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bald armpit is exactly like bald pussy its profoundly unchic

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my bronze age buddy is always trying to talk me into killing rival shepherds with a bronze knife. it doesn't work like that anymore dude

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not to glorify the early years tumblr hellscape but this site was infinitely better when you could block anon hate and then immediately find out who was sending it by checking your blocklist and i for one propose that we bring that back. no rights for cowards.

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I don’t care if you make fun of Catholicism as long as it’s accurate! The best humour has its roots in the truth.

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reading non-fiction will have you standing up and giving ted talks to your furniture

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ITS JUST ME AND THE DYKES IN MY PHONE. FOREVER

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Most common mistakes when shaving your pubic hair!

Number 1: shaving your pubic hair

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dont kill yourself, think about how many weird showers you still have to take

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i love characters who are always like fear not, i shall take care of this problem for you….. by sacrificing myself!! and everyone else is like i swear to god if you pull this shit again i’ll kill you

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"have you tried cooking it low and slow" is the recipe troubleshooting equivalent of "have you turned it off and back on again"

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Americans giving Australians shit for calling a minor traffic accident a "prang" or a "bingle" as though "fender bender" is not the goofiest possible thing to call two cars crashing into each other. Like, at least the Aussie version doesn't rhyme!

[killjoy]

at this point, being a functional person is my sexual fantasy

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(X) (X)

ETA a new option:

(From a source I will not link.)