lauvieknows - Tumblr blog

lauvieknows · 11 days ago

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This post is about the user @/kayden-kay

All of their Arcane-based roleplay blogs:

This is not a thing I ever wanted to make. Please don’t send any harassment towards Kay, but consider blocking them.

I just don't want to give them the benefit of the doubt anymore. People have tried to explain to them some of the things they have done wrong before and end up just getting blocked.

Rest if the info under the cut :

If possible all links to posts will be provided.

It originally started with a group of roleplayers realizing that they had all been having issues regarding roleplay with Kay. Someone compiled these concerns and sent Kay a private

message about them. I had mentioned feeling uncomfortable with some remarks Kay made in-characters, which was included broadly in the message.

This document contains the message written out and then sent to Kay: Doc

The concerned person was immediately blocked with no response.

Screenshot as proof of message being sent with no reply:

Now the stuff regarding their general lack of regard for the safety of minors. I would like to note I am 16. I make it very clear I am 16 on all my blogs, either putting it in my description or the pinned post. I sometimes reply to asks with suggestive jokes, but this does not change the fact that I am a minor.

Screenshot of the comment Kay made that made me uncomfortable:

Link to the original post. I can’t get a link to their post because they have me blocked: Post

At the time I didn't realise I didn’t process this wasn’t a comment I found uncomfortable, but looking back at it knowing this person is 20 it feels kind of gross. I decided to try and avoid interacting with them, blocking them for my own comfort until they pinged me in a post regarding one of my blogs. I learned about said post through someone else who had seen it.

Screenshot for said post :

I then messaged them regarding how I'm not comfortable with them making any sort of contact with my blogs. I understand the way I ended up talking to this person was not fair and I should have tried to be a little more civil about my approach.

Here is that entire conversion. They block me at the end of it.

I do not think using your age or disabilities as an excuse for your actions is right. I have an understanding that these things can make things harder as I have dyslexia myself (A mutual of mine edited this post for me and fixed any typos and grammar). I have a hard time reading things and having to have aides to help it. But that doesn't excuse not taking into consideration how old the people that you are interacting with are.

For context this is where my age is on all of my accounts.

After this they made a couple of posts on their main account.

Link to post

Kay, I doubt you are never gonna read this. You block people a lot of the time when they are trying to tell you they are uncomfortable. But even if you were 18 or such you should know better than to make suggestive comments to people you don’t know the age of or minors. You especially should not excuse your actions using your age or disabilities rather than apologizing and trying to do better. Whether or not you realize it, you are 20. You are an adult, you should know you have a responsibility to make sure you aren’t exposing minors to NSFW content. Check people’s ages, and tag your blogs and posts as NSFW if they include suggestive or 18+ content.

On another note:

Link to post

If your blog is NSFW, do not interact with minors using that blog. The fact you either ignore or do not understand shows you should not be in spaces with minors.

That is all, again please do not send harassment to this person in any regard. If you feel uncomfortable with them, ignore or block their accounts. This is just to show their disregard of minor safety online and how they ignore people when they try to mention the things they have done wrong.

thanks to @prince-o-rot for helping me edit this

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lauvieknows · 17 days ago

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IN CHARACTER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT QUESTIONS .

send an emoji/series of emojis for my muse to answer any of the following questions in character! for some questions, there are fields italicized and bolded for you to fill in with the name of a person/place/event/etc in the muse's life. please remember to fill in these spaces in order for the question to make sense! each emoji is described in case you can't see them, and they are listed alphabetically. ♡

✈️ AIRPLANE — have you traveled anywhere that helped you discover something about yourself and/or about the world?

😠 ANGRY FACE — how easy or difficult is it for you to express your emotions? if you find it difficult, what do you think is holding you back?

🎨 ARTIST PALETTE — what are some hobbies that you like to partake in? do you think they're just to pass time or to distract yourself, or do you believe some of them potentially have therapeutic outcomes for you?

🎈 BALLOON — what is something you've created and/or accomplished recently that you're proud of?

🖤 BLACK HEART — what would you say is the darkest thought you've ever experienced? what do you think caused you to have that thought? have you ever planned on or fantasized about acting on it?

🏹 BOW AND ARROW — if there's something from your past that you'd give anything to go back in time and redo, what is it?

