knightofhell-cami

[knightofhell-cami]

[knightofhell-cami]

This is for you

Dear JS,

I have tried to let go of you for so long. I have tried to forget you by getting a haircut and dying my hair a color I know that you hate. I  stopped listening to songs that would remind me of you. I no longer go to that place where we used to sit and talk. I try to avoid you in the halls. I even started talking to someone new. Even after all this effort to move on, I can’t. Every time I look in the mirror I see the new me and I remember that it is because of you that I look like this. I thought enough time has passed and that I could listen to our songs again, but I was wrong. The lyrics and the melody cut me deeper than I imagined and I had to hide the tears, so no one would ask why. Even though I try to avoid you, a part of me hopes to see you. The new guy I’m talking to is sweet and nice. Compared to him you are a blazing flame in a dark world, while he is just a sketch on a white canvas. Today i thought I would try to sit at our place. I saw you on the sidewalk… then at the door. My heart beat faster with each step that brought you closer to me. But you didn’t come to me. Instead you sat on the opposite side of the room. Just for a minute I hoped against all odds that you would sit with me, just like old times. But that is why they are called old times, because they are no more. We are no more. I am writing this to you from our spot. The one that is tucked away in the corner and gives us a view of every one in the room. Remember that day at the skating rink? When we were sitting in my car and we talked about our feelings? That is the day I want to take you back to. I told you that I wouldn’t chase you, but at the same time I wouldn’t give up. That held true for a while. I also told you that at some point I would move on. That point has come. Even though we weren’t dating this has felt like a heart wrenching break up. I had to let go of you because I couldn’t keep hoping that you and I would become something one day. I was drowning on hope. Maybe someday, perhaps when we are old, we will stumble across each other, and start new. For now, it is best that we go our separate ways and figure out who we are. Today I am the one  saying good-bye so that someday you might be the one to say hello.

Love,

JP

[knightofhell-cami]

“Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you get to have them.”

- i have to move on

[knightofhell-cami]

i’m getting ready to update my wardrobe! i just need a

jat

jlasses

jloves

and

jarf

[knightofhell-cami]

Since you’ve been gone there’s this feeling I’ve been trying to replicate but I can’t seem to do so. This feeling in my chest, no, my body. A feeling that overtook me from the slightest touch of your hand. I can touch someone else, kiss them, hold them but for some reason it’s not the same. I think when you left you took something from me or put something in me, I don’t know which but what I do know is that I’m not quite the same…without you

[knightofhell-cami]

I’m sorry I can’t be there to hold you tonight

[knightofhell-cami]

I just wish I knew what happened between us. I seriously cannot figure where I went wrong. We were doing great, our conversations were filled with so much passion and love and now…now you just don’t seem like you feel the way you did for me. You say you’ve had a run in with a few bad people but when have I ever been one of those bad people? We’ve known eachother longer than you’ve known any of them and suddenly you cant open up to me? What did I do!? Our feelings for eachother have always been there even when we were with other people they were dormant but they were still there just waiting to be rekindled. Now a days i feel as if you purposley put your flame out and left me with an uncontrollable wild fire

[knightofhell-cami]

Being with you was the only thought that kept me going throughout my days. There was nothing that made me more happy and fulfilled than putting a smile on your face. I had visions of us being together so happy they’d wipe the blues from the seas. I felt something so strong for you that I felt as if I could turn mountains into plains with my voice. I had a flame in my heart so warm i’d make a forest fire wither and die out in shame of how weak it was compared to mine. There was a time when I thought you felt the same for me…as days go on though…I begin to think you never did. The Thought of Us…What we could be…

[knightofhell-cami]

I don’t even want sex man. I just wanna fucking hold you. Intertwine my fingers with yours. Get lost in conversations with you. I’m tired man i’m fucking tired. Just wanna be able to grab you by your neck and kiss you so hard you don’t know who’s air your breathing

[knightofhell-cami]

“It might seem like you haven’t changed but maybe you should think about how you were before you met her and how you are now. Because while it may not be so obvious to you how much she’s done for you or how much you need her, maybe you’re not as sad anymore. And maybe you’re not in pieces anymore. And maybe you don’t have to listen to that song anymore. And maybe she can tell, but she’d never say it. So maybe you should tell her how much she means to you before she takes it all back.”

[knightofhell-cami]

[knightofhell-cami]

h

Misha Collins | TNdeNoche [08.21.17]

[knightofhell-cami]

Oddly Satisfying

[knightofhell-cami]

[1] they have a week together, uninterrupted. castiel is going to take care of him. reestablish their... profound bond. of course, dean needs cas to take control so bad his chest aches. "dean" he says, in that voice. the one that has dean in that headspace in an instant. "kneel please, baby." dean does. he's already stripped. cas bends down to kiss him sweetly, then stands and undoes his belt. dean knows not to move.

[2] cas undresses only enough to unsheath himself. dean opens his mouth, tongue softly covering his teeth. cas lets out a soft groan at the sight. he fists his cock in his hand and it’s been hard for far too long. he positions the head at dean’s warm, wet mouth. he can tell dean is resisting a powerful urge to move foward and lick the bead of precome dripping out, more with every tiny tug of cas’ hand. “fuck. good boy, dean,” he says softly, like a prayer. 

Keep reading

[knightofhell-cami]

I’ll make it quick for you to know Splashing my feelings is not where I’m the best at I’ve never told you many things that I should

The words are on my lips, it’s time to tell you the truth […]  I think I am the happiest man on earth

[knightofhell-cami]

Hello this is one of the people that said they're a lot of the smut stuff and I have some fluffy smut •Dean crying b/c Cas takes such good care of him •Cas cuddling Dean and making him cookies after some particularly rough sex •times when they think they're gonna have sex but Cas makes a weird squeaky noise when they kiss and Dean is laughing too hard •Thise two having the most open and communicative relationship •Cas being totally onboard with whatever kinks dean has b/c he loves him

yes to all of it, please Can we add the most sweet and tender touches and kisses after rough sex? To the cookies? 

[knightofhell-cami]

Cas pulling hard on Dean’s longer S10 hair until his eyes water while fucking him from behind reblog if u agree.