kyu-kyu-nya

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For once I would like to see an action movie where half way through it the hero dies and we get to see what the villain does when he conquers the world.

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do you ever catch yourself thinking of something so weird and fucked up that you have to stop mid-thought and your face is

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Dangerous Dogs Behind “Beware Of Dog” Signs.

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“I had a mini heart attack when I saw this. Spotted in NYC today.” posted by reddit user slothhprincess

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Sorry

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When the sun hits the pelican’s beak at the right angle, you can see inside of it. 

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why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”

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Me: we got like 2 months of 2016 left what else could possibly be taken from us

2016: Vine is dead. Also fuck you

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You are witnessing the artwork of a vine

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You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.

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things ive heard people say in class:

“what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”

“is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 

“let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*

in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”

“what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”

“in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”

“did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”

“wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??”

*scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 

“i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”

in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”

“don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.

“i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”

“fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”

in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i��m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”

“i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”

“i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”

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shout out to the followers that aren’t porn bots

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god this embodiment of white feminism is so vile she should be banned from the human race

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We ordered lube and rubbers online and because we spent more than $20 they sent us a free (too-big-to-use) dildo. So…