leasunsentletters

[leasunsentletters]

Dear Rosalia,

I’m scared. You scare me. Every day, when I wake up, I wonder if your goodnight text was the last one I’d get from you. A few months ago, you got us all scared to death. When the police found you in that dark alley, your heart barely beating, your body full of drugs, Maya didn’t think you’d make it. But you did. Then, when you jumped off the bridge and had to get emergency surgery, Naomie thought that was it. But it wasn’t.

Rosalia, I know you don’t want to die. I know you just want this pain to stop. I know the pain’s been excruciating ever since you turned fifteen. I know the simple thought of living for one more day is just unbearable. But one day, I promise, you’ll be alright. You may feel like life isn’t worth living but it is. You’ll be happy one day. You deserve it. It’ll happen. But to see that day, you have to stay.

Right now, you’re sitting in an hospital’s ER. I’m proud of you for going there. They can help you more than I can. Remember the girl’s nights with Maya at your apartment? How happy you were? You were struggling, yes, but you still enjoyed life. I wish I was sure that you’d still be here to see the spring bloom this year. But I don’t know. I wish I was, I really do. But no one knows for sure. You do, Rosalia. You’re the only one that knows. I’m scared that one day, I’ll get a call from Maya telling me that you’re not with us anymore. That I have to go to your funerals. It gives me nightmares.

I wish I could take all your pain away. Take it for myself. If I could, I’d to it in a heartbeat. In my heartbeat, because I don’t want you to waste yours. But I can’t. And that’s the scariest thing. You’re the one in control, and you get to decide whether you stay or you leave. I love you Rosalia. Please stay.

-Léa

p-s: To all the Rosalias out there, stay. There’s light at the end of the tunnel; there’s life. <3