krysavium-blog

[krysavium-blog]

They all decided to go camping.

And Deku got a bit excited. 

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“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, do you like them? I found one last night, and I caught another one today as a companion. Is that sincere enough for you?”

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I miss these kids a lot…

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Goodbye, Touya.

[krysavium-blog]

Hiraeth

(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places in the past.

~•~

You will never realize how important a person is until they had left you already. And the moment you try to hold on to them, they let you go.

~•~

Katsuki knew that the moment he started to hold on, Izuku had already let it go.

~~~~~

Midoriya Izuku had always dreamt to be a hero. To be someone who save others. He wanted to bring justice to the poor and love to the discriminated. He wanted to be their savior.

Yet...

Instead of being the one who will save others, he became the one who needed to be saved. Saved from the insults. Saved from the loneliness. Saved from himself.

Life has never been easy on him.

In the age of two, his father left them with nothing.

In the age of four, he was tested as quirkless.

In the age of five, he was bullied by his old best friend.

In the age of seven, he had no friends.

In the age of ten, he was scolded for trying to save someone.

In the age of fourteen, his favorite hero told him that he couldn't be a hero.

He tried his best to achieve his goals but he was caught up in the thorns planted by the society. He was made fun of, insulted, looked down and hated. Why?! Why was it him? What did he do wrong? All he wanted was to be hero but why is it that people are against him?

He cried and cried. He cried until there's no tears left to cry. He screamed out loud until the his voice went out. He called for help until he was scolded by the world.

Life is so cruel.

"Why don't you swan dive from the roof and wished that you'll a quirk on your next life."

...

Izuku considered the suggestion.

~•~

It was their graduation when Izuku stood on the top of the roof. Bandages warped around his broken body. He was tired. Tired of everything that he suffered. What's the point? He had already lost his will to survive.

It was already in the afternoon and the graduation ceremony had just ended. Students were scattered at the gate of the campus, talking to friends and congratulating each other. How he wished to be just like them. To be normal but he was not normal. He was different.

He looked at the beautiful flowers that bloomed into the world. How he wished to be as beautiful as them. To be lovely but he wss not pretty. He was an ugly weed.

He looked at the sky and stared at the birds that sung gracefully. How he wished to be as talented as them. To be able to show a skill but he was not skillful enough. He was useless.

Closing his eyes, he remembered his life. He wished to have happy memories but he never had one. He could only remember the sad ones.

He really lived a pitiful life.

Izuku wished to have at least one reason to lived but except for his mother, he had nothing. He was a waste of space. He had no contribution to the world, all he did was being a worthless being always admiring and always being unwanted.

After a deep breath, he screamed "I wished to live happy in my next life!"

Taking a step forward, he fell. With people witnessing his action.

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

But before he could even hit the ground, someone saved his sorry excuse of a body.

~•~

Bakugou Katsuki was gifted with a wealthy family and a powerful quirk. He was beloved by others that he became confident of himself. He see himself above everyone else. He see himself as the king. He was too focus on himself that he forgot his old bestfriend. He forgot the promises he made with him.

Instead, he bullied his old friend.

For years, he never stopped his discrimination against the boy. He kept on doing it until he broke him apart.

Katsuki had became someone he doesn't want to be. Instead of being a hero that saves people, he became the villains that antagonizing others.

The worst thing is that, he never realized this not until it happened.

"I wished to live happy in my next life!"

He saw his old best friend fall in front of him. He was scared yet nonetheless, used his quirk to caught him. He was looking for answers why would the boy do that. Why would Izuku kill himself but then he remembered.

Was it not him who said those words? To jump and wish to have quirk on the next life.

He suddenly feel disgusted of himself. Why did he do that? Why in the world did he do that? When did he started to changed? When did he became evil?

When did it all go wrong?

