kreisstrife-blog

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yeah so anyone who wants my personal blog in which i'll be staying and permanently leaving xviixiii behind, just shoot me a message. 

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Goodbye xviixiii ~

I came back to xviixiii for a few friends here but i don't want to be on it anymore because as I've stated. I don't feel like I belong or in my sanctuary anymore. 

some memories that made me the happiest in the world. Just so you all know that each and everything you ever did/said to me made an impact and meant a lot to me. Even though some of you have decided not to be my friend anymore, I still have everything you made for me. Anyways, here are a lot of things I have saved over time that I'd like to be the last post on xviixiii. I made this blog for me, but I kept it for all of you. 

Thank you for everything you all ever did for me.  I'll be elsewhere on a very personal blog where I can completely be myself with no judgements or fear that people will leave me if I be myself. I need that a lot~ thank you for understanding and to those of you who were always there and didn't give up on me. you're amazing. My squenix family especially. You all made me very happy. But I'm finally letting go of xviixiii.

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come back my love :(

I don't know. I really do feel lost here now. Like I don't belong. Everyone has their groups and everyone talks to each other and I don't know what to do or say...Then there's people here who I thought were my friends who have talked about me and have ignored my messages,follows ect. Literally gone out of their way to tell my friends they won't follow me because I make personal posts and they're sick of it.

In which case I'll probably lose a follow or more for posting this even. I don't feel like my presence is important. I feel like when I go behind a character, I can just be that character and no one has to be bothered by knowing the real me. Cause when people know the real me, they dislike me for anything I do and leave me or whatever. 

The sad truth is, I make personal posts, but never do I actually sit and complain about anything I've actually been through. In fact! No one knows about ANYTHING I've gone through. They haven't even asked. No one's ever asked once. Yet I get people talking about how I complain so much and it hurts me because I feel like people treat me as in they like my BLOG and edits but I'm not a robot. So I go and hide behind a bitter character like Cloud. So I can just be cold and unemotional and not get judged like I am here.

When I make posts here, no one replies to me or notices me. At least I feel that way. 

I know I have a few people who care about me and I'm thankful but in general on this blog...do I feel at home anymore? No. Unfortunately I'm bitter and that is why I haven't been on here for so long. Everyone is better off without me. So that's how I feel and I was too scared to say anything because people automatically get pissed at me for not being perfect yuna like they want. 

and so i probably won't be back not for a long time at least. i don't know anymore. like i said, you guys are better off. 

this isn't for attention . i'm saying how i actually feel. so there. if you all want to hate me now i get it. most people hate me after i open up and be myself. 

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sorry not replying to messages 

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i hate noels outfit. that is all

Renders for Noel, Serah, and Mog’s DLC outfits.

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"Hey sweetheart. This message was very sweet of you. I’m happy that I have you here to care about me, as I do for you as well. I’ll be your friend come a time if you ever need me you just let me know okay? C: I’m here for you too..."-- This why I am worrying about you and miss you so much Ley. You touched my heart with this post and I truly want you to feel happier and know that people ARE here for you and we do care. I saw from this that you care for me, I hate seeing you so down, I'm here hun

..You're so kind for remembering my words. Thank you. I appreciate that you're here for me. I don't exactly know what to do here, because I don't feel like I belong. It's a difficult feeling to explain. I've put myself into a characters mind in which I can relate to. Much like when I saved myself by emotionally connecting to Cloud Strife.  Only this time, it's a character of mystery because I've yet to figure anything out about myself. Why I've been so upset lately.

I'm rambling on about things that don't make any sense but, basically, when I put my head into a fantasy world that I know isn't real, I feel like I belong. Playing the role of a sad character like I'm doing now on a hidden blog, has given me a place in which I kind of feel like I belong. 

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i dont think they did! i was so used of seeing you on my dash that i immediately noticed you weren't on tumblr much. i just didn't want to bother. i hope you'll be back

Well, thank you for assuring me I mean something to someone here still. Be that as it may, I don't feel at home here right now so I can't promise I'll be back anytime soon. 

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i seriously miss seeing you on my dash. i hope you are ok. :c

Ah thank you. I imagined everyone forgot about me. Seems people have gotten bored of my presence. -shrugs-  

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what they say: i just have to unplug the internet for a few seconds

what i hear: we're turning off life support

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I miss you.

i miss you, as well dear. 

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I miss your posts on my dash Ley. But I hope you're doing okay c:

wow someone noticed i'm not here. thank you . 

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yea well you don't need to be clung onto your lover 24/7 to "go together". snow had shit to do and it was once again, for serah and vanille and fang and lightning. and i'm sick of people being so ignorant to it, treating him like shit for "leaving serah". even though noel doesn't like him, he knows what snow did was something he too would do so seriously give it a rest 

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I'm gonna be honest,

Perhaps it's all the anime I've been watching lately...seeing that one girl who has so many people around her, caring about her and looking out for her. I don't feel like I've ever had that. 

I know it's not much, but I want to be a part of a roleplay group, where no one leaves and actually talks to me. Acknowledges that I'm there. Nowadays, my friends just don't talk to me. (& no danielle / shane this isn't towards you guys in case you're reading) 

 I just do not feel good enough. Like, I have to be that petite, pretty, unique girl for anyone to even take a second glance at me. To care for me, I can't make mistakes. To be honest, I just feel like my presence here is bothersome to everyone. Like, people will talk to me every once in a while, but in reality they don't like me or are annoyed by me. I know it's been true since people have continued dismissing me and saying things behind my back. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but man I just want to fit in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't feel like I belong here anymore. Like I was a phase or something ..maybe. 

I want to be like how Tohru was in the Sohma family, or Haruhi was to the host club. People just to accept me, and make me feel like I belong. But when I reach out and try to ask for help, I very rarely have support. 

I'm living in this fantasy world maybe but, I've been too upset lately so if I'm gone from here suddenly, this was the hint on why. If anyone even notices.