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My marriage has become so boring. There's no affection. There's no passion. There's no romance.
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Only took me to work today because of what I said last night. He always does that. Last time it was because of another arguement we had the night before. He shows he cares once in a while to pacify me. To show his family.
It's our wedding reception anniversary this weekend. He puts everyone else first but me or us. Last time he made an excuse about his mums dad was the day he was meant to come to see my family. His excuse for not going away this weekend is because what if something happens to the dad and he won't be there when he gets cremated. I live two hours away from my mum, what if something happens to her. He doesn't care. Everything revolves around him and his family.
My sister in law is lucky.
She gets to rest and settle in for two months before she gets a job. Me. Ha. Every fucking day being asked if I applied for jobs, being asked by his family, being talked to rudely as I'm jobless. Comments about me being jobless by his family. He didn't care. Couldn't ask for anything extra for him to pay for as I had no money. So he barely gave me enough to buy groceries. He gives me money mostly for his family shopping, I have to always make excuse for it or get them something and he will give it.
I can count on one hand how many clothes he has brought me since we got married. A green hoodie is all I can think of.
He doesn't even trust me with knowing his finance.
Oh and he won't get our marriage legalised because of how on and off we are. Eventhough we're fricking married already. I begged him to many times. I'm done
I'm done with this marriage. I'm out. I'm going to fake it as long as possible. It'll be okay.
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Maybe we're not getting the blessing in our marriage because of zina. Maybe he doesn't get his promotion because he doesn't treat his wife good.
I do everything to be the good daughter in law and sister in law and the good wife, I try my best. I tried cooking, ironing shopping. But still got criticism. Still got treated soo small. Jobless . Honesty hated that period so badly. He made me feel so small, his family did aswell. But I still have sabr. I put effort in. Even when his sister shouted at me or his mum said to get rid of my stuff. I still put effort in. I could be like the second daughter in law and put no effort in but I don't. I should be like her, it'd be so much better. Then they'll see how much of a bitch I can be. How lucky they are to have me
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I married someone who only talked to me because I have a fucking degree. I married someone who hates taking pictures even if its for memories for ourselves for our future selves.
He thought I'm a gold digger
His brothers wife wants a lifestyle and got the lifestyle she wants. And he still loves his wife. He doesn't care if she does anything related to her degree or even works.
My husband doesn't even want to have a baby with me unless I have a job that pays for maternity.
I swear if my sister in law gets pregnant before me, it will break my heart.
Funny how he thought his family would think im a gold digger. His brother wouldn't let anyone say anything about his wife.
His brother brought his mother in law and mother a gold bracelet. My husband doesn't even try with my family. I have to beg him to come to event with me. Like he wouldn't even tell his family that we're going to my families house he's that embarrassed. He wouldn't defend or stick up for me. I married a self centred mummies boy.
I went to a shisha place because of him. Because his cousins pressured me to, I stayed out until 2 o clock which I neber would want to do, I went to a brunch and watched zina being done infront of me like it's normal. His family and him act like th3y know so much about religion but allow zina to happen infront of them and they were okay with it. They let his brother stay out until 12 with a girl.
My husband is so against taking pictures in mosque, even his family. But they were happily clapping and taking pictures for the brothers wedding. I honestly fell out of love with him that day, the day I knew he never truly loved anything about me other than my degree and probably my body and face.
It's getting so easy to lie to him now. It's getting soo natural to fake it with him now. We went out to eat this month alot and he said we can't eat out anymore as we spending to much and then he went out with his friends and his sister took me so he had to pay for me. Also we went brunch, and now this week we're going bowling and he has to pay again, because he's the one who wanted me to go out so he could spend time with his friends. I'm going to make sure to use his money for everything. It's okay to spend his money when someone else says so. Like his friends wedding, he said he doesn't want me to get anything but then when his friend said its a specific color I said I'd have to get something and then he was okay about it. It's like when someone else says it it's okay for him to spend his money on me. Not when I ask him I need this or I'm hungry I want to eat something. He'd jump at the chance if its going out with his friends to eat. I'm getting spoilt to much that's what he'd say
His such a fucking pussy, he doesn't even know how to do foreplay, or turn me on. I'm so good at faking it.
Play the long game, my sister in law played the game so well she got everything so quick. Damn.
I cant wait to get out of here
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I think my marriage is over. I just feel alone. Hurt. Not loved or cared for. Not heard
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I love this man soo much.
I just have to get out of this state. I hate being sad
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I want the long drives, glazing at the stars, watching midnight screening of movies. I want the unexpected gifts and spontaneous dates. I want the love making in the back of car and having kisses in the rain.
I just want that spark in my marriage where we are just two teenagers madly in love
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He kept pictures of his ex on his phone as if he didn't know he had them.
Deep down I know I wasn't his first choice.
If he knew what he knows now I 100% believe he wouldn't ever marry me.
What's done is done.
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My husband is very protective of his phone.
Even if he cheats or whatever he does, I can't ever leave him. I'd be stuck. Don't have anywhere to go and I have no money to live on my own.
Somedays it just feels like a prison.
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Needed my husband to support me today and yesterday. He didn't. I'll always be a disappointment to him
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What scares me the most is that he can kick me and my stuff out just like that. Without even a thought. Without even a care.
Your on the verge of being homeless and the last thing you need is a partner that swears at you, shouts at you and just doesn't care to help you sort things out with the biggest move you'll ever make. You're just soo alone. You're leaving your home and everything behind and bringing the few stuff you own with you and its being rejected by your partner. It's so worthless to them that they can just get rid of it without even caring that you spent so much on it and it's one of your possessions
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First time ever I'm dreading a weekend. Don't want it to be real. Mum keeps crying. I have to be strong. It's always the women who have to make the sacrifice. I never wanted to, I never wanted my daughter to. Now how can I say to her don't ever make a sacrifice if your husband isn't willing to make the same sacrifice.
I always thought my partner would understand that both should compromise and make sacrifice
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From being pampered at home to living on your own is going to be hard. But it's a privilege that I have some place to sleep at home.
Sometimes are have really bad thoughts about the D word, I just feel like if I left I could be with my family forever. I would never have to compromise and choose between the people I love. I'd never leave.
But I forgot my family for the love of my life, he is all I've ever wanted, he is my family, he is my home, he is my husband. And I love him. I chose to love him and spend the rest of my life with him in this world and the next. He deserves everything he prays for, he is so hardworking and selfless and so caring. Any girl would've been so lucky to marry him. And he chose me. Me. He chose to love me.
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