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Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if anyone would even cry if I die.

Feeling insignificant.

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Questionable Quest for Autonomy

(I wrote this editorial article last year as a requirement for our writing for print class)

For the past three years, the Bicol Autonomy Movement led by former Volunteers Against Crime and Corruption (VACC) president and founding chair Dante Jimenez, have been actively pushing for the autonomy of the Bicol region from national governance. The movement, in general, aims to follow the footsteps of our fellow brothers in the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) and its independence from the Philippine government. Formally launched in December 8, 2009, the group drafted a charter for the movement formulated by coordinators coming from the six provinces of the region.

                The charter of the BAM basically has six components: fiscal autonomy, strong anti-dynasty provisions, strong anti-corruption conditions, more effective and efficient justice system, principle of territoriality, and a more adoptive educational framework. Actively moving all over Bicol bawling woes of injustice and exploitation of Bicol by the imperialist Manila, BAM draws more and more support from the Bicolano masses. Offhand, we salute the efforts and the dedication of the movement in aiming for a better government that would have solved long unsolved issues of mistreatment of the region’s own resources. But we for one believe that the charter of the movement is flawed, and needs further review and consideration.

                First, the charters plea for fiscal autonomy and territoriality: article XI of the BAM charter generally wants the local and regional government to retain a major part of our region’s tax revenue. According to the charter, the Bicol Autonomous Region Government would retain 80% of the region’s total tax revenue while only 20% would be remitted to the national government. Also, the principle of territoriality will be carried out by giving the Regional Autonomous Government the power to control, regulate and supervise the exploitation, utilization and development of the national resources within the Bicol autonomous territory. In line with this, the new regional government would have administrative powers over local departments and services such as education and health.

                Obviously, this is in line with the idea that regional patrimony should come first than national patrimony and the movement’s answer to the long-living and popular belief that we are being “deprived” of our own resources for the benefit of the capital city.  However, we find it questionable if the control of the 80% tax revenue would be enough to sustain an autonomous region. In a data released by the Department of Budget and Management in 2009 alone, Bicol got a total funding allocation of 35 billion pesos and 19 billion of which goes to regional offices of various departments, including the pork barrel of politicians. According to BIR, however, Bicol is only responsible for 0.53% of the country’s total annual tax revenue which is a gaping 1.5 billion pesos. Now how would that be able to improve or at least sustain the same services offered by the current government?

                The same dilemma would apply for their argument on territoriality. Do we have the capability (or the funds) to regulate and supervise the exploitation, utilization and development of the national resources with the Bicol autonomous territory? We can hardly tell.

                Also, BAM’s idea of replicating the independence of ARMM as an answer to the region’s surging poverty rate is very dubious. We find it rather ironic that BAM woes about Bicol being the 4th poorest region in the country (and apparently is undeserving of the title) and simultaneously push for copying the very system of the poorest region in the country, with a 45.4% poverty incidence rate which is already twice the national average. Perhaps BAM has overlooked that despite its autonomy, 98% of ARMM’s operating revenue actually comes from the national government. On another note, how would BAM sustain the services of local departments that were previously controlled and funded by the national government? Take for example, the services offered by the regional offices of the Overseas Workers Welfare Administration and the Department of Labor and Employment. Wouldn’t the functions of these departments be a redundancy in a system of regional autonomy that exercises the same powers and jurisdictions? If the new autonomous government wants to claim all their previous powers and duties anyway, wouldn’t these departments be better off replaced by locally-based departments since “separating” them and their functions from the national government would obviously only mean the same thing, and perhaps even worse? These have not been clarified in the charter of BAM.

                Apart from its advocacy for independence, BAM is also notorious for advocating against political dynasties. In its charter, the Bicol Autonomous Government will have provisions that would not allow spouses and relatives up to fourth degree of affinity and consanguinity of the incumbent government officials to be appointed to the government office. This would mean that all the relatives of government officials from their parents, brothers and sisters and children and all the way to his/her grand nephew and nieces, first cousins, great aunts and uncles, and great-great grandparents wouldn’t be allowed to run for office. BAM has always been blaming these dynasties for poverty, frequently citing how most of the impoverished cities in the country are usually those with deep roots of political dynasties.

