latisthegenderfluidwannabealone

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Blood Sugar Virus (26)

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Genre: Horror, zombies, strangers to lovers, angst, suspense, slow burn Pairing: Kang Yeosang x female!reader Warnings: based on the Wanteez Zombie episode, ages are based on current Ateez rather than the time at which the actual episode was filmed, zombies, language, discussion of parasites, gore, angst, heavy topics, some vomit sorry

Story Summary: You (stage name Sugar) are the co-captain of a horror acting group. You and your guys are the ones the companies hire when they want to stage a zombie, ghost, or any vaguely horrific and dystopian episode. So when you get hired by Ateez to develop a zombie program, it's just another routine that you've done a million times. Everything's going exactly according to script--until suddenly it isn't, and it starts getting a little too real.

🏆 Esteemed Moot: @ramadiiiisme

⭐️ Reader Spotlight: @mrsminseochoi (thank you for inspiring part of this chapter!!)

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Before the charging figure even makes it around the corner, you spot the axe on the wall in a glass case. Figuring it’s a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency situation, you point at the box and give the job to one of your stronger companions. “Get the axe,” you’re about to take stock, to see who’s in the best position to speak to specifically, when Yeosang makes the decision for you.

“Hyung, get the axe. Sugar, get the door code.” He pushes you towards the control room, and you make a mental note to tell them the code in case something happens to you.

You’re moving so fast that your hand crushes against the key pad painfully before you can touch the buttons.

“Oh, shit!” Mingi’s voice hisses, and then you hear a snarl and bodies colliding.

It’s Jungkook.

Jungkook, your youngest, bravest, strongest teammate, tackling Mingi viciously to the ground.

Yunho crushes the box with a single punch of his fist, kicking off his shoe to use to break away the rest of the safety glass. As it crumbles to the ground, Yeosang lunges at Jungkook.

“Yeosang!”

The shout is yours, your body lurching away from the door to try to get him away from the zombie.

“Get the door!” He shouts back at you, looping his arm around Jungkook’s throat and hauling his entire body off of Mingi. “Just get the door!”

For a second, you’re frozen by indecision, watching Jungkook whirl around and throw himself at Yeosang.

The door doesn’t matter if you die in the hallway.

You take another step towards them, but then Yunho has the axe. He spins around and immediately rushes in to join the fight, and your entire body fills with horror.

He’s going to cut your little brother into pieces and you can’t watch.

As Mingi gets himself to his feet and jumps in to grab at Jungkook, you turn on your heel and hurry back to the door. You can hear them behind you, grunting, growling, feet scraping the floor. The keypad flashes green in acceptance of your code and you throw the door open, spinning back just in time to see Yeosang and Mingi just barely holding Jungkook by the arms, and Yunho raising the axe.

“No!” The scream tears up your throat, ripping a burning trail of tissue and leaving a tangy taste in your mouth, and Yunho freezes, looking back at you.

Shame hits you, complete and utter shame, and you see all three of your friends stare at you.

“Get inside!” You hiss instead, hauling Yunho back towards you by the shirt.

“Sugar, the zombie!” Mingi exclaims, losing his grip on Jungkook with every passing second as your youngest member thrashes and yowls with feverish excitement.

You shouldn’t have stopped Yunho.

You shouldn’t have endangered them like that.

But it’s too late now.

It’s your mess. You have to fix it. Before Yunho can grab you, yelling at you to stop, you center every ounce of weight in your body and charge with all the force you can muster right at Jungkook.

“Sugar, stop!” Yeosang shouts, but you plow directly into Jungkook, your arms around the trunk of his body, hitting him so hard you both fly back towards the floor. His arms rip out of Mingi’s and Yeosang’s grasp, crashing to the ground with you on top of him.

“Get inside!” You scream, hoping you can be heard past the zombie yowling in your ear, drowning out all other noise. His hands claw your back, slashing open your fresh gashes, his teeth snapping at your throat.

He’s too strong, too wild, too frantic to be held.

There’s no way you can get yourself up and away from him, not with your arms trapped beneath him. You’ve put yourself right into the jaws of the beast. Panic crawls up your throat, overtaking all thoughts, and all you can do is press your face into Jungkook’s neck, clinging to him so closely that all he can do is claw at your sides and bite at the back of your head with a limited range of movement.

His teeth snag your hair, tugging at your scalp. You feel your ear get pinched, a cry of pain only serving to excite him further.

Before he can rip your ear off, the rough cloth of a towel gets shoved between your head and his face, and then arms are wrapping around your waist, yanking you off of Jungkook.

As you’re lifted away, you see Mingi cinching the towel around his head. The moment you’re free, being hauled back down the hall in someone’s arms, Mingi throws Jungkook back with all his might, letting one end of the towel go, and sprints past you into the control room.

Darkness falls over you as you’re carried into the room as well, and then Yunho slams the door shut.

“I’m sorry.” You’re crying as Yeosang (it has to be Yeosang) sets you back on your feet. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” You face him, wrought with guilt and shame. “It was reflex, stopping you, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t watch—he’s my…god, Yunho, I’m so sorry.”

He’s panting, eyes dark, one hand still gripping the axe. “Sugar, stop.”

You can’t stop. Your body doubles over, sobs breaking through your chest, regret warring with the knowledge that you never could have watched him drive an axe through Jungkook. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to let you get hurt. Mingi, Yeosang, I’m so sorry.”

A warm hand touches your head, and you lift your face to see Yunho frowning down at you. “Stop.” He says softly. “No one got hurt. I get it. I understand why you did it.” He doesn’t say that you can’t stop him again. He doesn’t tell you that next time, you’re just going to have to close your eyes and choose not to look. He doesn’t have to tell you that he won’t spare the body of the person you once knew if it comes down to saving one of his brothers.

“I’m sorry.” Now you understand why he had apologized incessantly to you, what he had meant when he told you that he couldn’t stop saying sorry when it was all he could feel.

“I wouldn’t have been able to watch that happen to one of us.” Mingi says quietly behind you. “We understand.”

You straighten, turning to find him, to plead with him that you never wanted him to suffer for Jungkook’s sake, but it’s Yeosang behind you. His chest is heaving with exertion, his features pinched with anger and fear, and he’s glaring right at you.

It makes you want to fall to your knees and beg for forgiveness. “I’m so sorry, Yeosang. I’m so sorry.”

He shakes his head, backing away from you. “We understand.” He says tightly.

He turns away from you.

Mingi’s looking at you with so much pity in his eyes that you want to just sink into the floor and disappear forever.

But you can’t. You don’t deserve to be the captain of this team anymore, but until they decide to usurp you, you have to do your job. Scrubbing your sleeve over your face, sniffling pathetically, you move away from the three of them and kneel on the floor next to the medical supplies that you had abandoned after the incident with Jimin.

Scraping up the components that had fallen out of the AED box, you focus on fitting them all back in and getting the lid shut.

They watch you silently.

“When Jungkook’s gone, we’ll go back down. We can take the stairwell. Do what you need to do, Yunho, with the axe if you need to.” You pull yourself to your feet and blink away the tears that keep welling in your eyes. “It’s very hard to me to think of my friends as zombies. As beyond saving. They’re my family. They’ve been my family for over a decade.”

All three of them are listening, quiet, discomforted.

“It was instinct to stop you from hurting him, but I will not let any of you get hurt to protect them. I don’t believe I can protect him anymore. The three of you are my priority. I’m sorry that I failed you out there. It wasn’t intentional. I won’t let it happen again. If it does…if I fail you again, I don’t expect you to listen to me. I’m very sorry.”

They don’t say anything.

You turn away, lowering yourself to the floor near the door where you can listen for Jungkook’s eventual departure.

You’ve now done the same thing to them that Yunho did to you. How small minded you had been to think that weren’t capable of the same rash mistakes. How hypocritical you had been to feel so much betrayal towards him.

You’d stopped him from helping Yeosang and Mingi, just like he’d stopped Yeosang from helping you.

You deserve their wrath.

