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“Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go.”
— Nikita Gill
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Hurt people hurt
Sometimes, we endure years of conflict and drama, that we just don’t seem to get away from. Conflict and drama becomes normalized.
Until you realise that bringing drama, conflict, pain and hurt to anyone is a choice that reflect narcistic,toxic and manipulative behavior. This epiphany makes you feel angry. Don’t make the mistake to go on the revenge trail. Instead recognise that the universe is giving you this opportunity to heal.
Issues tends to bubble up to the surface in order for you to get that chance, that opportunity to deal with it and end it. To release it.
So in order to let it go you need to deal with the situation in the right manner. That is very important. Our natural response is to be accusatory. To take out our anger and our frustration and our hurt, but that is not the right way. That is not going to give you that conclusion, that healing, that transformation. It’s going to leave you stuck in bitterness. So, take time to focus on it in depth. Reflect on the shadow moments because it is there for you to deal with the negativity that you’ve been holding onto, maybe unknowingly. Remember to be nurturing when you deal with this challenge. Deal with it in a kind and understanding way so that you can bring an end to the painful situation.
When you hold on to the pain that someone caused you, you’re just feeding your grudge, your hate, your grievance. So refusing to forgive whoever has caused you pain, hurts you more than anything else, because you keeping it trapped inside you. Releasing any judgment will allow you to move forward. You have the inner strength. Tap into it. Tap into it so you can forgive and you can look at the situation and the person with compassion. Deal with it in a gentle, kind way. You can resolve these issues by dealing with it in the right way. Move through this by adopting a positive approach.When you hold on to a grudge you feel sick to your stomach which is indicative that that is not the right way to deal with it.
Do not make the mistake to pretend that there is NO problem, because again there will be no solution, no resolution if you ignore and pretend that there is no problem. Rather acknowledge that yes, that person is toxic. Don’t approach the situation with judgment ever. Recognize and understand that ‘hurt people hurt.’ Instead come from your heart. Be loving, be compassionate. Understand that toxicity comes from hurt, somewhere, someway, somehow, they got broken by life. So don’t add more pain to them, rather embrace them with love. That does not mean that you must allow yourself to be treated in a bad manner. No. Build healthy boundaries. Deal with that relationship with courage, love and compassion.
So maintain your faith and hope that good things will come your way again, despite your history. Shadow work is hard but necessary for transformative healing in order to move forward, restored and whole again.
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“Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes you courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.”
— Mary Tyler Moore
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