lamie108

[lamie108]

🍓👍🌈🍉🍐🍇✨ VIDEOS AND BOOKS about health and veganism! _________________ VIDEOS 101 Reasons to Go Vegan Forks Over Knifes Cowspiracy If Slaughterhouses Had Glass Walls Food, Inc. Vegucated Supersize Me Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead Food Matters Earthlings Blackfish Meat the Truth _________________ BOOKS A Diet for A Poisoned Planet Skinny Bitch The China Study The Starch Solution 80/10/10 _________________ Check them out, get educated and be passionate! A vegan lifestyle is absolutely amazing for our bodies, for the animals and for the earth! 🌏 Be a compassionate human being 😌✌️

[lamie108]

NO!

[lamie108]

a letter to ed

nearly seven years ago, I fell into your trap. like Alice fell down the rabbit hole, I was enticed, infatuated, romanticized, obsessed. I love the power I felt from skipping meals, the compliments I got from my middle school friends and dance teachers on my weight loss. you made me strong, while my peers were weak with their sandwiches and juice boxes and snacks at sleepovers. I counted it as victories when collar bones and ribs appeared, felt proud at the black spots I saw when I stood up, smiled at my dry skin and cold hands. Teachers started calling home, and my mom began to cry at dinner every night, but you whispered reassuringly in my ear. After a while, though, you weren’t so appealing. You lost your spark, and so had I. When I began to eat again, I naively thought I had beat you. But you, being the bastard you are, fooled me. You took my strength and turned it right back into weakness, and convinced me to eat everything I could and then shove my fingers down my throat. No longer could I go to dinner with friends, for now, I couldn’t even make the excuse of not being hungry. No. Now, I had to eat everything in sight, as fast as I could, and get rid of it as soon as I was done. I stole money from my parents and friends so I could buy food to binge on, because you promised me it would make me feel better. You convinced me to steal from grocery stores, to throw up in bushes and trashcans. You made me take laxatives and diuretics, set alarms for the middle of the night to do exercises in my dark, haunted bedroom. You made staring down a toilet bowl more important than any relationship, goal or passion in my life. In fact, you made me toss all of those out. My teeth rotted, my hair fell out, my grades dropped, my friends left, my weight fluctuated, my throat bled, and my spirit was broken. “But you have me,” you would taunt. Because of you, I spent nearly 6 months in treatment centers, 3 of which I was confined to a wheel chair because my heart was so weak. But even once I quieted your voice, you never truly left me. You still convinced me to weigh myself behind my therapists back, to skip a meal when I ate too much the previous one, to work out harder when I ate a “forbidden” food. You allowed to me put on weight and be healthy and then laughed at me every time I looked in a mirror, even though I was healthy. Although you only convince me to skip a few meals or purge every now and then, I��m fucking done. I’m done hating myself, I’m done living my life out of fear and self hatred and that constant lingering notion that I am never good enough. You have taken so much from me, and though it will not be easy, once and for all, I am going to look you in the eye and take my fucking life back. 

[lamie108]

20 Things Someone With An Eating Disorder Wishes They Could Tell You

I envy you for being able to eat without a burdening feeling of guilt, shame and self loathing.

I often envision myself eating normally - enjoying it - but the idea is always better than reality.

Please don’t feel guilty about eating in front of me. Watching other people eat with enjoyment spread across their faces fills me with a warmth you wouldn’t know.

I wish I could cook for you and share the meal together. I really do.

My anorexia isn’t an attempt to be thin and beautiful. It’s about disappearing entirely.

My bulimia isn’t about having my cake and eating it. It’s about punishing myself.

I’m sorry that I cancel on you so much but my bulimia forces unexpected dates upon me that I have to attend.

If I do ever eat anything in front of you, take that as a huge sign of trust.

If I do ever eat anything in front of you, please don’t bring any attention to this situation.

Eating disorders aren’t just a starvation of food - they are a starvation of life and joy.

I am not being rude when I don’t join in your conversations about food. I just feel so disconnected from that part of life.

It annoys me when you go on diets because you’re perfect and happy as you are. Don’t ruin that. I know where obsession leads.

I didn’t look at a picture of a model and seek to acquire their figure. I looked at myself and hated the reflection; I thought I took up too much space.

When I ask you if I look big, I am not attention seeking. I need reassurance that my quest to diminish is working.

Me not wanting to be your size doesn’t mean I think you’re fat. It means I associate your size with happiness of which I am not worthy of.

When meeting new people, please don’t imply that I eat to try and make me not stand out. I think they will see me as weak for being an eater.

My eating disorder doesn’t act alone; its friends are depression and anxiety.

I used to love food and still do. I probably think about food more than you do.

My eating disorder isn’t a choice - it’s an illness.

I will never expect you to understand me and my disorder as I don’t think I even understand myself.

[lamie108]

Motivation <3

[lamie108]

Sad b/w blog

[lamie108]

A year ago, I would've never guessed life would be the way it is now. 呢一年， 世界怪得誇張。 如果可以重來， 我會選擇不認識很多人。 原來不是把真心話說出來就可以互相了解的。 這世界太複雜，每個人都喜歡說著相反的話。 People that I never thought would known turn into my baes. Friends turn into family. Dreams turn into reality. I've met my mentors,inspirations and my loved ones. Been through hell lot. There were times when I was constantly trying to impress people I don't even like and chasing that bloody pity hella affection from people. I seriously don't know who I'm living for. Lol. What really hits me this year is that I used to care so damn much, I mean I still do, just not THAT much. And I was never able to understand why some people could take their mind off of everything and simply just don't give a fuck at all. A friend once told me Carefree d, your life would be easier. I knew not why, But then I figured it out when my heart was completely shattered by giving a fuck. But it don't matter no more. Because, With or without u by my side, I will still get to where I wanna be. Waiting for someone else to make u happy is the best way to make yourself sad. But the heart wants what it wants. Huh. To sum up, This is a year where Expectations and false hope got me like... A PROSTITUTE OF FEELINGS. Ugh. At the end of the day, all I have is me. It's only me who will love myself no matter what. Loving myself doesn't make me selfish, it makes me indestructible. It took me sixteen something years to learn what it really is to LOVE myself, I don't have that kind of time to convince somebody else. Promises aren't forever. Nothing lasts forever. Because everyone leaves eventually. Call it a human instinct. People aren't whom they claim to be, it's normal but some gone off the trail like... WAY OFF. I've never felt so disgusted in my life before. People. Fake. Drama. Ugh. #idfwu Anyway... Hello to u too🙋 2015 ;) May I be surrounded with the loved ones and may all my ambitions come true. Let bygones be bygones. Growing up is such a pain in the ass. Ugh. But I've never been so blessed. Thank u for everyone who entered my life, for better or for worse. #happynewyear #2015 #ibegrinding #blessed #iloveme #thanku #bye2014 (at 💭💭💭)

[lamie108]

👯Beautiful liars👯 Ali & Chris bb🐷🐷 #wekillit #beyonce #justdance #piggy #on9 #xmas #sexy @alijai (at CHRISTMAS🎅🎅🎄🎄💝💕💜)

[lamie108]

Kaelyn Harris Get Me Bodied-Master Class