kirensbird

[kirensbird]

His Heart in my Hands

Chapter 6: Red/And Yellow

CW Trauma

“Arlo? ARLO!!!” I howl out.

I ran towards the fallen Arlo. The flames that once engulfed me is replaced by an all too familiar empty cold.

It was my fault. I’m fucking pathetic. It should have been me.

Snow starts falling from the sky covering the ground beneath me. My eyes flicker between the body before me and my blood covered hands.

No. No! NOT AGAIN! PLEASE!

I try to shake his body to try and wake him up.

“Please,” I whisper to myself. “I’m sorry. I-I wasn’t fast enough. It’s all my fault. Just, please. Please wake up.” I shake the body more. It’s cold. So cold. My hands. “I couldn’t protect you. I promised I would, but I couldn’t. I’m sorry, please wake up. Wake up.”

They’re not going to wake up.

Yes he will.

You’re already too late.

No, I can still do something.

The past is already set.

“ELIAS, PLEASE!”

I look down at the body of a young boy. Covered in snow. Cold, like my hands. I-

“Arlo,” I look down at Arlo's body. I put my snout on his neck, feeling for a pulse. His heart is still beating. I take a large sigh of relief. My own heart finally starts to calm down. My vision finally returns to me as I’m finally snapped back to the present.

I take a deep breath.

“Ethan, I need help.” I call out to Ethan’s mind.

“Where are you?” He replies in my mind.

“Deep in the forest. Closer to Arlo’s house.”

“I’m on my way.”

…

I’m curled up next to Arlo’s unconscious body. I can hear his heartbeat and breathing. It is calm and steady and that’s all I can ask for. But I need to get him back home. To his dad.

“Wayne.” I hear Ethan call to me.

“I’m here.” I perk my head up to be easier to see, but I already know he knows exactly where I am.

I see him run over already in his wolf form. He looks down at Arlo. Then I see his nose twitch when he looks toward the other wolf I killed.

“I need help to carry him to Dalmund.” Even though he’s young, since he’s an alpha he’s naturally larger compared to me. He nods and opens his maw and picks up his arm. I help him put Arlo onto his back.

Once Arlo is secured, we start moving back to Arlo’s house. He moves carefully to make sure Arlo isn’t disturbed. I stay close to his side.

We walk by the corpse. It lays there unmoving.

“Rogues?” He asks. Of course he already figures out the situation.

“Ya. They attacked Arlo, I ran to save him. Well, more like help him.” Even as a wolf, I can tell he is curious.

“You telling me, he was putting up a fight with a wolf?”.

“Mhmm, he used some fire magic…” I consider telling him what happened to me, but I’m not even sure if it was real.

“Alright, well in any case, once we get Arlo back I’ll have a search in case there were more rogues.”

“Okay.”

I rather he’d stay, but he’s right.

…

After a while, we arrive at the back of Arlo’s house. It’s the middle of the night so we aren’t surprised there's no lights on. Besides…

“Of course Dan is still up.” Because she would.

“So, what’s the plan?” Ethan asks me.

“Huh?” I tilt my head.

“I mean, how are we gonna get Arlo inside.”

That’s a good question. We can’t use the door. Window maybe, but the only one open is Arlo’s and that’s on the second floor. We also can’t shift back as Dalmund told us he was the only one to know about us…

I got it.

I look up at Dan’s window. Hopefully she doesn’t have her earbuds in.

“DAN!! DANNNN!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAA!!!!” I bark at the window. I run towards the door and start scratching at it. I run around in circles trying to make as much noise as I can. Ethan stands off to the side with an unamused look. “DO YOU HAVE A BETTER IDEA?!!” I snap at him. He rolls his eyes and shortly after starts barking with me.

“What the hell?!” I hear a familiar voice yell out from the window. I turn to see that she’s very confused, scared, and tired. “Arlo?!” Her eyes widen as she sees her brother on top of the large wolf. She runs off.

