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[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

You’re hired!

I got my first CNA job! I start training on Monday! It’s pretty exciting. I’ll be working at a SNF where I did my last clinicial. It’s small and there’s a lot of natural light- “a lot” being relative. It’s also, close to my neighborhood and I can drive there or I can just hop on the Judah and get there in about 20 minutes (door to door) and not have to hassle with parking. I’m excited- a little apprehensive but this was kind of the “plan” it’s all coming together which is... surprising, actually. 

~~~

I’m almost done with my requirements for nursing school (liability insurance, titers and all that). All that I have left is my physical next Tuesday, my ID badge (waiting for a good hair day), and then, sometime before the first day of class, I get to spend almost $1000 (that I don’t have) on books! Hurray!!

New books are SO expensive. Like $200 or $300 a piece expensive. Back in the day the “nice” teachers would assign the previous editions so broke ass folk like myself could get them used for a bit/a lot less. And I got really good at finding used books through online retailers, so that worked out. 

Then, I dunno, 10 years ago actual online books came out- not required just an option. And I was like, no thank you. I don’t like reading on screens and, also, used copies don’t exist. So that’s a double "no thank you!”.

In many ways I’m excited for how technology can help people learn. I wonder how different my education would have been, how my self confidence would have been impacted, had these tools been available to me in elementary school and middle school. I never felt like I was smart- I knew I was creative and I could find a work around but that’s different than just knowing the answer and having foundational knowledge. 

AI can identify what people don’t understand and have them review concepts. In my experience  adaptive learning and customized quizzes. And teachers can assign things through the online portal and track our progress; apparently they can see what we’re read (or haven’t read). It’s pretty exciting. A little invasive butI’m not looking forward to staring at a screen that much but maybe it will hold people accountable. Anyone can tell their instructor they read the material but if you’re not doing well and the teacher can also see that you’re not actually doing the work then it’s a different conversation.

Aw, crap, speaking of spending money. I probably need to buy new scrubs for my job. I doubt they’ll let me wear my white ones. AND new shoes. Dammit!!! 

Uggghhh. I hate being poor.

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Scrubs

I knew the RN uniform was going to be unflattering. (I ran into a few of the CCSF RNs during my CNA clinical wearing their shapeless, frumpy burlap thick uniforms). So my expectations were low and reality didn’t improve that ranking. The top is “unisex” which is bullshit- that just means it’s a mens cut that also comes in XS.

Speaking of scrubs, anybody else have TLC running through their head? Oh, just me? Cool... anyways, no, I don’t want your number. No, I don’t want to give you mine! Oh, but I did learn from my CNA experience and size up this time. My CNA uniform was my exact size and looked pretty cute... until I tried to put anything in a pocket and then it pooched and puckered all over the place- cute but not very practical. 

I was doing some internet sleuthing last week on the uniform to see if I could find a used uniforms and I found a former CCSF student selling her scrub top and jacket (with the CCSF patches still attached) on PoshMark. They were about half the cost of purchasing new. So, I was pretty stoked when my sizes ended up being the same as the one’s she was selling. SOLD! I literally purchased them in the middle of orientation- I was not about to miss that deal. 

The used scrubs arrived on Thursday and they’re in perfect condition- bright white and no stains at all. Pictures looked good but you never know... I’m actually shocked that they were used for 2 years. I wore my CNA scrubs for 4 months and I’m convinced they have a yellow tinge and somehow I managed to get black pen stains on BOTH of my shirts.

