arms around. Just a quick hug before he left, but of course not saying “Goodbye, Pidge.” As he left, Pidges face turned an even more bright red, (What was I thinking?) Pidges thoughts wonder more, until she’s left with burning cheeks for nearly an hour. This crush she has on Keith, she knew she needed to get over it. But, something about it made her smile and she realized then that this crush was going to be the end of her.
“
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February 1st, 2018
12:32 pm
Mom woke me up around 11 and I got in the shower because of mother nature. That’s right, you read correctly.
I woke up to a murder scene on my pants. I fucking hate my period, and you know what else is happening.
Cramps.
I feel bad for any guy that has to read this, but I don’t care at the moment. Feel my pain and you’ll understand.
***
3:26 pm
Since it’s Thursday I’m going to catch up on supernatural. I’ve been accidentally skipping it every week.
So here I am, hiding in my room, getting ready to watch the next three episodes of Supernatural that I’ve missed.
This isn’t good in my mental health, but whatever. I’ll find a way to get over it.
***
6:54 pm
I just finished watching supernatural, the next episode will be on soon and I’m feeling tired of sharing at a screen and that’s really unlikely of me.
But I should be okay, another hour will be fine.
I really want to start working out, my mom does too, but we lack motivation so we’re going to have to work on that.
But I think it’s because we’re both kind of depressed. Its usually what happens around this time of year.
We end up being sad beans and it’s so depressing. Ha, being depressed is depressing, who knew?
***
10:07 pm
Welp, I don’t even know what just happened, but I’m gonna go to bed now and attempt to be on a better schedule.
Who am I kidding, I’ll end up staying up until two in the morning.
Anyways, goodnight to all and I’ll check in tomorrow.(If I don’t wake up dead)
Yours truly,
The Girl Who Ignores The World
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January 31st, 2018
Another writing post.
“
It was hard for the team to process that Pidge was so into being by herself again. She hung around the team, sure. But she was found to be alone most of the time. It was like she didn’t want to be around them, it not only concerned them, but hurt them as well. Pidge was oblivious, she was too caught up into what she was doing that she hadn’t noticed. She also felt hurt though, her friends didn’t accept her new look and she was upset. Her friends meant the world to her, and she couldn’t help but feel judged by them for the way she looked. She even felt attacked and felt like there was something wrong with her. Her anxiety became well aware of it and she felt like she was walking on eggshells around them. It even made her lash out at them, and she didn’t even mean to. She was struggling with the way she felt, the only thing that really made sense was being misunderstood. I guess that’s how you feel when you decide to dress like this, to act like this.
She didn’t mean to act out the way that she did. But everything was weighing on her and she snapped. She couldn’t handle it anymore, the pressure for to her and now she didn’t know what to do.
-
It was late and all of the paladins had gone to bed, except for one. The one that piloted the Green Lion, she was sitting in an empty room with a big window. The window showed space, and everything that was in it. She sat there on the floor, trying to find peace, maybe even sleep if it graced her. She was having a hard time sleeping, her mind was too busy thinking of everything that happened today. She had gotten into a fight with her team mates, her friends. Even her family. It wasn’t like any fight she had had before with them, with anyone. Things were said, people were hurt, and she felt all these emotions she couldn’t handle. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. They were all too much to handle at the same time, so she tried to find peace. This is where she found it, usually it would have been the lab, or her lion, or even a video game. But no, she found it in an empty room with too much space. (Literally) She wanted to sleep, but something wouldn’t let her. So, now we’re here. Having not a damn point as to why she could find peace here. She sighs, bringing her knees to her chest. Wishing she had brought a blanket, she shivers. It wasn’t long until she could hear light pats of feet hitting the ground, someone was heading up to her and she internally groaned. (I just want to be left alone.)
Keith sits down next to her, the culprit to bringing Pidge company and watches out the large window as well. "This use to be my favorite spot in the castle,” he speaks and this time Pidge groans out loud. “what?” he asks and she gives him an annoyed look. Keith chuckles and nudges her with his elbow. “Come on, a little human interaction never killed anybody.” he says, not fully believing what he said just as much as she did. Pidge goes back to watching space, silently. Leaving him in a silence, before actually speaking. “I know why you’re here.” She says, glaring out into the nearly empty void. Keith gives her a glance, before too returning his gaze to space. “They’re worried about you, Pidge.”
“I know, but I don’t understand why. I’m still me. I’m just dressing a little different that’s all…” Keith nods, watching her gaze into space. Watching stars shoot from places and others staying in place, hardly moving. She pulled her knees tighter to her chest, burying her face into them. “Are you sure that’s all there is, Pidge? Nothing new about your attitude?” he asks and she gives a hardened look to the ground. Was she giving off a new attitude? Is that why they were so worried? “I guess maybe a little, but that shouldn’t be the reason they treat me so differently!” Pidge countered. She was being stubborn like always, but she was a teenager still trying to find herself. She was holding onto something, she didn’t what it was yet, but she knew that she wanted it. “Are you sure it’s just them that’s treating you differently?” Keith asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. Pidge hesitated for a moment, (was I treating them different this whole time?)
She looks up at Keith and frowns. “I’ve been doing it to, haven’t I?” She asks, and Keith nods. They sit silently for a moment, thinking about everything. They continue to watch space as everything floats and shoots from places, letting their minds wonder. “I should probably apologize…” She speaks, filling the empty silence that consumed them. “Probably.” Keith smiles, as he wraps an arm around Pidge’s shoulders. Heat rises to her cheeks as she leans into Keith. They spend the night awake watching the stars and planets they pass, asteroids too. The silence never dulled, it was peaceful and relaxing. Much different than the day that would come tomorrow. But that could wait, right now, all that mattered was that moment. But nothing lasts forever.
“
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