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having a normal one in my family's groupchat rn

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the dynamic minecraft villager in bikinis trio (a story for another time) is back and we brought INFLUENCE

@kokoshnjak @knowncrawlingobject

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The World Map drawn as Pokémon of similar shape

by Karabars

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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i used to read ameteur writing critiques when i was younger (i, foolishly, thought i could just learn what not to do and then id suddenly be good at writing) and anyway since the rise of cinema sins-esque style of critique, one of the main threads is always that the work can't have too many coincidences or sudden revelations that come without foreshadowing. apparently in realism the only things that happen are the things you already think are likely to happen, which is bullshit, in my humble opinion. something nobody tells you about life is how often something just fully comes out of the left field

recently-ish i had an event at work where i had to host this old, big name priest who wrote a book abt how evil commies killed his two uncles for working in the german army during ww2. let that sink in for a moment. he never once utters the word nazi but the implications are looming. anyway, it also just so happened that the weekend before that i was poked and prodded into going on a trip with my father & for the lack of anything to talk about (my father is, unfortunately, like a former roommate to me. every time we speak he has to cycle through every female name in his family before he lands on mine & i keep forgetting his birthday) i ended up talking about work. for reference, i work at a catholic bookshop and its not particularly impressive to anyone irl, not even to me. its the perfect conversation topic when you want someone to leave you alone

but then. then. it casually turned out that my non-religious, no-apparent-inner-life father somehow knows every single big name priest in the country. the nazi nephew guy? yeah he scammed his cousin and stole money from his community, theres a bloodline feud with him. oh the exorcist that keeps publishing books? they also have a feud, he used to run the church in front of my dad's store until he was chased off. that one guy that got banished to germany for throwing a fashion show runway inside a church as a way to gather relief funds? you guessed it, el padre knows him too because he literally bought proof of holy communion from him for himself and my mother so they could have a catholic wedding (for some reason. though neither of them is religious). he also attempted to buy it for my sister and i but alas. the ban has already happened by then. literally where did any of this come from. any person that i mention from work, my father seems to have some kind of either beefy or straight up criminal history with. none of that was ever alluded to whatsoever because until recently i thought his social life boiled down to my mother. in a completely unprecedented turn of events we now have a topic we can discuss & he has even occasionally started calling me to chat which he has never done, ever. i cannot stress how this development happened out of nowhere in my 23th year of life simply bc i made a throwaway rant abt someones nazi uncle, related to a job i got randomly on a whim. so yeah bottom line, critiquing how realistic a plot development is based on some mental math abt how likely it is to happen irl is just dumb. irl is full of things you'd never consider likely to happen and yet.

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I MANAGED TO LOSE MY LOUISE GLUCK POETRY COLLECTION SOMEHOW

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Garlic 2 (Stone sculpture), Mary Eiland

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i was looking on the petfinder app a few days ago and saw a. husky border collie mix. i had 2 seconds of "oh that would be smart" before i was hit in the face with "that would be extremely opinionated and LOUD about it"

That animal would work out how to hotwire a car

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sometimes the tragedy of distance is very simple. i want to get groceries with you

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the front seat of the car is a type of confessional

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No, I know, that's WHY we should build a pyramid in Bosnia. The pyramid of the sun is fake, but if we all work together, there CAN be a real pyramid in Bosnia.

please dont come to bosnia to build anything. we are going through something me and her (her being bosnia)

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It's cold enough tonight that for the first time since April, Arson and Larceny are back in the house. I'm enjoying all their little settling-in noises as they get their nest in order.

Meanwhile, I've opened the aviary proper up for Malice and Vice to access through the catio, and they're out there horking down grass in the dark like a couple of vampiric cows. Nobody tell them they're obligate carnivores.

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i love jon and sam's friendship so much because jon sees this guy getting bullied and immediately went hm i will leverage all my newly earned social status to make everyone be his friend. and then he sent his apex predator megafauna to bite the one guy who didn't immediately agree. and this happened like. the day they met. ride or die fr.