We move closer to the door waiting to be opened by her. However, I hear more than a single pair of footsteps.

The door swings open revealing Dan and Arlo’s mom to be there. Uh oh.

“What the hell?” She questions what she's even looking at. Her son, who should have been in bed, is unconscious being carried on the back of a wolf. Her heartbeat too is at an alarming rate. He’s gonna be in so much trouble after this.

“I think they’re friendly,” Dan speaks first. “Maybe something to do with their witch stuff. Like familiars or something.” Should I be offended that I'm being compared to a familiar? I look towards Ethan and he gives a look to just play along. I bark in response to Dan’s comment. “Oh, see they understand us too.” I lower my head to try to ease the very panicked looking mother. This seems to have worked.

“If they’re sent from Dalmund it should be fine,” She turns to me and Ethan. “Can you two come in and bring Arlo to the couch?”. I bark once to signal we understood her. I turn to Ethan and he nods.

We follow them deeper into the house until we reach the living room. They help get Arlo off Ethan and put him on the couch. 

“I’m going to call your father. He left earlier for something. Can you get the first aid kit from the kitchen?” She asks before going to another room.

“Pack meeting.” I hear Ethan tell me as Dan leaves us with Arlo.

“What for? Why is my father there?” I ask him.

He just shrugs or at least implies it. If it was actually a pack meeting, wouldn’t me and my mom need to be there too? Even if not us, Ethan at least should be there, being next in line as alpha.

Why do you even care?

“Okay, got the first aid kit,” Dan walks back into the room with a small case in hand. She kneels next to the couch and opens the case on the floor. She examines Arlo’s body, but doesn’t seem to find anything too strange. Just dirty. “Do you guys know if Arlo got any injuries?” She asks the two wolves in her living room. Honestly, not surprised she's taking this so well.

I think for a bit trying to remember what happened. There was one close call, but I grabbed them before they could. Of course there was that small time frame where I wasn’t there.

My legs spring up as I hop on top of Arlo. The sudden movement shocks Dan for a second. Oh, so she’s still freaking out on the inside, good to know.

When we were carrying Arlo back, neither Ethan or I could find any external injuries. Maybe internal, but I highly doubt that to be the case. There’s only one thing that comes to mind on what could be wrong. I move closer towards his face. I can feel him slowly breathing out and sure if he was awake he would feel my hot breath. I tilt my head downwards and close the gap. I place my foreheadon his.

“What the fuck is happening?” Dan says confused but with a slight chuckle. I would probably find this funny too if I were in her shoes.

Ethan makes a low growl hoping no one could hear his jealousy. I could.

I feel the heat of our bodies intermingle, but something is wrong. I lift my head and bark at Dan.

“Huh, what’s wrong?” She asks.

I point to his forehead. She must have gotten the message as she moves towards Arlo and puts the back of her hand on his head.

“Oh shit, he has a fever.” She gets up and heads to the kitchen and fetches a wet cloth to put on his head.

“Your father will be here soon. Did you figure out what’s wrong?” Kora returns and takes a seat next to Arlo.

“I think he passed out from a fever.” She answers.

“What was he doing outside this late with a fever?”

Dan just shrugs causing her mother to sigh. “I’ll go grab a glass of water.”

…

It’s been about 15 minutes.

We waited for Dalmund to return home. Ethan said he’d stay till at least he gets back. I told him it was alright and it would probably be better to investigate before the trail runs cold, but he insisted. We cuddled up on the floor next to the couch. Dan sat next to us while her mother kept checking up on Arlo.

My ears perk up at the rustling of keys outside. The door swings open and Dalmund bursts in looking out of breath. He looks around and his eyes lock with mine. Then he turns to his son on the couch before rushing over.

“Dalmund you have a lot of explaining to do!” Kora scolds him.

“I know, I do, and I will. But first let’s make sure Arlo is ok.” He replaces the wet cloth on Arlo’s head with his hand. “Magic fever.”