You deserve their distrust.

You could have gotten them killed.

Jungkook was a force to be reckoned with as a living human being. He’s nigh unstoppable as an uninhibited zombie.

They could have been torn to pieces.

All because you couldn’t let Yunho kill a zombie.

“Sugar, we don’t—” Mingi starts. “I don’t think anyone blames you. It would have been a terrible thing to watch someone you love be…you know. I don’t know how any of us would have lived with that without seeing it for the rest of our lives.” He kneels next to you. “For me…speaking for me…I’m grateful to you. What you did back there gave us the chance to escape without …I didn’t have to watch a person be…” he can’t say the words.

He squeezes your knee gently. “Thank you. They’re right about you, you’re a fucking badass. I’ve never seen someone tackle a zombie.”

“She does that.” Yeosang mutters.

You don’t look up, but you hear a muffled smacking sound, and then Yeosang grunts.

“I’m with Mingi.” Yunho says. “I almost chopped a man to death. Reflex or not, because of you, I don’t have to carry that with me.” He’s next to you then, dropping a hand to your head and scruffing your scalp gently. “We’ll do what we have to do to get all of us out of here, but I’m also grateful to you. Okay?”

Your eyes clamp shut, tears soaking your face. Their words are kind and insistent and desperately sincere, but your heart still clenches.

What if Jungkook had seized the moment? What if he had attacked Yunho while his back was turned? What if he attacked Mingi or Yeosang? What if you had gotten them killed?

They’ve been so kind to you. So kind and caring and trusting (after they were convinced of your innocence). You’ve come to love them all like your own, and to think of watching any of them fall and be left behind turns your stomach.

They could have died.

You could have lost them.

Nausea rising, you scramble away from the two men next to you and hurl in the corner of the room, every bit of that cherished granola bar forcing its way up your throat.

A hand touches your head again, pulling your hair away from your shoulders. You’re crying, heaving, apologizing, but the person behind you just closes his hand around the back of your neck and rubs softly at your heated skin.

“There’s a supply room back here.” You hear Yunho say quietly. “We’ll take a look, see if there’s anything we can use.” Soft footsteps move behind you and a door opens and closes, and then it’s just you and the person holding your hair as you retch like a drunk college girl.

When the upheaval in your stomach subsides, you push yourself back on your heels and find yourself sobbing, messy, fractured. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The hand on you just keeps rubbing, thumb curving around your neck in sweeping, soothing motions.

Drool and bile drips from your lips, and you hide your face with shame. “I’m disgusting.” You whisper. “Can I have one of the towels?”

The hand, probably Mingi’s, lifts from your neck and your hair falls around your shoulders. A second later, a towel drops in your lap. You expect it to be bloody and damp with Jungkook’s saliva, remembering the way it was used to pull his face away from you, but it’s clean.

You’re wiping your face, scrubbing at your lips with harsh intensity that makes your skin feel raw, when the person kneels next to you with a brown bottle of peroxide.

“It’s diluted. You can swish this to get rid of the taste.”

It’s Yeosang.

Yeosang, who glared holes into your soul one minute and couldn’t look at you the next, on his knees next to you and your mess, holding the bottle out to you. He twists the lid off and presses it into your hands. Too stunned to thank him, you raise the bottle to your lips and tip back a tiny, bitter swig.

As you swish the solution around in your mouth, feeling the acid taste of bile and food leave your tongue, Yeosang gathers your dirty hair again and holds it away from your face.

“Spit it out,” he reminds you softly. “I’m sure you’re thirsty but I think that would be unpleasant.”

The laugh you reflexively feel at the suggestion almost makes you choke and swallow the whole mouthful. You spit it on the floor and put the bottle down. Now that the wretched moment is over, you’re disgusted. You want to get yourself and him as far away from the mess you made as possible, and you start scrambling backwards on your knees.

“Alright, slow down.” Yeosang drops your hair, gripping you beneath your elbows and lifting you easily to your feet.

“Get away.” You rasp, but that’s not what you mean. “Get away from it. I’m so sorry. It’s disgusting, I’m so sorry.”

He pulls you away from your soiled corner of the room. “Alright, let’s go to the desk. Go slow, it’s okay.” He brings you to the desk where Jimin had fought with the school alarm systems, and helps you perch on the edge of it.

Yunho and Mingi are still closed into the store room, light seeping from under the door, their muffled voices sounding from within.

Yeosang sits in the desk chair in front of you.

For a minute you just stare at your hands in your lap, wondering if you should apologize again or if you should keep your mouth shut and let him hate you. You should. You should just let him resent you and not beg him to see your point of view, because what you did is far worse than any reasoning could justify.

In spite of the responsible voices in your head— “I know you’re angry at me.” It’s acceptance. It’s a promise that he doesn’t have to be kind to you just because you’re pathetic. It’s assurance that you don’t expect him to forgive you just because they did.

“I’m not angry that you didn’t let Yunho axe a member of your family to pieces in front of us.” He says carefully. “Once we had a minute to breathe, we all felt the same way. None of us wanted to see that.”

You meet his eyes in surprise, but there’s still anger there.

He leans back, running a hand through his hair. “You threw yourself at a zombie. Again.”

Yeah, you did do that.

To save them.

“He would have killed you. And Mingi.”

He shakes his head, lips pursed. For a second he just watches you sit there, trembling, bleeding. His eyes fall to your hip, where your pink sweatpants have a bloody patch that has by now spread down your thigh to your knee. “Yunho didn’t look at that.” He says suddenly, and you remember the office, where Yunho had cleaned the scratches on your front.

He hadn’t dealt with the now further inflamed marks on your back, either, but you don’t say that.

“It’s fine.” Your voice is a whisper.

He stands. “There’s plenty of med stuff here.” Yeosang moves over to the shelves, selecting a few items slowly, before moving back to you. He pulls the chair up until he’s sitting so close you can smell his unique mixture of perspiration and blood and him, and sets his supplies down next to you.

His hands go to your waistband, and then he stops, looking up at you. “May I?”

To be staring into his eyes, still dark with anger but soft with concern, feels like a far more intimate moment than it should be. You can’t speak. Instead you nod, and fight a shiver as his fingers brush your skin, curling around your elastic waistband and pulling your sweatpants down so he can see the raw bite from the gym.

“I saw this happen.” He murmurs to you.

You think you spot a flush of pink tinge his cheeks as he works your waistband down to secure it beneath the weight of your thigh.

“When that zombie fell on you. I thought they had you.” He turns his face away to douse a length of gauze with the peroxide you had used to clean your mouth.

“Hongjoong saved me.” You tell him in barely more than a whisper. Your brain is scrambling to make sense of this moment, to sort through why your heart is racing and why his closeness makes you want to lean into him.

“I saw.” He brings the wet gauze to your hip and begins gently dabbing at the torn, ragged flesh, clearing away all the fibers from your sweats.

You hiss at the sting, jerking away, and he looks up at you as he pauses.

“I’ll be quick.” He promises. “You can…” his jaw clenches and loosens. “You can hold on to me if you need to.”

The tension in his voice makes you think he’d rather you didn’t, so you don’t. You squeeze your hands into fists on top of your thighs. “Keep going. I can take it.”

His eyes flash, but he looks back down and keeps working, more gently than before.

The warmth of his trembling touch is entirely drowned out by the white hot pain flooding your head. You feel yourself swaying, breath caught, vision blacking.

The pain stops suddenly as Yeosang grabs your clenched fist and drags it to his shoulder. “Hold on to me. And breathe.”

You take in a shuddering inhale, about to draw your arm back, when he presses the peroxide back to your bite and your hand squeezes down on the hard muscle of his shoulder.

“You act like no one cares about you.”

That hits you right in the gut. It punches so deeply into the root of all of your insecurities and struggles, feeding into the voices in your head that tell you that you haven’t earned your worth among your team yet, that you don’t even notice anymore as he continues to gingerly debride your bite. “People care about me.”

“Yeah. They do.” He soaks another wad of gauze. “But you seem determined to make them lose you.”

