les-amemes-javert - Tumblr blog

[les-amemes-javert]

You: So do you have a preference for men or women?

Me: *gazing deeply into the distance* I have a preference for justice

[les-amemes-javert]

My intern wishes you to know that you are both wrong and I am a Ravenclaw. I do not know why she feels so strongly about this, but I would never miss an opportunity to discredit you, Montparnasse.

What's your Hogwarts house?

I do not know what that is.

Edit: I texted my intern, she knows about these young hip things, and she said, “Sir, you didn’t go to Hogwarts, you went to Durmstrang.”I do not have the slightest idea what a durmstrang is, but make of that what you will.

[les-amemes-javert]

I woke up to a lengthy e-mail from my intern, Mademoiselle Perreault (@pursuedbydeer), discussing terms that I frankly do not care to find out what they mean. I quote the ending for your pleasure: “[S]o I would say Gryffindor due to your personal qualities, though Ravenclaw is more in line with your values, and the Sorting Hat takes ones wishes into account, so Ravenclaw is probably correct.”

I still don’t know quite what is going on, but I hope someone gets some satisfaction out of this.

What's your Hogwarts house?

I do not know what that is.

Edit: I texted my intern, she knows about these young hip things, and she said, “Sir, you didn’t go to Hogwarts, you went to Durmstrang.”I do not have the slightest idea what a durmstrang is, but make of that what you will.

[les-amemes-javert]

What's your Hogwarts house?

I do not know what that is.

Edit: I texted my intern, she knows about these young hip things, and she said, “Sir, you didn’t go to Hogwarts, you went to Durmstrang.”I do not have the slightest idea what a durmstrang is, but make of that what you will.

[les-amemes-javert]

While I appreciate the offer, I am not in need of comfort. I am not sad. I do not get sad.

Buddy,,,, are u okay??? Who hurt u??

I am not you “buddy, civilian. As for who hurt me, I don’t like to talk about how I was born in prison to a mother who was not allowed to see me as much as she wanted and was abandoned by my father before I was even born, leaving me to be raised by distant relatives who further prevented me from seeing my dear mother even when she was released due to new evidence proving that she was wronfully incarcerated, framed for a crime she did not commit. So I won’t talk about that.

[les-amemes-javert]

You should know that I have filled out and handed in a form accusing you of slander, libel, and defamation to add to your already massive case file, young man.

@les-amemes-javert dances ballet, pass it on

[les-amemes-javert]

You Monsier Pontmercy is missing? Tell me quickly what’s the story? Who saw him last and why and where?

@les-amemes-javert I really need your help.

Please.

[les-amemes-javert]

How do you feel about the Nutcracker?

Pyotr Chaykovsky is always a treat, though I do not care for all the silly dancing around in tights and tutus people seem compelled to add to the symphonies. Superfluous and undignified.

[les-amemes-javert]

Buddy,,,, are u okay??? Who hurt u??

I am not you “buddy, civilian. As for who hurt me, I don’t like to talk about how I was born in prison to a mother who was not allowed to see me as much as she wanted and was abandoned by my father before I was even born, leaving me to be raised by distant relatives who further prevented me from seeing my dear mother even when she was released due to new evidence proving that she was wronfully incarcerated, framed for a crime she did not commit. So I won’t talk about that.

[les-amemes-javert]

One minute there then he was gone. Forever.

My boss says this “blog” is too inactive. I asked what they expect me to “post” then, and they suggested I post about my personal life. I fail to see how that should be interesting, but apparently my Christmas bonus will be increased by this extra responsibility, so here goes:

I saw a bird today. It was a crow. It reminded me of my father, whom I never knew.

That was far too personal.

[les-amemes-javert]

My boss says this “blog” is too inactive. I asked what they expect me to “post” then, and they suggested I post about my personal life. I fail to see how that should be interesting, but apparently my Christmas bonus will be increased by this extra responsibility, so here goes:

I saw a bird today. It was a crow. It reminded me of my father, whom I never knew.

That was far too personal.

[les-amemes-javert]

I have no strong feelings about Christmas beyond it being a celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus. What I have strong feelings about are those infernal Christmas songs they play non-stop on the radio come November. When I am sitting in the car on a stake-out I do not want to listen to this... Bubble Guy... for 16 hours straight. I want some Bach, maybe some smooth jazz if I am feelin especially excited, but even the classical channels lose their minds come Christmas time!      I suppose I do have strong feelings about this if I get riled up enough to use an exclamation mark.

the first person to play micheal bublé is getting smacked I’m looking at u @les-amemes-courf

[les-amemes-javert]

In light of recent events, I feel I must make a statement. This post is not sanctioned by my superiors, nor do I care if they should see it.      I view my job as a police officer not as a profession designed to put delinquents behind bars purely because the one percent deems them to be undesirables. To me, my duty is to fight corruption within people, within organisations, within society itself. Thusly, my focus is not limited to the personal corruption of criminals who kill for sport, I must also stand up to corruption within law-enforcement organisations such as the Police Force and our prison system.      It has come to my attention that a certain Monsieur Montparnasse, whom I recently jailed, experienced unlawful mistreatment during his stay at the correctional facility, at the hands of people I expected to uphold the same just standards as I do. Evidently, not all officers of the law understand the importance of fair treatment even of convicts, and this being the case I feel must speak up and take a stand in order to rid law-enforcement of this disgusting corruption.      I understand that those of you belonging to the social justice organisation Les Amis de l’ABC plan to organise a protest against the sort of mistreatment Monsieur Montparnasse has experienced, and though I firmly believe the young man to be guilty of crimes horrendous enough to put him behind bars for years, I shall support your fight to ensure that his prison sentence be the only punishment he would get, not physical mistreatment. When you organise this protest, you can count on having at least one Police Officer there to escort you. I shall propose that my fellow Officers join me in this, but there is no guarantee that they will agree.

I shall see you at the protest. Yours, Detective Inspector Javert

[les-amemes-javert]

I have been instructed to present the internet with pictures of myself in civilian clothes. Apparently it helps the public to relate to the police force. Also, in the words if my superiors, “All the kids are doing it these days, we need to look ‘hip’”. Since I do not believe in “selfies”, these are the most recent pictures I could find of me. I believe they were taken sometime in the sixties, when I was but a young boy running errands for the local police station. I hope you get something out of looking at these pictures. I don’t.

[les-amemes-javert]

What would I be? Not that I care. I’m just talking to myself, having a philosophical pondering. I don’t care. Leave me alone.

If each of the Amis were an animal, what would they be?

I put a lot of consideration into this and even did research.

I’m an elephant

Feuilly is a lion

Jolllly is a quokka

Cosette is a lark

Combeferre is an Acherontia styx (type of moth)

Marius is a blue footed booby or a deer

Courfeyrac is a love bird

Grantaire is a ram

Bossuet is a sea lion

Enjolras is a lynx

Musichetta is a wolverine

Eponine is a wolf

Montparnasse is a raven

Claquesous is a black footed ferret

Babet is both a crocodile and a plover bird

Azelma is a cat

Gavroche is a platypus

Jehan is a (venus flytrap) poison dart frog

[les-amemes-javert]

Is it illegal to put a twelve year old on a leash?

Not if said twelve-year-old goes by the name Gavroche.

[les-amemes-javert]