Dan perks up at the word magic. “Magic fever? What makes it different from a regular fever?” “It’s caused by an overuse of magic. It’s mostly common in beginner witches, however it can happen to anyone.” He explains. “Some also call it mana sickness. More practiced witches would know their limit to avoid this. Its symptoms are similar to a normal fever and it can be taken care of with the same methods.”

“Can you do anything to cure it?” Kora asks him.

“If this was a regular fever I could probably alter his body temperature, but this is caused by his body speeding up his magic recovery and basically going into overdrive. There’s nothing we can do besides let him rest.” He answers. It doesn’t exactly ease her mind, but she accepts it nonetheless.

“How long will he be like this?” She asks.

“Normally a day, but considering it’s his first time, his body won’t be used to mana sickness and the whiplash of excessive use of magic might take longer for him to recover from.” 

After a moment that looks like contemplation from her, she finally sighs, her shoulders finally resting. “Alright. I’m trusting you with this sweetie.” She walks over to Dan, who looks like she's about to ask a million questions. “C’mon, you still have school tomorrow.” Dan snaps out of her magic infested trance and reluctantly heads back upstairs to her room. “We’ll talk about your dogs in the morning. And just so we’re clear, no we can’t keep them. You know my mother’s deathly allergic to them.” She glares at me and Ethan one more time before heading to bed. Dalmund could only sheepishly nod. Scary.

Dalmand does one more check on Arlo before coming over to me and Ethan who’s been waiting at the side. As per usual, he places a hand on each of our heads to link us to him. “Alright, give me the rundown.” He looks expectantly at Ethan assuming he would know more. But it was me who called Ethan, which we disclose by just turning his head to me. “Waaaayne…”

…

“I see.” He responded after I explained the encounter. 

“If it’s alright with both of you, I would like to scout the area just in case there’s any more rogues” Ethan speaks out as I finish explaining everything.

“Yes, of course Ethan. Just be safe.” Ethan puffs some air before turning away.

Before he does however, he turns to me. He tilts my head down to place his forehead on mine. He keeps it there for but a second before dashing out. Silly.

“Our little alpha really has a liking to you, doesn’t he?” Dalmund asks.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” I ask back.

“You’ll find out when you're older.” He pets my head gently, much to my confusion. He gently touches the flower still tucked behind my ear. Honestly after everything that happened, I almost forgot it was still there. “Oh, Arlo finally gave you your flower back?”

Huh? Wait, was this the same flower Kane gave me a few years back? That’s… I probably should store this somewhere better when I get back.

Dalmund kneels in front of me cupping my face. He lifts my head slightly up. “I forgot to ask, but are you alright?” The question made me realize how tired I actually was. 

The whole thing has been a rush of emotions and energy that it seemed to have finally caught up to me. My knees bend as I fall to the floor, catching myself.

“Hey, take it easy now.” He comforts me as I feel his warmth surround me.

“I’m fine, you should be worrying about your son.” I say as I feel my energy slowly recovering thanks to his magic.

“As far as I’m concerned,you’re my son too.” He turns to look back at Arlo who’s lying there, but looking much better for wear than before. “You really care about my son, don’t you?”

“Of course-I mean…” I bark out without even thinking.

Dalmund laughs at my embarrassment. “It’s alright. I’m honored really, thankful even. I’m just glad my son has someone like you in his life.”

“I-” Do I really mean that much to him? “I should be the one that’s grateful. He means…alot to me.” But what exactly does he mean to me? “It makes me happy to even have him be in my eyes.” Is this a normal feeling? “...I-I think I love Arlo.”

..I think I love Arlo.