You don’t know if he’s seeing right through you or if he’s just commenting on your penchant for losing all sanity as soon as someone you care about is in danger. “I don’t plan to tackle zombies, it just kinda happens.”

“Jimin told us how you care for people.” He glances at you, and suddenly, from this closeness, you can see sweat marks in his makeup that you hadn’t realized he was wearing. “All the sacrifices you make.”

You frown. “Why would he tell you that?”

“He said you came to talk to me before you left, but you changed your mind.”

Before you left. Before you left the stairwell with Wooyoung. Your face heats. “You were busy. I wasn’t gonna say anything important, just—”

“Just goodbye.” He finishes for you. “A proper goodbye, not the things I said to you.” He’s quiet for a moment, catching a trickle of blood that seeps from your bite with a cloth.

This is not the conversation you expected to have. Sure, Wooyoung and Yunho and Hongjoong had all told you that it was probably coming, but after seeing Yeosang’s anger at you, you hadn’t expected this.

“And then you went screaming down the hallway, inviting zombies to eat you.”

A humored huff rasps from your lungs. “You heard that? It was just bravado. Just something to say in the moment. What should I have done? Sung to them?”

His gaze snaps to yours, sees the mirth there, memories of his playful offer to sing to you hitting him just as you intended. His ears redden, just a little. But he shakes his head and reaches for a bandage. “Last time we were in this room, you tried to make us leave you with Jimin. Before you figured out how to save him, you would have stayed. He would have turned into a zombie, and you wanted to stay with him.”

The memories he prompts are far less enjoyable than the one you had invoked. Your stomach clenches, heart aching. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. He’s my best friend, I couldn’t convince myself to just leave him like that.”

“Wooyoung told me what you said to him.” Yeosang presses the sticky sides of the bandage around the edges of your bite, securing the pad to protect your flesh from your dirty, bloody sweatpants. His fingers work gently to pull your waistband back up over your hip, and then he drops his hands to the desk and stares at them. “When you got to our classroom and told him what happened. He said you told him that you hope he leaves you to die in here.”

You’re frozen, unable to respond.

How do you respond to that?

Do you claim temporary insanity, the heat of the moment?

“I—”

“Do you really think anyone in this building will let you die in here?” His eyes lift again, finding yours in the dingy light.

Throat tightening, you look away. Your hands drops from his shoulder. “I’ve done horrible things tonight, Yeosang.”

“You’ve survived.” He argues. “But at some point you stopped trying to.”

“Yeah.” The scoffing admission comes easily, surprising you. “Yeah, after I chose to use another man to save myself.”

Your name on his lips is a weapon to pull you out of the hole you’re sinking into. “He would have killed you.”

“So what?” You snap angrily. “I’m supposed to protect people. I’m supposed to look out for people, and I forced him to protect me while he got ripped…ripped to pieces on top of me. And don’t tell me he was already dead. Don’t tell me he was a zombie. Don’t say he would have killed me. I chose myself over another human being and his blood is—was literally all over me.”

Blood that he had cleaned off of your hands.

Your fingers clench into fists over your thighs, eyes welling up all over again. “I still thought they could be saved, and I chose not to give him that chance.”

“It sucks.” He says seriously. “It sucks, what happened. It’s horrible. It’s traumatizing. And I think, right now, you’re not able to see that your life has value, or that you did the right thing. So listen to me instead.” His hands cover yours.

You’re so stunned by the sudden movement, the sudden warmth, that all you can do is stare at his hands.

“I’m glad you made that choice. I’m glad you’re the one alive right now, and not another zombie who wants to eat us. I was so fucking relieved that you had thought to protect yourself, that you had the strength to hold him like that.” His hands are trembling over yours. “These people love you, Sugar.”

You turn your head away. “You’re very kind, Yeosang.”

He grips your fists harder. “Can you stop, just for a second? Can you stop putting everyone else first for a second?” The anger is back in the edges of his tone, but you still can’t look at him.

Because you can’t. You can’t even comprehend the idea of putting aside someone else’s safety, or their comfort, for your own. You can’t live with it. It rots inside you, to see anyone else suffering when you can do something to help.

And it’s killing you, absolutely tearing you up inside to be living with the knowledge that, when it came down to it, you acted out of panic and chose someone else’s suffering over your own.

That man’s ravaged body lives in your mind every time you close your eyes.

No reason, no logic will ever justify that to you.

“I told you to keep Wooyoung from doing something stupid.” He says quietly, forcing a softness in his voice. “Because I was scared. I couldn’t tell you to be careful, when I knew you wouldn’t. I couldn’t tell you to make sure you come back with him, because all I could think about was that day we talked about.”

You finally look at him, frowning, confused.

“That day. The cherry blossoms and the cafe and the street food under the stars.” Yeosang swallows awkwardly, and it’s his turn to look away from you. “I was thinking about that day, and I thought that if you had the task of keeping Wooyoung alive, then you would get both of you back alive so that you could have that day.”

You’re fighting tears, heart pounding heavily as he reminds you of the perfect day that he had helped you dream of. But you can’t dream of that anymore. You can’t hope for that, you can’t even think about it anymore. How can you ever have a day like that after what you’ve done?

How can you look anyone in the face and tell them what you survived, and what you did to survive it? You’re shaking with tortured frustration. “What do you want me to say? That I want to live? That someday I can forget about the man that I killed? That I want to survive this, even though I don’t deserve it?”

His face falls. “Yes.”

You shake your head, yanking your hands away from his. You have to completely ignore the way his palms land on your knees and stay there. “I can’t have this conversation with you.”

“Yes you can.” He tries to catch your eye line again, but you’re looking anywhere but him.

“No, stop it Yeosang, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I do, I’m going want to let myself ignore what I’ve done. Because if I keep thinking about this, I’m going to keep realizing that I really don’t want to die here. Because you’re making me want to live, and I can’t.”

He pulls one hand away from you and wipes at a bead of sweat over his eye, and you freeze. He’s looking at you again, and suddenly you can see a red mark on the left side of his face, and all you can think is that he hurt himself and you hadn’t noticed.

Your hand lifts, your thumb brushing over his cheek, and his breath catches. “What happened?” You demand, worry clouding the distraught you had felt only seconds ago. “Did Jungkook hit you? Are you hurt?” His skin is hot under your touch, soft and smooth.

He’s staring at you with wide eyes. “No.” He grabs your wrist, but doesn’t pull your hand away. “No, he didn’t. It’s a birthmark.”

A blush flames in your cheeks. “Oh.” Here you are, daring to touch his face, and it’s just a birthmark. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, I just—” you go to tug your hand away, but his hold on your wrist stills you.

“It’s okay.” Yeosang whispers, his gaze still locked on yours.

You think you’re imagining the way he leans into your touch.

“You didn’t know?” He asks.

“No, I—”

The supply room door swings open, bathing the two of you in bright light. “Guys.” Yunho’s voice shatters the moment, shocking your heart into motion again. “There’s a body in here.”

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REPLAY — 05. Muse

— Seonghwa's pet cat had gone missing while he's out of town, unknowingly the fur baby has found its way to a sleep deprived art major student who goes into the same college.

Park Seonghwa x Gender Neutral! Reader SMAU Ft. P1Harmony & ATEEZ.

chapter cw : same old things, small misunderstanding but it's not serious lmao, nothing really serious about this whole series until later tbh (spoiler)

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SKZ x Reader

(Fake texts)

POV: The members reaction to you not answering because your phone died.

Hyung Line

Bangchan

Lee Know

Changbin

Hyunjin

Maknae Line out soon 💗

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SKZ x reader

POV: The members reaction to you not answering them because your phone died.

(Fake texts)

Maknae Line

Han Jisung

Felix

Seungmin

I.N

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[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

All we have

Genre: angst, slice of life, established relationship

Synopsis: You’re at a friend’s wedding with your longtime boyfriend, but as you sit alone and watch him smile from across the room, you start to wonder if the two of you are still in love — or just pretending to be.

