lestatbiandaughterofcain

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

“your body, my choice” i will blow a hole through you with my shotgun

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

hayden anhedonia, angel diaz of vyva melinkolya on vibraphone, and ryan brewer of good night and good morning on guitar

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

I’ve been playing Immortality (2022) and I’m obsessed with the nuance it manages to hold and how it successfully threads the needle on fairly specific and complex topics while the story itself is so entirely nonlinear. The gameplay style of sorting through randomized clips ensures that the developers have fairly little control over what order the player finds the scenes in.

I’m not finished with it yet. I have no idea how far I am in the game lol. But like six hours in, at least, I’m really intrigued by the way it delves into art as a concept; is it consuming, is it fulfilling, is it worth the sacrifices made to create it, or the social evils that can surround it, etc. I particularly like that the three fictional films it centers on are interesting but simultaneously fairly low brow.

I’m also enjoying the way it gets into women’s role in art, and the gendered constraints of how they are historically portrayed within a narrative (often by men) but also when it comes to being an artist and the questions of exploitative practices, and lack of respect or recognition.

And the game actually employs its immortal, unaging protagonist in a way that intelligently explores these themes.

There’s something really interesting happening with her three main film roles and how her first character (literally Matilda from the Monk by MG Lewis) is basically an entirely stylized fantasy. A destructive and seductive force of nature, with no interiority of her own, who only exists to corrupt the titular monk. Then her second character is a standard femme fatale, a model who kills her artist lover and again… corrupts the strait laced and moral detective protagonist who’s trying to solve the murder. This character is explicitly acknowledged to be a more grounded and real role, she’s closer to a real, flawed person, but she’s still basically a vector for titillation and is vilified for it. By the third (dual) role, decades later, she’s progressed to being a genuine protagonist. But for that, her character is split into a very literalized virgin and whore dichotomy. These sides are symbolically fused by the third act of this fictional movie with the virginal character’s death, with the whore stepping into her place and finally becoming a fully realized person. But even that comes with the deliberate framing of something unachievable without a death and rebirth occurring. Without her being sanded down to a sort of palatability by it.

I’m also very interested in these films being in-universe lost media that was never actually completed or widely released. And how that may tie into its themes of recognition and the importance or lack thereof of having an audience.

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

The problem is that America has beaten down its people for decades and gotten them weak and desperate and now promises a way out, a way to transcend and rise above, through selling out their fellow man. They encourage contempt and hatred as one way ticket to not being included with the masses being death marched to poverty or imprisonment or whatever other bitter end surely awaits the people they’re told are beneath them. An embarrassingly large chunk of white men are just straight up nazis these days as a way to dissociate from the rest of the carnage around them, even if they’re broke and uneducated and from an impoverished background themselves. They’ll vote for and align themselves with anything for a taste of power and control that makes them feel a little less helpless. The same goes for minorities. They’ll punch down if they think it’ll get them somewhere, even if in reality they’re punching sideways. I don’t know what else to say, really. Everybody is so incredibly hateful. We are a loveless, disrespectful nation. We are so spread thin by our government that we would sell each other out in a heartbeat for an ounce of relief. This is what we’ve come to.

It’s not even about Trump at this point. He’s gonna get in office and do whatever he does and it’s gonna be a mess but whatever. This is indicative of deeper problem. This is just the ugly consequence of the already present reality in this country that we all just despise each other. There is no solidarity and there is no love. Trump being in office or not doesn’t change the fact that America is a breeding ground for violent hatred. Trump has given people a shining example of how to give in to the worst parts of your human nature and make it the problem of everyone around them. I don’t even know what we’re supposed to do about that. I don’t know if that’s something we can come back from. And if anything COULD be done about it, Trump certainly wouldn’t do it. Honestly, Kamala probably wouldn’t have either. We are so deeply fucked.

However, I must say, if you voted for Trump, I hope that peace never finds you. Instead, I hope clarity strikes you someday like a clap of lightning and you have to live the rest of your life with the knowledge and guilt of what you’ve done and who you are as a person.

Love yall. Shit is so bleak but the world keeps spinning until it doesn’t, I guess. We can’t count on the government for literally even a shred of progress or hope so just keep up the good fight in your own personal lives. That’s literally the only thing to be done at this point. Stay safe out there. Maybe buy a gun.

