putting my hand up during sex to ask a clarifying question about the order you just gave me
23K notes
·
View notes
thought about boobs yesterday thinking about boobs today will think about boobs tomorrow
5K notes
·
View notes
thanksgiving is like the superbowl for r/AmItheAsshole
38K notes
·
View notes
What if - and hear me out - we took a nap?
24K notes
·
View notes
I used to flirt with you back in the day, but your disappeared and i didn't know how to reach you. Now that you're back, How have you been? I know you must be married or at least engaged to your fake gf by now right?!
Nah, I'm still single as a two dollar bill. I'm good tho. I got a new job that I actually like. I got a house with my sisters. I got a new car. I'm finally doing pretty good. My fake girlfriend is actually happily married with a pup! Beautiful couple.
1 note
·
View note