latenightchicken

[latenightchicken]

they call me the bug whisperer. because i whisper to bugs

[latenightchicken]

What if Auto and Glados programmed a kid? (Had a kid together) I think that would be the scariest antagonist. Or maybe it would just be Ultron?

[latenightchicken]

One of these days I’m gonna stop saying stupid shit.

[latenightchicken]

I enjoyed Lore Olympus, and here are some screenshots that I think are meme worthy:

They make me laugh.

[latenightchicken]

METAMORPHOSIS

[latenightchicken]

The Un-Serious Adventures of High Wizard Pompom

Pt 1

              A pair of shambling, undead, guards dragged a beaten mercenary up to the obsidian throne of The Master of Darkness, Lord Kyle. They dumped the bleeding, cussing mass at the foot of the throne and promptly exploded into twin clouds of dust. Lord Kyle rose from his throne and approached the insignificant pest.

              “We had a deal,” He circled them clicking his tongue, “and now you’re trying to back out.”

              The mercenary, a stubborn human, clutched a parcel to their chest. A feeble attempt to shield it from him.

              Lord Kyle rolled his eyes and simply stabbed the Mercenary. He didn’t bother to note how their breath gurgled as he pulled the parcel out of their grasp. And, in his anticipation to open the parcel he didn’t notice little fluffy paws sneaking across his throne room. Lord Kyle rushed the parcel to a table, gingerly unwrapped it, and beheld the ancient tome.

              “An Idiot’s Guide to Conquering the Universe” extended edition. He, of course, started with the introduction, which fully detailed the authors thoughts on the value of such material. He had gotten to the point where the author was divulging the range of their research when he heard a quiet rumbling sound.

              Lord Kyle turned away from the incredibly interesting introduction and saw the Mercenary. They were sitting up, completely unstabbed, and their other injuries were disappearing before Lord Kyle’s eyes. The Mercenary was petting a Cat in a sparky party hat, who was purring.

              “You’re supposed to be dead!” Lord Kyle pointed at the Mercenary.

              “Thank you for your aid High Wizard.” The Mercenary gently lifted High Wizard Pompom off their lap, grabbed their axe and stood to face Lord Kyle.

              Lord Kyle immediately flew into action. Summoning undead soldiers and unsheathing his sword. He attacked the Mercenary with all his fury, slashing wildly until the battle was interrupted by:

              “Mrow!”

              The Mercenary started laughing, and Lord Kyle looked to see what they could possibly find so funny.

              High Wizard Pompom was on the table and scratching their way through the entirety of Lord Kyle’s tome. Pompom made direct eye contact with Lord Kyle, renewed the vigor of her scratching, and even ate a few handfuls of paper.

              Kyle wailed and rushed over to try to stop the cat. High Wizard Pompom easily leapt over Kyle and landed on the Mercenary’s shoulder with grace. Kyle desperately sifted through the pile of confetti, crying as he prayed for a single intact page. His prayers went unanswered, and his nose began to drip.

              The Mercenary began walking out of the castle, still chuckling.

              “Yer plan worked High Wizard Pompom. Thank you.”

              Pompom, still perched on the Mercenary’s shoulder, let out a very dignified meow and began cleaning her paw.

[latenightchicken]

The Un-Serious Adventures of High Wizard Pompom

              Sir Simon, the knight, glared across the campfire at his companion. Pompom, The High Wizard, paid him no mind and continued to clean herself.

              “We’re supposed to be working together.”

              Pompom gave him an unimpressed look for a moment before she started licking her paws again.

              “You should warn me before you cast spells!” He waved at the bruises forming on his face and arms.

              “Mrow.”

              “I am not whining like a baby!” Simon stood suddenly.

              A log on the fire snapped, sending sparks everywhere.

              “Mrow,” High Wizard Pompom stopped grooming, stood on her hind legs, placed her paws on a rock in front of her, and looked Simon in the eyes, “Ke!”

              “You,” Simon jabbed a finger down at the High Wizard, “have no courtesy. The king should never have approved you for this quest.”

              Pompom lifted her paws. One reached up for the knight’s pointed finger and the other blindly tapped for the crystal ball around her neck.

              Simon’s gaze slowly, intently, turned to his sword across the campsite. Pompom raised both her paws toward the sky.

              “Don’t you dare…” Simon took one step back.

              High Wizard Pompom flexed her paws, magic filling her toe beans before radiating outward. Sir Simon started to run. A cloud formed above Simon and began pelting him with hard, dry, beans.

              Angry and pained yelling disappeared into the distance.

              With the smelly knight chased off Pompom finished cleaning herself and loafed by the fire. She didn’t need the help of some stuck-up knight to complete a silly little quest.

Pt 2

[latenightchicken]

[latenightchicken]

Me walking up to a fae mushroom circle and knocking on the ground next to it: “Hellooo? Anyone home?”

Fae: “Hello, may I have the name of my caller?”

Me: “I’m actually pretty happy with my name. I was hoping you’d be willing to take my tits instead.”

Baffled Fae: “…what?”

Me: “My boobs, do you want them?”

[latenightchicken]

How fucking annoying is it when you feel so restless with creative energy but you can’t decide what to do with it and when you finally try to create something it comes out shit so you just give up and sit there being all creatively annoyed and jittery.

[latenightchicken]

This is actually going a lot better than my usual job application stress over nothing.

What if I just get drunk and apply to some jobs?

[latenightchicken]

What if I just get drunk and apply to some jobs?

[latenightchicken]

How’s my day going?

Welp there’s a Yellowjacket in a cup in my freezer now.

I’m shaking so much…

[latenightchicken]

What if every time a corporation broke a promise/contract pertaining to emissions/fair pay/workplace harassment we fired, fined, and replaced the CEO (and maybe other members of upper management)?

I bet corporations would break promises a lot less.

[latenightchicken]

Mom the day before she plans to visit me: “Whats your evening plan?”

Me cleaning my whole apartment so it looks like I don’t live here: “Watching a movie.”

[latenightchicken]

Classmates messing with my doodles

This has happened to me twice (with 2 different people), but honestly each time I have considered it very rude.

I doodle to help myself think/pay attention/sit still. I like making quick cartooney little drawings in my notes. Twice now a peer who calls themselves an artist will somehow get a hold of my doodles/notebook and draw their 'better version' of whatever I drew next to mine, without asking.

The second time this happened, the person (who is 30+ btw, we are in grad school, I feel like they should know better!) literally pulled my doodle page out from under my elbow and drew on it without my permission. We were in the middle of a lecture so I didn't say anything.

To me it is exceedingly rude. Not only are these people drawing on someone else's personal property without permission. By redrawing the same subject directly next to the original doodle it seems less like saying "lets draw together!" and more like saying "look, I'm better than you." (this opinion is absolutely influenced by the fact that these people will tell you they are an artist at every opportunity)

And yes- I don't have the spine to say this in person. But you wouldn't go into someone's house and redecorate without permission. I don't think people should redraw someone else's drawing on the same page without permission. You want to redraw what I drew? Do it on your own paper, or ask if you can draw on my paper.

[latenightchicken]

Did you know?

You can eat too many clementines. In some cases it causes a buildup of gas and the acidity of too many clementines upsets the ecosystem of your gut.

It really hurts!