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I love this cover. Notice that her clothes are 60s fashion, while his are 70s.

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Fic: Mating Season

Mating Season (4747 words) by Lillian Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pietro Maximoff/Wanda Maximoff Additional Tags: human zoo, Aliens Made Them Do It, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Sex, cervical stimulation, Aphrodisiacs, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Twincest Summary:

Giant alien bugs conquer the planet right before Wanda and Pietro submit to Hydra experimentation. The twins end up in a human zoo. Like any proper zoo, it has a captive breeding program.

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To Err Is Divine (34585 words) by Lillian Chapters: 6/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff, one-sided past Wanda Maximoff/Pietro Maximoff Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Incest, Consent Issues, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Identity Crisis, Parenting, Eventual Smut, Plotty Summary: When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts to slip. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once entangled in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end. Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have ever imagined.

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To Err Is Divine (27929 words) by Lillian Chapters: 5/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff, one-sided past Wanda Maximoff/Pietro Maximoff Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Ralph Bohner Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Consent Issues, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Manipulation, Eventual Smut, Plotty Summary: When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts to slip. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once caught in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end.

Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have ever dreamed.

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Bequest, NC-17, Frank/Billy, 660 w, canon compliant

After their first tour together, Billy and Frank rented a tiny rundown house in North Carolina because Billy didn’t want to live in the barracks and Frank couldn’t, since he wasn’t a bachelor. The ancient leather couch was a rescue from a yard sale.

It cost them 20 bucks after successful joint haggling, and for a year it was the centerpiece of their crappy little living room. They slept on it, ate on it, bled on it, played cards on it and just parked their asses on it and talked. That couch earned its keep.

When it was time to give up the house, Frank sweet-talked a mechanic from Bronx into lending him her truck, and drove the old fleabag couch all the way up to his family’s house. Frank could be sentimental like that. For the next few years, the couch sat in Frank’s garage, and he and Billy made use of it every time Billy came over. Chewing the fat over cans of cold beer, that sort of thing.

After Frank died, Billy inherited the couch. Frank made it a point in his will. Billy found out right after the funeral, when he was still under the illusion he could leave Frank behind. When he heard the news from Frank’s mother-in-law, he almost laughed in her face. Why the fuck would Billy want that old piece of junk? He told her he wasn't interested, and then spent that evening and half the night worrying she might have already thrown it away or given it to someone else. It had always been their couch, and now Frank was gone, it was Billy’s couch, and he wanted it. Boy, how he wanted it.

Billy collected the couch and set it up in his study. He had a study now. Would wonders never cease. He spent the night there sometimes, on the couch. It was too short to accommodate all of him, but otherwise fantastically comfortable. The smell of beer, machine oil and old sweat was overpowering in the dark, when he had nothing to distract him.

Billy could call to mind so many images in that empty darkness. The exact shape of Frank’s erection from that time he walked in on Frank jerking off to porn on their couch. It was still their couch then.

Billy’s catlike thread has always served him well. It bought him a few precious seconds to drink in the sight of Frank. The sweat glittering on his neck. His tight abs where he’d lazily pushed his t-shirt out of the way to facilitate clean-up. The dark hair trail on his lower belly. The fat, angry-red dick poking out of Frank’s fist. It was long, definitely longer than Billy’s but it was hard to judge by how much because it was also fucking thick.

Billy had glimpsed Frank’s dick before, out of the corner of his eye in restrooms and communal showers, and man but it definitely lived up to that promise. It was the kind of dick that fit Frank’s animal physicality, a dick made for hard fucking, for fucking on instinct after a violent fight for superiority that Frank won. The thought flashed in Billy’s mind that he couldn’t imagine Frank using it right on a nice twiggy Catholic woman like Maria, who liked to play boss in that family. Frank’s cock was wasted on her.

Then Billy’s mind caught up and reminded him that he was straight and had no reason to gawk at dicks, and when in a split second Frank opened his eyes, Billy reacted perfectly. He went “shit, sorry, man” and backed out at the exact right speed to seem sorry but not like he had a reason to be running away.

Billy didn't jerk off on the couch. He sure as shit didn't fuck women on it. He didn't even invite Curtis for a drink in the study.

He had to preserve the smell for as long as he could.

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What If Wanda vs Cinematic Wanda

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To Err Is Divine (21979 words) by Lillian Chapters: 4/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Ralph Bohner, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Tommy Maximoff, Billy Maximoff, Monica Rambeau Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Incest, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Possessive Behavior, Manipulation, Mindfuck, Unreliable Narrator, Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, Parenting, Wanda doesn't take down the Hex, (Eventual)Porn With Plot Summary:

When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts to slip. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once caught in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end.

Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have ever dreamed.

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This is so serious to me like her face in the second onehdjskkwjdjdjjdhdhhdjehdjkwksj

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To Err Is Divine (16348 words) by Lillian Chapters: 3/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Ralph Bohner, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Tommy Maximoff, Billy Maximoff, Monica Rambeau Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Incest, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Possessive Behavior, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Mindfuck, Unreliable Narrator, Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, Medium Burn, Parenting, Wanda doesn't take down the Hex, Porn With Plot Summary:

When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts slipping. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once caught in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end.

Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have dreamed.