Warnings: neglect & distancing in relationship, hints of break up

a/n: This is my first time writing a full piece — and it’s an angsty one, too. I hope you enjoy it! Reblogs and likes are appreciated! Have a nice day or night :) 🤎

The reception hall shimmered in soft golden light. People laughed. Danced. Cried happy tears. Toasts were made. Promises whispered. Love was everywhere- loud and present. 

She sat alone at their table, her dress stiff from sitting too long. Her wine glass was half-full, untouched. Her eyes were fixed on Minho across the room, laughing at something one of his friends said, his face lit up in a way she hadn’t seen in weeks.

He looked happy.

And it hurt.

Because when he came back to the table — twenty minutes later, cheeks flushed from the wine and the warmth of being around people he hadn't seen in a while — she was quiet.

"You okay?" he asked, sitting beside her and reaching for her hand under the table.

She pulled it away gently. Not cold — just... tired.

“Yeah,” she said.

But she wasn’t.

Not when she had sat alone through two slow songs. Not when she had watched couples cling to each other like safety nets while she felt herself floating further and further away from the one person who was supposed to be hers.

“Do you wanna dance?” he offered, sensing it now — that something wasn’t right.

She shook her head.

“Come on,” he tried, smiling faintly. “It’s our friend’s wedding, let’s not fight here.”

And maybe it was the way he said here, like the fight would be inevitable elsewhere. Like this silence between them was just waiting for a more convenient moment.

Or maybe it was just too much. All of it.

Because she turned to him, eyes glassy, voice low.

“What if this is all we have?”

Minho froze.

“What?” he breathed.

She didn’t blink. “This. The pretending. The being in the same room but not really with each other. The loving-but-never-feeling-it. What if this is all we’ve got left?”

Minho stared at her like he was seeing her clearly for the first time in weeks.

“Don’t say that,” he whispered. “That’s not true.”

“I sat here alone through three songs, Minho,” she said, and her voice trembled. “I kept thinking you'd come back, ask me to dance. And I realized I didn’t even expect you to anymore.”

His face crumbled.

“I’ve been holding onto what we used to be,” she went on, “but I’m starting to wonder if we’re just ghosts in each other’s lives now. Smiling in public, drifting in private.”

He reached for her hand again, this time more desperately. “No. No, baby, don’t—don’t do this here. Please.”

“Why not?” she said, with a small, broken laugh. “Everyone else is dancing with the people they love. I’m just sitting here wondering when we stopped being one of them.”

Minho was quiet. Too quiet. And then—

“I didn’t know you felt like this,” he said, eyes wet.

“Don’t you?...don’t you feel the same?”

And that’s when it hit him. How many quiet moments she reached for him and he missed it. How many smiles she gave him that he didn’t return. How many chances he’d had to show up — and didn’t.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, voice cracking. “I didn’t realize… I didn’t think we were this far gone.”

“We don’t have to be,” she whispered. “But I can’t be the only one trying to come back.”

Minho stood, eyes pleading. “Dance with me.”

She looked up at him, unsure.

“Please,” he said. “Let me hold you, just for one song. Let me remember how it feels.”

She hesitated.

And then, slowly, she took his hand.

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

looks like a cupcake... changbin ver.

it was supposed to stay cute but it got horny... no apologies.

m.list

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

SKZ x reader

POV: The members of Stray Kids react to you having dating rumors with another idol

(Fake texts)

Hyung Line

BangChan

Lee Know

Changbin

Hyunjin

Maknae Line out soon 💗

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Paws off my Human! - Seungmin

Meeting your dog was more difficult than Seungmin thought.

After weeks of talking about it, you were finally introducing Seungmin to your dog, Mochi. You had hyped this moment up so much in your head – imagining a sweet, heartwarming encounter where your two favorite beings in the world would instantly click. But there was one problem.

Dogs just… weren’t that into Seungmin.

It wasn’t like they disliked him, but they never seemed to gravitate towards him the way they did with most people. While his friends had dogs practically falling over themselves to get their attention, Seungmin would always get a passive glance before they trotted off somewhere else. It was an ongoing joke, and one Seungmin had accepted with an exaggerated sigh.

Still, you had hope. Mochi was your dog, and maybe that would make a difference.

“Okay, Mochi,” you said, crouching down to your fluffy companion. “This is Seungmin. Be nice.”

Seungmin knelt beside you, his usual confident expression softening into something almost shy. “Hey there, Mochi,” he said, stretching out a hand cautiously.

Mochi sniffed Seungmin’s fingers for a second, and for a brief, shining moment, you thought that maybe – just maybe – this would be the exception. That Mochi would sense how much Seungmin meant to you and would accept him right away.

Instead, Mochi simply blinked, turned his head, and promptly walked away.

You tried to suppress a laugh as Seungmin stared after him, blinking in disbelief. “Are you serious?” he muttered. “I didn’t even do anything!”

You patted his shoulder sympathetically. “He’s just playing hard to get.”

“I didn’t even want his attention that much,” Seungmin huffed, crossing his arms. “It’s not like I care or anything.”

You raised a brow. “Uh-huh. That’s why you’re pouting?”

“I am not pouting,” he grumbled, but the way he glanced at Mochi – who had now plopped down on his favorite blanket, facing the other way – told a different story.

Defeated, Seungmin sighed. “I don’t understand. I’m practically a dog myself.”

Feeling a bit bad for your boyfriend, you decided to step in. “Mochi loves treats,” you suggested. “Want to try giving him one?”

Seungmin exhaled, then nodded. “Alright, fine. I’ll win him over.”

You handed him a treat, and he carefully approached Mochi again. “Okay, listen, little guy,” he said, holding out the snack. “I know we got off to a rough start, but let’s be friends, yeah?”

Mochi eyed the treat, then Seungmin. After a long pause, he finally took it from his hand, chewing happily. Your heart warmed at the sight of Seungmin’s expression – like he had just won a hard-fought battle.

“See?” you grinned. “He just needed a little bribery.”

Seungmin scoffed. “I don’t bribe, I negotiate.”

You laughed, watching as Mochi, after finishing his treat, hesitantly nudged Seungmin’s knee before settling back down. It wasn’t instant love, but it was progress.

Seungmin smirked, clearly pleased. “Told you I’d win him over.”

You rolled your eyes fondly and leaned against his shoulder. “Sure, puppy boy.”

He groaned at the nickname, but you caught the small smile tugging at his lips. Maybe Mochi wasn’t the only one playing hard to get.

Feeling content, you turned your head slightly towards Seungmin, the warmth of the moment making you want to steal a quick kiss. Just as you moved in, Mochi suddenly barked – loud and sharp.

Startled, you pulled back, wide-eyed. Seungmin let out an amused scoff, glancing at the unimpressed fluffball.

“Wow,” he muttered, crossing his arms. “Not only do I have to win you over, but now I have to get permission to be affectionate with her?”

You patted his head, suppressing a giggle. “Maybe he sees you as a rival.”

Seungmin shook his head, shooting a wary look at Mochi. “Fine. But for the record, I’m not scared of you,” he told the dog.

Mochi responded by yawning dramatically before turning away again.

You smiled, squeezing Seungmin’s hand. “Looks like you’ve still got some work to do.”

Seungmin groaned. “I can’t believe I have to compete with a dog.”

---

Weeks later, after many failed attempts on Seungmin’s part to win Mochi over, you decided that a walk together might help with their bonding. The crisp spring air was refreshing as the three of you strolled through the park, but the sun weakly peeked through the flowering trees.

Mochi trotted happily by your side, tail wagging with every step, while Seungmin walked a little further from him, hands in his pockets, feigning indifference.

“You know,” you teased, glancing at your boyfriend, “you don’t have to act so cool about it. It’s okay to admit you want Mochi to like you.”

Seungmin scoffed, shaking his head. “I really don’t care that much.”

You hummed, clearly unconvinced. “Right.”

After a bit more walking, you decided to give Seungmin the leash. “Here, try holding it,” you offered, placing the leash in his hands.