                We find this argument not only invalid, but irrational. First, finding the roots of poverty isn’t something that can be done by simply randomly pointing out variables. It requires a lot of studies and attention. BAM has never really been able to produce substantial evidences that poverty is directly attributed to dynasties. It’s like saying, “most gay men come from families without a father-figure or a close father-son relationship, therefore making the lack of father-figure the cause of their homosexuality”. Any knowing statistician would have known that these kinds of arguments are downright unacceptable. Also, one needs only consider the very reason why the Philippine government has never considered such a provision. Even if our constitution has strong provisions against nepotism, that doesn’t apply with political dynasties in respect to the very principle of suffrage and democracy. The people has and should have the right to freely choose their officials regardless of their families or affiliation, and on the same note, they also have the same amount of right to run for office regardless of their family background. Apparently, BAM dwells on the idea that all dynasties are evil in nature. Neglecting the possibility that there might just be politicians from dynasties or there might be some actual dynasties themselves that have a genuine passion to serve passed down through generations of politics in their family. Do we throw in all the seeds, even the good ones, just because there are lots of bad seeds?

                Lastly, we would just like to add how we didn’t find it surprising to see BAMs charter to have strong provisions against corruption and a more efficient and stronger justice system with the notorious Dante Jimenez on its steering wheel, known for his very well-known “disgust” of the country’s Supreme Court and justice system.

                Again, we reiterate that we salute the determination of the people from BAM in pushing the region forward. As how the famous line goes, we’ll give you an “A for effort”. It is after all, paved with good intentions. However, we believe that the charter of the movement still needs further reviewing and improvement. Just like the rest of the Bicolanos, we share the same intentions of eradicating poverty. But we do not believe that an autonomous region is a guarantee towards prosperity. There are lots of other obstacles involved, apart from corruption and political dynasties, such as warlordism in many parts of the region and apathy of the poor and many other Bicolanos. If somehow, and definitely united, we manage to leap past through these challenges, we’ll have a shot at prosperity with or without the charter.

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Teenage Creepers

                If asked to describe the youth today, you’d probably quote Rizal and his “the youth is the hope of the motherland” crap. I beg to differ. Instead, I’d give the credit to the band My Chemical Romance for giving the most straightforward, and perhaps even the most accurate description of the youth in their song teenagers by saying “teenagers scare the living *beep* out of me”.

                I try not to be cynical; I am one of those creepers they are referring to after all. But let’s face it, in that one line out there, My Chemical Romance sucker-punched the truth about how the world full of all-knowing adults actually sees us. We are scary. And I actually think they should be. We’ve given them enough reasons these past few years. But wait! Before you grab your pitch-forks and tweet about my apparent rebellion from the youth sector, let me assure you that I am at your side, if you are one of us that is. If you’re an adult and is reading this, pardon me, I am about to correct your misguided beliefs. And that’s a teenager talking to you. Bam!

                It’s all because of facebook. It has always been because of facebook. And perhaps Iphone, or android and then Vogue. Every now and then we’d hear some “enlightened” adult blaming all these things for what have had become of the youth today. All to reinforce their non-opposable premise, “the youth today is so much worse than when we were THE youth”. Then you’ll hear their never-ending “back-in-my-days” stories about how they didn’t have an internet, cell-phone, and not even wet wipes “back-in-their-days”. Then they tell you how insensitive to noble causes the youth has become, unlike then when the youth led revolutions against corrupt governments. And then they call you that one adjective that gets the annoying shivers from most of us, lazy.

                Let me get one thing straight: the youth today is better than what they think.

                In fact, I find the youth today even more active, sensitive, and even more critical than they’ve ever been. Facebook didn’t kill chivalry among the youth. If it did anything, it gave them a louder voice. It gave everyone a voice. And perhaps this is the very reason why we seem to not hear them. Back in the days, the youth’s existence was hardly felt. So when a group of young people makes a ruckus, they become the talk of the town, and perhaps even make it to history books. It’s all about the uncommonness of the act.