💔 BROKEN HEART — is there anyone in your life you wish you had a better relationship with? if so, how come? what makes this person important to you?

🎄 CHRISTMAS TREE — what is your favorite holiday and why?

🌙 CRESCENT MOON — what would you say is your current biggest dream and/or career aspiration and why?

❌ CROSS MARK — how would your life be different if [name of person] had never been in it? would it be better or worse?

⚔️ CROSSED SWORDS — do you have any skills that you are absolutely grateful you have and that mean a lot to you? how do you usually use these skills? would they come in handy if someone you cared about was in trouble?

🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today?

🗡️ DAGGER — what is something or someone you know you can't afford to lose? how far are you willing to go to make sure you don't lose it/them?

💧 DROPLET — are you grieving something or someone? do you feel like you lost something or a part of yourself with it/them?

😶‍🌫️ FACE IN CLOUDS — is there something you're hiding from the people you love? if so, how urgent is it for them to hear it? what's holding you back from sharing it?

🍂 FALLEN LEAVES — how would you metaphorically describe your life and the journey(s) you've been on?

👻 GHOST — is there someone or something that you feel is missing from your life? do you know if there's any way to find it/them?

🩶 GRAY HEART — what kind of friend do your friends consider you to be (mom friend, uncle friend, funny friend, etc) and why? what do you think this says about your personality?

🤝 HANDSHAKE — do family or platonic relationships mean more to you? or do they mean different things to you?

❤️‍🔥 HEART ON FIRE — what angers you the most? what triggers this anger, and how do you cope with it? what does this anger feel like, if you had to describe it?

💋 KISS MARK — if you had to share a romantic kiss with a loved one, where would you share that kiss and why? are you thinking about giving this romantic kiss somewhere other than the other person's lips?

✝️ LATIN CROSS — are you a religious person? did you grow up religious? does your faith mean anything to you today?

🩵 LIGHT BLUE HEART — what do you fantasize about the most often (generally/sexually/etc)? are there any people that are significant to or that you can see in this fantasy and why?

⚡️ LIGHTNING BOLT — how has [significant event in muse's life] impacted you? what has it made you realize about yourself? about others? about the world?

💄 LIPSTICK — have you had any romantic or sexual experiences that made you realize something about yourself?

🪄 MAGIC WAND — would you describe yourself as a superstitious person (someone who believes in superstitions)? do you believe in luck?

❤️‍🩹 MENDING HEART — how strongly do you experience your emotions? does it depend on who you're interacting with and/or the context of the situation?

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what song lyrics do you think most accurately describe you? your journey through life? who you are as a person?

�� PEOPLE HUGGING — generally speaking, do you feel very supported by the people in your life? how strong and cohesive is your support system, if you have one? do you often feel like you're at the front of the line or pushed to the side by the people in your life?

❤️ RED HEART — what is/are your love language(s)? how do you use it/them to communicate your feelings about others?

💞 REVOLVING HEARTS — who and/or what are you most grateful for in your life?

🎀 RIBBON BOW — how confident are you with your physical appearance? is there anything about it that you are insecure about? is there anything about it that you are happy about or gives you confidence? how do you think people perceive you based on your physical appearance?

🧪 TEST TUBE — if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what is one thing you absolutely have to resolve and/or do before then?

🤔 THINKING FACE — what three emotions tend to dominate your mindset? do you know why they do?

💭 THOUGHT BALLOON — is there something or someone you find yourself thinking about more often than other things? if so, why do you think you do this?

💀 SKULL — how has [name of person] 's death influenced your outlook on life, if anything?

☀️ SUN — would you describe yourself as more of an introvert or extrovert, or are you somewhere in between? how come?

🪽 WING — if you could choose to have one superpower for a day, what would it be and why? what would you do with it?

✍️ WRITING HAND — what is one thing you wish you were better at? this can be a tactical skill, social skill, hobby, etc.

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lauvieknows · 18 days ago

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I’VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS. IT’S EPIC!!! TRUST!!!! 💥💥💥

BEHOLD!!! MY BIG IDEA!!!! 💪💪💪

I FOUND OUT HOW TO CHANGE RINGTONES ON MY PHONE!!!!