Seungmin hesitated but took it, looking down at Mochi expectantly. “Alright, come on, let’s go.”

Mochi, however, didn’t budge.

Seungmin frowned and gave the leash a gentle tug. “Mochi?”

Mochi simply turned his head to the side, stubbornly planting his paws into the ground.

Seungmin groans. “What am I supposed to do? Drag him?”

You shake your head. “Try convincing him.”

Seungmin kneels down beside Mochi. “Okay, listen. I know we didn’t start off great, but I have treats, and I will literally carry you home if I have to. Your choice.”

You bit your lip to keep from laughing as Seungmin let out an exasperated sigh as Mochi still didn’t move. “Is your dog broken?”

“He just doesn’t respect you yet,” you said, grinning. “Give it a second.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “Or maybe he’s just bad-mannered.”

At that, you crouched slightly and clapped your hands. “Come on, Mochi, go with Seungmin.”

Mochi perked up at your voice, then, without warning, bolted forward – leash in Seungmin’s hand.

“Whoa—hey!” Seungmin yelped as he was yanked forward, stumbling slightly as he struggled to keep up with the determined fluffball. You burst into laughter, watching as your dog enthusiastically led a very reluctant Seungmin down the path.

You jogged to catch up, laughing breathlessly at the sight of your usually composed boyfriend being dragged along by a fluffy ball of energy. "I think he likes you now!"

Seungmin shot you a glare over his shoulder, though the corners of his lips twitched in amusement. "Yeah? Then why is he trying to kill me?"

---

You returned one afternoon to your appartment, running late. You knew your boyfriend would already be there so you expected to find him grumbling about Mochi’s latest act of indifference or Mochi keeping his usual distance. Instead, you were met with an entirely different sight.

Seungmin was fast asleep on your couch.

His long legs were stretched out, one arm resting behind his head, the other draped lazily over his stomach. His chest rose and fell steadily, his usually sharp features softened in slumber. The peaceful expression on his face made your heart flutter – he looked so unguarded like this, completely at ease in your space.

But what really caught your attention was Mochi.

Curled up at Seungmin’s feet, your fluffy companion had tucked himself against your boyfriend’s legs, his small body rising and falling in sync with Seungmin’s breath. The sight was almost comical – after all the times Mochi had rejected Seungmin’s affection, he had unknowingly sought comfort in him now.

You clapped a hand over your mouth to stifle a laugh. Of course, the one time Mochi willingly snuggled up to Seungmin, he had no idea it was happening.

Careful not to wake them, you tiptoed closer, pulling out your phone. There was no way you weren’t capturing this moment. With the softest tap of your finger, you snapped a picture – one that you were sure to tease Seungmin with later.

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Borrowed Warmth - Han Jisung

Han didn’t realize the hoodie he grabbed wasn’t his.

Han barely registered the soft rays of morning light streaming through the window when he stumbled out of bed, still half-asleep. After crashing at your place following a late movie night, he grabbed the first black hoodie draped over the back of your chair. Without a second thought, he tugged it over his head, the familiar scent of fabric softener mingling with something distinctly you.

As he was about to head out, you sleepily blinked up at him from the bed. "You look cute," you mumbled, a sleepy smile tugging at your lips, noticing his messy hair and the hoodie he had unknowingly borrowed. "C'mon, give me a kiss."

Han leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, a fond smile curling on his lips. "I'll be back later," he murmured, smoothing down his hair before making his way out of the room, his mind still half-dazed from the night before.

-----

An hour later, seated in the studio and nodding along to the beat Bang Chan was playing, he was jolted from his groove by Changbin's voice cutting through.

“Uh, Hannie,” Changbin began, his tone tight with suppressed laughter.

“What?” Han asked, eyebrows knitting together as he turned to look at his hyungs.

Chan grinned, jerking his chin toward Han’s back. “Nice hoodie, mate. Did you start shopping in the Girlfriend's Closet Collection?" 

Confused, Han craned his neck, twisting awkwardly to catch a glimpse of the hoodie’s design. And there it was – your unmistakable favorite graphic print, the one he’d teased you about for being too cute.

His face froze. “Wait,” he muttered, tugging at the hem of the hoodie to confirm. “No way. This is—”

“Yep,” Changbin interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “Looking real stylish, though. Bold fashion statement.”

Han groaned, sinking into his chair as a wave of embarrassment washed over him. “I didn’t even notice! I just thought it was mine!”

“Sure you did,” Chan teased, his grin widening. “Or maybe you just missed her so much you subconsciously needed to wear something of hers.”

The teasing drew a low groan from Han, who buried his face in his hands, his ears burning. “You guys are the worst.”

Ignoring their laughter, he quickly pulled out his phone and shot you a message:

Han: Did you know I grabbed your hoodie this morning?

Your reply was instant:

You: Yep.

Han’s brows furrowed.

Han: And you didn’t say anything?!

You: Why would I? You looked cute. Plus, I don’t mind you wearing my stuff.

Han stared at your text, the corners of his mouth twitching upward despite himself. Cheeks flushing, he typed back:

Han: Then I might keep it. 😜

He leaned back into the session, a small, secretive smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as the warmth of your hoodie – and your words – swirled around him.

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

A Promise - Lee Know

With his enlistment approaching, Lee Know contemplates building a deeper commitment with you.

It had been snowing all day, the gentle flakes turning the streets into a quiet, glistening world of white. The snow was the reason you stayed at home today, crushing your plans, instead leaving you cozy and content indoors.

Here, the muffled sound of the snowstorm was replaced by the occasional soft clink of your mugs on the coffee table and the low hum of a playlist you'd chosen. The familiar weight of a shared blanket draped over your legs added to the sense of calm, grounding you in the moment.

Lee Know leaned back against the couch, his arm resting casually around your shoulders, while his other hand laid under the edge of the blanket, his fingers absently tracing gentle, aimless patterns against the fabric. The two of you had spent hours talking, covering everything from small, inconsequential topics – how his new choreography was coming along, the places you wanted to visit one day – to deeper subjects that made the minutes blur into hours.

Now, a lull settled between you, the kind of silence that felt natural, comforting rather than awkward. He turned his head slightly, his gaze meeting yours. There was something unspoken in his eyes, a softness and an intensity all at once, like he was searching for the right words.

He inhaled deeply before saying, "You know things are going to change soon, right? With… everything coming up for me." You nodded, understanding immediately what he meant. His military enlistment had been a quiet but persistent shadow over the horizon, something neither of you spoke about too often but both felt deeply.

"I’ve been trying to picture it," he continued, his voice tinged with a vulnerability he didn’t show often. "Being away for that long, and coming back to… well, I want to come back to you. To us. And I was wondering if… getting married is something you’d want—" He paused, his lips quirking into a soft smile. "As a promise."

The way he said it, so tentative yet hopeful, made your heart ache. He wasn’t rushing, wasn’t asking for a definitive answer. It felt more like he was letting you in on a dream he’d been holding close, a quiet hope he wanted to share with you.

What you didn't know about were all the times he’d found himself looking at jewelry, rings especially, without meaning to. He’d ignored it at first, dismissing it as idle curiosity or just passing ideas, but now he couldn’t help but wonder if it had been more. The thought of choosing something for you, something that could say all the things he couldn’t quite put into words, tugged at the edges of his mind

You looked at him with wide eyes, your hand reaching instinctively for his under the blanket. "I’ve been thinking about it too," you admitted. "Not marriage, exactly, but… how I’d handle you being away. I try to think of it like you’re just on tour for a long time," you said softly, the words coming carefully as you worked through your own emotions. "It’s not forever. And knowing you’re coming back to me, that we could build something—together—would maybe make it less scary."

His lips curved into a faint smile at that, the kind that made his eyes crinkle just slightly at the corners. He glanced at you with an expression that was equal parts affection and relief.

"I’d like that," he murmured. "But I don’t want to rush you, or make this feel like it’s happening just because of the timing. This year’s going to be so busy, and you deserve... more. You deserve me doing this the right way, not something rushed before I leave."

