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Father, pointing at Ed and Al: Time for you to DIE!

Ed: Is he pointing at you or me?

Al: I think he's, like, pointing at the space between us.

Ed: Maybe he's pointing at something behind us.

Father: I'M POINTING AT BOTH OF YOU!

Ed: How can you be pointing at two things with one finger?

Al: Makes no sense.

Father: ...I need an Advil.

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Edward, 15 years of age: Anyone got any advice for me about girls? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to bestow your old people wisdom.

Riza, Roy, Maes, Kimblee, not even 30: Old people...

Edward, pointing at Maes: Let's go. You have the best advice, I bet.

Maes Hughes: Love her and tell her you love her every day. Also carry her photograph with you at all times. And never forget to write a letter back. Visit her often and make her feel seen and heard and safe.

Edward, 15, very little emotional capacity: Okay, that sounds like bullshit I might try when I'm desperate. Moving on. Colonel Mustang, let's go.

Roy Mustang: Bring her flowers and do phone sex. Ladies love that. Also when you promise to take her out on a date do it before it becomes an inside joke how you haven't done it yet and how worthless you are. Avoid rainy romantic sceneries.

Edward, nodding: That's a lot of projecting you're doing. Moving on. Lieutenant, can you save this?

Riza Hawkeye: Be yourself and hope for the best.

Edward: This is the least interesting answer I've gotten today. Let's spice it up. Kimblee, oi, wow me.

Kimblee: If she asks you about your body count that means she's asking how many people you've had sex with before.

Everyone: ...why would you need this explanation?

Kimblee: Also, if a girl you're interested in says she isn't interested, move on. It's very simple.

Everyone: Yes, this is important. Edward, don't be a pushy and insistent prick to girls.

Kimblee: And, please, remember not to tell her about alchemy on the first date. Save that for when she really likes you. Because while we may all think alchemy is very interesting (Riza, Maes: We don't) it is actually incredibly boring to most people.

Edward: Why have I got so much helpful advice from you?

Kimblee: Because I know how to talk to women without paying them.

Roy Mustang: Fucker.

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Izumi, smiling threateningly: So, I heard you proposed to my idiot student in the middle of a blood ocean?

Ling, backing away: In my defense he had that look on his face that said if I didn't do it he would do something absolutely stupid--

+1

Izumi, approvingly: So you care enough to know his stupid face huh......... Fine then. I better be invited to the wedding though.

Ling: Uhm... Sure......????????

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Ed: listen, no LISTEN

Ed: THAT MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT THERE IS A LIAR

Riza: Ed, calm down!

Ed: I see you! You two faced BITCH!

Al, trying not to laugh: Brother-

Ed: NO! You're over there with your innocent smile and your tweed jacket-

Roy: Fullmetal-

Ed: and youR FUCKIN HAND KNIT SWEATER VEST

Al: *pffft*

Ed: I know the truth!! I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN FOOLING THEM ALL!

Riza: Edward please-

Ed, banging his fist on the table: THAT MOTHER FUCKER IS EMO

Alphonse: *dies laughing*

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Edward, texting Hawkeye: Lieutenant! Help I’m being kidnapped

Riza: Where are you?

Edward: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Riza: I’ll call the Colonel

Roy, answering his cell: Y’ello?

Riza: Where’s Ed? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Roy: Edward? Whaddya mean, he’s right next to me-

Roy:

Roy: I’ll call you back.

hangs up

Roy: THE MUSTACHE ISN’T THAT BAD!

Edward: WHO ARE YOU?!

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About 1 out of 5 Parental!RoyEd fics: “When his youngest subordinate goes missing, the Flame Alchemist will stop at nothing to bring Ed safely home.”

Meanwhile, Roy in Brotherhood: “Fullmetal’s gone missing up North? Hmm, sounds like a personal problem to me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a coup to plan.”

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gave roy mustang a dragon. bc he needed to be more obnoxious

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Nothing to see here, just Edward Elric committing a little bit of arson 😌

get a print

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Hair clip?)

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Shoutout to @skittypretty for once again having some top tier comic commission ideas 👌

Bonus:

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late comic based on one of the @edling-week day 5 prompts

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Al is such a gentle kid. I believe he could do something like that.

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I'm currently reading the fma manga for the first time (FINALLY) and here's some of my favourite tiny Eds so far <33

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Ed core dump 💀💀💀

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Sometimes I do anatomy studies and the character suddenly has an automail arm :')

get your own print here ❤️