He was supposed to protect him. He was supposed to be his hero. But the past is the past. His actions had already been done. All he could do was to apologize.

Do he even have the right to apologize?

He could only wait. Wait for the right time.

~•~

Its been a month since Izuku's suicide attempt and has been confined in his room ever since. His mother was devasted when she heard about the news. She never expected that his son that shines brighter than the sun would try to end his life.

His eyes that reflects hope was now dull as if there's no life in it. His smile that could be compared to gold was nowhere to be seen.

He was just like a robot, unable to feel anything.

How did he became like this?

"Auntie Inko..."

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by a voice she heard for years.

"Katsuki, don't worry about Izuku. He'll be fine for sure."

She tried to lighten up the mode which made Katsuki more guilty.

"No- Its not about that.... I have a confession to made."

Inko was confused. What confession?

"Auntie.. The reason why De- Izuku attempt to suicide was because of me..."

What? What does he mean?

"I have been bullying Izuku since our childhood days."

Say what? Inko never knew about this, rather, Izuku never told her about this. She actually never knew what Izuku had suffered all these years. The boy whom she thought as her son's friend was actually the reason why all of this happened. Just how an airhead is she?

"You?..... You did this to my Izuku?"

Tears started to flow from her eyes as she cried.

"Why? Why did you do it?"

Katsuki felt helpless at the situation. He only looked down and whispered.

"I'm sorry. Auntie, I'm sorry."

Inko closed her eyes in anger, trying to stop the tears from falling. She put a hand on Katsuki's chest and push him away.

"Just go."

The boy could only stare at her and nod.

"And never let me see your face ever again."

Katsuki was horrified at her words but what can he do? He did this.

He turned away and left.

~•~

Todoroki Shouto was the fourth child of the Pro Hero Endeavor. He was the child who had both quirks of his parents. Others may see it as blessing but he sees it as a curse. To have both means to be the perfect child his father had always wanted.

He had always hated his father. For forcing him to be perfect. For abusing his family. For scaring his mother until she went crazy.

But she was not crazy at all.

He touched his scar at the upper left part of his face. He could still remember the fear he saw at the face of his parent. How scared she was of his other side.

He sighed before grabbing the doorknob and entered. He expected his mother to be there, sitting in the bed but to his surprised, it was another patient.

The patient was a young boy with green curly hair. Freckles scattered on his face like stars and his skin looked so soft. He was beautiful but his eyes..... his eyes looked so dead.

Shouto just stared at the boy when a voice wake him up.

"Excuse me, you are?"

He was flustered and looked down.

"Oh sorry. I'm Todoroki Shouto."

He apologized but the other only chuckled softly.

"Its fine. My name is Midoriya Izuku."

Izuku replied.

Shouto explained why he was there for his mother and how he accidentally went to this room instead.

They were so focus at the conversation when Inko arrived all of a sudden. Shouto was startled before going out to visit his mother.

"Shouto, what are you thinking about? You have a big smile in your face." his mother asked, shocked at how her youngest son expressed such expression.

"Its nothing, mother. I just met someone."

~•~

Katsuki held on the notebook tightly. It was not just a normal notebook but the notebook that he burned. It was Izuku's.

Sighing at his actions, he went to the hospital. He heard from his mother that Inko was not around today since she will be doing an overnight work.

Its not that he did not respect the woman but he just can't stand there and do nothing. It was his fault after all. Even an apology could do.

Looking at the door, he raised his hand to knock but then he heard some voices inside. One was talking and one was laughing. Curious, he took a peek inside and it broke his heart.

Izuku was finally laughing... But it was not with him. It was with another boy with a dual hair color. He could feel the happiness that his old friend expressed. He could also see the love in the eyes of the stranger.

The heck?!

Katsuki crumpled the notebook in anger before realizing that he don't have the right to feel this way.

No matter how jealous he is, he can't ruin the joy of Izuku.

Not again.

He closed the door quietly before walking away.

How he wished to return to the start. To change his ways. To be the hero he had always wanted to be.

He wanted to hold on the promises they both made before. But he knew.

Katsuki knew that the moment he started to hold on, Izuku already had let it go.

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