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He is being a cat

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I got a feeling…

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[ Shen & Luo twins, Bingqiu & Bingjiu ]

(SJ is not happy with the behavior of the smaller of the two beasts towards his brother)

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AU where LBH and SJ are Qing Jing Peak disciples under SY

I wonder where things will go from here

I vaguely recall this one post on twt with three possible outcomes for the trio where 1: both of the disciples end up in the abyss, 2: SY pushes LBH into the abyss and 3: SJ pushes LBH into the abyss

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farmer shen jiu but farmer in the sense that he's researching and breeding the deadliest types of poisonous plants. however, he also makes their antidotes so it cancels out. yue qingyuan is his sponsor (qijiu platonic soulmates in this au bc i say so), well sll of cqm are his sponsors but its through yqy. in exchange, sj gives them access to any research he plans on publishing and free/seriously discounted medicine and plants.

then there's binghe(lbg) bingge was once daved by sj when he was younger. he and his mother were basically on the streets, lbg snd his mother started running a very strong fever. it was so much that he wasn't sure if either of them would make it. sj happened to be passing by (lbg and his mother lived on the outskirts of town and sj had come to collect some fruits hed planted two seasons ago) and took pity on them. at first lbg was distrustful of the cultivator but sj truly had no ill intent, even if he was a bit rude. he gave them medicine, left lbg strict instructions to only take them twice a day, sunrise and sunset. then he threw a pouch of coins and as abruptly as he had come he departed.

since then, lbg is a bit obsessed with finding this mystery cultivator

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Date idea: I kill myself right in front of you and you cheer and clap while you watch

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Omegaverse Binjiuyuan ft alpha!binghe omegas!jiuyuan beta!sqh

(sy came into pidw and later sj was never gone and they have separate bodies now don't think too much Abt it)

-

Jiuyuan both have slight complexes about their subgenders, for different reasons though. Sy was not originally from this world and subgenders in general mess him up. Sj has his whole past. while binghe doesn't know the details of why they struggle with normal omega urges, he accepts them easil

Due to this, binghe is very careful when handling anything related to their omeganess. It sometimes very hard for him. Like, when he's watching shen yuan fidget restlessly and ,thinking no one's watching, he'll bring something that carries Binghe's scent to his nose and relaxes. or, knowing that his missing inner robe means that shen jiu is curled up somewhere, using them as a nest. still, as the great alpha he is, he will give them the space that they ask for. its no bother to love them from afar. he's been doing it for so long after all.

what does bother him is how easily shang qinghua brings out that area of them. shen yuan and shang qinghua have some weird connection. so while seeing the omega bring some of sqh's clothes for nesting materials, isn't the best, it's understandable. but shen jiu? shen jiu, who binghe struggled to win over, who binghe sometimes still worries will leave him. why does shen jiu soften so easily around sqh? he even lets his scent roam free around the beta, something he doesn't do with almost anyone else.

it leaves lbh feeling sulky and wanting to lock his omegas up, somewhere far away from others. the only upside was that whenever sqh's visits end, his mates always cozy up to him in an easier manner.

shen yuan likes seeing a pouty lou binghe ( though he'd never admit it). so while he doesn't put 2 and 2 together to why lbh is sad, he can't resist a sad lbh. shen jiu dislikes seeing either of them sad, so he dotes on lbh when he's clearly down.

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I saw some youtube shorts and thought of something maybe funny

Red Hood looking into a camera: I have an assistant, and even though our contract includes multiple places for her to choose to live in, she refuses to move out of her place in one of the worst neighborhoods in Gotham.

Jazz snickering behind the camera: Why would I give up a 5 minute walk commute.

Jason: That's why you won't move!

*camera scene changes to Wolf in front of the camera*

Wolf: I have a boss, and even though I have multiple years of combat training, he has to be the first one to check out any weird noises downstairs.

Jason: yeah thats not changing

*camera switch*

Jason: I have an assistant. She once asked if I'd ever fire her. I can't because my men will leave with her.

Jazz: the goons dont like me that much

Jason: Oh, there will be mutiny if I ever do something that would cause you to quit.

*camera switch*

Wolf: I have a boss. Of course, he hides his guns and ammo everywhere. *pulls out a gun and magazine from a hidden wall cubbie*

Jason: There's a cubby there? I've been looking for that gun!!!

(LMFAO WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE I LOVE IT)

Red Hood: I have an assistant, so of course my entire empire of crime is under her rule.

Wolf: Aww, you can be my assistant when I take over!

Red Hood: Really?

Wolf: No. You're too bossy.

Red Hood: Hello? Have you ever met yourself?

————

Wolf: I have a boss, so of course he comes into my office whenever he wants to, even tho I'm busy.

Red Hood: I gave you those reports. Don't make me take away your assignments!

Wolf: *laughing* No! Please! Don't take away my paperwork!

————

Red Hood: I have an assistant, so of course she organizes everything in my office according to her own system that I can never figure out.

Wolf: Yeah, it makes you more dependent on me.

Red Hood: You’re on thin ice, Princess.

————

Wolf: I have a boss, so of course he pays for anything I look at, even when I tell him not to use our company savings for books and pastries.

Red Hood: It's cute that you call it a company. Anyways, if our empire starts sinking, I can just be your sugar baby.

Wolf: Hmm... not sure if I'd still follow you if you were a gigolo, Hood.

Red Hood: *gasp* Hey! Where's the loyalty?!

Meanwhile the comments:

[FLIRTING?? ON MY CELLULAR DEVICE??]

[The literal Red Hood, crime lord who killed over hundreds of people, and Wolf, his assistant who is infamous for beating up the Joker on national television, are following an internet trend??? Where am I?? Who am I?? Why am i?? And where is the patreon for me to get more videos??]

[Remember guys

Red Hood and Wolf: 🫂

You, the viewers: 👤]

[Both. Raw. Until Crime Alley becomes Park Row again. Next question.]

[Why does nobody gaf about a LITERAL CRIME LORD AND HIS ASSISTANT ON OUR FYP???!??]

[Omg I'd rat out these two to Batman so fast just to get them to stop flirting]

[The worst part is being someone from Crime Alley and knowing that these two aren't even dating, they're literally Just Like That.]

[.... I need to call Danny and Dan asap.]

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i’m evolved i think pda is actually a good and fine thing even when straight people do it but especially when gay people do. it’s nice to see love in public don’t be a hater grab a loved one and smooch them in line for your pretzel bites or something

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mdzs headcanon of the day #507 !

sizhui is an avid animal crossing enthusiast

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So, I was hoping to make another work for the new year, but I couldn`t make it in time, so I finished this one. This one was my gestalt actually, but went really hard, so i rendered it just enough to be presentable well anyway happy new year

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

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nobody on this site is ever ever EVER going to top running a blog dedicated entirely to posting cute pics of sweet old dogs in a shelter for a year and gradually becoming one of the most recognized blogs on the website, then without warning dropping “i just want to get dicked down again =/” with 0 explanation and abandoning the blog. not deleting it, not explaining anything, just leaving the whole thing as a monument. fucking flawless posting. literally the best of all time.

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The MDZS extras ruined me. I can’t see Bichen the same again guys. I know where that sword has been.

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penis dashboard kind of night

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The last Danmei every day in this year *_*

I finish it with wedding XDD

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Someone sent me this