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* dumpsterchad ​.

“Well  WELL,  YOUR  BROTHER’S  AN  IDIO  [smarty  pants]!  YOU  KNOW  WHAT  [they]  SAY,  MAKE  MISTAKES  [not  war]….you  have  a  grandma,  right?”  

      nice  play  on  words  there,  but  he  isn’t  going  to  give  this  lightner  any  room.  Looks  like  his  ego  might  EXPLODE  any  minute  now  anyways…  and  big  shots  don’t  take  dumpster  deals.  “WHERE’S  YOUR  [bro  bro]  NOW?  WHY  NOT  [have  the  whole  family  over]?”

grandma ?  the whole family ?  heh,  seems this guy doesn’t get out much,  “  * sorry but...  they’re all six feet under .  ”  sans closes his eyes,  he’s gonna gloss over the little mishap about his brother,  the guy corrected himself .  he lets the pause hang for a bit,  really giving ‘em time to stew on the words before the characteristic punchline,

“  * cause⸺  well,  skeletons .  ”  one hand leaves his pocket,  wrist twirling to accentuate the joke .  “  * we’re everywhere,  gotta be a few of us ‘round here .  ”

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* dumpsterchad​ .

“LOOKS  LIKE  [you],  MY  [little  sponge],  TURNED  EXACLTY  WHERE  YA  NEEDED!”  The  puppet  looks  the  skeletal  figure  up  and  down.  It  doesn’t  take  long!  He’s  a  short  guy,  eyelevel.  “HEAHHE!  SO  YOU’VE  HEARD  OF  ME!  GO  AHEAD,  DON’T  BE  SHY!  TELL  ME  ABOUT  MY  [status  as  a  total  success  guaranteed!!!]….. OR  SAY  [goodbye  to  your  grandma].”

He’s  Lightner.  It  isn’t  difficult  to  tell.  They  SMELL  like  the  SUN.  

so,  that’s the running gag ?  interrupting yelling with ads ?  maybe if sans could do anything but smile,  his grin would deepen as his eyes dart around as the thing dances around him .  this whole place was like a little kid’s idea of a desktop computer,  maybe this guy is what  [idiot]  babies see when a virus makes ‘em cry .

“  * wouldn’t know about success,  pal,  i delete them as soon as i see ‘em .  my bro ?  with him it’s life & death .  the fear makes him put a lock on his door⸺  really puts the chain in chain mail .  ”

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right,  okay—  that’s the name of the game .  sans just shrugs,  his hands slipping into the pockets of his hoodie,  he only knows one skeleton that can match this level of enthusiasm & it sure ain’t him .  

“  * huh .  dunno,  took a wrong turn in the computer lab .  wanted to send some e-mails but instead my inbox is all spambots .  should i be forwardin’ you to five of my contacts...  or else ?  ”

@lazyboned spoke:  * listen, pal, there’s only room for one funny little guy in town. get lost.

“OH-HOHAEHEHO!  SO  YOU  THINK  YOU’VE  [cornered  the  market!]  ON  FUNNY.  LITTLE.  GUYS.  EH?”  Spamton  slaps  his  knee,  feeling  it  slide  over  a  little  as  a  result.  He’s  really  gotta  get  that  fixed…

                    “LOOK  OUT  EVERYBODY!  [it’s  a  bird!  it’s  a  plane!]  IT’S  A  REAL  B  I  G    S  H  O  T  !”  With  a  tiny  little  wheeze,  the  puppet  nearly  falls  over.  “WHAT’S  A  [$0.94]  RAWHIDE  LIKE  YOU  DOING  HERE  ANYWAYS?”

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Joel reacts to the sans costume

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thee shall have the most unpleasant moment in passage

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He’s in, boys!

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we made history today

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hey sans undertale is it true you like fingers in your a

❝    *  don’t say those words to me ,  punk .   they outlawed it years ago ,  it’s in my past ,  i past i can no longer live .  eeeuurrrghhh i’m so sad & edgy .    ❞

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SANS I LOVEYOU

❝    *  get  in  line ,    kid ,    everyone  loves  sans  now .    ❞

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* open  starter .

❝    *  where’s  MY  party ,    eh ?    I’M  IN  SMASH .    bein'  a  costume  counts  too !    ❞

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* open  starter .

❝    *  eeeeyup    ——    i  made  it .    as  they  say ,    hard work pays off .    ❞

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sans posts about Qanon & browses 4chan

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it is with a heavy heart that i detail in this here post that i have decided to give sans scurvy, it only makes perfect sense in my mind as one of the heavier symptoms of chronic vitamin C deficiency is the stifling of bone growth, which to me is the one & true perfect explanation for why sans is so short. he struggles with it every day, some days this poor skeleton can’t even get out of bed because of scurvy, his one solace in his awful life of scurvy induced pain is ketchup, a marvelous drink rich in vitamin C (probably) which is the only medicine sans can afford to ease his pain 😔😥😭

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sans listens to death grips & calls people ‘cucks’

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considering who ive actually seen promote the log off protests all im gathering is dec 17th is going to be the most bareable day in tumblr history

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happy sunday