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Ladies if you haven’t already joined the 4B movement, join today!

No dating, no sex, no kids, no marriage! If they don’t think our bodies and rights matter then they have no right to have access to us period.

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

americans, send a letter to the white house

submit directly to the president click the first option and select Election Security as your reason here is a copy paste for those who want/need it "32 fake bomb threats were called in to democratic leaning poll places, rendering polls to be closed for at least an hour. A lot of people are reporting their ballots weren't counted for various reasons that are not sound (signature invalidation, information that vote counter could not have had.) This all occurred in swing states. (Pennsylvania, Nevada, Georgia). 2025 president candidate Donald Trump has hinted at foul play in the public press for months now. This calls for a requirement of an investigation for tampering/interference/voter fraud, not just a recount."

if you are under 18, do not fret, you can still send the letter.

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

These are some thoughts and observations based on recent news; if you do not wish to engage with this or pay attention to it at this time, please do not read. This message is intended to offer insight to those who might feel in need of it.

The first thing to do is to practice self-care, and bring mindfulness to your acts of self-care: whether that is a long walk, a long shower, a longer allowance of sleep, time with loved ones, or cooking delicious food—whatever self-care looks like for you, please prioritize doing as much of that as you can for a while.

The second thing is to widen the circle, and bring attention to your loved ones: family, friends, coworkers, internet friends, children, pets—it’s a really good time to connect, listen, and offer compassion, support, and love to the other people in your life that you really care about. And if you are someone who experiences difficulty with accepting support from others, this is a great time to practice that as well.

The third thing is to widen the circle once more, and bring your attention to your community. There is a lot of work to do, and about the only thing we can say for sure about the future is that there will be a lot more: your help is needed, your help is invaluable, there is a need for education, solidarity, compassion, innovation, and determination within a community framework. Your hands and voice and will and heart can make a tremendous difference in the lives of so many, many people: but you need to do those first two steps before you can meaningfully and responsibly engage with this one.

And finally, I find it helpful to remember (and you’ll see that this connects to all three steps above) that all oppressors want those that they would oppress to feel isolated, afraid, and hopeless. So when you find yourself feeling those things, check and see if there is something you can do to move to a different emotional space, either by getting help, or through application and engagement, or through focus and deliberation (personally I tend to fall back on defiance, stubbornness, or spite—the three main qualities that helped me make it to adulthood. Hey, I mean, whatever works).

I'm here if you need me.

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

if trump wins i’m going to elon musk’s house with a metal pipe

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Separation

@silkenweinberg

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

shot by jason nocito for homme girls

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Hello very much :)

I thought about making a video on this topic but I decided to just write it out in a post instead. Either way, I'd like to speak a bit more specifically about a drunk rant I made on a separate account the other day that was not as well put together as I'd like to stand as my viewpoints on the subject.

tl:dr, I just feel as though there's a lack of sincerity in the world these days. I speak from personal experience as an artist putting things out into the world, yes, but also as a human being interacting with other human beings on the regular, and I have had my sentiments echoed by many other friends of mine over the past year or so, both artists and non-artists alike. Most of this will be framed through the consumption of art, because that's my own personal passion in this life of mine, but also the way we interface with each other and process the world around us. Now, don't get me wrong, I love to laugh. I love a good joke, and I love lightheartedness as much as the next person. But I saw someone this morning put it very succinctly in response to my rant, something along the lines of "don't let the joke about it overtake the source material." It feels as though it's a common occurrence these days to take a pinch of something with a lot more weight to it, often a humorous bit, and then run with it. Everyone then gathers around the pinch to ooh and ahh and consume it as a whole. Context is immediately lost, the legacy of that body of work becomes its own caricature, and anyone discovering that body of work via said caricature may forgo a piece of art they would otherwise love because "there's nothing there". And don't think this is me griping at those making jokes at the expense of my art. I make jokes about my own art. But when the joke dies, yet continues to grow, and spread, and finds its way back to me both on the internet and off for months (or, God forbid, years) to come, I can't help but say to myself; what the fuck is happening. Artists have fled the public and all their outlets for personality and expression outside the medium because they feel ridiculed. It's not even just their art. Katya comes to mind, speaking on how she went on youtube live a few years back in literal tears talking about police brutality and the injustices marginalized communities were facing at the hands of the government. Meanwhile, the entire comment section "yass" and "mother"ed her in barrages, not paying attention to anything she had to say. I get asked about when I'm dropping Preacher's Daughter vinyl en masse in response to my Palestine fundraiser links. It's everywhere and it's inescapable. No one can be serious for even two seconds.