Ekko - It Boy by bbno$ (SPECIFICALLY THE FIRST 30 SECONDS)

Jinx - Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab (SPECIFICALLY NIGHTCORE VERSION)

Isha - Bang Bang by K’NAAN

Flouride - Shots by LMFAO (SPECIFICALLY THE CHORUS!!!! At about 1:18)

Lauvie - Stick Together by Elijah. N (SPECIFICALLY FIRST 30 SECONDS + NIGHTCORE VERSION.)

Zip - Harpy Hare by Yaelokre

Scar - Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne (specifically first 8 seconds.)

Vi - Trouble by Frank Ocean (changing it to 20 Percent Cooler.)

Shugosha - Butterfly by Smile.Dk

Bonus;

Eve (hypothetical) - Cups by Anna Kendrick.

ooc note; THESE ARE ALL CRACK/JOKE THINGS. THEY AREN’T MEANT TO BE TAKEN TOO SERIOUSLY/Analysed in too much depth.

#OOC: HOW COME I HAVENT SEEN THUS💔 That is so Lauvie omg

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lauvieknows · 18 days ago

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(OOC) WE'RE RANTING. LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Beau's regression (might make a part 2 if I need to)

I would like to quickly preface that

I am NOT a psychologist, just some nerd in a psychology class.

Age regression does NOT equal age play.

This is all just for fun.

I ramble a lot in this — Topics in this post include

Why does he regress?

When is he likely to regress?

Who does he regress around? (Relationships)

What is the difference between B.B acting childish and being a child?

Alright, I mentioned in my headcanon post (Link here if you haven't seen it.) that the regression I represent with Beau is both involuntary and a lot more palatable (in my opinion) for both readers and other role-player's. His regression signs including,

Desire to play.

Need to be coddled, comforted and nurtured by others.

Naïve, easily trusting mindset.

Lack of control over emotions.

(There will be more talk about this in relationships, though.)

Age regression is quite literally as it sounds - a persons mental headspace regressing to one younger than they actually are. (Ex. 24 to 4, 16 to 13, 12 to 9.) It's more commonly represented for people to regress to toddler years or younger, but as I mentioned earlier, this is a more palatable version for the comfort of others and ALSO. I love my nuanced, non-traditional tropes. 🤭

B.B mentally regresses from the ages of 8 to about 12, maybe 13. He’s still able to take care of himself to an extent, still requires help with certain stuff and still enjoys "kiddy stuff". It is no younger than 8, tends to usually be from the ages of 10 to 12/13, though.

Why? - Why does he regress?

As I mentioned a few times, B.B was about 4 when he moved to Zaun. (I think I changed the age from 2 to 4. So if you're reading this, Beau moved when he was 4. He just remembers it as him being 2.)

He was a child being raised by a child, neither of them speaking whatever language Zaun speaks and neither of them having a clue of what to do or where to go.

I could go on a rant on Eve (in this canon) but we'll save that for next time. (FOR CONTEXT. Eve was about 12 when she and Beau moved.)

I have no idea how old B.B was when they joined the Firelights, but regardless, any time alone for a pair of kids in a random area would TRAUMATISE them. I believe Eve would've tried her best to take care of them, but she was also a CHILD and they both had to grow up quickly regardless of how hard someone tried to care for these babies.

This isn't a matter of "Oh, Eve failed to take care of him", this is the matter of living on the streets of Zaun, alone, dependent, small, hungry, lost, and with a huge language barrier. I mentioned this in the story of how Beau started his "POWER! 💥" thing, but Little Man was TERRIFIED of those germy, icky, yucky streets.

Commonly in age regression, the brain decides a time in childhood is "unsafe" and holds off childhood until it is "safe" to be vulnerable again. Whether that is at the end of the day, the week, month, 1, 2, 4 years into the future, etc. Yes, Beau was a child, but he wasn't a child.

I am well aware that 15 - 16 year old's may not act as immature as Beau does, this is the reason why! (He also didn't act like a 12 year old at the beginning of the blog. That's both me not remembering how 12 year old's act and B.B trying to be older than he really felt + was.)

NOW. I accept questions on this because It's unlikely I can cover ALL the topics or questions people have, just remember to be respectful! (Also, specify if you want something OOC.)

^^ I say that because it's unlikely B.B knows about his own regression. I mean, he knows that he's childish and is aware that he's naïve, but not so much that this is a trauma response. Just... keep that in mind.

