legend-of-depression

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

The way you change your immediate reactions to things is that you catch yourself having an uncharitable/bigoted/overly judgmental thought and you catch it and replace it and then you do that a hundred times a day for your whole life and eventually one day like five years later you realize that you think differently now and you’ll always be working on something but that’s how life goes and that’s fine.

[legend-of-depression]

Something about squishy, soft, fat bodies tied up in rope is just so yummy. The rope just pressed into the skin. Ugh thighs and tummies look SO bitable like that. And having someone trust you so much to be that vulnerable for you?!?! Ugh so hot. Making them cum like that????? Fuck 🥵. Watching them struggle against the binds when it gets to be just a bit too much. A little overstimulation and a little body jiggle from the attempt to escape. Getting to tell them how good they were after I've had enough fun with them. Maybe we'll switch next round :)

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

Calling my neurospicy/ADHD/autistic siblings with a question:

How do you walk for fun/exercise?

Personally, I've realized that I actually hate walking? For decades I've been trying to force myself to enjoy going for a quick walk around the block because every piece of advice about physical and mental health says "just go for a walk 😊 it's fun and relaxing 😊 anyone can do it 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊"

BUT IT IS NEITHER FUN NOR RELAXING??!?

I present to you the following:

Every window you walk past has the potential for one or more sets of eyes. EYES THAT COULD BE PERCEIVING YOU.*

Hot. Cold. Rain. Wind. Allergies. Insects. INSECTS THAT FOLLOW YOU (fucking horseflies ugh)

Choices must be made. What clothes to wear? No you can't wear the shorts you're wearing because the thighs ride up. Go change. A hat?? Hats look dumb but counterpoint: sun is murdering your eyes. And shoes?!? WHICH SOCKS ARE RIGHT AND PREVENT BLISTERS BUT AREN'T TOO HOT ANSWER ME THIS

Chronic pain????????????

Okay I'm walking, I'm walking, look at the pavement, don't trip over that drainage grate, don't stumble on the loose gravel, god this is so freaking boring ah shit I rolled my ankle on the pavement did anyone see?? Why didn't I wear headphones but headphones are bad because I'm supposed to be enjoying nature™ and if I wear them I can't hear electric cars and I might get in an accident SHIT I rolled my ankle AGAIN

SO HOW DO YOU DO IT??? Are there tips and tricks? Do you just... not walk? Use a treadmill?? How do you make the treadmill not soul-suckingly boring????

(PLEASE no neurotypicals clowning on this post with any "advice" -- your statements have already been noted and accepted into the record. Autistic/ADHD rebuttals are what is being sought here thanks.)

*Do NOT give me that 'no one is looking at you' BS -- YES THEY ARE. I know this because I watch people walking by, and so does my mom and half the neighborhood.

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

[legend-of-depression]

Me

[legend-of-depression]

"You need to relax"

Best I can do is dissociate

[legend-of-depression]

i rlly hope it gets easier soon bc i am fucking losing my mind

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

jobs for girls who can't focus and are tired all the time and aren't rlly that good looking and get startled easily

[legend-of-depression]

when you notice your mental health declining, do one small thing that brings you peace. take a shower, text a loved one, step outside. one little step is all you need to remind yourself that this is not permanent.

[legend-of-depression]

[legend-of-depression]

From the bottom of my heart I hope 2024 is a better mental health year for everyone