legolin17

[legolin17]

SHE’S ALIVE!! I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL! THE AIRSHIP AT THE END!!! THE GLITCHY END CREDITS!! THE AIR VENTS!!! THE GLITCH! CAITLYN’S SMIRK AT THE END!!!

[legolin17]

when i was a kid, every collection of books—large or small, public or private—had at least one small grubby volume called “fifty japanese fairy tales” “african folk tales” “who’s a-knockin at my door and other scary stories” “haunting mysteries of the sea” “golden threads: slavic fairy stories” “the unabridged grimm’s fairy tales,” and that book would contain at least one short story bizarre and haunting enough to permanently rewire your brain. and babey i was a fucking bloodhound hunting them down

[legolin17]

Lil heretic :)

[legolin17]

I love how excited she was for Blake to see Yang. Like mood fr 😆

She even noticed Blake was the one to run by Yang in the woods!

If you haven’t yet please go watch her full reaction! Would love to see her continue watching the show

[legolin17]

Mayors should be required by law to wear a top hat and a sash that says “mayor” at all times

[legolin17]

Something that I think Warhammer 40,000 storytellers miss sometimes is the sheer scale of their setting. I mean, don't get me wrong - I love the big, dramatic clashes, the characters you can buy in mini form and their convoluted, interwoven lore, the dramatic combats against unstoppable foes across a thousand ruined worlds. But that's the top of the setting, as it were - the most powerful beings in the universe, all fighting for supremacy. And at ground level, the level of the ordinary person, are so many other stories.

Did you know that a Lunar-class void cruiser has a crew of 95,000? Nearly a hundred thousand people, aboard a spaceship five kilometers long. A city, flying through outer space to wage war. Many of those people are proper trained soldiers, fresh from some academy or veterans of long, grueling campaigns, and many more are pressed into service, begrudgingly laying their lives at their Emperor's feet. But, unless the ship is currently actively involved in a really bloody campaign, most of those people were born aboard that ship. Most of their parents were born aboard it. And their grandparents. And their great-grandparents. Lineages stretching back centuries, so far that the original soldier who came aboard has been forgotten. A lot of those people probably know, on some level, that they're aboard a ship flying through space - but a lot of them probably don't, and I guarantee you almost none of them understand what that means. This ship is their world. To look out the window means madness so often that they avoid it - not that windows are readily available anyway. Most of them probably barely even understand that they're fighting. All they know is that when the readouts on their analog instruments display like so, when they hurry to obey the blared orders through the klaxon, the Emperor is pleased with them. They were born into that world. When they were children they did smaller tasks the adults couldn't. Their entire existence was winding metal corridors, laid out according to some archaic design, any logic that might dictate their layout long since degraded after millennia of ignorant maintenance, lit only by emergency lights that have long since become the default. They learned how to read an angle readout or how to relay an order perfectly the way another child might learn history or math. When they grew up, their service was flawless, born of pride and ignorance, and when they grew old and died, their legacy was remembered until it was forgotten. Many were killed in battle, but who cares? They gave their lives to the Emperor - a name whose meaning they don't understand, but whose importance they believe in wholeheartedly, all but synonymous with the commanding officers up above.

Sometimes, the klaxons sound a specific command, and every person on board who understands what it means feels a deep, awful dread as they run to their battle stations. They don't know what a warp jump is. They don't understand they're going from one place to another by the fastest way available. All they know is that, for a time, the ship dips into hell. The corridors go wrong. Things and people might not be where or what they were before. Daemons stalk the halls, and must be killed by any who can hold a lasgun. The overcrowded berths, the little nooks that families find for themselves - they are not private anymore. They are not safe. Things drift through the shift that do not care about the laws of physics, but that delight in killing and torturing human beings. Vast energies shake the ship and tear parts of it away - their home, their world, their existence, the biggest thing they can imagine, assaulted by something bigger. Is it the Emperor's punishment for failure? Is this what battle is? What's going on? They don't know, and no one who does can be bothered to tell them. The dread of those who have seen this before is even worse, because they don't know how long it will be. It might be just a few hours. It might be days, or weeks, or months, or years, or decades. It might be centuries, as the captain of the ship goes hunting daemons deep in the warp - the officers live that long, after all, and have little care for those who don't. There will be people born in hell, who spend their entire lives fighting from the day they can stand, and who die in hell, as old age and need catch up to them and they curl up in a corner to perish. To them, it isn't even hell. It's just the world. The world is death and pain and cruelty, an infinite metal box through which monsters stalk, and sometimes you must run to a battle station and do as you're ordered to do. And sometimes, as they reach forty or fifty or even a ripe old sixty, the ship drops out of the Warp, and, for the final years of their life, they are granted a life of relatively safe service better than anything they ever hoped to dream of.

Those are the kinds of stories I want to see more of. Super-soldiers fighting each other is cool, yes, but I want to see this universe explored. I want stories from the perspective of those that keep the Imperium going, or the aeldar, or the tyranids, or anyone, really. There's just so much potential in this setting. It deserves it.

[legolin17]

original image by Kinofabino on twitter, who's great

[legolin17]

Warhammer players scrolling eBay:

[legolin17]

When your Gue’vesa ally starts praying to the T’au’va:

When the T’au’va manifests as a minor warp deity:

[legolin17]

Faith

by Mick19988

[legolin17]

Trench Crusade warband concept art

Sapeur

Chasseur

Voltigeur

Garde Palatin

Pieton

[legolin17]

Frodo Laid a Geas (and other invisible magic)

This was so obvious when I realized it, but I think most people miss it, because we’re so desensitized by D&D-style magic with immediate, visibly, flashy effects, rather than more subtle and invisible forces of magic. When Gollum attacks Frodo on the slopes of Mount Doom, Frodo has the chance to kill him, but he doesn’t. Instead, he says:

Frodo: Go! And if you ever lay hands on me again, you yourself shall be cast into the Fire!

