kinkyrandyrascal

[kinkyrandyrascal]

One of my favorite timewasters.

😂😂😂

[kinkyrandyrascal]

Praise eloquence.

There's more to praising than just "Good girl":

"I wish you could see how pretty you look right now"

"You deserve this"

"I know you can do better than that. Come on, my love. There we go, good girl"

"I'Il always come back to you*

"You're taking me so well"

"Look at you, doing so well for me"

...

Feel free to add more ♡

[kinkyrandyrascal]

What they don’t ask for…but desire.

Little turn ons:

Forehead kisses

Neck kisses

Being held by the waist

Hugs from behind

Lingering in a hug after you let go

Having someone play with your hair

Holding eye contact during a conversation

Someone glancing at your lips

Running their fingertips down your spine

When they're excited about something

Being pushed against a wall and kissed

When they randomly message you cute stuff like a picture of the sky or the dog they saw on the tube

Seeing someone's face light up when they see you

Making them laugh

Seeing someone in their element

Feeling someone's smile while you kiss them

Feel free to add more ♡

[kinkyrandyrascal]

Definitely worth pondering.

I wish people would feel less badly for not liking the kink that doesn’t work for them. So much harm occurs because people feel they need something to work for them that just doesn’t. I can’t stress enough how little it matters to having a healthy and happy kink relationship whether you like any certain kink or not. Even super popular kink. Honestly it’s all the shit you won’t do that helps define you. If everyone was willing to do everything, what a boring and homogeneous lifestyle it would be. The most important person your kink should align to is yourself. (Not your partner) Just some things to think about while being a unique kinkster.

[kinkyrandyrascal]

HOW TO GIVE A PROSTATE MASSAGE

One of the best ways to make anal play exciting is by giving a prostate massage.

What is the Prostate Gland?

The prostate is a gland in the male reproductive system that produces a milky-like fluid that combines with sperm to form ejaculate.

The prostate can be stimulated through the rectum, and according to anal play lovers, leads to incredible, full-body orgasms.

Where is the Prostate Located?

The prostate gland is located roughly 3-4 inches (7.5-10cm) from the beginning of the anal canal, and it’s about 1 inch (2.5 cm) across.

The prostate gland is just behind and above the deepest portion of the penis, and it’s right below the bladder. The urethra (the tube running from the bladder and out the penis) runs right through the center of the prostate. The gland is located on the other side of the rectum (the last portion of the digestive system).

How to Massage the Prostate

Get your lubricant ready and lather up your finger. Remember to trim your nails, keep them clean and use some gloves if you prefer them for anal fun.

Now it’s time to get your partner turned on. Arousal makes the prostate begin to fill up and get larger, which makes it both easier to find and feel more pleasurable.

Prostate Massage Techniques

Once you’ve gotten your partner in the mood and you’ve found his prostate gland, there are a lot of different massage moves you can try. Many of these will sound similar to G-Spot massage techniques, for good reason. The prostate is the male G-Spot or P-Spot!

Try doing a “come hither” motion with your fingertip. Use the pad of the finger, not the tip, in order to avoid scratching. And remember – stroke, don’t poke! Keep a slow, steady rhythm and use firm pressure.

You might need to vary the temp and pressure until you find the right combination for him, so start off slower and lighter, and then add more. If you’re using two fingers, try the “come hither” motion at the same time, or try “finger walking.”

Another popular move is tapping. Start off with the pressure you use when typing on a keyboard and try going faster or slower. Each time you change things up, ask him to tell you if it feels better or not.

Everyone is a little different, so listen to feedback and watch how the body responds. If you have two fingers on the P-Spot, you can tap them together or alternate as if you’re playing the piano.

You can also do big circles across the entire prostate, little circles on just one spot, or do little circles and move them around. With circles, it’s easy to go too quickly, so try to keep a steady rhythm. Some people like to put on some music with a strong beat or bass line to help them keep the pace.

Don’t forget that stillness can be incredibly pleasurable too. Keep a constant pressure without movement, or try gently pulsing the pressure while maintaining contact. Sometimes, that can be someone’s favourite prostate massage move.

Just as when you’re giving someone a shoulder rub, it’s good to do one technique for a bit and then change it up. The nerves get used to it if you stick with one thing, so keep his body paying attention by varying what you do every so often. The one exception to that is when he’s getting close to an orgasm. When that happens, stick with whatever is working.

What does a Prostate Orgasm feel like?

Speaking of orgasm, you’ll know it’s about to start because you’ll feel his prostate swell and then quiver. That’s the gland squeezing the fluid into the urethra, where it mixes with the sperm that has been carried from the testicles. Once that happens, the muscles of the pelvis will start to contract and cause ejaculation. So once you feel that fluttering on your finger, keep going because there’s no holding back from that point.

While some men can enjoy prostate play and stimulation without anything else, many guys say that they enjoy penis pleasure at the same time or that they need it in order to have an orgasm. You might be able to use one hand on his penis while your other hand focuses on his P-Spot. If you have trouble coordinating that, he can use one of his hands on his penis while you give all of your attention to his prostate.