TLDR; His brain involuntarily regresses when it feels safe enough to. People he feels safe with are Ekko, Isha, Flouride, Lauvie and Jinx.

When? - When is he likely to regress?

Really depends on who he's around! I mentioned in the linked post who he's comfortable being "Beau" around, those are the people his brain deems as "safety" and allows him to be more kiddy around. He won't regress on a mission or anything serious, it's sort of like falling asleep. Can't sleep if you're too worked up, but when the moments right and you're relaxed, you can sometimes drift off.

(^^ Which also means that he is unlikely to mentally regress during adrenaline rush moments or in times of danger. He could if it was really bad, but it’s extremely unlikely to.)

Being with the right people is the biggest trigger he has to fall into "Beau" mood. That doesn't mean he's Beau 90% of the time, it just means that he's more likely to be in a genuinely smaller headspace rather than just acting like a kid.

(There is a difference between acting kid-ish and being regressed.)

Relationships —

I know someone is going to ask and be curious, that’s totally okay. Here’s my take on romantic relationships whilst regressed. (Because, obviously, Isha is one of his "safe people" when Beau occasionally slips into a younger kid headspace.) Note; it’s still a grey area on which characters actually know or notice B.B’s regression.

He doesn’t regress all the time (as I literally just mentioned)

At least he’s not regressed with Isha all the time. But the few times he is, then they’re just playing and being kids. Maybe they’re goofing off, causing mischief, having a sleepover, whatever, not romantic. Just two kids being kids and hanging out. He doesn’t actually regress around kids often, maybe if something has happened or if an adult is in the room, but he’s very unlikely to be a kid-kid around Isha.

Every moment they spend isn’t necessarily "romantic".

When regressed, Isha is neither his girlfriend nor his "sister". Isha is more of a friend he has play dates with and hangs out with rather than someone who he’s romantically dating.

Now — Other relationships with characters.

(Note; these are written in B.B’s perspective as to give other writers wiggle room and creative freedom as well. Please do not harass writers to actively engage in or mention Beau’s regression, I want writers to feel comfortable. And if you ARE a writer, let me know if this makes you feel icky and I can remove/add anything.)

Ekko —

This is easy, clean-cut, straight to the point and very obvious. Ekko is his dad through and through.

Probably the main person who B.B really gets into "Beau headspace" around. Ekko has proven time and time again that he is safe, the epitome of safety in B.B’s eyes and is far more likely to accept being "Beau" around. Of course, this still isn’t a 24/7 thing, but it’s apparently often enough for Ekko to apparently notice SOMETHING.

Beau is a lot less subtle with Ekko, his up’s and downs are obvious and he’s constantly seeking out Ekko’s attention for family related stuff.

(Examples include,

Asking for bedtime stories.

Comfort after a nightmare or injury.

Just wanting a hug.

Reassurance.

Affection.

Curious questions.

Help to be taken care of. (ex. Things like cooking, training, cleaning, etc.)

Flouride —

This one I have trouble with because I still don’t know if Flouride would be B.B’s dad, older brother or uncle… Pick your poison and let’s move on, though.

Out of everyone here, B.B regresses around most(?) This is solely because he doesn’t spend a lot of time with Flouride in person (maybe coming by once or twice every week to see how he’s doing and have a chat.) but with that in mind, the ratio of regressed to non-regressed is closer together than it would be for other characters. (Again, because of lack of time spent with Flouride. If it was out of everyone overall, he would be second.)

(Examples include:

Curious questions.

Affection.

Reassurance.

Help to be taken care of (specifically cooking.)

Lauvie —

Nothing I haven’t said before, that’s his big sister. Out of all characters, solely for the fact they also don’t spend a lot of time together, Lauvie is the one who Beau regresses the least around. He has his guard up for the fact that he wants to be able to protect his big sister this time, but he still acts like a childish kid around her.

Examples include:

Messing around.

Comfort after a nightmare.

Reassurance.

Just to hang out. (Ex. Dyeing his hair, makeup, etc.)

Jinx —

"But Jinx killed!—" SHHHHHHHHHH.