                    But now speaking is anything but rare. Why? Because everybody else talks. The technology today gave the youth the ability to simultaneously and instantly react, engage and act. And so we do. Haven’t anyone even noticed how the words “like, comment and share” have suddenly become as viral as the names Sharon Cuneta and Gabby Concepcion were before? We are not indifferent, we can’t be. We live in a time when it is virtually impossible to not care about the world. Don’t we have more youth running for positions in the government nowadays? Haven’t we been seeing more youth activist? Or at least, haven’t anyone noticed how the youth is the one that has been deciding what the world should talk about like when Amalayer became a national hit in less than a day? But now in this whole new paradigm, the commonness of speaking made it non-special for them, and perhaps even annoying. When the youth today speak, it is taken as just another childish nonsense. The youth is imperfect and innocent, I understand, but their woes are worth hearing anyway.

                  The youth is not lazier today, but I also wouldn’t say that we are more industrious than before. They’re simply incomparable, because the way we define work nowadays is completely different. We are not lazier; we are simply getting tired nowadays without even having to do anything physical. Living in the information age is tiring in itself. Every day we are bombarded with information, sometimes even more than we can process. And you don’t need to be a teenager to know that.

                    Now there, I wouldn’t want to look like some kid ranting about the wretchedness of the world, because it isn’t. I have high respect on all the adults in the world. Why wouldn’t I? I’ve been made by two out of the billion adults out there. I simply want to emphasize a point: the youth are not to be neglected. Let us not forget that majority of the world’s population is filled up by us. I did not say that Rizal’s quote is wrong. We are the hope the world. I simply think that My Chemical Romance’s satirical description of teenagers described better the irony of the youth and its importance: that we are being feared in the most wrong way possible when we should be feared for our numbers, contributions and power.

We are the youth, and we’re awesome just like that.

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Nauuusong Hating Puso

Kaya nga ba ng isang tao magmahal ng dalawa? Posible ba talagang maging pantay ang pagtingin at pag-ibig mo sa dalawang magkaibang tao, sa parehong panahon? Paano nga ba nasusukat ang pagmamahal para masabi mong pantay mong mahal ang dalawa? Sabi nila hindi. Dahil kung mahal mo ang isang tao, di ka magmamahal ng iba. Tama naman di ba? Kung iisipin mo, may punto sila. Kasi ang pagmamahal, sabi nila, kung tunay ay dapat wagas. Pero hindi ba’t para  mo na rin sinabing natinag ang pagmamahal mo sa oras na mahulog ka sa iba? Sa ganitong pagkakataon, tunay ka nga bang nagmamahal o baka naman akala mo lang? Minsan kasi, sa kagustuhan nating magmahal at mahalin, ang simpleng pagkagusto ay pinagkakamalan nating pagmamahal. Masarap kasi eh. Masarap ang yakap, kahit na di ka nakakasiguro kung gaano ito tatagal. Masarap ang may kahawak ang kamay, kahit na di mo alam kung kelan ka nito bibitawan. Masarap makarinig ng mga salitang “mahal kita”, kahit na di mo mapatunayang nang-galing ito sa puso. Tao lang naman kasi tayo, humahabol sa sarap. Pero siguro, mas nakakapagtaka yung mga taong kinaya, kinayang magmahal ng mga taong may iba ring mahal. Yung mga tinatawag nilang martyr, yung iba kabit, o sadyang mga taong di nabibiyayaan ng normal na buhay pag-ibig. Nakakapagtaka at nakakabilib kung saan nila nahuhugot ang lakas para tanggapin ang lahat. Tanggapin yung mga mapanghusgang tingin ng mga tao. Tanggapin yung galit nung tao na kahati mo sa pagmamahal. Tanggapin ang katotohanan na hanggang kalahati ka lang, at pilitin ang iyong sarili na sapat na at masaya ka na sa kalahating pagmamahal na nakukuha mo. Tanggapin ang sakit na nararamdaman mo at sumisira sa sarili mong pagkatao at tanggapin ang katotohanang wala ka din namang magagawa dahil di mo siya kayang iwanan. Sakit di ba? Pero di ko malaman kung dapat kitang hangaan o kaawaan. Maaari mo kasing sabihin na siguro, ito nga yung tunay at matinding pagmamahal na handang tanggapin ang lahat, pero pede mo rin naman kasing sabihin na isa lang tong malaking katangahan. Di ko malaman kung pede nga bang magmahal ng dalawa, di ko pa kasi nararanasan yun. Sino naman ako para manghusga? Pero nasisiguro ko, merong mga taong handang magmahal at makihati, kahit na masakit. Kaya sana, kung kaya naman, mamili ka. Wag mong paasahin ang dalawa. Di ko alam kung yung nagmamahal ng dalawa at minamahal din ng dalawa ay nasasaktan din at nahihirapan, pero sigurado ako na yung dalawang naghahati ay sobrang nahihirapan. Kaya sana, pakawalan mo sila, o kahit isa lang sa kanila. Dahil ang pagmamahal ay isang positibong emosyon. Dapat ito ay nagpapasaya, hindi nagpapahirap. Pero siyempre, dapat parehong ang dalawang nagmamahalan ay maligaya, hindi lamang ang isa. Pakawalan mo sila, dahil alam mong iyon ang tama. Pakawalan mo sila, dahil ikaw lang ang may kaya. Pakawalan mo sila, dahil kung may isa pang bagay akong nasisiguro, yun ay walang patutunguhan ang relasyon na may tatlong kalahok. 

