lazarus-blythe

[lazarus-blythe]

3 am

It's a calm night and I am thinking as a whole or maybe no one. Head's so heavy I can't even see the sky. Talked to myself so much that I forgot my virtue, absolution bled right in front of my honesty as red as I've known. And I actually breathe chaos sometimes to go deep inside the box, that same box which everyone escapes from. Maybe I'm a God with a rusted halo or maybe I'm an angel with broken horns, but I fixed my hair so who cares what I carry inside my head. 70-80 feet ig up's how it feels. I feel everything getting dense inside me and yet so hollow. Depression and anxiety are just so cliche these days but they still got the most of me. How do I drown my demons? I created them, but they taught me how to swim. What if the last tree on this Earth stops giving us oxygen, I'm trying to chop off that tree for myself. My alter ego smilin' at me like "what the hell did you do bro?". I'm right here at my house and still far away from home. I never even get a nickel for my dime. They say grief is the final act of lov….. noooooo it's acceptance and escape. Just a longing to run away, get lost and never come back.

Don't hold me down

Let go

Fight me

Believe me

Find me

Bury me

Alive

And before

Red ocean cries 

Come to

destroy me.

Haha anyways let's not be honest to ourselves and keep feeding ourselves the same lie everyday that it'll be alright when we all know it won't. I'm writing this for the person who's listening, honesty isn't the best policy, accept it and let it ease your pain. And you know sometimes I actually breathe chaos. Embrace this chaos.