(^^ That’s for a different post I have in my drafts)

Alright, he regresses a little more around Jinx for the reason that he’s usually with Ekko when Jinx is around and, well,

("2 adults? That’s mega safety! I’m just gonna’…" —B.B’s brain)

The times he does spend time with Jinx without Ekko, he’s usually accompanied with Isha or Shugosha (He doesn’t have much reason to see her in person alone), and with the two kids around… they sort of cancel each other out? Meaning that, again, it’s not always likely that he will be in a younger state of mind every time.

Examples of what "kid things" Beau would seek Jinx out specifically for are:

Curious questions

Reassurance

Help to be taken care of

Comfort after a nightmare

————

Comparing everyone and ignoring how much time is spent with each person, the order for most to least likely to mentally regress around (whilst also being mindful that he doesn’t regress ALL the time) would be:

Ekko

Flouride

Jinx

Lauvie

I mentioned this several times to the point I’m just a broken record, so…

What exactly is the difference between B.B acting childish and being a child?

You know that feeling of pure safety? When you’re fully content with how you are in the present, happy, surrounded by everything and anything you love? The feeling of pure peace without the burden of inner turmoil? The feeling of being wrapped under warm sheets with light rain outside, cold mid autumn day. Completely serene?

Yeah, me neither.

It’s essentially him healing a part of his inner child with how he purposely acts with others, but it’s also a sense of humour for himself. Killing two birds with one stone!

It’s funny, childish, and sort of endearing when the time is right. And when the time isn’t? Then he’s properly mature B.B.

Mental regression (at least for B.B) is similar to finally coming home after a long day, taking off your shoes, taking your hair out from your hair tie, taking your bra off, socks off, shoes off, whatever, and completely relaxing. You’ve been working hard all day long, maybe even for longer, it’s time for a break. You sink into your bed, wind down for the afternoon, pure calm.

For anyone who didn’t understand what was supposed to be descriptive, poetic, writing:

Childishness = Mentally 15, can act 15, nothing stopping him from just "turning the act on and off".

Mental regression = Mentally younger than 15, can try to act 15 (will struggle immensely or will fail completely), imagine an 8 year old playing with their dolls and trying to pretend their dolls are "adults" or "teens" (spoiler; it doesn’t end well.), doesn’t personally choose to turn this and “off”)

(Off is such an icky word in this context but I can’t think of anything to explain "temporarily ceases for a period of time")

I think that makes sense. Hope that makes sense. As said earlier, you could always do some more research on age regression, or just send me an ask (usually for ooc but you do you).

Note; this doesn’t define his whole character, just why he seems really childish and young in some posts. I also just wanted an excuse to go into further depth about trauma responses and be accurate to the specific trauma that characters have sustained. Thank you for reading and listening to my incomprehensible rambles.

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lauvieknows · 18 days ago

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#Loving my life right now🙏🏾

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lauvieknows · 23 days ago

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Lauvie’s Past

(I’m not a writer btw so this is the best I could muster up💔 She’s like 14 during all of this and her brother is 7 btw.) TW: Descriptions of death, like her mom is almost decapitated 😭

Ugh, these slugs!

Its a cloudy windy fucking Tuesday and my brother keeps digging up these weird colorful slugs and tries to shove them in my face! When will he realise that I absolutely HATE them? The only reason I’m out here in the backyard with him is because mom isn’t home and he refuses to go back inside.

“Luka, how many times do I have to tell you, I DONT want to see these stupid purple.. slimy worms! They’re weird!” I frown, pushing his hand away from my face before crossing my arms, huffing.

“Shut up! You don’t understand awesomeness, that’s why.. Look, here’s a pink one!” His eyes lit up again as he picked up another one from the soil, this time without a shell. He watched in fascination as it curled up on itself, as if vulnerable.

I cringed, leaning my head back to avoid contact with the slimy thing. It’s funny, you’d think I’d be used to weird sticky stuff living in Zaun. But a human is still a human and humans are different. Luka loves bugs and slugs, I hate them.

After a while of sitting and playing with him, I eventually grew tired but also, concerned. Mom has never taken this long whenever she went somewhere. “Back in a wink!” She’d say playfully, before pressing a kiss on both of our foreheads. There was no reason for me to worry, except there was. Because no Zaunite gets to live worry free as long as those enforcers get to walk freely down here.