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Forgetful Juan

Well you may have had seen forgetful Lucy from the movie 50 First Dates starring Drew Barrymore who plays the role of Lucy  (duh.) who suffers from a bad case of short term memory lost where she forgets everything that happens in a day on the very next one. Talk about tragic. We are all suckers for amnesia stories, aren't we? But let me tell you about something more tragic. Something that actually matters more than a cheesy love story, yet we all tend to overlook for the very fact that it's true and bitter at the same time. Let me tell you about my country, and our unique case of Collective Amnesia. One day we know something, the next day we don't.

Well first, I'd like to be clear. Everything that I will be writing here are all my opinions. As you can probably see from my previous write-ups (assuming that you actually read them), I may tend to be a bit satirical with the way I write and I usually write to criticize. Well that's because I write to express my emotions. This includes my frustrations, anger and even pain. So if you find any of my articles offending, get the hell out of my blog.

So, back to the article.

Today, I've come across a surprising facebook post(well it's at least surprising for me) that has recently become very viral. Voila!

It's  a post to commemorate the late president, and controversial author of Martial Law, Ferdinand Marcos, who apparently didn't get the appreciation he rightfully deserved. Together with the post, is a list of all his projects and achievements as a president which are "apparently" unsurpassed by his successors. 

This post quickly became viral and generated thousands of shares, likes and comments all over the online dimension. Getting more and more support everyday. 

I say, what the fuck.

Twenty years has passed and now you see the Filipino people commemorating the same person they ousted as if they have forgotten all the bad things they claim to have happened then, and all the hate they had explicitly shown during and after Marcos' regime.

Wasn't it only three years ago when the great Corazon Aquino died, that thousands of people wore yellow ribbons, and raised their hands with the iconic L sign that signifies "Laban" or the fight against Marcos' dictatorship? Heck, the current president undoubtedly won the election because of this. Then they mention the power supply problem. As if forgetting how much they hated Marcos' Bataan Nuclear Powerplant Project that did not only fail, but put the country under debts that up to now, hasn't even been paid yet.

Now, now. I am not arguing whether he(Marcos) does or does not deserve to be commemorated for his deeds. Neither am I defending nor attacking the support this movement is getting. Instead let me point my middle finger on one word: HYPOCRISY.

