krohft

[krohft]

PORTAL 2 PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 2011 video game, adjust as necessary

when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! make life take the lemons back! get mad! i don't want your damn lemons!

best case scenario, you might get some superpowers. worst case, some tumors.

science isn't about why. it's about why not.

the next test is very dangerous.

before the wright brothers invented the airplane, anyone wanting to fly everywhere was required to eat 200 pounds of helium.

to help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three... two... one.

please disregard any undeserved compliments.

all right, i've been thinking.

what am i supposed to do with these?

do you know who i am?

oh, i like this guy.

he says what we're all thinking.

you can head on back to your desk.

well, this is the part where he kills us.

hello. this is the part where i kill you.

i know you.

no! i'm not listening! i'm not listening!

you're lying!

you're not just a regular moron. you were designed to be a moron.

i am not! a moron!

now who's a moron?

could a moron do that?

i can't see it though. maybe it fell off.

do you want to go and have a quick look?

are you alive? that's important. should have asked that first.

i'm going to work on the assumption that you're still alive.

i'm just going to wait for you up ahead.

i'll wait one hour.

brilliant! go team!

i think we can put our differences behind us.

hi. so. how are you holding up?

good, that's still working.

here are the test results.

you are a horrible person.

i'm serious. that's what it says.

we weren't even testing for that.

don't be alarmed, all right?

good work getting this far.

i wish i could take it all back. i honestly do.

i'm in space.

if i were ever to see her again, do you know what i'd say? i'd say "i'm sorry." sincerely.

i am sorry. i was bossy and monstrous... and i'm genuinely sorry.

you made it through! well done!

okay, follow me. we've still got work to do.

what's happening?

okay... don't move.

so i've got an idea, but it is bloody dangerous. here we go.

they told me that if i ever turned this flashlight on, i would die.

they told me that about everything.

i don't even know why they bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me to use it.

look at you, soaring through the air like an eagle.

i'm different!

prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. he was cast to the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds.

it won't be enough. the answer lies beneath us.

oh, it's dark down here, isn't it?

i'm proud of you.

now we are a family again.

that last test was seriously disappointing.

just work with me.

some of my best friends are actually orphans.

you look ugly in that jumpsuit.

that's not my opinion.

i'll be honest. we're throwing science at the wall here to see what sticks.

no idea what it'll do.

i knew someone was alive in here!

you'll know when the test starts.

oh thank god you're all right.

i thought you were my greatest enemy, when all along you were my best friend.

the best solution to a problem is usually the easiest one.

i'll be honest. killing you? is hard.

i had a pretty good life. and then you showed up.

you know what? you win. just go.

it's been fun. don't come back.

this sentence is false.

to be honest, i might have heard that one before.

you know, i'm not stupid.

i realize you don't want to put me back in charge.

i'm being serious. i think there's something really wrong with me.

we should get our stories straight.

no, we're not stopping!

don't make eye contact, whatever you do.

i feel awful about that surprise.

oh, that's sad. but impressive.

we're running out of time.

you've probably figured it out by now, but i don't need you anymore.

i'm afraid you're about to become the immediate past president of the being alive club.

the square root of rope is string.

okay, what you're doing there is jumping.

you know what? that's close enough.

you saved my bacon.

is this a jailbreak?

the next test is very dangerous.

it's been a long time. how have you been?

i've been really busy being dead. you know, after you murdered me.

you out having yourself a little adventure?

no, don't get up. i'll be right back.

you're unqualified!

what if this hurts? what if it really hurts? oh, i didn't think about that.

get your hands off me!

i can't see a thing! what just happened?

i don't have any bullets.

did you feel that?

you were busy back there.

that's funny. i don't feel corrupt.

i've got an idea! do what it says!

look how small you are down there!

do you have any idea how good this feels?

sorry, fellas. she's married. to science.

let me answer those questions with a question. who wants to make sixty dollars?

yes, all right, okay, this is getting tiresome.

well done. good. aren't you little miss clever. little miss smashy smash.

does it actually make you feel good when you do that?

it's not impressive.

what is this, like a hobby for you now?

i'm beginning to actually take it personally.

it's like an insult to me.

oh, there goes another one.

it's vandalism! it's pure vandalism!

it's just us talking like regular people.

are you going to open this door?

where'd you go? come back!