---

Note: HEY YA IM BACK (not really) BUT LIKE I MEANT TO POST THIS FOR PRIDE MONTH BUT COMPLETLY FORGOT and then i got busy with artfight…then i got busy traveling to a different country……..BUT IM HERE NOW! but now that i (finally) posted this i will say that i wont be posting any new chapters until i completely finish act 1 (which should be 4 more chapters) no promises on when but I WILL IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO. anyways hoped yall enjoyed this chapter see see you later lovelies <3

[kirensbird]

Close call

[kirensbird]

I JUST REMMEBERED I WAS GONNA POST THE NEXT CHAPTER FOR PRIDE MONTH BUT I FORGOT AGGGHHHHHH

ILL HAVE IT HAVE LATER IN THE DAY GURL ITS 3 AM RN

[kirensbird]

⚡️ caught 📸

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(More artworks on Patreon! 🌿)

[kirensbird]

don't look.

early access + nsfw on patreon

This piece is fanart from a scene in Chapter 5 of @stinglesswasp's fic "Seasons", where Johnny is there for Simon in one of his most vulnerable moments. If you haven't already, give this fic a read and drop a kudos/leave a nice comment if you enjoyed!

[kirensbird]

Ghost & back tattoos are CANON FOR ME OKAYY 🙂‍↕️

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(More artworks on Patreon ✨ thank you for supporting me 🫶🏽)

[kirensbird]

gift for a friend based off their space AU <3

[kirensbird]

The man's built like a fridge, but Soap will do anything to let him know he's there for him

(don’t) bite the hand that feeds

The second work for the COD Big Bang for the amazing story written by the wonderful @soaphawk !

[kirensbird]

Okay... I'll admit this got away from me but just... GOD I love them so much.

[kirensbird]

Retirement. prevoiulsy a patreon exclusive

[kirensbird]

YOOOO MB I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS ALREADY BUT I JUST SAVED IT TO DRAFT AGHHHHH anyways here yall go

ayup so as I did with wolfsong I took notes while reading ravensong. I LOVED the first half of the book. second half as much. STILL LOVED IT but like I didn't feel as emotional as I felt reading most if not all of wolfsong. anyways 10/10 loved it would erase my memory to read it again

Ravensong

"Like the earth. Like dirt leaves and rain—"

pg 2 - Why, why, why.

pg 6 - "Why can't you say it?" "There's nothing to say." "He loved you,"

pg 7 - "You left me first."

pg 8 - though I'd been a child and hadn't known what it meant.

Three Years

One Month

Twenty-Six Days

pg 17 - packpackpack

pg 22 - "It's like...the earth. Lime dirth and leaves and rain—"

pg 23 - "You don't need to protect me." "Yes, I do,"

pg 28 - Sometimes they were blue. But most times, they burned.

pg 30 - my first thought was Mark and Mark and Mark

pg 31 - god I would hate to be on Gorodo's place rn. these dumb fucking wolves I swear

pg 38 - Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran

pg 39 - I'm sorry

- I found the smell

pg 42 - AHHHH YOUNG MARK AND GORDO ARE SO CUTE

- Joe was lucky and extorvert puppy while Mark was a shy puppy

- I wondered if he didn't get enough pussy. I wondered what pussy was.

pg 43 - WTF IS HAPPENING LMAO

pg 44 - SOMEONE STOP THESE KIDS OMG LOL

pg 51 "Like an approaching storm."

pg 52 - omg Mark is a hopeless romantic lmao

pg 56 - NOOOOO he was gonna give him his wolf 🥺🥺

- HE GAVE HIM A RAVEN 😭😭😭

pg 59 - the cutiesss also Our Life traumatized me from my crush jumping through the window lmao

pg 67 - I got spoiled by this but this is gonna be the cutest shit ever when it happens

pg 69 - I fucking knew it he had a crush on Thomas

- He looked like a wolf

pg 71 - "it was candy canes and pinecones. It was epic and awesome."

pg 73 - Mark was midnight. Mark was sad. Mark was blue.

pg 81 - doggy cuddles :((

pg 83 - I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

pg 87 - He was my shadow

pg 89 - what's these fucking wolves and their age gaps

pg 90 - just boys being boys (I'm gonna cry)

pg 93 - you bitch

pg 101- YES CARTER PLEASE SHUT UP

pg 104 - ofc u waved at a blind person

pg 107 - this is the worst pack ever

pg 111 - OMG THEYRE LOTERALLY END GAME

pg 115 - But I had been running with wolves for going on three years, and I wasn't the man I used to be.

