kimberlycee

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

Monday, 10 Jun 2024 11:43 PM

I am starting this journal in order to get my thoughts in order as well as my feelings.

I can't seem to make a desision and stick with it. I know what I deserve. I know I should listen to my intuition and not anything else. I feel like

I am contaminated with Logan's energy. I am not sure what's his energy and what's mine anymore. I can't seem to separate myself from him. He angers me and I hate him with a passion. I feel disgust when I see that he has no respect for me or my feelings. He has no remorse for the the things he does and says to me. Something is wrong with him. I don't know if he is a full blown narcissist or is he just mentally ill. I don't believe he is capable of actual love. I think there is a blockage. I think he is capable of being attached. But not actual love and respect. He sees no wrong in what he does or says. He will leave and be gone for a long amount of time and the plan will change and he doesn't think about messaging me and.letting me know and doesn't understand why I'm mad. Then he doesn't want to deal with the consequences of my anger. He wants me to shut up. I'm not allowed to have an opinion, I'm not supposed to express anger or pain. He doesn't want to deal with it. He doesn't want to hear my feelings. I am just supposed to deal with his bullshit and be quiet. That is what he told me. When he is yelling and screaming or in a mood...being abusive I'm not supposed to react

So basically, I'm supposed to be less than human and be his horse he can kick. I'm not supposed to fight back or call him names back in anger. He can be disrespectful and abusive and I'm supposed to allow it and keep my mouth shut. Is he narcissist or just plain sick in the head? Now I see why Stephanie couldn't do it anymore. I see what she went through even though she had issues as well. I can only imagine that he verbally lashed out at her as well. What did I fight for? I wish he would have gotten back with her. Why was I so hell bent on keeping someone who is not capable of understanding how to respect another person? He talks about women like they are beneath him. Where did he get this? He literally fought with his mother before she died and I wonder what it was about. I mean, if he can argue with his mom when she is so sick and about to die what kind of a man is he? He will never truly love me. He isn't able. He doesn't know or care about somebody else's feelings based on what he does. I don't even know if he even acknowledges that he does anything wrong. We can't communicate whatsoever when I try to explain how he makes me feel or tell him the things he does to me hurts me he refuses to admit he's done anything and then turns the tables around and tries to put blame on me. He finds nothing wrong with verbal abuse. He finds nothing wrong with calling me a stupid bitch, whore, cunt, old wrinkled hag, saggy, fat ..ugly. He wants me to just be quiet and not react. I've told him that I am eventually going to hate his guts and I will leave. My body will not allow him to touch me. My body will shut down and not want to be touched by him. It happened before and I am sure it's coming soon with him. I feel it already starting . I used to be so ready to give him sex anytime he wanted and now I feel like I am doing it and not wanting to.

The last few times I have not wanted to and haven't enjoyed it. I'm starting to just feel resentment . I need to make a final decision and stick to it. I need to just leave his ass and not worry about what's going to happen to him when I'm not here. I shouldn't have to sacrifice my mental health and life because he can't treat someone with love and respect . I hate the fact that he has a needy, little boy personality that shows love and affection towards me. He does things for me and cooks for me and can be sweet. Who is that guy? Then he can switch into the asshole that doesn't give a shit about what I feel. That's what keeps me hanging on. I will miss one of his personalities. I don't understand if he has borderline personality disorder...or what his issue is.

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

she taught me how to manifest. I lobe her

[kimberlycee]

Million Dollar Spaghetti Casserole 😋😋

Ingredients :

1 lb of ground beef

1 jar of spaghetti sauce

8 oz of cream cheese

¼ cup sour cream

½ lb cottage cheese (equals 1 cup)

½ cup butter (1 stick)

1 pkg spaghetti 16 oz

Grated cheddar cheese

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 350°. Boil your spaghetti noodles until al dente (firm). Drain and set aside until ready to assemble.

Combine the cream cheese, sour cream and cottage cheese until well blended.

Brown your hamburger and when done, drain well. Combine the hamburger with your spaghetti sauce.

Put a few slices of butter into a 9×13 pan then pour half of your spaghetti noodles on top.

Take your cream cheese mixture and pour on top of the noodles. Spread well over noodles.

Pour the rest of the noodles on top of the cream cheese mixture. Put a few more slices of butter on top of the noodles.

Pour your spaghetti and meat sauce on top of your noodles.

Now it is ready to put into the oven for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, pour the desired amount of grated cheese on top and return to the oven for 15 minutes to allow cheese to melt.

Enjoy ❤

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

[kimberlycee]

#hellokitty

[kimberlycee]

GUYS I JUST FIGURED OUT INTENTION. LIKE ACTUALLY.

Every time I've tried to set intention, it's always been a "failure." It's super annoying, but I was like "what am I doing wrong?

I KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WRONG.

Every time I've tried to shift, it's always been without actual intention. I was repeating words, but not their meanings.

What is shifting to you?

It doesn't matter why your shifting, but the emotions and thought process does. When you wake up in your DR, what will you feel? Not physically, but emotionally.

THAT IS WHAT GIVES YOUR INTENTION, YOUR WILL TO SHIFT. THAT ALONE CAN, AND WILL SHIFT YOU.

To set intention, you feel the weight of your words. Ask yourself, what do you emotionally feel about shifting? That emotion you feel, right now, in that universe, is enough to shift you. When you lay down, and close your eyes, no matter the method, when you shift, you have to think about the emotional impact you'll have waking up on your DR bed or area. Think about the feeling of your environment. How happy you'll be to feel that one thing there. And once you feel that happiness, that excitement, affirm. "I am shifting." Or, if it pleases you, say "i have already shifted." And you wanna know why that shifts you? Because your emotions are your intentions.

THIS CAN BE SAID ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING. TO MY CLUELESS INTENTION SHIFTERS/MANIFESTORS/LOA, KNOW YOUR INTENTION IS JUST YOUR EMOTIONS PUT INTO PRESENT TENSE.

[kimberlycee]

what i've learned about manifesting

everything is literally so easy to manifest. you don't need to put in any extra effort or affirm extra for "big" desires.

creation is done therefore you won't need to wait.

manifestations are instant if you assume they are.

you decide when your desire is here and how long you have to wait. you can decide it is here and now and you don't need to wait at all.

you only need internal validation (your mind and imagination). stop seeking validation from the 3D and look within.

persist no matter what. do not give up on your manifestations because you see something that opposes what you're trying to manifest. your future self will be grateful for you persisting!

do not label your manifestations as big or small. manifesting a penny is as easy as manifesting a million.

you are doing everything right. do not doubt the process at all or think you're doing it wrong.

i've only been at loa for a bit now but i'm already learning so much! i used to have so many limiting beliefs about how long it would take for me to get my materialized manifestations, but now i know that creation is done, so why should i wait? your limiting beliefs are FALSE, don't listen to them.