[krohft]

im aware this is an insane thing to say but i fucking. love characters that are just cockroaches. and i dont mean like. gross i mean they just do not fucking die. they can survive anything. they will outlive EVERYONE because they just will not die no matter what be it because they have a reason or because they literally cannot stop surviving the odds i love it i love it

[krohft]

Adria Arjona by Kevin Berru.

[krohft]

god forbid a girl be a little controversial in her lifetime

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            ❨ @vairuler asked : ❩ ❝ what's the matter ? little plan didn't work ? ❞

Lara twisted , wincing at the instant scream of a thousand unhappy muscles . There was blood dripping down her chin —coming from her nose or brow , she couldn’t quite say— and a bruise blooming on her right forearm . The air was still thick with the smell of honeysuckle and gunpowder , but she was missing her firearm ; though she supposed calling it hers might have been a bit of a stretch to begin with . Perhaps one of the Trinity goons had simply re - claimed their colleague’s old gun .

❝ There was no plan , ❞ Lara grumbled , resting her weight fully on her forearms . The bruise stung , but not quite enough to do anything about it . Or maybe some acrid , vain part of her simply didn’t want to show weakness in front of Gallilea . ❝ I’m fine . ❞

That was a stretch by any measure , but she wasn’t entirely willing to argue semantics with her subconscious . Trinity was obviously long gone — all she remembered was their hasty retreat , and Rourke’s gun connecting with her temporal bone . ❝ I wasn’t out that long , was I ? ❞

[krohft]

↪   ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 .    (  a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  season  1  of fox's sitcom ,  “ the mick ” .   adjust  phrasing  as  necessary . will be updated !  )

oh my god , why do you have gasoline ?!

we're fine , not that it's any of your concern .

stay out of trouble .

no , you're not coming in with me .

you're embarrassing . you embarrass me . i'm embarrassed of you .

can i bum a smoke , please ?

it's okay , i already have a dollar .

i get the sense that you're in need a lot .

i don't have a problem . you do , otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation .

what do you mean ? you invited me .

i got into yale , that doesn't mean i'm going .

the scales of justice tip in favor of the wealthy .

if we throw enough money at this thing , i'm sure it'll go away .

let's catch up in ten years when you need another loan .

i feel like we got off on the wrong foot .

i want you to come to me with boy problems . or girl problems , i don't assume .

i know you think you're pretty clever with this plan to drink me under the table , but there's two problems ... you're not , .. & you can't .

she's not dead , i can see her breathing .

i cannot count the number of times i've been ripped off a barstool & thrown in a cage .

i should probably get out of the house , yesterday kinda got away from me .

i don't like these people . but i like you .

why are we at a poor person's restaurant ?

don't touch my stuff , psycho .

no , i don't believe you . you're lying .

uh , i don't know , maybe because you're a lying bitch .

okay , look , i understand this stuff is really hard to hear .

let's just keep our voices down , okay ?

you think i care about these idiots ?

what is wrong with you ? you're making a scene .

how's that for a scene ?! dinner & a show !

i know what you're up to , & you're not gonna get away with it .

i'm sorry , you think you're in charge ?

once all this is gone , all that's left is this . & nobody wants just this .

wait , wait , wait ! i'm coming with you !

i will only go if i have your blessing .

if you need anything at all , do not hesitate to call 911 .

[ name ] , my beautiful angel !

i heard about that little accident you had .

so , this is it ! home sweet home .

holy crap , you're alive ...

what are you doing here ? are you living at my place ?

okay , i'm sensing some major hostility here .

i thought you were dead !

don't pay attention to him , he's no one .

— i'm just kidding ! oh , i'm so sorry , your face ...

no ... you're joking — this is a joke , right ?

i'm gonna go freshen up , this'll be fun !

my legs are heavy , but my mind is light ...

wait , why is my window open ?

do i look like i'm playing games ?

we both burnt that bridge , it doesn't matter who lit the match .

i need you to do me a favor , i did you a favor .

oh , thank god you're here . you've gotta help us .

oh , i'm not going anywhere .

what do you want me to do about it ?

knock - knock ... can i come in ?

oh ... i get it . you're jealous .

enough with the guessing games , i'm freaking out over here .

fine . i'll fix this myself .

i thought we agreed i'm the boss ?!

if you saw my silence as agreeing with you , that's on you .

don't take it personally , his heart just isn't for sale .

not now , [ name ] , i'm gloating .