pg 120 - this is the worst coming out ever

pg 123 - WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE A FATHER (he is one BUT NOT MARKS LMAO)

pg 124 - I SWEAR MARK IF UR THE ONE WHO GAVE JOE THE IDEA TO GIVE OX THOSE DEAD ANIMALS IM GONNA—

pg 137 - why does his recurring memory have to be so sad why is it Mark injured and dying why couldn't have been like like Ox's :((

pg 142 - I hate this

pg 143 - I hate this

- "Choose me. Mark."

pg 145 - I allowed myself one last tear over Mark Bennett. But that was it.

pg 147 - One Year Later

- I think I'm gonna puke

ph 149 - technology was an enemy I had yet to destroy.

pg 150 - BRI'ISH

- I was forty years old, and I belonged to a pack of meddlesome bitches.

- we know u love them Gordo <3

pg 152 - OH GOD THEY SENSED ALL OF THAT

pg 154 - I wish I was Robbie rn lmao

ph 158 - IMMEDITALY OK GORDO LMAO

pg 159 - markmarkmark

- RICO U ARE NOT MUCH BETTER

pg 160 - for once I agree with u Jessie

- huhhuhhuh I think I hate this pack

- "I like learning things that will scar me for life." thanks carter

pg 161 - nice

pg 165 - AROMANTIC TANNER LETS GOOO

pg 166 - me too Carter

pg 183 - I decided not to murder them because it would be wrong but because it would have been a mess to deal with

- murder eyebrows :))

pg 185 - WTF JESSIE LMAO

pg 188 - omg it's another intervention

pg 190 - they're so fucking stupid I hate them (there is no but I'm going to murder them after gordo does)

pg 192 - "I'm not grumpier than normal. I'm always like this."

pg 194 - MARK TAKE THE HINT PLEASE

pg 195 - Hi Dale nice to meet you. You should probably run.

- always I kinda wanna see a threesome but don't tell nobody

pg 200 - "It's smoke and ash. But underneath, there's is still dirt and leaves and rain."

pg 215 - "You aren't as much of an asshole as you want everyone to think you are. It's...comforting." "Fuck off, Mark."

pg 230 - my old man yaoi 🥺🥺🥺

- Because I loved him too,

- I wanted to kill him. I wanted to fuck him. I wanted him to tear me apart.

pg 231 - "Gordo," he said, ever the wolf. "No," I said, the perfect prey.

- "But I swear I'm going to be your last." HELP IM CRYING THIS IS ACTUALLY PEAK WTF

pg 233 - mother knows best and she ain't even ur mother lmao

pg 234 - NO ELIZABETH U WERE SUPPOSE TO BE THE BETTER OF THE BENNETS 😭😭

pg 236 - TELL HIM SISTER LET NO MAN TELL U WHAT TO DO

pg 249 - RICO PLEASEE

- These ridiculous humans. How they had the heart of wolves.

pg 253 - I dreamed of ravens and wolves.

pg 263 - "The boy who ran with wolves."

pg 276 - "Rico didn't get me pregnant I swear." YOU BETTER NOT CAUSE I SWEAR ILL KILL U BOTH

pg 294 - hmmm man scent

pg 298 - oh god I hate this

pg 299 - NOOOOOOO 🥺🥺🥺

pg 301 - OX U CUCK

pg 303 - mmm yes very nice wall indeed Mark

pg 306 - we can smell ur horny Mark 🙁

pg 307 - WAIT IS THAT HE WHO I SHOULDNT KNOW OF YET

pg 310 - "You could have become the villian, Gordo. And it would have been within your rights. Instead you just chose to be an asshole."