This may all sound obnoxious; so be it. I tie strings from this central problem to many other complaints I have heard repeated ad nauseam the past few years. For example; the death of subculture. Goth, punk, whatever, you name it. People who built an underground counterculture movement with a rich history based on a love of art, community, and otherwise misunderstood worldviews and experiences deemed foul or inappropriate. Now we see bits taken from it, the terms and the looks, without any of the meat, spread thin across society as a whole. Words mean nothing anymore. One can rest on history and say they were a part of it when in fact, they did nothing. No appreciation or understanding to be had for the love and passion that built it. No serious interaction with the culture's very real confines and boundaries, just mindless co-opting. This has just as much to do with late stage capitalism as it does with excessive humor in lieu of sincerity, but it's certainly both. Again, this may sound like a silly complaint, but I don't care. The collective ennui we're all experiencing has a very real reason, whether we're ready to acknowledge or not.

In a twisted thread, it's even tied to our lack of care to change the world around us. People cheer on the idea of communism, but who among us is ready to give up the convenience of society as it stands? Amazon prime, doordash, fresh fruit out of season as I saw someone mention in a similar post last week; the marvels of modern technology. Do we really think these things can last in a society that isn't actively destroying the planet? We talk about the idea of something all day long but have very little to do with the actuality of what we're talking about. And don't think I consider myself exempt from this problem. I couldn't even try to claim to be. It seems nearly silly to be complaining, then, about the way people consume the art around them these days as we creep towards what feels like the end of days. But as long as I still draw breath, I must complain.

I miss genuine passion. As an autistic individual, when I'm alone, sometimes I cannot contain myself with how things make me feel. The music I listen to, the video games I play, the books I read. I almost feel the need to run through the house and scream in everyone's face how I'm feeling. It feels good to love intensely. Now, I won't pretend like autistic people haven't been bullied for this since the dawn of time, but there is surely a noticeable lack of passion in everything these days. Everyone can feel it, everyone is talking about it. Everything now is "cringe", or "doing too much", or "not that serious". Actually, it is that serious. Insecurity in one's own deeper feelings may not be a new thing, but a culture that seems to promote this eschewing of them does seem to be a new evil. The tone of the internet has completely shifted. I spent most of my time here when I first discovered it a little over a decade ago on Zelda forums and other chat-based websites, talking about how much I loved whatever fandom I was in at the time and having genuine and memorable interactions with like-minded individuals who felt the same way I do. Now, you have two options; if you hate media, you rip it to shreds, and if you love it, you word-salad it to death and parrot a joke about it that someone else said. I'm not saying people don't still talk seriously in a heartfelt way about the things they love, but it does not seem to be the initial reaction anymore. Do I have a solution to this problem? Of course not. I'm a 26 year old girl posting on a tumblr blog. If I had a solution, this is not where I would be dropping it. But conversation is God to man, and I believe in the ability to change things from the inside out. We make the rules, and we can change them.

Before I go, I'd like to just clarify that I am very grateful for my career, grateful to anyone who has ever given me and my art the time of day, grateful to anyone who has ever come up to me and connected with me over my work, and grateful for a life where someone making too many jokes is the worst part of my day. I do not think I am better nor smarter than anyone on or off the internet. I am simply a girl with big feelings and I enjoy talking about them with other people with big feelings, and it makes me sad when something avoidable or unnecessary gets in the way of that.

All in all, I love to love, and I love all of you, I love my life, I love this record, and mi amore vo- i mean.... oh, whatever.

(Feel free to sound off in the comments and please be nice to each other)

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Aggrandization

@silkenweinberg

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Punish, off my new project Perverts, is out November 1st.

Perverts will release January 8th.

Single art by @silkenweinberg ♡

[lestatbiandaughterofcain]

Louis: we've been together for 77 years, Daniel.

Armand: 47 more than he did with Lestat.

Dreamstat, in the corner chair: