ladyanarchyj

[ladyanarchyj]

I’ve had so much I wanted to do. Graduating Ateneo, taking Masters in Robotics or Bioengineering, PhD, and building my own gym slash cafe, building a nice life for my dogs and my family. Finishing thesis with some of the best guys in my year and exploring my love for health and fitness and climbing and combat sports. I still want to do all of these. I have many hobbies and interests, and I love life immensely. I don’t want to do this. I want to see my best friends graduate law school, my longtime friends marry and finish med school. I want to take care of my akoh and help out my siblings. I know I’ll most likely get to do all of these things. I’m strong enough for that, because I’ve got great support systems - loving friends and tolerant blood.

This isn’t some I wanna go because the world is cruel and whatever or that I’m choosing this because of one single event or even a string of events. It’s not that. It’s probably not even an effect of this unplugged from the matrix worldview (sir Leland will understand what I mean). I simply don’t want to be part of it anymore. I know the world can be forgiving and fun and that life is gonna work out for me. I just don’t want to anymore.

I’m also so exhausted. I’m tired of being strong. I’ve tried so so so hard to push this away and to step off from the fringes. Friends and family, please don’t think as if you have lacked in any way. You have been wonderful. I’m so sorry I failed.

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To Andre, you are the brother and best friend I don’t deserve. You know what I’m apologizing for. I owe you my life and my future. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know and I love you for it.

To Lean who has been there since day 1, you have loved me without judgment and without expectation. I’m grateful you’ve allowed me the space to be shitty and for giving me the space for redemption. You may not know it but a big part of my wanting to be better is because I wanted to make you proud.

To Chino, man I’m sorry. Can’t be your go-home buddy anymore. Thanks for making me laugh and for covering for me this past year. You’re such an ass and I would not prefer anything else. Sorry to leave Keren stuck with you though.

To Jake, Bernice, Princess. Thanks for bringing me through college and for blessing me with your love. You told me to find new friends and I did, I tried, but I still am grateful for your company through these years. It sucks to be forgotten and to be replaced but that’s okay. I don’t blame you guys. I’m sorry for putting you through this again. I promise last na to.

To Dino. I’m sorry, brother. Thank you for giving me another world to experience. You’re a refreshing change of pace and though we didn’t know each other long, you were loyal and sweet and supportive. I’m sorry we didn’t meet sooner.

To Erika and Steph, you two made sure to shine lights my way without me having to ask you for it. You guys were so understanding and so patient and I wish there were more of you in the world. Thank you for your friendship. I love you both.

To Doc Pagay and Maam Teya. I fought for as long and as hard as I could. I swear I did. You have not failed. I owe my life to you.

To sir Mhey. Sorry we never got to meet bro, I’m sure we would have hit it off. Already proud of you and I’m sure you’re gonna be big. We have the same heart, promise me you’ll stay that way.

To Porqui. We had a really good run. You made me really really happy and I will forever be grateful for our time together. You taught me so much and I’ve seen myself grow with you. You were the love of my life and you really brought me out of my shell. Thank you for everything. Immensely proud of you and like promised, always gonna be in your corner. Don’t worry about me, Teddy is good.

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I never made a note before, because in hindsight, I guess I was never really serious. This feels liberating. There’s a certain euphoria that comes after making this decision, and by no means was it an easy one. I’ve been in and out of depression naps to try to wait it out. I probably could, but that’s just the thing. I don’t want to go through this again. I’m running away. It’s shameful. That’s why I’m contrite. I know leaving is going to break hearts, and I have struggled to make this decision, but here I am. I have nothing to offer but apologies.

I know my leaving will hurt you. I’m sorry, please don’t hate me for doing this. I have to. It’s not that I can’t. I just really don’t want to anymore.

My only unfinished businesses are my aunt and my beagle Vaio. Please help me look after them.

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Written October 20. Scheduled.

[ladyanarchyj]

it’s just one of those croissant days

[ladyanarchyj]

Honestly I think one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is to separate your negative qualities from your identity.