Oh, tried my nursing uniform top on for Ramon (my pants haven’t arrived yet). I did a little shimmy in my shapeless burlap sack and he frowned, shook his head and told me I was not fulfilling his nurse fantasy. Hahahaha.

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Had a good but difficult FT with Phoenix today. He was engaged and seemed really happy to talk to us but he also seemed disappointed and… angry? He’d just woken up from a nap so that might have had something to do with it.

His birthday party was “okay”. We didn’t get many details but we know he went to the water park on Oahu and he has really been looking forward to it. But something happened and “the first two hours weren’t fun at all”. Something got mixed up or they had to wait for something. He just seemed really disappointed.

During the call he was itching his legs like crazy, Hawaii has really bad mosquitoes apparently. We asked if he had any cream to help the itching. He made a face sort of like rolling hood eyes and said: “No because mom thinks Hawaii is perfect”.

I know what he means but his phrasing is odd… We said as much and that “Hawaii being perfect” was not a reason to not have medicine. We encouraged him to ask his mom again, or ask another adult like Jeremy or his nanny.

I want him to wise up to Jennie but it’s so awful when it happens because he doesn’t get angry. He just gets disappointed and that is just crushing to witness.

We know she doesn’t have medicine for him here in SF. But we both assumed she was being petty and treating SF liked her vacation home and refusing to stock it with medicine since Maui is his “real home”. So of course she’d have medicine in Hawaii... but apparently not. I don’t get it. This kid can’t catch a break.

The day before Phoenix left, Jennie texted Ramon asking if Phoenix wanted anything from her SF apartment to take with him to Hawaii. So Phoenix requested his legos and his stuffy. Apparently she didn’t bring either. Why did she even bother asking.

Just another disappointment. And she orchestrated it. Like why offer if you’re not going to do it?? Poor kid. He just got the short stick when it comes to moms 😢

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Be flexible

Next week’s orientation has been moved to 9:30 because we’re having uniform fittings at 8:40 that morning! Eek!!! I’m so excited. I’ve seen the uniforms and they look SUPER dorky (on everyone) but I don’t care- I’m still excited. 

Oh, and that pesky Admissions Packet that they’re sending out "the week of June 12th”? That I’ve been waiting on pins and needles for since May 24th?Yeah, strike “June 12th”, it will actually be handed out to us at orientation instead. (So, that would be the week of June 19th, in case anyone besides me has a calendar or was, I dunno, hoping to review the information beforehand.)

Questions I wish I had answers to... 1. How many qualified people apply to CCSF RN program each year? Just give me some numbers; the last 3 years for example: 400, 500, 900?? (Also, confirm that 100 total are accepted every year, 50 each semester) 2. What’s the college code for Dove Uniforms? How much do they cost? How many do we need? How many do most students order? One set? Two? More?  3. What’s the book list? I AM POOR. My boyfriend is supporting me, not my parents. The earlierI can get a jump start looking for required books at a discounted price the better. 4. Talk to me about the Multi-Criteria-Worksheet. I can’t seem to get a straight answer from anyone. And it sounds like it might be changing for next year- but how does it work? Once you meet the minimum your name gets thrown into a big pot and then names get pulled out at random? Or, is it more strategic? Do they pull out top 200 and then filter through? I have no idea what a strong application looks like so it was really hard to know if I was even competitive. It feels like a lot of energy that could have been directed elsewhere...

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

June 12

Canada is on fire. Trump has been indicted for storing secret documents in his bathroom. To date, over 18,806 people have been killed by gun violence in the United States. Drag shows are still legal, and PHOENIX IS 9!!!!!

He left on Friday. He’s with his mom and having a great time but man do I miss him. Only getting 1 week of summer vacation with him really sucks!

Blah. Out of my control right now. Focus on something else.