The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten, and you laced your fingers through his, grounding yourself in the steady warmth of his hand. "You don’t have to do anything perfectly for me," you said, your voice steady despite the emotion welling up inside you. "Just... keep coming back. I’ll wait for you."

And as he sat there, his hand still in yours, a thought struck him – a quiet resolve he didn’t speak aloud. It wasn’t just about serving and fulfilling a duty; it was about the future waiting for him on the other side. Coming back to you, his fiancée by then – or maybe even his wife – was the image that kept him steady. It was the thought of building a life with you, one step at a time, that made the prospect of leaving more bearable.

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Early Bird - Lee Know

While you're still tangled in the sheets, Lee Know fills the kitchen with quite affection.

The soft morning light seeped through your curtains, gently pulling you from sleep. You stretched lazily, reaching out towards the other side of the bed, only to find it empty. A groggy frown tugged at your lips as your fingers brushed over cool sheets. He was gone.  

It took you a moment to fully wake up, but then the faint clatter of pans reached your ears. You sat up, blinking in confusion before realization dawned. Lee Know. Of course, your boyfriend was in the kitchen.  

Dragging yourself out of bed, you shuffled towards the source of the noise. The smell of something delicious hit you before you even reached the doorway. You paused there for a moment, leaning against the frame and watching.  

There he was, in your kitchen, wearing one of your aprons – tied a little too snugly around his waist – his hair still slightly damp from the shower. He moved with a natural ease, flipping something in a pan while humming quietly to himself.  

The sight made your heart ache in the best way.  

Unable to resist, you crossed the small space between you and wrapped your arms around his waist from behind, pressing your cheek against his back. He jumped slightly at the sudden contact, then relaxed, chuckling softly.  

“Morning,” he said, his voice low and teasing. “Finally decided to join the land of the living, huh?”  

You hummed sleepily, holding him a little tighter while rubbing your head against his back. “Didn’t want to wake up without you.”  

He glanced back at you, raising a brow. “So dramatic this early in the morning?”  

“Can’t help it,” you mumbled, peeking over his shoulder at the pan. “What are you making? Let me help—”  

“Absolutely not”, he interrupted, gently prying your arms away and turning to face you. His smirk was infuriatingly charming.  

“What? Why not?” you protested, frowning at him.  

“Because,” he said, crossing his arms, “the last time you tried to ‘help’, you burned yourself and almost set the whole kitchen on fire. I’m not letting you near that stove again.”  

“That was one time!”  

“One time too many,” he shot back, turning you around and guiding you towards the couch with an easy push. “Go sit.”  

You pouted as you flopped down onto the couch, but he ignored you, returning to the stove with a satisfied grin.

From your spot, you could see him moving gracefully around your kitchen, his every movement precise and confident. The morning light filtered through the curtains, casting a soft glow on his face as he hummed quietly in the kitchen, a peaceful smile tugging at his lips. He didn’t belong here, but somehow, it felt like he did.  

He glanced over his shoulder, catching you watching him. “Don’t give me that look,” he said, his tone dripping with amusement.  

“What look?”  

“The one that says you’re expecting me to feed you like one of my cats,” he teased, shaking his head.  

You laughed. “Well, am I wrong?”  

“Maybe not,” he admitted, flipping whatever was in the pan with a practiced flick of his wrist. “Whenever I start making food, they come running, wide-eyed and acting all innocent, like ‘Oh, what are you cooking there for me?’" he said mimicking their wide-eyed expressions with exaggerated innocence. "Sounds familiar?” 

“Hey!” you protested, but the warmth in his voice made it impossible to be mad.  

Finally, he brought over a plate and set it in front of you, sitting beside you. His smirk softened into something more tender as he nudged your knee. “Seriously, though,” he said, “just let me take care of you, okay? You’re cute when you’re sleepy and useless.”  

You rolled your eyes, but your heart swelled as you took a bite of the food he’d made. It was delicious, but nothing could compare to the man sitting beside you, his teasing smile melting into an affectionate gaze. 

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Aishitemasu - Lee Know

Lee Know's motivation for studying Japanese might not just be due to the fans.

The practice room buzzed with quiet activity as Lee Know sat on the couch, headphones in, flipping through a Japanese textbook. His brow furrowed in concentration as he repeated phrases under his breath, occasionally pausing to jot down notes.

Han, who was lounging nearby, tilted his head. “Hyung, you're studying Japanese again? What’s the deal? You’ve been glued to that book all week.”

Seungmin walked in, munching on a snack, and smirked. “Yeah, you’re getting awfully serious about this. Something tells me this isn’t just about work.”

Lee Know glanced up, setting his pen down. “Knowing Japanese is useful for communicating with fans and interviews.”

“But it’s not just about work, is it?” Hyunjin teased, leaning against the couch. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed how your girlfriend is Japanese. Coincidence? I think not – Especially since she can speak Korean perfectly well.”

Lee Know chuckled softly, his expression calm. “Well, you’re not wrong. It’s for her too. She’s always been really patient teaching me, and I think it’s nice to be able to talk with her in her language.”

“Aw, that’s actually sweet,” Felix said, joining the conversation. “But let’s be real – she probably loves seeing you struggle with pronunciation, doesn’t she?”

Lee Know laughed lightly, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, she finds it funny sometimes. But she also says it’s cute, so I don’t mind.”

Changbin crossed his arms, grinning. “Man, you’re really putting in extra credit for this relationship. You’re like a top student trying to impress the teacher.”

“Hey,” Lee Know replied with an easy smile, “If she feels special and I get to learn something useful, I’d say it’s a win-win.”

Seungmin shook his head, feigning exasperation. “I can’t believe this. He’s so chill about being the perfect boyfriend. It’s unfair.”

Hyunjin sighed dramatically. “You’re just whipped.”

“Call it what you want,” Lee Know said with a shrug, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “At least I’m learning something new. What are you guys doing? Playing video games?”

The room filled with laughter, the teasing now good-natured.

“Okay, okay,” Han said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “We’ll admit it – this is actually pretty impressive. But don’t think we’ll stop teasing you about it.”

Lee Know grinned, picking up his pen. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”

A few days later

The dorm buzzed with excitement when Lee Know’s girlfriend arrived for a visit. She greeted everyone with a polite bow and a shy smile, but before she could even finish saying hello, the teasing began.

“Ah, here she is!” Han exclaimed dramatically. “The muse behind all of Lee Know’s hard work. You should hear his Japanese now – it’s like he’s been possessed by a language genius.”

Seungmin snickered. “He’s been practicing nonstop. If he doesn’t impress you today, I’ll be shocked.”

Hyunjin leaned against the wall, smirking. “By the way, if you ever need a break from his cooking, I’m a pretty good chef too. Just saying.”

“Sure, if she likes burnt toast.” Lee Know rolled his eyes, stepping between her and the noisy members. “Okay, that’s enough. We’re leaving.”

“Already?” Changbin called out, clearly enjoying himself. “But we were just about to ask how you feel about being the reason he’s fluent in Japanese now!”

You laughed softly, covering your mouth, while Lee Know grabbed your hand and gently ushered you towards the door. “Ignore them,” he said under his breath, though his ears were a little red.

As you reached the door, Felix shouted, “Have fun on your date! Don’t forget to quiz him!”

Lee Know paused, turning back with a small smirk. “I’ll quiz you guys when I get back. Don’t wait up.”

With that, he closed the door behind the both of you, leaving the members laughing and hollering in the dorm while you finally escaped for your date.

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Someday - Bang Chan

Under the Australian sunset, Bang Chan stands in front of his first and current love, one he wants forever.

The sea stretched endlessly before you, waves rolling in a steady rhythm as the salty breeze carried the crisp scent of the ocean. The sky was painted in various hues of orange and pink, a breathtaking view that you desperately wanted to capture.

You adjusted your camera, took a shot, frowned, and adjusted again. The light shifted too quickly. The waves weren’t hitting the shore quite right. You wanted the shot, the one that truly captured how breathtaking this moment was.