Instead of saying “I’m lazy,” saying “I’ve made a habit of not doing work unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Instead of saying “I’m a bad friend,” saying “I haven’t communicated as much as I should with the people I care about.”

By being specific about your problems, and by framing it as an action that you are consciously either working on or ignoring rather than an unchangeable part of who you are, you allow yourself to accept your mistakes and work constructively on them instead of pretending they didn’t happen or wallowing in blaming yourself.

[ladyanarchyj]

[ladyanarchyj]

Did you know that after they switched to blind auditions, major symphony orchestras hired women between 30% to 55% more? Before bringing in “blind auditions” with a screen to conceal the the candidate, women in the top 5 major orchestras made up less than 5% of the musicians performing.

[ladyanarchyj]

sometimes my girl looks so cute and i’m like man i wanna take care of you and love you and hold you for a long time!! then other times she looks soo hot and i’m like WOW the fuck? lemme rip your clothes off rn

[ladyanarchyj]

Mood: having a girl lay her head on my chest and falling asleep in my arms while I play with her hair.

[ladyanarchyj]

I’m in love with her. It’s a fact. Because when she smiles, when she’s laughing, it’s like all the planets and stars are aligned and it’s the greatest feeling in the world to see the person you’re in love with just being happy. I’m in love with her. It’s a fact. Because when she’s upset, when she cries, it’s like a knife being plunged into my chest, slowly twisting. It just breaks my heart to know that something or someone has punctured her heart and caused her pain. It’s a horrible feeling to see the person you’re in love feel so hurt. I’d do anything to make her happy and I’d do anything not to make her cry. Because she is my heart and I want to be with her for as long as she’ll let me. And I want to keep it that way. Because I love her. It’s a fact.

Oko Ninja (1am confessions)

[ladyanarchyj]

i want to lounge on the beach and hold hands while chasing waves, i want to kiss the most beautiful girl in the world as the sun sets 

[ladyanarchyj]

i have a huge thing for neck kisses, breathe on my neck and i’m already gone

[ladyanarchyj]

Couldn’t find this video posted here to reblog, sooo I gonna drop it like this because it’s important!👌💪

[ladyanarchyj]

A partner should feel like a part of you so much so that if you cheat on them you feel like you betrayed yourself and if you don’t feel that then maybe you shouldn’t have been with them to begin with.

[ladyanarchyj]

Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.

Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism (via philosophybits)

[ladyanarchyj]

Optimism is the opium of the people.

Milan Kundera, The Joke (via quotespile)

[ladyanarchyj]

Elon Musk Said the Raptor Rocket Will “Meet or Exceed Passenger Airline Levels of Safety”

The SpaceX Raptor

In 2016, the United States Air Force contracted SpaceX to begin designing and developing the Raptor prototype upper-stage engine, a bipropellant rocket engine. This design is based on SpaceX’s reusable, methane-powered Raptor engine, which is used in the upper stages of both the Falcon 9 and Falcon Heavy. On Saturday, in an ask me anything (AMA) on Reddit, Elon Musk got candid online and answered some questions about the prototype and other Raptor design objectives.

One person asked, “Could you update us on the status of scaling up the Raptor prototype to the final size? The sub-scale Raptor prototype has a (speculated) thrust of about ~100 tons-force currently, and will be scaled up to ~170 tons-force according to your IAC/2017 design. Can you tell us more about the current status and expected (best-case) timeline of this scale-up effort?”

Musk gave a thorough response: “Thrust scaling is the easy part. Very simple to scale the [developed] Raptor to 170 tons.  The flight engine design is much lighter and tighter, and is extremely focused on reliability. The objective is to meet or exceed passenger airline levels of safety.”

“If our engine is even close to a jet engine in reliability, has a flak shield to protect against a rapid unscheduled disassembly and we have more engines than the typical two of most airliners, then exceeding airline safety should be possible,” he continued. “That will be especially important for point to point journeys on Earth. The advantage of getting somewhere in 30 mins by rocket instead of 15 hours by plane will be negatively affected if ‘but also, you might die’ is on the ticket.”