~~~

June 12th is also the first day of Summer classes. I’m taking Sociology 101 which I’m kind of excited about but also annoyed about (I’m sure it will be interesting and I’ll learn something, but the 103 and 310 classes I already took, and got an A in, weren’t sufficient? Has to be 101? If I were paying for classes I’d think it was a financial strategy to eek more money out of me, but City is free so it’s more likely some we’ll intentioned but not fully thought through requirement.

ZOMG so many things out of my control

I got my desk work area organized yesterday. Well, I’m 90% there. It’s looking good though. I took a bookcase from Phoenix’s room and shoved all the supplies that were on/under/around my desk onto that so now the chaos is controlled or at least contained and my desktop is empty which helps immensely.

Another thing that’s empty is my inbox. Where is my admissions packet? I’m supposed to receive it “the week off June 12th” but nothing yet. It’s painful… there is like zero sense of urgency. And I could understand the vague language of it were snail mail but this is an email. You can decide the date you want someone to receive an email- you can schedule it.

But, maybe, like every other person on the planet, the person responsible for sending that email is overwhelmed. Or hasn’t finalized all the details or updates. And then I’m thinking- but wait don’t you have a system? You do this every year? TWICE a year? How much information has really changed since last term? Can you just send out part of the information? Something? No… nothing? Ugh…

I’m going crazy. We have our orientation on Tuesday and Monday is a holiday. Tick tock. If I don’t have an email by 2pm tomorrow I’m emailing them asking for an ETA.

Also, I haven’t just been sitting idly by waiting. I’ve been scoring the internet trying to find the information online. And I’ve found nothing.

NOTHING.

Which is probably making me extra grumpy. What am I doing wrong? It’s out there I just can’t figure out how to access it- SO frustrating!! I’ve spent more time than I want to admit trying to find a book list or a syllabus on any of the courses on the program: a copy of the book list, syllabus, blogs by former students, anything. I’ve found NOTHING. I must just be looking in the wrong places. This is how I know I’m old- I’m going crossed searching Google “filetype:pdf” for every combination I can think of but if I just went to Kahoot or Quizlet I could find the information (I did try that BYW… but you get the idea).

Oh, and now that I’ve gotten into CCSF I need to apply to SF State for the bridge program. I’m assuming I’ll get details on this in the packet CCSF is sending me this week. Fingers crossed because there is very little information about the available online (shocker!!). I mean I can figure out the deadlines but what is the acceptance rate, canI sees copy of a past syllables, who are the professors?

I can’t be the only person who wants this information- someone must have been in my situation and documented this. How do I track down that information???

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Still enjoying my moment...

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Accepted!!!

I got my acceptance letter to City College of San Francisco’s RN Nursing Program!! I start in August!

I GOT IN! I GOT IN!! I GOT IN!!!!!!!!!! 

Wednesday, May 25, 2023 was a BIG day... 

I had my CNA graduation at 10am. Ramon, Bill and Will came to cheer me on (Diane was sick and Phoenix had school- boo!). Afterwards, the four of us went to UL to celebrate. 

Then, it was time for Will’s nap so they left. And I came home and took a nap... for like 2 hours. 

The boys got home around 6pm and woke me up, hello, hello, kiss kiss... and then I fell back asleep- don’t rush me.

I woke up to a text message from my micro lab partner Sarah at around 6:30: “Mary just got accepted into CCSF fall semester! Check your email lady!”

ZOMG!!!!. 

TIME. 

SLOWS. 

DOWN.... 

Nothing in my inbox...

Refresh. Refresh. Nope. Check my spam- nope. Back to inbox, get out of Promotions (Damn you Google!). Refresh! Refresh! No not my personal, school email. There’s a new email from Canvas notifying me that my French assignment has graded and right below that an email from CCSF Nursing Program Fall 2023...

Congratulations! Welcome to City College of San Francisco’s Nursing Program...

I ran out into the living room screaming “Ramon! Ramon! Guess what?!!!!”. (He knew exactly what I was hollering about, BTW). Then Phoenix, Ramon and I did a 3-way happy dance!!! Then Phoenix went back to playing Geometry Dash and Ramon to cooking dinner and I started rolling around on the floor making imaginary snow angles of joy.

Then I proceeded to text or call every single person I know. Mom first. Then Monika...

~ ~ ~

It’s been 7-days, and I still feel like I’m coming down off the high. It doesn’t feel quite real. That really was the longest 5 months of my life. Well, February to May that’s 4 months... well, February 3 to May 25 is actually more like 3 months and 21 days but who’s counting? 

It’s SUCH a relief. I really was not confident I’d get in. I’m still in shock that it worked out. I know some people have to apply multiple rounds. I feel so fortunate and grateful to the universe. 

And I’m proud of myself. There was some luck, and a lot of support from Ramon, but I worked my ass off for this. 

