lamodeparkurthummel

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I will be.

Are you okay, though?

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She's our daughter. Of course I want to. 

But don’t you still want this?

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I just thought it would be different once she was here.

Babe, you aren’t doing anything wrong, I’m just really busy lately… I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much. I want to be.

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"Hey, I'm better. Just still pucky. How's our little sunshine?" he smiled at Ellen tiredly before kissing her forehead. Kurt reached for her with an unsure expression on his face. He didn't want Blaine to think he couldn't take care of their daughter even though he felt sick and weak. Maybe it was safer not to carry their daughter. Ellen wanted to go into his arms though.

Another nurse entered the room and excused the first one. She reached for the IV bag from the cart that was already in the room and then grabbed the needle and a full set. Kurt swallowed heavily. "This is not going into my arm." he murmured.

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

Blaine sat on the edge of one of the beds with his daughter still in his arms. He thanked the nurse once more, assuring her that they would be fine with the two beds if she couldn’t get the crib for Ellen. As much as Blaine would hate facing his lack of sleep onstage the next night, it was Kurt and Ellen, they were the most important things in his life and he needed to be there to protect them both. 

"Hopefully… If he can’t leave here tomorrow it’s going to get a lot more complicated," he sighed softly, bouncing Ellen in his arms for a few moments before he spotted his fiancee finally arriving. "Hey… How do you feel?" he asked, his voice soft and caring. "Kurt, if you need anything, ever, I’m right here…"

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I'm not upset, I'm scared I'm doing something wrong. And I'm holding her all the time, I do nothing but holding her and missing you.

Kurt, you’re incredible… You can’t really be upset that I have a busier job right now. And she loves you, she probably just wants you to hold her.

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I feel like I can't do as good job as you're doing every day and I feel like she's upset with me, she's crying more than when you're here.

What do you mean lost? I thought things were going really well here…

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I feel like I'm not doing any good here. I feel so lost.

What’s wrong, Kurt? Are you okay?

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Some days are a little harder to stay alone with Ellen.

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The nurse smiled at him as they entered a room with two beds. She put the bag under the spare one. "I don't know if we can find a crib for your daughter. Paeds had a pretty long day and they may all be used right now. I'll bring you extra pillows and a duvet if you need them." 

Ellen yawned but looked up at Blaine. She was fighting off sleep. Everything around was new and she wanted to keep looking but it was so late compared to her usual bed time. The nurse smiled at them and sighed softly. "I can't promise anything. He'll probably be free to go by noon tomorrow if everything goes as planned. And it hopefully will." 

Kurt entered the room just then, already changed into the hospital gown. He smiled at Blaine and Ellen. "Hey, you two."

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

"Oh, yeah… Thank you," Blaine smiled in appreciation, letting the nurse take the bag for him. He bounced Ellen in his arms a bit, knowing all to well that the baby girl was just trying to get his attention. Blaine felt a little guilty, really, he wasn’t home with his daughter half as much as he’d like to be. He held Ellen close to his chest, hoping to help her fall asleep.

"I can bring him back home tomorrow though, right?" he asked, hopeful. He just really wanted his lover to be okay, and home safe with him. Blaine hated when there was a possible scare with Kurt, it made him always think of the worst. He knew his fiancée would be fine, but a part of him wasn’t going to settle down until the two were back home together.

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The nurse smiled and went to pick up the bag Kurt had brought with him. "Do you also need help with your bag?" she asked Blaine politely.

Ellen yawned and looked at Blaine before letting out a wail and clutching to his shirt. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and hiccuped. She was both falling asleep and trying to get his dad's attention.

The nurse smiled at Blaine's questions and nodded. "He will be okay. And if there are any complications he's staying here so we can treat him earlier. The problem is that with immunity disease he's more prone to severe sickness and then getting some new infection and it could go forever. Here he'll get fluids once he's in his room and medication, it'll be safer. He's in good hands." she led Blaine to the room at the end of one of corridors.

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

"Yeah, that’s right… He’s, uh, he’s my fiancé," Blaine nodded, holding Ellen close to him. "He’ll he okay right?" he asked the woman, knowing he was worrying much more than he had to. "I just, I worry about him with the HIV a lot…"

Blaine sighed softly, looking down at the baby girl in his arms for a moment. “Yeah, she’ll end up just falling asleep right away if we get into a room, I think,” he nodded, pressing a gentle kiss to his tired daughter’s forehead.