I wouldn't be so surprised to see the country suddenly commemorating Gloria Macapagal Arroyo twenty years from now, saying how great she was and how she didn't get her due recognition during her president as if forgetting the "EDSA" march they used to be oh so proud of. They did the same for Marcos and Erap (who came in second in the last presidential elections) anyway. And even to President Noynoy who they used to hate for the Hacienda Luisita Massacre.

It's as if the country suffered from a collective case of amnesia. Forgetting everything and moving towards the exact opposite direction. Except, this amnesia happens every now and then. Not only in politics, but in almost everything else.

Like for example, the fellowship of the modern-day messiah Willie Revillame.

Well, we all know of the Ultra Stampede 6 years ago that ultimately killed 73 people and injured more than 400. Who would forget that? It's an epitome of how desperately poor the country has become, Willie Revillame's messiahnistic complex, and the modern day media as a threat to people when managed irresponsibly. But wait! We did forget. Where is Willie now anyway? On a different network and a different variety show  and back to doing his usual shits everyday. And people still love him. You simply don't hate Willie Revillame, YOU DON'T DO THAT TO HIM.

Here are another examples, and lighter ones, to take.

Lady Gaga and her concert! Remember how there was a huge debacle on letting her have her concert here because her songs are apparently inappropriate? But wait, wasn't it only months ago then when we were so damn proud of the filipino kid Maria Aragon, who rose into fame when she started singing Lady Gaga's songs on youtube?

How about Charice Pempengco that everybody loved when she first guested on Ellen and Oprah but hated when she came back in the country. Her fans in the states continued to love her while Filipinos pulled her down with endless issues and criticisms of her hair, her voice, her actions, her bla bla bla and bla.  You hated her new hair, but loved the style when koreans wore them. You hated her when she opted for a facial surgery, but adored foreign artists who are practically straight from laboratories. You hate how she talks, but loved Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. You were so proud when she was in Glee, but hated her on X factor Philippines. Anyare?

I am not saying we're hopeless beings. I am a Filipino too after all. And we're only human, and that gives us  the right to be fickle-minded at times. And it's normal, as most would probably say. But I'd say let's not make this right an obligation, for only going on what seems favorable at the moment will get us practically nowhere. Let's stop pulling each other down, and let's stop being hypocrites. Perhaps then, we'd get a better shot at prosperity.

That's as far as I think.

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Twenty

It’s been 20 years. Somehow I’ve convinced myself yesterday that 20th birthdays are nothing special. But then I realized that 20 didn’t have that stereotype-full-and-widely-misunderstood suffix “teen”, and my whole perspective changed. Heck I’m even writing a damn blog about it in the middle of the night with my cellphone with a fucking stubborn keypad. Today, I wave teenage-hood goodbye. They are now just fucking 7 years of my life that will forever stay in memory lanes. I say goodbye to those days of being bullied and lonely. I’ve learned the secret art of making friends and I’ll never meet you again. I say fare thee well to those days of ignorance. I’ve now polished my skills and uses them well. I say bye to those days of innocence. I’ve learned my lessons, and had my fair share of experience, both good and bad. Farewell to those days of confusion. I now know who I am and what I want. Goodbye to those days of being lost. I now know the path and road I ought to follow and take. So long to those days of sadness and broken heart. I’ve stood up again, my feet stronger than before. Goodbye good ol’ teenage years. I am forever grateful of you. Hello, 20s. Be kind to me, please.

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What!? I can't believe I'm 20! I still feel like I'm 15 haha

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Today I came home with a broken heart. I don't even know why. Grow up Dee Kei. You're no kid anymore. What's not yours is not yours. Life is a cheater, it never plays fair. You'll get your turn soon enough. For now, hold on.

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That feeling.

That feeling of disappointment, that you can't even tell why.

That feeling of insecurity that you can't justify.

A tad of anger, a bit of sadness.

That feeling you can't even explain.

But you know you're in no place to complain.

There's no other route but the painful one. 

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Go ahead and ask me, I don't bite... too hard.

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