l1v1ngd34dth1ng

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

"vapes help people stop smoking" I had mt first cigarette as a wee child but didnt "smoke" until after I had started vaping. its seriously all context. vapes helped a 47 yr old I knew quit but got me and 12 known fellow teens addicted. im not a teen anymore and im still trying to convince myself to quit. I dont care about dying. none of us care about dying. thats the problem with starting. its already "too late anyway"

It’s so infuriating that teen smoking rates were at an all time low in the US and we were on track to basically eradicate smoking and nicotine addiction in teens like it was flat out uncool to smoke and then They came out with nicotine injector flash drives that light up and taste like cotton candy. And have lead in them.

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

idk where it would stand on the tier of genderfluid experiences but it is definitely one of them when people use any and all gendered slurs for you yet no one is comfortable when I say any of the ones used against me. trigger warning: tranny dyke faggot queer heshe priss pansy fairy bitch cunt bastard whore slut girlyboy lesbo

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

maybe i like my tech a little bit inconvenient

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

no doc i swear I tried putting the phone down but the first thing my brain said after was "Albanian wife swap" this doesnt help me sleep

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

do people forget that spoiled children can have mental issues too? like, thats still a form of abuse? anything that doesnt allow a person to develop properly is an influence. people got wild ass issues man

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

i really think more people need to learn about their family history cuz I promise your immigration likely doesnt go back too far

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

I think sometimes people dont know to live beyond their sickness instead of feeding it.

this isnt about chronic illness or anything. just the weird obsession I see with being sick. coming from someone who's mom is obsessed with keeping me sick. my therapist brought up gypsy rose today. mom doesnt medicate me anymore but she does reiterate that I cant function on my own, that there is something in me causing all my struggle, that she is the one with the answers who can help tame the uncontrollable evil within me, that i was born sick and will always struggle and be sick. told me I was possessed. psychotic. schizophrenic. sick. evil. dirty. wrong. dangerous.

I was undiagnosed autistic.

I am not sick, and I didn't deserve to be made sick. I deserved to breathe, eat, and live properly, not hide in a basement "malformed" and "evil".

you guys deserved better, too.

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

rare system L - not realizing this dude is the same guy with his shades off

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

I just think its funny when Republicans have outlaw aesthetics

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

sometimes God lets your dreams happen to someone you love first so you can see that its safe so when it finally happens to you, you dont run from it

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

im not saying you should marry a man because he remembered your favorite color after mentioning it ONCE but I will

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

heard the line "mistaking the bandage for the wound" today and honestly thats how I feel about my plurality when dealing with more doctors

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

im lowkey getting wildly excited for the next blog overhaul because you guys have no idea what ive been doing the past weeks. I am a motherfucking goddess

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

Hunter, sitting on the porch with a cig: Damn. This system shit easy

Callie and Bellwether, walking inside, disheveled: ye p... .

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

having little alters isnt always baby talk and rattlesnakes. sometimes its waking up with half a stale cookie in your bed and not knowing how long its been there

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

when I started this account I didnt want anything to do with syscourse cause it sucks but i just keep dealing with bullshit situations and having shit to say about it.

[ tw / ritual abuse , death ]

anyway I think sysmeds or just heavily defensive people in general need to realize they're yelling at the people they say they're defending.

"that kind of thing can be really triggering for victims of RAMCOA" oh im sorry dude I didnt realize we weren't allowed to joke about our trauma. you can? but I cant? its my trauma, dawg. it wasn't even a major joke. just an attempt to break down the programming. I dont think any of you understand just how little free will ritual abuse survivors actually have even when the war is done. because its not. its never done. my own body wont let me speak on anything about it indepth, I cant do any except make comments like "I cant tell if that's real, tho, or just the Program" and if people like you, screaming and crying about how that could be triggering people, are too busy taking priority instead of understanding the reality of ritual abuse (I dont like the word RAMCOA), then people like me will never be safe.

and stop saying RAMCOA to me. that word is seeped in medical abuse to me. some of yall really get off on stepping over the mfs you pride yourselves on supporting, huh? why do I have to use words like "abuse" in order for you to take someone other than yourself seriously? I understand that no one is taking you seriously, either, but it sucks for both of us. you're acting like crabs in a bucket, and i know i can only blame you so much, but you dont get to blame me, either.

take people seriously. sometimes we're just using proper punctuation and exclamation points because we dont want YOU to feel like shit. because we dont want YOU to feel like someone is being aggressive out of nowhere. because we try to convey tone in text to an extent and YOU are failing. it is not because we are happy. smiley faces are for happy. just because YOU are an asshole does not mean EVERYONE needs to be.

stand in front of me and say that shit. i guarantee I cant fight the program then. and I was raised military. come, little one. a face full of lead might set you on a straighter path

[l1v1ngd34dth1ng]

all im saying is people with homicidal thoughts who actually like those thoughts are probably only like that because there's literally no other predators around and they'd truthfully be the top hunters of our tribes/packs. we need folks like them, but with the cities we've built around us, we're just doing them more harm. we need more for ourselves as a whole