Chris stood a few meters away, watching you with a soft smile. He had initially thought you would take a quick snap and be done with it, but here you were, still completely immersed in your craft, completely unaware of the way you fit so effortlessly into the scenery.

He didn’t mind waiting.

If anything, watching you like this – lost in your own world, bathed in the soft glow of the sunset – was enough to make his heart ache in the best way possible.

His eyes traced over your silhouette, the way the golden light kissed your skin, how your hair caught the evening breeze. He had always loved the sea; it was his first love, his childhood. But seeing you here, blending so naturally into a place that meant everything to him, made something settle deep inside him.

A conversation from earlier replayed in his mind.

"She’s good for you, Christopher," his mother had said, her voice warm yet certain. "You bring each other home in ways I don’t think you even realize yet."

He had chuckled then, brushing off the way her words settled deep in his chest, but she hadn’t stopped there.

"Some moments in life… they just tell you when something is right. When it’s time." She had smiled knowingly, eyes twinkling with something unspoken.

At the time, he hadn’t thought much of it. But now, standing here, watching you passionately take a picture of something that had been part of his soul since childhood, he understood.

Because right now, his heart was telling him something loud and clear – when the time came, when he asked you to be with him forever, he wanted it to be a moment like this, right here. Just the two of you, the sea, the sunset, and a love so certain it didn’t need grand gestures to prove itself.

He exhaled softly, shaking his head at the way his heart started to beat a little faster.

You turned then, catching him staring, and grinned. “What’s with you?” you teased, tilting your head.

Chris let out a chuckle, stepping closer. “Can’t I admire my beautiful girlfriend?”

But before you could answer, a mischievous glint sparked in your eyes. You raised your camera again, aiming it straight at his face. “Hold still,” you said playfully, zooming in dramatically and taking a few shots.

He groaned, but he couldn't surpress the grin on his lips. “Oh no, not the close-ups,” he muttered before lunging forward, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle hug to stop you.

You laughed, your camera lowering as you melted into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him. The warmth of his body, the steady beat of his heart. He held you close, his chin resting lightly on the top of your head as he pressed a soft kiss against your hair.

After a beat of silence, you murmured, "Okay, but seriously… what’s up?"

Chris smiled, tightening his hold on you for just a second. "Nothing," he mumbled, though his heart screamed otherwise.

Because if he opened his mouth now, he might just end up telling you exactly what he was thinking – that he loved you more than words, that you fit so seamlessly into his world, and that one day, he was going to ask you to stay in it forever, right here.

Well he could do that now, technically. He definitely wanted to... But not today.

Someday he will, definetly.

Before the moment could get too sentimental, a mischievous grin tugged at his lips. Without warning, he bent down and effortlessly threw you over his shoulder.

"Chris!" you squealed, laughing as you lightly smacked his back. "What are you doing?! I wasn't done!"

He chuckled, spinning you around slightly before carrying you farther away from shoreline. "You were taking too long. My parents were gonna file a missing report if I didn’t do something!"

"Put me down, you’re ridiculous!" You laughed, kicking your feet playfully as he held you securely.

He grinned, his heart full as he listened to your laughter mix with the sound of the waves. Yeah. Someday, he was going to make you his forever.

masterlist

[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

A Lap to Nap - Bang Chan

Bang Chan finds peace in your lap, but duty calls him back to the studio.

Chris pushed open the door to your apartment, his eyes heavy but brightened by the sight of you waiting on the couch.

"Hey," he said softly, dropping his bag by the door. He crossed the room in a few steps, leaning down to press a tender kiss to your lips. "Missed you."

You smiled, reaching out to brush his curls away from his forehead. “Missed you too,” you said, patting the cushion beside you. He sank down heavily, the weight of hours spent in the studio evident in his sluggish movements.

"You okay?" you asked, letting your fingers wander into his unstyled hair.

"Just tired," he murmured, eyes fluttering shut as his head found its way onto your lap. He exhaled deeply, his body melting into the couch. You continued stroking his hair, marveling at how peaceful he looked. The usual intensity and focus you associated with him were gone, replaced by serene exhaustion.

Minutes passed in comfortable silence, broken only by the hum of the TV. You glanced across the room when the soft buzz of a phone vibrating caught your attention – it was your boyfriend's phone, still in his bag at the door. For a moment, you considered getting up, but his head on your lap anchored you in place.

Your own phone buzzed on the coffee table instead, and you reached for it carefully.

Changbin: "Yo, is Chan with you? Can't reach him. Need to talk about re-recording something."

You smiled at the irony, glancing down at Chris. He was fast asleep, his lips slightly parted, utterly unaware of both phones vying for his attention. Gently, you took a quick photo – his head tucked against your thigh and your hand in his hair as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

You: "Does this answer your question?" You attached the photo and sent it.

Changbin’s reply came almost immediately.

Changbin: "😂 Sorry for disturbing. Tell him to call me when he wakes up. Hate to take him away, but we need him back for a bit. 😅"

You sighed softly and put your phone back down. Your gaze returned to Chris. You hated the thought of waking him, but you knew how important his work was. With soft fingers, you traced his cheek.

“Channie,” you called softly. “Baby, wake up.”

He stirred, his brows furrowing slightly before his eyes blinked open, glazed with sleep. He looked up at you with a faint, sleepy smile. “Didn’t… didn’t think I’d be out like that,” he mumbled, his voice warm and husky.

You chuckled, still massaging his head softly. “Changbin texted,” you said gently. “He says you need to go back to re-record something.”

Chris groaned softly, his eyes closing again for a moment, enjoying the tender sensation of your fingers against his scalp for a few moments longer. “Of course he did,” he murmured, his voice muffled against your leg.

You laughed, brushing his hair back. “He felt bad for disturbing. You were completely knocked out.”

“Was I?” he asked with a shy smile, looking up at you. “I’m sorry. I just… couldn’t help it. You’re too comfortable.”

Smiling, you leaned down to meet him, your lips brushing his in a soft, lingering kiss. When you pulled back, you whispered, “Go finish your work. You’ll have me – and my lap – all to yourself after.”

Chris grinned, sitting up reluctantly. “You better keep that promise,” he teased, stealing another quick kiss before standing and grabbing his phone.

-----

Later that night, as time in the studio slipped by, Changbin nudged Chris with a playful grin. “Hey, hope your girlfriend isn’t mad at me,” he teased. “I mean, I did kind of steal you away. I don’t want to end up on her bad side.”

Chris chuckled, shaking his head. “She’s not mad, Binnie. Trust me, Y/N’s way too chill for that.”

Han, who had been quietly listening, raised his head. "Whaaat? You called him when he was with Y/N?" he teased, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Really? What a move, man."

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault,” Changbin chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Still, you owe her a date night after this.”

Chris smiled softly. “Oh, don’t worry—I’ve got plans.”

-----

The next day you received a message from Chris. It was a screenshot of the Stray Kids group chat. Your eyes widened as you saw the very picture you’d sent Changbin the day before – Chris peacefully sleeping on your lap, his curls messy and his expression serene.  

Changbin: "Guys, look what I got yesterday 😂"  

Your cheeks instantly heated up. You looked through the messages that followed, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement.  

Han: "OMG, this is ADORABLE."  

Felix: "Can we all agree this is peak boyfriend goals? 🥺"  

Hyunjin: "That’s so cute... 🤢❤️”

Seungmin: "The old man needing his afternoon naps – I’m saving this for future blackmail."  

Jeongin: "Honestly, same. Imagine the chaos this will cause when we tease him about it."  

At the bottom of the conversation Chris’s reply stood: 

Chris: "Blackmail? Nah, y’all are just jealous. I’m living the dream." 

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[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Laptop Delivery - Bang Chan

Practice got a little more eventful thanks to an forgotten laptop.

It was a peaceful morning. Fresh from your shower, you padded into your kitchen, planning to grab a quick breakfast before heading to uni. But something on the counter stopped you in your tracks – Chris' laptop.  

