ladyingreen

[ladyingreen]

art dump for my spidersona/oc, Spider Fool! They're from Earth in the year 1200 or something idk

[ladyingreen]

sorry for what, bud?

hello hi um hey i just finished dungeons and daddies season 1 today. and uhh ummmmm uhhhhHHHHH

[ladyingreen]

In the town where I grew up, there was a large statue in one of the parks, of a famous historical white colonizer. I'm not going to say who specifically, suffice it to say that it was someone who wasn't worth memorializing for their deeds. And as you can imagine, this statue was a frequent target of vandalism, with paint or toilet paper or eggs on multiple occasions. Now, the local council was generally pretty lax when it came to repairing potholes or other public damage in the town, but every time, 24 hours after this particular statue was hit, the same person would always appear in a Hi-Vis vest, hat, mask and sunglasses, carrying a bucket of water, and wash it clean. They would do it as quickly as possible, but always made sure the face and the name carved at the bottom were generously scrubbed. This only encouraged people to do it again, and so it became a vicious cycle.

Within a year, the statue had sustained so much damage that it was unrecognizable and the lettering unreadable, so eventually the council came and took it down. Also apparently, the person in the Hi-Vis vest didn't even work for the council. They were supposedly just some 'good samaritan' who cleaned it, often before the council even discovered it needed cleaning, so they just let them do it and ignored the problem. They didn't bother putting the statue up again.

Much later, we found out that the anonymous 'samaritan' had been deliberately washing the statue with a bucket of saltwater, which had dramatically corroded it, causing irreversible accumulative damage far worse than spray paint ever would have done. It's even theorized that they were also often the one spray-painting it, just so that they had an excuse to come back after a day to wash it.

[ladyingreen]

no time for mansplaining, this place is gonna blow

[ladyingreen]

More inadvisable ways to introduce a new player character mid-dungeon, bait and switch edition:

A new character with almost but not quite identical stats and appearance comes hurrying up to the party, insisting that you’re the real [name], and the [name] everyone knew was an imposter; when informed that they died just before you arrived, cryptically remark that this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled that trick  

A character who nobody recognises speaks up from the party’s midst, acting like they expect to be familiar to the party; if questioned, claim that you’re the deceased character’s personal assistant, and that you’ve been here the entire time, then digress into a rant about how nobody every notices the help  

Following the next encounter, the party discovers a large, ornate treasure chest, which proves to contain nothing but your character, bound and gagged; once released, any complaint regarding the lack of gold and jewels should naturally be met with dramatic indignation at the implication that you’re not treasure enough  

The target the party has been sent to slay unexpectedly greets them warmly, explaining there’s been an awful misunderstanding: you’re not the true master of the dungeon, you’ve just been mistaken for the prophesied Lord of Evil, and you’d very much like to make your exit before the monsters figure it out  

[Spellcaster only] Your original character is revealed upon death to be a fraud with no magical powers, who had merely been impersonating a member of their ostensible character class; any spell effects you seemed to produce in fact originated from a heretofore-unsuspected accomplice: your horse

[ladyingreen]

Folks tend to talk about how Pippin addresses Denethor like they’re both equally ignorant of the political realities of the situation, but, like, Denethor probably knows exactly what the Shire’s political situation is? He’s looking at Pippin and in his head he’s like “okay, this provincial pipsqueak is being presumptuous as hell addressing me as a peer, but technically he’s within his right, and I can respect a power move” – and while Denethor is pondering how many levels of political power chess Pippin is playing here, Pippin is just *elevator music*.

[ladyingreen]

Things the Fellowship has argued about

What name to call Aragorn

What name to call Gandalf

What to call their meals. Boromir thinks, if it is eaten at dinnertime, regardless of whether it is the first meal of the day or not, then it is dinner. Sam thinks it isn't proper to call the first meal of the day dinner. Aragorn suggests they combine the two words but now everyone is fighting over whether it should be called breakfast-dinnner or dinner-breakfast. The fight nearly becomes physical

Whether Legolas or Gimli is winning their daily argument with eachother

If hobbits are regular sized and everyone else is really big, or if everyone else is regular sized and hobbits are small

The same as above except with horses and ponies

If Gimli's beard is real or not. This one started as a joke between Merry and Pippin but then Legolas saw how mad it made Gimli and so continues to bring it up

Inter-hobbit fighting about whether it is called pot-ae-toes, pot-ah-toes, or taters

"Can Legolas really talk to trees, or is he just fucking with us?" Aragorn and Gandalf refuse to weigh in on this

Whether the Ent-draught caused Merry and Pippin to grow or if they just did that on their own. This fight is Pippin vs. Everyone Else

Whether the non-hobbits of the Fellowship would be Tooks, Brandybucks, or Bagginses. This argument is unintelligible to most of them, although Gandalf has the knowledge to be offended when Pippin suggests he would be a Took.

