kurtexists

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my entire body hurts i'm sobbing so bad over this holy shit

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drew this post as a comic because its so fucking funny to me

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this is your captain speaking. do you guys remember 9/11 [escalating clamor of passengers freaking out] woah woah hey hey i was just curious. christ. am i not allowed to make conversation

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NO DAD, air brushing unlicensed images of spongebob smoking weed on to t-shirts and selling them at a boardwalk was YOUR DREAM. i'm going to be a PROJECT MANAGER.

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Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas

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"we don't have girl talk, we have creature talk," my roommate Julia just said while rolling on the floor, "put that on your fucking tumblr, they'll love that shit"

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This is my primary ds9 takeaway

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this is like my most hit tweet of all time

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sometimes a friend comes by to drop something and says "yeah after that i'm off to a puzzle warehouse" and you have no choice but to leave your depression spiral, get dressed, and follow that friend to the middle of nowhere to see the puzzle warehouse

there's two floors.

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some underappreciated vines i haven’t seen in any vine compilation yet i that found way deep in my vines tag

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Seen in a thrift store this weekend

@shiftythrifting

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Okay so I’m an elementary school art teacher right, and I have this really fun game I made a PowerPoint for to teach like, emotions and intent and looking at the whole picture to first grade.

The idea is, when we count down and change slides, kids have to mimic one thing in the painting as best they can, whether it’s animate or inanimate. If there’s nothing in the shot for them to mimic (because I threw some contemporary abstract stuff in), they have to show me how the painting makes them feel. Easy enough, gets them excited to move around and vocal about their feelings regarding art, it’s very chaotic. I can tell pretty fast who’s got the emotional maturity to mimic things in a complex way, and who’s just enough of an abstract thinker to mimic inanimate objects early on in the game...

So the first picture is this:

Napoleon Crossing the Alps. My favorite reactions are usually the kids who pretend to be the freaked-out horse, but 2 memorable occasions were the one where a student immediately scrunched up to be the rock in the foreground, and the one where a pair of girls, without any communication on their parts, decided to be Napoleon riding the horse with one as Napoleon and one as the horse. Basically one of them fully tackled the other apropos of nothing, it was hilarious

I’ll add more if y’all want or if I feel like it lol I have a bunch of stories from this one game