Your heart sank. He’d stayed over last night but had to leave early for dance practice. The sight of his laptop sitting on the counter screamed trouble. Normally, he wouldn’t bring it over – it was too precious, filled with tracks, demos, and other vital material for the group. You knew his schedule was packed, and forgetting something this important could only mean bad news.

You snapped a picture of it and sent it to him with the caption:

"Forgot something?"

Still, you couldn’t shake the thought that it might be much more important. Without hesitation, you called him, even though you knew he was at practice.  

After a few rings, he picked up, slightly breathless. "Hey, baby. I’m… kinda at practice right now – what’s up?"  

"Did you leave your laptop here on purpose?" you asked, though you already knew the answer.  

"What?" His voice was sharp with confusion. "No, I thought I— wait, let me check the picture you send me."  

A muffled curse followed as realization hit. "Oh shit, no. I’ve got a meeting with some producers right after practice. I can’t believe I left it there." His tone was laced with stress.  

Chris hesitated. "I—" he started, then stopped himself. You could almost hear the gears turning in his head. He was probably considering rushing back to your place after practice, which would make him late for the meeting. Worse, you wouldn’t even be there to open the door since you'd already be at uni by then.

"I… could… bring it to you," you offered cautiously, knowing what value the device had to the group.  

"Really? Would that be possible?" His voice softened, a mixture of relief and guilt.  

"Yeah, but I’d have to leave now. I still have uni today," you said, already moving to grab your things.  

"Ah, that's amazing. You're an angel," he said warmly. "I’ll text you the room number."  

Skipping breakfast, you grabbed his laptop and headed out. On the way, you planned to stop by a bakery for something quick after the delivery, before heading straight to class.  

-----

At the JYP building, you knocked lightly on the practice room door, despite Chris’ text saying you could walk right in. The door opened to reveal Felix, his face lighting up with a grin.  

"Hey!" he greeted, pulling you into a quick hug.  

"Hi, Lix," you replied with a small smile. From across the room, Chris’ head shot up, his eyes locking on you. Relief and affection softened his expression as he quickly made his way towards you.  

"Hey," he murmured, stopping just in front of you.  

"Hi," you replied, reaching into your bag to pull out his laptop. As soon as the sleek silver device emerged, the room fell silent.  

The members froze, eyes wide. It wasn’t just a laptop to them; they knew what was inside – tracks, demos, lyrics, everything. The fact that you were holding it was proof of something bigger: the trust Chris had in you.

But before anyone could speak, Chris gently pulled you into the room, his fingers brushing your cheeks as he softly pulled your mask down.  

And then, he kissed you.  

It was natural, familia – something the two of you had done countless times before. But here, in the quiet practice room, with – unbeknownst to you – all eyes on you, it felt different. His lips were warm and soft, a silent expression of gratitude and love.  

The members didn’t move, still processing what they were seeing. None of them had expected this. Sure, they knew how much Chris cared about you, but seeing it displayed so openly caught them off guard.  

When he finally pulled back, his ears burned red, and he muttered a sheepish "I’ll call you later, okay? Thanks again", as he took the laptop from your hands.  

You, cheeks blazing, barely managed a nod as you stepped back. The silence lingered for a beat longer before you mumbled, "Y-yeah. Bye, everyone."

You turned and left, closing the door behind you.  

The moment the door clicked shut, chaos erupted.  

"YAH, HYUNG!"  

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"PDA MUCH?!”

"Channie hyung, what was that?!"

"Wow, so smooth. Too bad your ears give you away."  

Outside, you heard the screaming teasing very clearly and couldn’t help but smile, your cheeks still burning as you walked down the hallway. Chris could handle the teasing – he brought it upon himself after all.  

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[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

Ruined for anyone else - Bang Chan

"If we ever broke up, I think you ruined me for anyone else."

Chris sat cross-legged on the couch, scrolling through his phone while you cuddled into his side, head resting on his shoulder. The soft glow of the TV bathed the room in muted light, but neither of you paid it much attention. It was one of those quiet nights where words flowed easily, the kind of comfort that came from being completely at ease with each other.  

You tilted your head to look up at him, a soft smile playing on your lips as a thought came to mind. Without much preamble, you murmured, “You know, if we ever broke up… I think you ruined me for anyone else.”  

Chris froze mid-scroll, his fingers hovering over the screen. Slowly, he turned to look at you, his brows furrowing, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What?” he asked, his voice quiet, almost hesitant.  

“I mean,” you said softly, “you’ve set the bar so high. You’re so attentive, so thoughtful… I don’t think I could ever find someone else who loves me like you do. You’ve shown me what it’s supposed to feel like.”  

His phone slipped from his hands as he let out a quiet, almost shaky laugh, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I don’t know… You know, I don’t always feel like I’m enough,” he admitted, his voice low.

Your heart clenched, and you sat up a little to take his hand, lacing your fingers with his. “Chris, stop,” you said firmly. “You’re more than enough. You’ve raised my standards so high I couldn’t even imagine anyone else. That’s why I said it – you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  

He lifted his eyes to meet yours, wide and searching, and for a moment, he looked like he didn’t quite believe you. Then he gave a small, disbelieving laugh, a soft smile tugging at his lips. 

“Ruined you, huh?” he finally said, his tone teasing, but the slight break in his voice betrayed how deeply your words affected him. He reached out, cupping your face gently, his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. “You think I’d ever let that happen? There’s no ‘breaking up,’ alright? You’re stuck with me.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his response, but he wasn’t done. His voice softened, taking on a vulnerable edge as he added, “But… hearing you say that? It means everything to me. I just – I try so hard to be good for you, you know? To make sure you know how much I love you. So… thank you. For saying that.”

You reached up, placing your hand over his. “You don’t have to try. You just… are.”

He stared at you for a long moment, then leaned in and kissed you, slow and lingering, as if to say all the things words couldn’t. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“For the record,” he whispered, “you’ve ruined me too. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

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[latisthegenderfluidwannabealone]

One-Time Special Edition - Bang Chan

Bang Chan’s S/O not being cuddly changed one morning.

The morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, casting soft beams across the bedroom. Chris stirred awake, his senses slowly coming to life. Something soft and warm was pressed against him – a weight on his chest, an arm draped over his waist.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he glanced down to see you curled up against him, your face buried in the crook of his neck. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. You were usually the one to squirm away when he tried to trap you in a bear hug, claiming it was "too much heat." But here you were, clinging to him like you’d never let go.

Careful not to disturb you too much, Chris brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch feather-light.

You stirred slightly, groaning softly as you nuzzled deeper into his chest before blinking yourself awake. Your mind slowly registered the situation - how tightly wrapped around him you were – and your eyes flicked up to meet his amused gaze.

“Morning, cuddlebug,” he said, his voice still warm and raspy from sleep.

You blinked, then groaned, burying your face into his chest for a moment. “You’re not going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Probably not,” he admitted with a teasing grin. “I mean, you’re always saying you’re not the cuddly type, but look at you now. I think this is my favorite version of you.”

You huffed, finally pulling back just enough to prop yourself up on one elbow. “Enjoy it while it lasts, Chris. This is a one-time special edition. Sleepy cuddles are not becoming a regular feature.”

His grin widened, his dimples making an appearance as he looked up at you. “One-time special edition? Nah, I don’t believe that. You looked way too comfy.”

You narrowed your eyes, leaning closer to poke his chest. “You start getting cocky about this, and I’ll sleep on the couch next time.”

He chuckled, grabbing your hand to intertwine your fingers with his. “You won’t. You love me too much to do that.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to fight back a smile. “Keep this up and we’ll see.”

Chris leaned up, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. “Fine, fine. I’ll enjoy my ‘one-time special edition’ while I can. But just so you know, you’re always welcome to cling to me in your sleep. I don’t mind.”

You sighed dramatically but settled back into his arms, your voice softer now. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Too late,” he whispered, wrapping you closer as his smile turned tender.

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