“Lauv, when is mom coming back?” Luka asked absentmindedly, gently petting the same pink slug he found hours ago.

“I don’t know…” I answered, gently brushing the dirt off his hair before ruffling it. It’s been hours since she left, and each minute made the pit in my stomach deepen. Something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I had already went inside once or twice to check if the stove was on, if the tap water was running, if any animal had gotten through our window to cause mischief. Nothing. Should I go out and look for her? Even though that’s the exact opposite of what she’d want, she couldn’t blame them. She’s been gone since lunchtime, it was almost dinner.

“Hey, wanna go look for her?” I suggested, smiling a little enthusiastically to bring my brother’s sinking spirit up. Maybe he could feel it too, that gnawing pit that ate away at your stomach, trying to warn you that something was going bad, horrible even. He nodded before grabbing my hand and standing up. It won’t be that hard, we’ll just have to check the bridge, The Last Drop, maybe further down the Lanes where her friends lived… yeah. We’ll find her.

____

We looked everywhere. The bridge. The Last Drop. We even went so far into the underground we almost got snatched by some chembarons! We looked everywhere, we saw everyone, but no Mom. She wasn’t anywhere.

“Do you think-“

“Don’t. They have no reason to. Not like they’d care, but just- Don’t say that.” I interrupted, holding his hand tighter as if that would calm the storm inside my head. We were on our way to the river, hoping, praying, that she might’ve just forgot about us and decided to enjoy the sunset, that she was finally taking time for herself. But I knew that was impossible, because no one can truly rest and breathe in this hellhole.

“We’ll find her.”

Let alone a mother.

———

The wind blew gently, kissing the men in blue uniforms as they patted eachother on the shoulder and gave eachother approving nods. They tucked their guns close to their chests before walking away with straight and proud shoulders. As if they just completed a successful mission of getting rid of a bother. Getting rid of nuisance, a criminal. A Zaunite.

Luka frowned at the sight, trying to pull me away from their direction so that we wouldn’t have to deal with interrogation because even he, a 7 year old child, knew how much of a nightmare those Enforcers could be when they wanted to.

But wouldn’t I budge.

I couldn’t move. It was as if time had stopped the moment my heartbeat did. No.. We were too late.

“No..” I whispered, slowly walking towards the grass near the river because right at the edge, close enough to be kissed by the gentle waters, was Mom.

My breath hitched, eyes widening. My grip on Lukas hand loosened as he stood behind, too scared to come forward. There was no way…

“Mom! Shit, don’t joke around like this- It’s not funny! Come on..” I tried to chuckle as I ran up to her, crouching down to try and wake her up. Tried to make the sound that I knew would’ve woke her up in an instant if she were to truly be faking it. But it wouldn’t make sense. She would’ve never done something as insensitive as pretend to die.

I kneeled down next to her body, my hands hovering over her body as if deciding where to hold first. I took a closer look at her, one that I would regret forever.

I gasped, my hands immediately retracting to cover my mouth in pure shock and terror. Her neck. The neck that was usually adorned with shiny jewels passed down from generations, soon to be passed down to me, was now scarred so deeply. Those red cuts, deep enough to expose her red flesh, so obviously made with force and struggle. She could’ve been beheaded. Her throat was slit so deeply, so inhumanly. The blood had soaked into the soil underneath, bleeding into the water beside her and dyeing her newly blonde hair a dark crimson. I placed her nearly severed head on my lap, soaking my dress instead. Her dress.

She had bullet wounds. Her long purple dress had holes with blood pooling through. She used to be so full of warmth, and they drained everything from her. As if they wanted to make sure she had no warmth left to embrace us with if she was given the chance.

“Mom… I-“ I gasped. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream and run away from her corpse in disgust and fear, but I couldn’t. Her head tipped back and more blood poured down my lap, making me let out a scream that startled my brother. It was holding on by a thread at this point.

“Why would they do this to you?..” My voice was shaky as I tried to figure out a way to hold her without breaking her. My vision was blurring with a sea of tears, but I couldn’t look away, I just slowly held her close, trying to warm my draining heart with her drained body. Console myself with her presence.

“.. Lauv?”

I froze.

Luka.

I couldn’t let him see this. I couldn’t let the monstrosity the enforcers had left my mother in taint my brother’s image of her. Atleast I was old enough to understand the true depth of this. He was just a kid.