I did it!!

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Get a planner

You need one. 

Or you will need one. O

If you don’t have one... I’m mean... I dunno. Just... get one.

I’m not really a planner person. I’m a planner, I like to have a plan just not so much a planner. I’ve tried various planners before but they never really seemed to keep me organized.

I love the minimalist aesthetic- what are they called? Bullet journals? So charming and clean and... zen. Some of them look like art pieces- they’re gorgeous! But there’s no way I could do that- my planner needs to be functional it’s not being entered for a beauty contest. I can strive for minimalist but really if I can just be organized enough to not miss deadlines it’s a win.

I spent A LOT of time looking for a planner that would help me with time management. I stumbled across the planner by Order Out of Chaos made specifically for students. It has a really unique layout: it’s a vertical planner the top half of the page has a separate section for each class with a To-Do box at the bottom and the bottom half of the day is time blocked. Each class essentially has it’s own row so I can quickly glance at a row and know everything I need to do for that class this week. A lot of people use color coding but I don’t trust myself to remember to bring the right highlighters- it’s more work for me.

I liked the layout but the size (8x11) and aesthetics weren’t my favorite. Global Printing Company (Amazon) made a similar one that was 7x9 that I LOVED. Basic basic basic but less than $15 and durable. But now they’ve discontinued that layout. Blah.

Straight A Nursing makes a good planner but I wanted a dated planner... not a dealbreaker but I’m still looking.

So far the best option I’ve found has been the Happy Planner Mini. It’s a little on the small side. Going to try finishing the year using the Mini but I might have to upsize to the Original size.

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Patience is a virtue

Sender: San Francisco State University Nursing Department

“On behalf of the Nursing Admission Committee, I am sorry to inform you that your application to the BSN Accelerated program for Summer 2023 entry has been denied. We received more applications than we can accommodate...”

Ugh. Sigh. Hardly my first rejection but does it ever really get easier?

Not a shock, it’s a really competitive program and I didn’t have any volunteer or work experience but it was still disappointing. I told my friend’s and family the bad news and they commiserated with me and sent words of encouragement. 

Three days later the Graduate Studies Department sent me a follow up email to let me know their department had also rejected me. 

“Your application for admission as a graduate student at San Francisco State University has been carefully reviewed by the Graduate Admissions office and the faculty of the academic department to which you applied.  Based on a review of all your application materials, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for admission to the Bachelor of Science - Nursing program for Summer 2023. Admission to graduate programs is selective and more people apply than can be accepted...”

Thanks. Just in case I had even a glimmer of hope after that last very clear letter of rejection you’ve squashed it dead. Well done.

So all my eggs in one basket... fingers crossed for CCSF. Toes too!

CCSF update:

I just found out this afternoon that CCSF won’t accept the Spring cohort until the end of JUNE!! ZOMG... I knew there were 2 cohorts but just assumed they sent the acceptance letters at the same time. If I don’t get a letter in May I have to wait until the end of June to know for sure?! I’m DYING!!!!!!!!

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

White scrubs do look pretty sharp. Not gonna lie. It’s definitely a look. We stand out like disco-balls which has it’s pros and cons. And then there’s the fact that EVERYTHING shows up on white and we are dealing with bodily fluids... 

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Shoes shoes shoes

And I thought finding the uniform was tricky!

I was in my head about not wanting to spend money on shoes and got a pair of leather Keds for $35 and they’re okay. Not my style but whatever not really trying to be cute and they’re going to get gross with hospital germs. But they’re just not that comfortable either. So just not winning.

I know not everyone it into a clog but I worked as a server for years and LOVED my Dansko clogs (well technically they were Mary Jane’s clogs called Marcelle in patent leather that are now disco) but they were THE BEST. Patent leather seems odd until you realize that anything that spills on them just wipes off like magic. Ugh... such fond memories! Unfortunately the RN program at my school doesn’t allow clogs- full stop. No Dankso and no Crocs.