[ name ] ?! since when do you smoke ?

HEY .. !! [ name ] . just the person i wanted to see .

i haven't gone this long without a smoke in years .

either be part of the solution or get the hell out .

well , now i feel like you're lying .

regardless of how we got here , i'm having a really good time .

is it ? is it creepy to be ahead of everybody at all times ?

i want to squeeze you around your neck until you can't breathe .

i said that forever ago when i was young and dumb .

if i were you , i would take this opportunity to lay low .

that's the opposite of what i just suggested .

[ name ] , you've been overruled .

i don't mean to offend you , you don't fit the [ surname ] brand .

it's already happening , we're becoming socially radioactive .

i'm sorry , that night is a blur of bad pinot and intolerable conversation .

oh , so you're a liar too ?

i was sitting at home , and then i remembered you're not my boss .

what's the matter ? little plan didn't work ?

[krohft]

                                 ❨ @bhaalbie asked : ❩ ❝ you look so tense. ❞

Though she tried to dredge up some semblance of sarcasm , Lara barely managed to meet the other’s eye . She didn’t feel tense , exactly — just perpetually tired . Her heart was still heavy with everything she wouldn’t let herself feel , all the little losses and sacrifices she’d made over the years , and for the first time since Yamatai , there was nothing she could do to distract herself from the bone - deep ache of it all . 

❝ I break everything I touch , ❞ she finally breathed , drawing lines into the sand beside her . The words felt heavy on her tongue even as she forced them out , digging their talons into every little piece of her soul before she could even think to stop them . ❝ Everyone close to me dies . I can’t — … I don’t know why . ❞

It wasn’t Unuratu she thought of , but the dozen - or - so bystanders who’d died for nothing . Alex , who’d tried so hard to impress her ; the small child dangling from the church roof in South America ; the sailors on the Endurance , who’d only known the most basic info about their campaign . All the choices she’d made that had led to their deaths . All the suffering she’d caused . ❝ I’m terrified this is all I’ll ever be . ❞

[krohft]

are you ever looking for someone you used to rp with years ago only to find one (1) of their old blogs but never a current one ? and you search and search but can't find this person you used to have the closest bond with ?

[krohft]

*gritting my teeth* the only way out is through and by god im taking all of you with me

[krohft]

i like this

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[krohft]

[ OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT : INTERVIEW BETWEEN CROFT , LARA AMELIA AND AGENT HOLMES , SIMONE OF INTERPOL ]

SIMONE : Miss Croft , one last question — … exactly how would you describe your relationship with Prof. Werner von Croy ? LARA : Currently ? Strained . SIMONE : I was led to believe you two were quite close . LARA : We were , I suppose . At one point . He was my professor at uni , supervised both my bachelor's and master's theses . Not so much anymore , though . SIMONE : Care to elaborate ?

LARA : He had a permit for an excavation in Guatemala . Since I was already in South America , I joined him there — looking for a distraction , I suppose . He hadn't found anything of value yet , not by his standards at least , and he wasn't entirely opposed to outside help . About three weeks into the dig , he found an underground temple . Something neither of us had seen before … a cultural anomaly , so to speak . He was quick to push on , ignored just about every warning sign along the way … and when he entered the inner sanctum , the entire thing started collapsing . I tried to pull him out in time , but … I had to make a choice . I couldn't save both of us . SIMONE : And he took that personally . LARA : I suppose . He framed me for murder the second he got back to England — stole the Iris off me , too .

SIMONE : I don't remember reading about you going to prison for any length of time . LARA : Because I didn't . I could prove I was on a plane when the murder occurred . All he needed was for me to be in custody for a few hours , so he could grab the Iris I had taken when the temple collapsed . SIMONE : Does he still have it ? LARA : Unfortunately . And there's no telling what he will do with it , now that he's gone underground .

[krohft]

I’m going to go against everything i stand for and post an open starter later

[krohft]

i have to meet my grandfather for dinner , but i will be back to work on some lore later <3 since i cannot bear to include the netflix series into my portrayal i will have to make my own version of unified lara

[krohft]

                                                                                        # K R O H F T .

                  private , selective & independent roleplay blog for crystal dynamics' LARA CROFT .                  canon divergent , nsfw & violent themes apply . ( incompatible with the netflix series . )

                  authored by lena , 28 . phd student in classical archaeology ; hence low activity .

[krohft]

i will try to make a promo