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To start, I will provide a link to a youtube creator who perfectly explains why Lae’zel behaves in the way she does when she first meets Tav and the rest of the party members.
This was a comment left under one of the videos by the youtuber who made the video. It shows how people lack the understanding to grasp how fearful Lae’zel is and yes, it’s a video game, but if you’re going to define a character by her worst moments, try to understand why she feels that way.
I personally didn’t romance Lae’zel in my first and only full play through of BG3, however she became very close to my character and she devoted her loyalty to the friendship between my character and her. She would speak to my character in a respectful way and really seemed to show a big difference in her anger and fear from the beginning of the game.
Lae’zel is estimated to be around 22 years old, young in most regards of age in the realm of dnd. Out of all the companions/party members she is the youngest and potentially the most naive. As you go along in the journey to find a cure for the parasite you learn more about her upbringing, her people, her culture.
With the illithid parasite that has made its way into your party members brains she feels doomed. The one fate that her people fear the most and work towards destroying in their fight against the mindflayers is what she is now afflicted with. Instead of the certainty of her demise from the usual ceremorphosis that occurs when being infected she now just lives in fear it could be way worse for her since it’s a “special parasite” that infects her. She has been abducted, crash landed in a land she does not know, with people she has been trained to kill (infected with illithid parasites), but for some reason has to go against everything she’s learned so far in her short life because the parasite is unique and poses a different bigger threat.
Under any normal circumstances as humans say, dropped off in the middle of a foreign country you would be frightened. If you didn’t understand anyone and only were trained to fight and kill you would also be cruel and ruthless like Lae’zel in order to protect yourself and survive.
Thankfully I have seen many people who have been able to look past her initial harshness and see how she can develop into a loyal and even caring party member.
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