Frodo’s not just talking shit here. He is literally, magically laying a curse. He’s holding the One Ring in his hands as he says it; even Sam, with no magic powers of his own, can sense that some powerful mojo is being laid down. Frodo put a curse on Gollum: if you try to take the Ring again, you’ll be cast into the Fire.

Five pages later, Gollum tries to take the Ring again. And that’s exactly what happens. Frodo’s geas takes effect and Gollum eats lava.

[legolin17]

Once you exit the womb, you can use the left stick to walk around and explore your surroundings. You can press A to jump, allowing you to access higher places. Try jumping onto the doctor's cabinets

[legolin17]

Trench crusade going "leave immediately, we aren't doing this shit" to chuds is the funniest imaginable thing a warhammer inspired property could do.

[legolin17]

Hey Watcher fans, if you guys are looking for new content to listen to now that Watcher is disappearing into a paywall I reccomend checking out Red Web!

They're also an unsolved mystery podcast with 2 hilarious hosts Trevor and Fredo and they used to be part of Roosterteeth but now that RT is shutting down they're going indie and making their own channel to continue the show in the future. (We aren't sure if they're changing their name yet but for now it's still called Red Web) They have some topics that cross with Watcher and Buzzfeed Unsolved but they also dive into modern internet mysteries, mysterious historical artifacts, ARGs and even a few ghost hunts of their own and they're extremely passionate about it that they wanted to continue their show even after their parent company shut down.

I reccomend checking them out and supporting them as they branch out from their main company just like Watcher did with Buzzfeed many years ago. Who knows? Maybe we can help them become the new Watchers in the future?

[legolin17]

everywhere i go everyone compliments me on the particle cannons i attached to my body. they say things like "those look effective against armored targets, and also very precise" and then i blush cutely and obliterate a scrap car

[legolin17]

Super Earth Invasion

Before the Helldivers deploy to their latest operation, we need to know how they fight. Super Earth invasion strategy isn't as simple as massed infantry charges across open fields, so how do they go about liberating a planet?

Their general strategy is pretty ingenious, and it all centers around their liberal use of hellpods. With these provocatively named drop pods, they can safely and consistently place troops anywhere on the planet without needing to worry about supply lines or battlefronts. Troops running low on ammo? Drop them some ammo. Helldivers need rocket launchers for a sudden tank attack? Drop some right beside them.

But it's not just supplies; it's also a matter of troop placement. Helldivers can be placed behind the front lines and destabilize their formations with ease. While Super Earth general forces get slaughtered en masse in the front lines, the Helldivers can immediately drop behind them and flank the whole army.

That would be devastating enough, but the way they use this ability is even deadlier. Why limit yourself to flanking when you could strike strategic assets?

Let's put this all together. Say there's a major air base garrisoned with tons of fighters, bombers, and transports that supplies the enemy air force with the majority of the region's air capability. The Ministry of Defense wants to disable it, but there's a tank division entrenched with the defenders. Sure, we could send in as many Helldivers as needed to destroy them all, and people are a renewable resource, but there's got to be a more cost effective way to do it. What do we do?

How about instead of attacking the air base directly, we attack a major communications relay two kilometers to the west?

Look at it from the enemy's perspective. The battles to control the planet are going swimmingly and all seems well. Suddenly, outposts in their controlled territory go dark. Patrols are sent to investigate what's happening, and they go silent. So they start sending more troops to see what's happening. Then they get the confirmation that a guerilla force is attacking the region, and they're gunning for the relay. Well we can't let that get destroyed, so we need to send in more troops to stop them. But nothing seems to work. At some point, all they can figure to do is send in some armor. And hey, there's a conveniently placed tank division just a few minutes away. it's not like they're doing anything right now. Why not send them?

And so they do; the tanks leave their post at the air base to take out the Helldivers wreaking havoc. Unfortunately, they don't get there fast enough to save the relay. Long range comms are out, but that can be fixed. More importantly, we need those tanks to take out these clearly elite troops mucking up our bases. We kill a few of them, but we lose just as many tanks in the attempt. We chase them off and they extract from the battlefield while we shoot impotently. In the end, we can't even say this was a victory. We simply lost too much to make a few measly kills worthwhile.

Then you receive word from short range comms that Helldivers launched an attack on the air base while the tanks were distracted. Local defense forces are getting wiped out, and those tanks need to get back there pronto!

So they rush back there just in time to see a lot of the base's infrastructure smoldering. Tanks try to get back inside, but the roles have gotten reversed, with the Helldivers now using the base's own defenses against them. Even if the tanks succeed at repelling the Helldivers and securing the base, their victory would be pyrrhic at best. How many aircraft did they lose in the attack? With the surviving craft, do they even have enough fuel and munitions to use them? How many guards and tanks did they lose trying to keep it all?

And this is just the small scale. Expand this to a planetary scale, and it's no wonder how Super Earth conquers a planet in a matter of hours. Quick diversionary strikes followed by ruthless decapitating strikes can quickly reduce any defender to small pockets of easily disposed resistance.

There's only one major drawback to the Super Earth strategy. If Helldivers need support, they have to call it in. It seems like the orbiting super destroyers can't fire on the planet without a beacon designating a target. How else can the automatons get away with building large outposts in the game, right? So Helldivers need to get down there first, and get within throwing range. Should they get spotted, the Helldivers risk getting killed before any necessary aid can arrive. This can ruin an operation completely, to say nothing of what happens if they miss their throw.

This is how Super Earth fights; dissecting planets apart before they can properly defend themselves. As long as super destroyers can get above a target, they can start a battle when it's most convenient.

Let's keep all this in mind as they meet their neighbors.