Erection Difficulties

One thing to note is that some men find that they don’t get as erect during anal penetration or prostate stimulation. Nobody knows for sure why it happens, but it doesn’t seem to get in the way of the pleasure. So don’t let it stop you – if he’s curling his toes and giving you all the other signs of enjoying himself, trust that.

https://www.bvibe.com/anal-play-101/prostate-massage/

[kinkyrandyrascal]

[kinkyrandyrascal]

Project 2025 - the right-wing plan to — among other measures — outlaw pornography and imprison its creators.

[kinkyrandyrascal]

Indulge your sexual curiosities.

[kinkyrandyrascal]

October…time for a little bloodletting.

[kinkyrandyrascal]

[kinkyrandyrascal]

[kinkyrandyrascal]

BDSM Links And Resources

I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

Websites:

Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.

Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.

DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.

Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.

Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.

Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.

Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.

The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.

Dating and Relationships:

10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)

Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)

Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)

How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)

Play:

Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)

Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)

Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)

Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)

Safety:

Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)

Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)

Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)

Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)

S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)

Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)

BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)

Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)

If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)

What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare:

Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)

Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)

Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)

Dominance and Dominants:

A Dominant is NOT… (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)

Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)

An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)

Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)

Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)

Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)

How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Submission and Submissives:

10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)

A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)

Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)

Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)

Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)

Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)

Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)

Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)

What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)

Books:

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer

Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison

Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs

Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel

Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel

Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel

Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon

SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

The Control Book by Peter Masters

The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino

This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters

Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

[kinkyrandyrascal]

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[kinkyrandyrascal]

Dominant, or Domineering?

I was scrolling back through my archives and I came across an ask from another blog where someone was inquiring about signs that a man was not a Dominant, but simply domineering. I think it’s a really important, and very interesting question, and so I thought I’d like to take a stab at answering. There are a lot of posts out there about how to spot a real Dominant, but so long as there are subs out there struggling to tell the difference I think there can’t be too many.

To be domineering is to assert your will over another person in an aggressive or arrogant way. To be a Dominant is to be a caregiver. Someone who thrives on leading by gaining the trust and devotion of someone who wishes to follow. It sounds simple to tell them apart on paper, but reality isn’t always that black and white, and some people talk a really good game, so how can you tell the difference?

A domineering man will only make his rules all about his pleasure. They may read as a list of fetishes. He’s concerned about how often you shave your cunt, but not how often you see the doctor. A Dominant man will make rules for his pleasure, and your betterment. He cares about which panties you wear, but also how much sleep you get each night. He encourages you to have goals and helps you accomplish them through his rules.

A domineering man will not go out of his way to let you know that you are loved and cherished. His praise comes in the form of “you’re so hot when you do that”, and  “I love when you gag on me”. A Dominant man will make sure you know he respects you as a person and supports your accomplishments. “I’m so proud of you for interviewing for the promotion at work”, and “I appreciate that you tried, I know that was hard for you”.

A domineering man will not want to explain his decisions, or discuss his reasoning. He may become angry when you question him, and tell you that it’s not your place. A Dominant man is open to meta-talks. He will not allow you to question every tiny decision, but it’s important to him to address your concerns. He’s not afraid to share his thinking because he has your best interest at heart.

A domineering man doesn’t show interest in making decision that don’t affect him. He’ll choose your panties, but doesn’t really care when you ask him what you should do about that friend who is feeling neglected.  A Dominant man wants to help calm your mind, and is happy to help you make even mundane decisions. He has no problem choosing where to eat tonight, or telling you if you should accept the invite to that party.

A domineering man will be concentrated on making you the ‘perfect sub’. He may be overly concerned with your ability to deep throat and unreasonably strict with your diet and exercise program. A Dominant man accept and loves the person you are, and wants to help you meet your goals. He helps you with your diet because he wants for you to be healthy, not skinny, or because YOU expressed a desire for change.

A domineering man will limit your contact with others, especially others in the BDSM community. He’s scared you’ll find out that there’s more out there than what he’s offering. He’s jealous, and resents the time you spend with friends and family. A Dominant man know he can not be your everything and encourages you to learn. He recognizes the value of other relationship and only limits them when there are red flags, or past problems. He encourages you to learn and grow in your understanding of D/s relationships.

A domineering man demands. He raises his voice, doesn’t say please, and doesn’t thank you for the things you do. A Dominant man leads by making you want to follow. He knows that trust is earned and isn’t put off by the effort.

A domineering man gives his time only when it is convenient for him to do so. Domineering man isn’t concerned with calming you before a medical procedure or exam. He cancels plans with you when something better to do comes up. A Dominant man makes you a priority. He sets aside his plans to care for you when you are in need. That doesn’t mean he drops everything because you want company, but when you’re genuinely having a hard time you don’t have to question if he’ll be there for you.

Do all domineering men do all of the things I stated? No, it’s not that simple, but they’re good reference points. It’s about intent. A domineering man is out to fulfill his own desires, and a Dominant man gains his pleasure from successfully providing for the needs and desires of both parties. Will Dominant men sometimes say the things domineering men do? Yes! But domineering men will not also behave as Dominant men do, because Dominant men have broader goals. A Dominant man will but his desires above yours, but he will never put his desires above your needs.

[kinkyrandyrascal]