I’m sure there’s a valid reason but it’s still super annoying. I mean, I could RUN in my clogs. Not just after the bus but hauling ass to the kitchen because I fired an order wrong or too soon and needed to tell the kitchen. Not once, in 5+ years, did I roll my ankle. The floor of my restaurant was concrete and I worked 8+ hour shifts but my feet were rarely sore. Ugh... they weren’t cute but they worked so well for me. I wonder if I can get a doctor’s note or something... 

JK... sorta.

Waterproof leather shoes are not that easy to find. Most running shoes have mesh which isn’t allowed. So that limits me to really expensive options. Clove, HOKA, I mean I’d love to get some HOKAs... those look real nice but they’re also double the cost. Clove is another option but basically the same price as HOKA but not as cute. Blah.

Maybe Vans? I mean I do love me some Vans slip ons. I’ve never had a pair in leather and I usually just wear them for everyday- who knows how much I’d love them after walking around a hospital for 12 hours..

But WHEN I get into nursing school a new pair of shoes will be my present to myself. Right now Vans is leading the pack.

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

White on White

Our uniforms are white on white with white shoes. No chance being a wallflower because we stand out like disco balls. I’ve had to up my laundry game- keeping these white is a project. Also scrubs are not made with the thickest of materials and white cotton can be very transparent. It took some trial and error to find a brand that thick enough so I wasn’t sharing all my information but not too scratchy. Thankfully my favorite option was also the most economical. #CherokeeWorkwearRevolution Also, layering. I rarely layer under my pants but tried a couple different long sleeve options under my top and they all worked well. I needed them for warmth and wasn’t sweating so material didn’t really matter- wicking wasn’t a major consideration.

Oh sizing. So challenging...

I realize this isn’t a beauty contest but I don’t want to be swimming in my scrubs. Also, from a functional perspective, if my scrubs are too baggy then my top will be loose and could rub up against... things. Yuck!

Or that’s what I thought. I got two different scrub tops both with apron pockets. They fit “just right”... until I loaded up the pockets and then they flipped out at the bottom which looked weird and was annoying. 

I think it really comes down to what pockets you actually use. I do like the convenience of the apron pocket so I either need a larger scrub top OR more likely, I’ll tuck in my top and have a fanny pack for my supplies.

Pants were easier at least in terms of fit. I was on the cusp for sizing so I got both sizes and they fit fine but I think I need a tall, definitely in the smaller size. 

And I had issue with the top in terms of pockets. It was only when I started wearing the pants that I realized what details mattered (i.e. what pockets I actually use).

I don’t use the back butt pockets, except for sometimes holding my phone. Only thing I used my front pockets for was to keep my hands warm. And I’d like to be able to use the cargo pockets but, on this model at least, they were placed too low. They were about 2 inches below where my hand falls and kind of next to my knee which I didn’t realize was an issue until I tried walking. Also to get something out of the pocket was a struggle and I got all twisted trying wrestle it out.

Next time I get cargo pants I’m looking at the pocket placement- from the little bit of sleuthing I’ve done so far the more expensive the pant the better placed the pocket. Grumble.

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

[laughteristhebestmedicinelol]

Step 1

Not saying this is how I did it (I didn’t) but if I could go back... this is how I’d do it.

RN was always my long term goal. I was taking pre-requisites and decided to go for my CNA as a backup plan while I was applying to RN programs. Most RNA programs require (or encourage) you to have 100+ hours of volunteer or work experience but I didn’t have any. I was planning to volunteer but a competitive GPA and grasping the concepts was top priority and I just didn’t have the time. (No regrets there I have a 4.0 in my pre-reqs and I’m really proud of that. Also having that solid foundation will benefit me when I do get into a program). Anyways, the CNA certification seemed like a really savvy move. If I got into and RN program I could potentially work one or two days a week as a CNA- that would be really helpful financially. Also, if I didn’t get into an RN program I could work and get experience in the field so my next application would be stronger. 

At my school the CNA is a lottery but I got lucky and made the cut!

I recommend:

1. Apply to a CNA program

2. Work as a CNA and complete pre-reqs

3. Apply to RN program