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Since I am out of percocet, I have started using kratom again. I am not an addict in any form, unless you classify needles spending, then I am fully addicted to such. Kratom I have been taking for about a year. It does not give the same effects as percocet, kratom comes in many different strains, I estimate maybe 12-15 individual strains. The strain I typically use is "Bali Gold" and its effects include: Relief from opiate withdrawal, mood boost, sedation, and relief for anxiety. The mood boost is almost.......unreal, at times. The normal dosage is 6 500mg capsules, however, like other things, one builds a tolerance, allowing one to break the walls of tolerance and take more, which in turn requires one to take more in order to reach the desired level of euphoria/"high" that accompanies kratom. For me, I now take 13 500mg pills, anything below does absolutely nothing.
I am in a state of wellbeing now. I am laughing, I am smiling, I am happy. I am talkative. I am positive. I am creative. All in the name of nature.
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Day 1 Of Self Quarantine: I am not sick, medically. Our company offered us a 2 week unpaid vacation in case we were at all concerned with the condition this virus has turned our lives into. And due to my ever growing stress and tiredness, I took said 2 weeks. Mostly to reflect, relax, and repurpose.
I am currently laying in bed, very tired mentally, but fully awake physically. I have my dog next to me, so it isn't all that bad. My upstairs neighbors, half of the root of my stress and tiredness in life, are not home, and I pray they do not return for some time.
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I've finished my percocet. I had recieved 13 of them on Thursday, and finished them exactly 45 seconds ago. I feel.....at peace, for the moment. All my worries are gone. My energy is returning to my tired body and soul. Drugs are not the answer to being happy, they are not the answer to any problems anyone may have (with the exception of their intended use), but for me, they help in some of the darkest, most stressful times of my being. Especially with the way the world has been since late December.
I find comfort in these drugs. My father died from a heroin overdose when I was 6 years old. But I pray I do not follow in his footsteps. For I use these drugs often, but when doing so, I set limits, and my body tells me when those limits have been reached, for going above and beyond those limits makes me physically sick.
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I left work early today. I am over occurrences so I expect to be fired. But I have come to peace within myself over this company. Walmart used to be a place I'd come to and be eager to work at. But now, the days drag on. The managers torment everyone below them. The coronavirus situation adds to the mental anguish that is my daily work life.
I do not know how long I can go before my time with this company is up. I do not know how much more mental harm I can take. It's turning me into someone I simply am not.
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I have 2 5mg pieces left. I am done for the night, however. I have been stress eating lately and just ate an entire tray of dinosaur chicken nuggets. Before that, half a pound of cajun turkey and 6 pieces of rye bread. And before that, 4 yogurt smoothie things.
Vinesauce and sleep it is, my friends.
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The only downside I've noticed about snorting percocet is if I snort too much, my vision slightly blurs. Even sitting in front of my TV about 6ft away, it's hard to see clearly.
Haha, get it? Cause its Edge's theme song. On this day, I see clearly. No? Yeah, I'm not funny.
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I have 4 5mg pieces left. I have work in the morning, but I probably will be fired. Not because of drugs, but because I called out today. But alas, I shall recover if it happens. Walmart used to be fun, but now its decrepit and disheartening.
Time to down another line and play some Modern Warfare.
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I've snorted part of of percocet. I'm watching CrazyRussianHacker on YouTube, and he's reviewing stuff from Amazon. And something came to mind:
Does anyone remember Fushigi? It's that glass ball thing that you can do tricks with.
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She's old. She doesn't want to chew her toy I got her. She never plays with toys. Her brother always takes them from her.
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My cat is acting weird and might die. I'm emotionally exhausted right now but I have percocet so everything will be alright for a little bit.
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I called out of work today. I am a little upset but I also realize our company doesnt care for its employees, unless they're one of the managers.
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Hi. Idk what I'll post on here, but I really wish MySpace was a thing and had its own mobile app.
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