- BITE ME???? CAN YALL STOP FLIRTIJG IM DYING OVER HERE

pg 312 - LETS FUCKING GO MARK

pg 313 - DALE U BASTARD U RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD THREESOME

pg 321 - fr this hurts too much go back to being an asshole

- Jessie???? 🏳️‍🌈?

pg 322 - Carter nooo lmao

pg 323 - Rico had us in the first half lmao

- also what's with Mark and these witches 🤨

pg 331 - "I think I liked it better when we hated each other." "I never hated you, Gordo."

pg 332 - MAKR PLEASE NOW IS NOT THAT TIME

pg 334 - god this is so cute. I can't wiat for borthersong

- OX TOO SOON OMG

pg 335 - NOT THEM PLAYING TUG OF WAR WITH CARTER LMAO

pg 344 - there was a boy and a wolf

pg 348 - I chose the wolf

pg 349 - hot

pg 350 - HOT

- Gordo gurl use ur words

pg 353 - OMG WTF IS HAPPENING

pg 354 - it feels like I'm reading smut wtf

pg 355 - YOO POWER BOTTOM GORDO

pg 361 - OLD MAN YAOI (I'm sorry but they did it first)

pg 367 - gordo might have a teeth kink

pg 390 - I CANT WITH THIS FOUND FAMILY SHIT BRUHHH

pg 392 - I love teasing Carter

pg 393 - NO DONT GIVE ME THAT SHIT AGAIN

pg 396 - "And I believed him. I believed them all."

pg 414 - ever since u lost ur hand gordo Iyouve changed. LIKE WHY ARE U TELLING JOKES NOW

pg 415 - PLEASE (that would be hot but like) NOT NOW

- who is jorking on my peen

pg 417 - "But it will become a part of you, and one day it'll be bearable."

pg 418 - JOE PLEASE

pg 421 - never change Rico never change

pg 422 - And the moon pulled

pg 423 - "Cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war."

pg 435 - "Look and see what happens to humans who run with wolves."

- kill her please

pg 440 - "Are you with me?" "Gordo."

pg 448 - gurl...

pg 452 - JESSIE PLRASEE I CNAT RIGHT NOW

pg 479 - I didn't understand straight people.

- REAL

pg 485 - "I'll be your hands." "And I'll be your sanity."

- that is such a cute line I love it

[kirensbird]

Martian sci-fi ghoap au, commission for @meatgh0st

[kirensbird]

WHY IS TTWD ALL OVER MY FYP ON TIKTOK STOP IM STILL NOT OVER THEM AND NOW I WANNA WRITE LEE X KENNY FICS AGGHHHH

[kirensbird]

TF U MEAN THAT UPDATE WAS MY 100TH POST LMAO

[kirensbird]

Little Update

I'm alive lmao

Besides that I'm about to getting back into writing soon (almost done working on a little animation) wanna get back to His Heart in My Hands, but I gotta a bunch of other stuff I wanna write (and a couple of characters blobs I wanna barf out.

On my reading I finished Ravensong a couple months ago (STILL NOT OVER IT AGHHHHHHH) and I'll be posting my brain notes on it. I'm also working on a playlist for it. Just wanna add a couple more songs to it. (tecnically public so u could check it out on my profile if u wanted to) I am gonna be taking a break on the Green Creek series (EVEN THOUGH I REEEAALLYY WANNA CONTINUE) cause I have like way too many books I haven't read yet and I haven't bought the next 2 yet lol. On that note...

I start Song of Achilles (IM ONLY ON CHAPTER 17 AND IM BEEN CRYING THIS WHOLE TIME) and I'm taking notes for this book as well (my friend asked me to but i was going to anyways lol)

A couple other books I plan on reading that I might write notes for are:

How to Howl at the Moon - Eli Easton

Reforged - Seth Haddon

One Night in Hartwood - Emma Denny

The Scottish Boy - Alex de Campi

Ok that's it on my ig not really little update but idc no promises yall will be fed this month (ill try to but idk lol)

[kirensbird]

Doodle of silco doing whatever this is because I have free will

[kirensbird]

They should kiss sometime