Rocket Travel

SpaceX’s reusable rockets have paved the way for cost-effective, environmentally conscious, and efficient space travel. The Raptor prototype engine is, as Musk explained in the AMA, currently on track to scale up for use in the aerospace company’s rockets. But Musk’s response, alongside his recent presentation at the International Aeronautical Congress (IAC), have added to the discussion. These updates not only confirmed that SpaceX will be able to scale up the engine, but asserted that the design will focus on human safety—all the while alluding to the possibility of casual travel by rocket.

So, is there the possibility, in the near future, that SpaceX will be marketing their rockets for casual, commercial use? It is possible. But currently, it seems SpaceX still has work to do in completing the scaling of the engine and improving the safety for riders within these vehicles. If the comments poking fun at Musk’s careful wording of potential failure are to be taken to heart, SpaceX and Musk’s priorities—the dreaded “unscheduled disassembly”—are in the right place.

The post Elon Musk Said the Raptor Rocket Will “Meet or Exceed Passenger Airline Levels of Safety” appeared first on Futurism.

from Futurism http://ift.tt/2ge4K3E

[ladyanarchyj]

Elon Musk Said the Raptor Rocket Will “Meet or Exceed Passenger Airline Levels of Safety”

The SpaceX Raptor

In 2016, the United States Air Force contracted SpaceX to begin designing and developing the Raptor prototype upper-stage engine, a bipropellant rocket engine. This design is based on SpaceX’s reusable, methane-powered Raptor engine, which is used in the upper stages of both the Falcon 9 and Falcon Heavy. On Saturday, in an ask me anything (AMA) on Reddit, Elon Musk got candid online and answered some questions about the prototype and other Raptor design objectives.

One person asked, “Could you update us on the status of scaling up the Raptor prototype to the final size? The sub-scale Raptor prototype has a (speculated) thrust of about ~100 tons-force currently, and will be scaled up to ~170 tons-force according to your IAC/2017 design. Can you tell us more about the current status and expected (best-case) timeline of this scale-up effort?”

Musk gave a thorough response: “Thrust scaling is the easy part. Very simple to scale the [developed] Raptor to 170 tons.  The flight engine design is much lighter and tighter, and is extremely focused on reliability. The objective is to meet or exceed passenger airline levels of safety.”

“If our engine is even close to a jet engine in reliability, has a flak shield to protect against a rapid unscheduled disassembly and we have more engines than the typical two of most airliners, then exceeding airline safety should be possible,” he continued. “That will be especially important for point to point journeys on Earth. The advantage of getting somewhere in 30 mins by rocket instead of 15 hours by plane will be negatively affected if ‘but also, you might die’ is on the ticket.”

Rocket Travel

SpaceX’s reusable rockets have paved the way for cost-effective, environmentally conscious, and efficient space travel. The Raptor prototype engine is, as Musk explained in the AMA, currently on track to scale up for use in the aerospace company’s rockets. But Musk’s response, alongside his recent presentation at the International Aeronautical Congress (IAC), have added to the discussion. These updates not only confirmed that SpaceX will be able to scale up the engine, but asserted that the design will focus on human safety—all the while alluding to the possibility of casual travel by rocket.

So, is there the possibility, in the near future, that SpaceX will be marketing their rockets for casual, commercial use? It is possible. But currently, it seems SpaceX still has work to do in completing the scaling of the engine and improving the safety for riders within these vehicles. If the comments poking fun at Musk’s careful wording of potential failure are to be taken to heart, SpaceX and Musk’s priorities—the dreaded “unscheduled disassembly”—are in the right place.

The post Elon Musk Said the Raptor Rocket Will “Meet or Exceed Passenger Airline Levels of Safety” appeared first on Futurism.

from Futurism http://ift.tt/2ge4K3E