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Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*
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me: I'M GONNA DO A THING
me, later that same day: i did not do the thing
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Just saw a post saying a castle was "infested with vampires" and as a biologist am disgusted. That's their natural habitat. They live there
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this is my cursed jug i have that bleeds when you pour water in it.
we’ve done this ten, twenty times now to no apparent change?
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Remember, you can disappear into the woods whenever you want. You’re an adult.
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everytime I stay at a hotel I take a bite out of the soap bar to confuse the cleaning staff
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me, lonely as shit: i'm lonely as shit
anyone: hey do you want to hang out m-
me, exhausted suddenly: no
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