kirannxo

[kirannxo]

Hovering above my head there it lies,

am I not doing this right?

As I transmute from one posture to the next,

my lips utter words of praise;

but my heart remains motionless.

Falling to you; the closest a slave can be

my tears struggle to sink into the softness

of the mat below me, I fail to release.

am I not doing this right?

I find guilt congested within

but You meet it with Your Mercy.

- theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

He is a man who spent nights praying for us. Even in the Last Day when every soul will be for itself crying ‘Nafsi, Nafsi’ he ‎ﷺ will be saying 'Ummati, Ummati’. How can someone have such a beautiful form of love for ourselves without knowing us? A love we find so pure, so different, so unique like no other. Even before you were born he ‎ﷺ prayed nights, just for you. But do we ache to know about him ‎ﷺ ? Do we make the effort to just say a few words 'Allahumma sali 'ala Muhammad’ in which saying we receive many rewards and aid with our lives. How selfish are we, not to run towards easy blessings and rewards, but we run this world trying to seek it when it will never be sought. - theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

‘We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives...’ [2:155]

Allah has mentioned that He will test us with something of fear, and many of us have endured such events in our lives which may still affect us now whether we know it or not. Some of us fear and avoid certain places, people or events as a response to any trauma we endured in the past. But let’s put it into perspective, fear is a feeling. We cannot stop it from being there as it is a normal human response to frightening situations. However, we can learn to manage how we welcome it into our lives and how much of it we allow to occupy our time and mind. We decide where we channel that fear and how we respond to it. -theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

There’s so much we have been given yet did not ask for. Simple yet grand - without them we would not be here, functioning and breathing. It is all as He wills. Every moment He allows us to breathe is a Mercy, a great bounty which we should truly appreciate and wonder ... surely, there is Divine Wisdom behind why He has still allowed me to be here right now? So many people planned, and in the difficult circumstances we are in currently, many returned to Allah. So let’s extend our gratitude to Him - Our Lord, Exalted in Might, most Generous. -theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

In one of my reflections earlier this week, I thought about Allahs Name Al Karim. I was thinking in particular about my blessings, after writing them down as part of my daily routine I was consumed by this awe. This, immense gratitude ... for life, for every minute thing I have. I think one of the most important things when it comes to gratitude is to really connect to it with our hearts, rather than just our intellect and stating/writing it. It’s about feeling it, in its wholeness - in the ability Allah has granted our hearts to feel His Light, His Mercy and appreciation for His favours. -theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

When Du’as seem to be unaccepted, it’s easy to lose hope. Allah says in the Qur’an:

‘perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you’ [2:216].

Often we make Du’a based on personal desires. However, is what we want always what’s best for us? Just as unhealthy foods can bring pleasure to our tastebuds, does it necessarily mean they are good for us? Many people feel Allah did not Hear or accept their prayer - but this is a dangerous mindset to have as doubts can arise from this thinking. Allah always Hears, He is As-Sami’. He always accepts, but only as He sees best. His Will is more befitting as He knows what we need; we only know what we want. Be patient and align your intentions when asking from Him. - theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

نانى

I pray for your ranks to be raised

You were the most beautiful soul I’ve known.

Your children say I resemble you

but I only pray He grants me a tenth

of your beautiful, delicate, loving traits.

I wish to continue your legacy

to carry your softness within me

spreading a little of you everywhere I go.

-theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

As time goes on, I realise how much the state of my mind matters. The chatter increases, but I silence it. I spend a lot of time ignoring that which I need to address; this only worsens my condition. I feel my minds friction, the tension when it makes me a victim. When I succumb to the thoughts, when I struggle to pick myself from the floor. I circle around it trying not to look directly. But why do I fear when there is nothing greater than He? Why do I tell myself I am not brave enough to look it in the eyes when He, has given me the strength to do so. In the Qur’an Allah the Exalted says: ‘and do not throw yourselves into destruction’ [2:195]. Brushing what’s important for you to address in order to grow, is throwing yourself into destruction. So let us do right by Him, by doing good to ourselves. -theheartsfragments.

[kirannxo]

I know the thought of forgiveness feels heavy. You think you can’t forgive, and maybe they don’t deserve your forgiveness. Why should you forgive when they feel no remorse over it? Why should you forgive when they haven’t changed their ways? But how much does it still weigh you down, when you think about them? When you’re reminded of them or what they done to you. How hurt do you start to feel, how many tears do you cry, how angry do you feel? The truth is, when we struggle to forgive we are only chaining ourselves down and resisting the process of breaking free. I know, it’s not easy. But you deserve to be free. The more you hold on, the more power you give to them in your minds. They take up so much of your space, but you deserve to fill it with healing. - theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

Sometimes big parts of us are lost, or taken away from us at certain points in our lives or maybe when we were most vulnerable, as younger people. This could be a loss of safety, innocence, a loss of who you ‘were’ before. A loss of your freedom, or your happiness due to certain things and you haven’t seemed to get those things back yet. But the first step in getting those back and healing those parts of you, is to accept that it is no longer there, it was taken away - but it does not mean it is lost. Not to become lost in feeling sorry for yourself but to just, accept. Only then can you regrow. Only then can you restore what was archived. In a better state, knowing you are worthy of it. - theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

We sin daily. The most beautiful thing is that Allāh keeps it all concealed. How honoured and blessed are we that even though we turn away from Him, He calls us back with the doors of His Mercy and Forgiveness open. If others wrong us, we hold grudges so tightly that it begins to inflict internal wounds to the point we begin to bleed on others. We become mentally sick when we refuse to forgive, and we become spiritually sick when we stay away from Him. - theheartsfragments

“O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah . Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” {Qur’an 39:53}

[kirannxo]

When did we start pretending we were self sufficient and free of need?

- theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

“So many favours, how can I resist? How do I comprehend these blessings which exist? Though, my mind cannot turn away from the chaos that persists, which wraps itself tightly suffocating my peace; leaving me with no room to breathe. I am reminded, of the One who bestows. Of the One who is the Opener of all doors, of the One who sees me, when my body weakly brings me to the floor. I am reminded, that I am not alone. That everywhere I roam, He is with me.”- theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

You, are my Anchor.

When everything feels a little too fast, and the waves in my mind continuously crash. When my breathing is unstable and my throat is dry, when my heart feels drained from the little peace I had. When I pray in the night, complete darkness with no light in sight, my silence is followed by tears as I place my head to the ground, the closest position to You. I cry uncontrollably, because this weight on my chest is too heavy for one to lift. You, are my Anchor through it all. You, keep me grounded when I fall. When I place my hand on my heart with my eyes closed, reciting Your names, I no longer see darkness. You, are my Anchor.

- theheartsfragments

[kirannxo]

“If I was to see you again...”

- theheartsfragments || caption.

[kirannxo]

What do you want from this?

- theheartsfragments || caption.

[kirannxo]

The pains you know, I once knew too.

- theheartsfragments || caption.