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Kurt reached for Ellen but then suddenly got up and ran to the bathroom. The nurse nearby came close and smiled at Blaine politely. 

"Mister Anderson, that's right? I'll take you two to the room and mister Hummel will join us after being admitted. He'll already be changed, another nurse will help him with this. I think your daughter will be more comfortable in a room." she said kindly and smiled at Ellen.

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

"She’ll use my bed," Blaine nodded, holding the baby girl close to him. "As long as she has something to play with for a little while she’ll be fine for the night," he pointed out, watching the girl in his arms adoringly. He really did love their daughter.

Blaine looked up towards his fiancé, a slight frown on his face and Kurt’s desperation. “Kurt… I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have anything to be afraid of, okay? I’m here, and I’ll make sure you’re all right. I promise. You’re going to be fine…”

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Kurt bit his lip and rubbed Ellen's back gently as she calmed down in Blaine's arms. He didn't want to be away from his daughter. Usually he lived with the knowledge about HIV without any fear in every days life. But this  was the first time he actually felt what it meant. And it was terrifying. 

"They're going to give you a bed so we can put her to sleep. I'm not sure if we can get her something but she could use your bed? I brought some of her toys and she's so little, she won't know the difference. I have everything in the bag." Kurt explained quickly and looked at Blaine with wide eyes. "Please don't go away. I can't do it without you." 

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

Blaine gently rocked their daughter in his arms, hoping to get the tiny girl to calm down a bit. “As much as I wish I could take you home and just spend the night curled up with you, I think you have to stay here too,” he told his love with a soft sigh.

He hummed to his daughter quietly, looking down at her in his arms. Blaine knew the hospital and her dad’s seeming so anxious had to be scaring her a bit, so he did the best he could to calm her, smiling a bit to himself as his humming out a stop to the tears.

“Kurt… You’re sure we should have her stay here all night? I know you want her with you but I can tell she’s tired…”

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Kurt sighed with relief when Blaine entered the hospital and held Ellen close. "See, angel? Dad is here." he whispered and kissed the top of his daughter's head. He rubbed her back and looked at Blaine as he kissed his cheek. 

"I'm okay, I'm going to be but they don't think I should go home right now. I can easily get fever and it can just easily end with a serious opportunistic infection." Kurt explained and handed Ellen to Blaine. "I think she's crying because I'm stressed now. She's not puking anymore and she had no fever." 

Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

Blaine hurried into the ER after his show, his Newsies makeup (which was really just a little fake dirt) still on his face and his hair still sloppy. He hadn’t even bothered to shower and clean up once he’d heard something was up with regard to Kurt’s HIV. He set his dance bag down on the floor and immediately sat beside his fiancée, hearing their daughter cry.

Blaine sighed softly, an arm slipping around the older boy as he looked down at the baby girl. “Ellen, it’s okay… Shh, Daddy’s going to be okay,” he spoke soothingly at the girl.

He watched their baby for a moment before looking up towards his lover. “How do you feel? Are you all right?” he asked, his voice soft and caring.

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Hospital. || Kurt & Blaine.

Kurt was sitting in a waiting room with Ellen. He was already taken for an examination while his daughter was checked but while she turned out to be completely fine, he wasn't. A simple infection that would for anyone end with a stay in bed for a few days, Kurt was told he should let them admit him. 

He sighed when another doctor approached him. They agreed to wait for Blaine but still came to check up on him every few minutes and there was a nurse sitting around that helped with Ellen while Kurt felt sick. 

"It's okay, baby girl." Kurt whispered when Ellen started crying quietly. He patted her back and shushed her softly. "Dad is going to be here and daddy is going to get better." 

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Text to Kurt

Blaine: I'll come pick her up, okay?

Blaine: Do you want me to leave you there and stay home with her or have a friend watch her while I go back to you?

Kurt: I'm with her right now, they said it's not dangerous to her.

Kurt: So can you two stay with me?

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Text to Kurt

Blaine: Oh, Kurt...

Kurt: It's a stomach bug with me and Ellen was just having bad digestion.

Kurt: But because I'm HIV positive they told me I need to stay for observation.

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Text to Kurt

Blaine: Fine.

Kurt: They found my doctor. She insisted I get admitted as soon as you're here.

Kurt: It's HIV thing.