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To Err Is Divine (10405 words) by Lillian Chapters: 2/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Ralph Bohner, Peter Parker, Stephen Strange, Tommy Maximoff, Billy Maximoff, Monica Rambeau Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Incest, Consent Issues, Dubious Consent, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Possessive Behavior, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Mindfuck, Unreliable Narrator, Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, Medium Burn, identity crisis, Parenting, Wanda doesn't take down the Hex Summary:

When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts slipping. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once caught in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end.

Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have dreamed.

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To Err Is Divine (5116 words) by Lillian Chapters: 1/? Fandom: WandaVision (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ralph Bohner/Wanda Maximoff Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Incest Kink, Incest, Dubious Consent, Power Imbalance, Seduction, Getting Together, Possessive Behavior, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Mindfuck, Unreliable Narrator, Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, Medium Burn, identity crisis, Hints of cosmic horror, Parenting, Wanda doesn't take down the Hex Summary: When Wanda blasts Ralph on Halloween, his necklace becomes damaged and Agatha's control over him starts slipping. Caught between multiple deadly outcomes, Ralph's only way out is to keep pretending he is Pietro. But once caught in his own successful deception, he has no choice but to follow it to the end. Even when it turns out Wanda's feelings for her brother run deeper than Ralph could have dreamed.

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We're monsters, Frankie. We can only love our own kind. Well, not you, I guess. But that's how I am, and I can't trust the rest of us. You're my one chance for a family. I'd be alone without you. And you know what? I've decided I don't want to be alone. I can be content alone, but I can't really be happy.

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From the cover of Clash: Daredevil and Punisher vs Jigsaw from 1995. Because Jigsaw has always looked horrible and it's only the dastardly show that gave him some light sexy scars that ruined his character, ruined it, I say!

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I keep being ambushed by Frank/Billy scenarios that sort of follow from each other.

I watch Train to Busan for the 1st time, and naturally I try to search for zombie apocalypse Punisher fic in which Billy lets the Castles get caught by the zombies to save his own hide (and partly because he's secretly jealous he's not Frank's best girl), and then it turns out Frank is somewhat immune to the zombie-causing thingy and he goes after Billy as this half-undead, unstopable super-Marine. Sort of a Frankenstein monster of Billy's own making. Which is kind of the case in canon but it would be even more so in this imaginary Frank/Billy zombie fic.

But wait, what about a Frank/Billy Frankenstein fic? It kind of fits, what with one of the ship names being Frankenbilly and there being a Frankenstein version of Frank in the comics. Plus the novel is about a very pretty guy who keeps having his conventionally heterosexual life disrupted by a guy with a famously strong bone structure, as a result of events that transpired in the dead of night, in secret, on a flat surface under a sheet, and I'm sure I don't need to draw a map to the homoeroticism here. What are the odds that someone actually wrote a Frankenstein AU already? (Spoiler alert: they are pretty low.)

The honeymoon phase in a new fandom/ship is great, but also distracting.

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Favorite Frank/Billy fanvid, with a relatively low number of views. I guess it counts as a half-hidden gem. By remontada.

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Frank/Billy Limericks

In the scene above Frank comes up with something that is not a limerick, not even the tame Christmas card kind. Except!!! I’m a big fan of limericks! I even wrote a bunch for another fandom way back. If you don’t know what a limerick is, they are best explained in the form of another limerick:

The limerick form is complex Its contents run chiefly to sex It burgeons with virgins And masculine urgins And swarms with erotic effects.

So... yeah.

Because it’s a proud fandom tradition not to let little things like facts get in the way of fun, I decided to pretend Frank was making up a limerick and therefore I was allowed to modify/write a couple of limericks for a Frank/Billy fic I’m writing. But then the fic turned serious, and the limericks don’t really fit the tone anymore. Such poetic genius mustn’t be lost to the dusts of drawerfic though, which is why I’m posting the little fuckers to tumblr. Half of them aren’t even dirty. Here they are, Frank/Billy limericks:

There was a young man from the west Who painted a swell fancy vest When he walked down the street Every one he would meet To die they were destined they guessed.

War bonds, said an angler named Bill, Are the most useful catch to a villain - But unless torture and treachery Are your sort of lechery, mind they don't end in any ill will!"

A grunt known only as Frank, Made a pass on his bud Bill for a prank, But then Frank was received, Much warmer than he had conceived, And gave Bill an honorable discharge.

I hope that this story will please you, It is meant, just a little, to tease you, it's of friendship divine, and a love most sublime, and blood of the crimsonest hue.

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So I finished the 2nd season of The Punisher, yay. As a shipper and writer, it's a TREASURE TROVE of stuff to inspire and explore. Not so much as the 1st season, which is my bread and butter and jam and actually the whole breakfast table spread, but it's still a lot.

As a general viewer who is familiar with how story structure works, I've no idea how they got the basics so wrong. When you have two parallel storylines like here, at some point they have to converge. You tie up the Billy plot and the other plot and resolve them both at the same time. Otherwise cohesion goes out the window and both plot lines fall flatter than a frisbee under a steam roller.

Due to that fundamentally messed-up structure, what ended up happening was that Billy became the unintended second protagonist of season 2 (not hero or anti-hero, mind, a protagonist). If his storyline had become meaningfully entangled with the other plot line, the season could have ended with a big showdown between several villains and a few "heroes" like Frank and Madani etc. But because the two storylines were so contained and Frank hardly showed up in Billy's, Billy ended up as the main character in a torturous misery porn parallel plotline. The villain, and a villain with a less than illustrious comic history, got an adaptation lift-up due to sloppy storytelling. How about that?