"What would happen if someone ate the ring?"

Fights over whether the elves, the dwarves, or the hobbits tell the story of the reclaiming of Erebor most accurately. Even though Gandalf was there, he just shrugs when anyone asks him

Which variety of pipeweed is the best kind. Merry threatened Gimli to a duel over this one

Who gets next watch

[ladyingreen]

The fellowship as random McElroys:

Frodo:

Sam:

Merry:

Pippin:

Legolas:

Aragorn:

Gimli:

Boromir:

Gandalf:

[ladyingreen]

Hey Neil, due to a certain British author saying some stupid things again... Could you please quickly say something supportive for trans people? Would be really comforting right now

I’ve missed this (I’ve been taking a Twitter holiday for the last month, for my own mental health), but I can imagine. I’m sorry. 

Trans women are women. Trans men are men.  Trans rights are human rights. I’m sorry that some people have such a hard time getting their heads around that. But the world is changing, and history is with you.

[ladyingreen]

I have never in my life had a kitten react this negatively to swaddling. Fully feral 8 week olds tolerate it better than this 10 day old kitten. Warning: he is LOUD and sounds like he's being tortured.

You can imagine how much fun tube feeding him is right now....

This is the same baby that was growling at me so it appears to be a native personality thing. He's going to be a delightful adult cat at the vet.... Maybe I should change his name to "eternal gabapentin"

[ladyingreen]

What's wrong with Gandhi?

Where do I begin?

- Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to “shame” the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, “But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher’s knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions.”

- Wrote an open letter to the British people in 1940 telling them to surrender to the Axis even if it mean accepting genocide.

- Was very anti-black. I hope you can stomach reading how he treated black people in South Africa. It’s fucking disgusting.

- Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.

- Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a “meek cow” was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.

- Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.

- During his time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered that a young male was harassing two of his female followers. He responded by cutting the girls’ hair off to ensure the “sinner’s eye” was “sterilized.” He later boasted about the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.

- Argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honor.

- Believed that menstruation was a manifestation of the distortion of a woman’s soul by her sexuality.

- Waged a war against contraceptives, labeling Indian women who used them as whores.

- Held the attitude that women were simply creatures that could bring either pride or shame to the men who own them.

Sources:

Websites:  Women Suffer From Gandhi’s Legacy,  People who most likely chose Gandhi as a historical figure to do a report on and immediately regretted it, On Mahatma Gandhi, his pathetic racism and advancement of segregation of black people by Sentletse Diakanyo, Not All Peaceful: 13 Racist Quotes Gandhi Said About Black People by Nick  Chiles

Books: Sex and Power by Rita Banerji, On Pacifism by Derrick Jensen,  The Collected Works of Mahatma Gandhi

[ladyingreen]

Europe is currently being burned alive and people still think climate change is a joke. It’s warmer in North Europe than in the middle eastern deserts.

Nearly all northern countries broke their decades old heat records this week.

[ladyingreen]

[ladyingreen]

DND Bard concept; it’s just Dolly Parton

[ladyingreen]

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

[ladyingreen]

Norse mythology fails to convey the sense of terror that must have hung over Asgard every time Loki was gone for longer than eight months and three weeks

[ladyingreen]

are you ok

disney built the biggest and most expensive animatronic ever in their history and then built a mountain around it and it BROKE a couple of months after the ride opened and it’s impossible to fix it without dismantling the entire mountain structure and that’s honestly the most hilarious verified disney fact™ ever

the second most hilarious being that the chum animatronic on the finding nemo ride at epcot used to pop out of the barrel to scare guests but one time a cast member was walking past it during an opening/closing procedure and it popped out and smacked them clean in the face so now it’s turned off permanently