kristylyn

[kristylyn]

[kristylyn]

[kristylyn]

She’s not just gone … my job, my reason, the only thing I knew I couldn’t fall down because she needed me . The void . Silence, depression, sadness, space�� being alone. Rejection … I don’t know how to start over now #grief journal #depression.

[kristylyn]

Well she gone. Exactly one month to the date later … she’s dead . Worst death I’ve ever imagined . She died a little more everyday her voice she fell so many times, saying her knees were giving out. But I think she was forgetting how to walk. Soon after she culdnt hold a cup or feed herself then eat take her meds … she started burning up with fever like 105. Heartrates was 115 she’d been asleep for a week … Her oxygen started dropping her hands started to turn blue and stiff God I miss my mom Fuck you #cancer !Im scared to death of you and I hate you. I know Gods more powerful than you but you just put my Mom in a bottles in less than 2 months ! It’s over life goes on … yeah well it hurts like hell . And I’m always alone #Rockford @Illinois is brutal . Evils everywhere. People are so malicious. I’m drowning in hell .

[kristylyn]

[kristylyn]

My mom is dieing . Within a year she developed cancer and it grew daily into such monsterous size the weight of it collapsed her lung. It’s in her liver kidneys … her abdomen is covered … how . She was fine one year ago had tests … her disease of death was copd . Today she has days . She’s home w her family, she has 4 liters of oxygen left and there’s no more. She has no idea . When we were told I felt her if I was her I’ve broke my neck to stop everyone in their tracks she can’t have her last days knowing the truth . I don’t want my mama to go she’s been by my side my everything my job priority heart for as long as I can remember . She can’t see my tears . All I can do is ask God to hold her feel him forgive her and bring her comfort love forgiveness and Heaven. I’m Jesus name amen