“Luka, look away. Now.” I tried my best to sound firm, despite how shaky and weak my voice was. He must’ve gotten the hint, his small feet immediately turning to face away from her corpse.

“.. Is she okay? She’s not.. dead, is she?” He said in a small voice, fidgeting with his fingers anxiously. Oh mom, why did you have to leave now? Why not when we’re older and wiser? At least then I’d know how to handle this.

I wanted to tell him that yes, mom was gone, dead. She was never gonna come back again. We were never gonna see that fond look on her face everytime he did something to impress her. Never gonna hear her voice reassure us as the armed men raided our neighbours, telling us that that would never be us. That she would never let them take us.

But she never reassured us that they would never take her from us.

And I, just stayed quiet. Slowly running my finger over her lids to put her to rest, letting the grieving air spell it out for him instead. Maybe Janna could explain it better than I could.

———

Slowly, gently, we let her float away.

In the river that she always took us to watch, how the waves crashed against the shore, how the calming hum of the river always managed to lull Luka to sleep. But also, to play. To teach Luka how to swim, to teach me how to swim, to find the prettiest rock and to then throw it back into the water the farthest we could.

In the river that she found the most peace with.

Now, she could finally rest in peace with the waters she’d dreamed of flowing with. Free, and without worry. I had wrapped her neck up with some white cloth to make sure she’d stay intact and Luka helped me change her into a pink and yellow dress. Pink was my favourite colour and yellow was his. Now, wherever she decided to float away to, she’d still have us with her.

I held Lukas hand once again, watching with silent mourning eyes as the water pulled my mother away and felt my soul go with her. I didn’t have any tears left to cry and the boy was just.. there, his mind seemingly still in denial. He held a neon purple slug with green splotches all over it close to himself. Holding it close as if it was mom reincarnated.

Maybe that’s what the enforcers saw when they murdered my mom. The same way I’d step on those gross slugs Luka would bring home, crush them until they’re nothing but matter, they crushed her. They shot her down and sliced her throat open, playing with her corpse because we weren’t human enough to them. We were just bugs to stare at in pity. To be fascinated with, study, just to then be thrown away. But she wasn’t no bug, and they probably realised that. That’s why they went so hard on her. The state they left her in, eyes wide open and mouth gasping. Not from pain, not from shock, but from fear and grief.

Because now, her children were orphans, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

#THANK YOU I’ll keep that in mind next time!!💕💕

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lauvieknows · 25 days ago

Text

Lauvie’s Past

(I’m not a writer btw so this is the best I could muster up💔 She’s like 14 during all of this and her brother is 7 btw.) TW: Descriptions of death, like her mom is almost decapitated 😭

Ugh, these slugs!

“Luka, how many times do I have to tell you, I DONT want to see these stupid purple.. slimy worms! They’re weird!” I frown, pushing his hand away from my face before crossing my arms, huffing.

“Lauv, when is mom coming back?” Luka asked absentmindedly, gently petting the same pink slug he found hours ago.

____

“Do you think-“

“We’ll find her.”

Let alone a mother.

———

But wouldn’t I budge.

I couldn’t move. It was as if time had stopped the moment my heartbeat did. No.. We were too late.

“No..” I whispered, slowly walking towards the grass near the river because right at the edge, close enough to be kissed by the gentle waters, was Mom.

My breath hitched, eyes widening. My grip on Lukas hand loosened as he stood behind, too scared to come forward. There was no way…

I kneeled down next to her body, my hands hovering over her body as if deciding where to hold first. I took a closer look at her, one that I would regret forever.

“.. Lauv?”

I froze.

Luka.

“Luka, look away. Now.” I tried my best to sound firm, despite how shaky and weak my voice was. He must’ve gotten the hint, his small feet immediately turning to face away from her corpse.

But she never reassured us that they would never take her from us.

And I, just stayed quiet. Slowly running my finger over her lids to put her to rest, letting the grieving air spell it out for him instead. Maybe Janna could explain it better than I could.

———

Slowly, gently, we let her float away.

In the river that she found the most peace with.

Because now, her children were orphans, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

#oc lore #arcane oc #arcane #Original character #OOC: sorry for not posting in a while👅👅

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