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Growing Up...

Growing up, I was made to believe a lot of things. That the light on in the backseat was a bigger issue than what it really is. That ripping the band-aid hurt less than slowly pulling (but it still hurts regardless). I was made to believe that science and geometry would be the foundation of everything, but most importantly…I was made to believe that love came easily.

Because movies always have a happy ending, and everyone always finds their yellow umbrella…eventually. I mean, no one ever tells you about your first heartbreak, but they tell you to cherish your first kiss. You’re never told about the first lie that was said by a lover to comfort you, because they were too afraid to hurt you (but it still hurt regardless).

I was made to believe that love was this beautiful thing but everyone somehow managed to leave out the fact that love sometimes stings. And what stings the most isn’t the lying or the heartbreak; it’s not the betrayal or the brokenness that you’re left with. No, what stings the most is that no matter how much I love you, you’ll never love me too.

- Jean-Luc Dumont

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“One never writes alone. As Deleuze and Guattari say, one writing alone is already a crowd. Our words in this book are never without the echoes of the voices of those whose difference we chose to write with. Not to mention the moves, gestures, colors, architectures, and events of the creative practices we encountered. A veritable cacophony. Or better: an ecology.”

— Erin Manning and Brian Massumi, Thought in the Act (via bergmans-ghost)

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“If you feel within you the strength of youth, if you wish to live, if you wish to enjoy a perfect, full and overflowing life — that is, know the highest pleasure which a living being can desire — be strong, be great, be vigorous in all you do.”

— Peter Kropotkin, Anarchist Morality

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It's one of my theories that when people give you advice, they're really just talking to themselves in the past.

— Mark Epstein

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“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?”

— Charles Bukowski (via quotemadness)

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Basilica di San Pietro, Vatican City

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Andrei Tarkovsky: A Poet in the Cinema

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“Ugasi televizor. Budi nedostupna za one koji ti prenose samo loše vesti. Plači. Pevaj. Moli se. Budi uplašena. Smej se do suza. Diši, svesno. Peri ruke. Napravi veliko spremanje. Pomeraj telo, pleši, vežbaj. Napravi opuštajuću kupku. Pusti da ništa nema smisla. Pokušaj da nađeš smisao. Priznaj sebi neke istine. Izvini se onom kome treba. Dopusti sebi da osećaš. Napravi kafu. Ostani u krevetu ceo dan. Izađi u dvorište ili na terasu i izloži lice suncu. Vrišti. Budi kreativna. Pročitaj jedno poglavlje knjige. Napravi jelo koje do sada nikada nisi pravila. Neguj se. Pričaj o lepim stvarima. U međuvremenu, prošlo je.”

— recisumojeigracke

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           “for Vera”

Vladimir Nabokov used to draw butterflies for his wife and love of a lifetime, Véra Slonim.

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“do you realize… i - i would have gone through life half-awake… if you’d had the decency to leave me alone?”

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Ne želim da budem u vezi. One sputavaju. Želim najboljeg prijatelja sa kojim mogu da spavam, vodim ljubav, putujem, kupujem, radujem se, živim… Želim partnera u zločinu, životnog partnera. Nekoga sa kim mogu da se smejem i gradim život. Nekoga kome mogu da poverim svoje srce, novac, život! Nekoga koga se ne plašim izgubiti jer znam da me nikada neće izneveriti. Veze jednostavno nisu za mene, ali partnerstvo, to prihvatam.

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Ippolito Caffi - Solar Eclipse over Venice - 1842