khloes-thoughts

[khloes-thoughts]

Is it worth it if it’s just for a moment?

Love...

What is Love? Is it a hand quivering, sweat inducing, and heart racing feeling?

Who is love? Is it your best friend? Is it your most intimate partner?

How does one love? Is it the undeniable trust in someone? Is it a warmth that one can attach themselves to?

When is the best time to love? Is it chasing around that cute boy on the play ground at 5 years of age? Is it asking the girl of your dreams to prom at 15? Or is it even asking that girl in your office to coffee at 25?

Why do we love? Is it to complete that ever mentioned “second half”? Do we use it to distract ourselves from the realities of everyday life?

Love...

Over the passed few days I have listened to this one episode of my favorite podcast, I’m Sorry Dad. Before I even speak about that, I just wanted to talk about out it’s focal topic. Love. What’s crazy is that everyday we experience little bouts of love in its many different forms. Your mom kissing you goodbye while you leave for school, your dearest friend bringing you a little treat because they know you’ve had a rough time, your teacher pulling you aside to tell you just how great of a job you’re doing, or you just looking in the mirror and realizing just how amazing you truly are. These are all such great parts about being human and experiencing such care from the people around us. This is what I like to call the “easy” love. It’s the love that we experience every single day. But, this isn’t the love that I want to talk about. You see, there’s the “hard” kind of love. The kind that isn’t always built into your life like the aforementioned situations. This love is tricky. Because it can catch you way off guard, or it can be fully expected. In the episode “9 Minutes” from the I’m Sorry podcast, Brandon Calvillo describes that unexpected kind of love. Which, in my opinion, is one of the hardest kinds due to the fact that it can hit you when it’s too late. In his case, as he so beautifully and vulnerably explained, it was a case where it was too late. That for the last 9 Minutes of his interaction with this woman, that’s when he truly realized that he was in love with her, and when she in returned had the same realization. I can’t do him justice of really reciting how he put it, because his description was almost cinematic, but I’ll do my best to. you see, these two were not exclusive. It was more of a friends with benefits kind of situation. It wasn’t until this woman tells Brandon that she wants to pursue someone else seriously that he actually starts to get this rushing feeling that he cannot really explain. It’s so crazy. I cannot speak for him, but I can only imagine that he must have unconsciously went through a their moments together in a flash to realize that moments like those would never happen again. That this one night would be their last night truly together, and to hear Brandon’s voice crack as he tells this story broke my heart for him. Truly. It’s funny because they both decided to make love one last time and the only way that Brandon could describe it was that “It was overwhelmingly emotional. It was like it was pitch black and I was just feeling... We were just making love. That’s what it felt like.” Typing it out doesn’t give much justice to joy he had in his voice when he said this. Because though they were physically intimate before, it had never been making love. I fell like people don’t realize the difference. No, I know tons of people don’t know the difference. Because they’ll use the phrase “I made love last night” when it was just a hook up. Now, I do not have much experience with love, let alone physical intimacy on that level, but if you truly love someone, I would imagine that it’s more than just an two people trying to gain an orgasm. It’s more than just fucking for pleasure. I would think that making love would be an emotional connection. I truly feel that Brandon experienced this, and that when he said it was his first time experiencing that kind of intimacy I truly felt that. His tone of voice was just too powerful for it not to be real you know. It didn’t seem like he was trying to convince himself that it’s how it happened. He knew it happened. And though he speaks so much about that night, what really took out to me was the ( Minutes when they waited for her Uber to get there. In those 9 minutes they were able to connect on such a wave length that they were really able to experience true love in it’s entirety in that short bout of time. That raised a question in my head. Is 9 minutes worth it? Were the months of long nights, and cuddles, and kisses, and hang outs worth those 9 minutes? Would it be worth it for me? Yes. I say this because I am a firm believer of the cliche that feeling something is worth it. Even it’s just for a moment. Whether it’s anger, sadness, happiness, and especially love. Because we will love, and love, and love again. I know it was worth it for Brandon, and I would love to know if it would be worth it for you.

“Whether or not I was ‘In Love’, I experienced it. For at least 10 seconds”

-Brandon Calvillo, 9 Minutes, I’m Sorry Dad

[khloes-thoughts]

Tonight

Alright, for the four or five people who actually care(lol) Tonight I will finally put out my post about 9 Minutes by Brandon. Now, I’m not going to analyze the podcast episode itself, but I am going to really delve into the topic of Love and how even for the smallest moment, it can be gained and worth it.

[khloes-thoughts]

Upcoming post!

Just an update to let you guys know that I will be giving my thoughts and opinions on an episode of Brandon Calvillos podcast “I’m Sorry Dad”

It’ll be on the episode titled “9 Minutes”

“I’m Sorry Dad” is a great podcast already, so you should all go listen to it. This is just one of the few episodes that I just really connected with.

You can find it on iTunes and Spotify if you just search “I’m Sorry Dad” if you want to get caught up on that and any other episodes.

[khloes-thoughts]

First Date

Around this time last year Brandon Calvillo acted in, wrote and produced a short film called First Date. This film has almost two story lines in a way, and in this blog i would really like to talk about the relationship between the protagonist(Calvillo’s character), and his date, specifically the time before they meet their antagonist.In the first two minutes you see a couple leaving a bar having a conversation about how good or in this case, not good it was to go there for a first date. I just want to start off by saying that the state of the conversation made me feel like the two were truly clicking. They felt comfortable to a point that they could poke jabs at each other as if they have known one another for years. Calvillio did an amazing job of showing a first date dynamic on screen that is different from the typical “Hey tell me all the generic stuff about you” kind of date. For example, when, for the sake of simplicity I’ll call her Eva, asked Calvillo’s character if he liked dogs. She, of course, knew hers was Labradoodle(cs), but he responds by saying that he really is more of a cat person. This is of course jokingly, but I feel that in most first date settings, your dad would just nod and give some half assed “Oh, well that’s cool. What’s your favorite cat?” Not in this case. You see, when you really like someone you aren’t afraid to tease them, even if it’s only just date one. So the fact that she stopped in her tracks and vocally expressed her distain for that kind of outrageous response make me smile. I could tell that these two were going to hit it off. Even his choice of music for that scene really set the tone of their interaction. I’m going to admit, it was a little cheesy, but the song was very French in nature. I don’t know the name, but it was a very light and optimistic tune that sounded similar to the song from the spaghetti scene in Lady in the Tramp. The music is really soft in the beginning of he scene when the characters are still kind of getting a feel for one another. But as they start to get more comfortable, it feels as if the music expands with how strong their connection gets. It was almost an illusion of a louder sounding melody. As a music major, I really love to focus on how it sets the tone for any kind of film or play. And in this case it really rounded out the scene, and it’s abrupt stop at the antagonist’s “Hey you!” really set up the kind of mood that we would be entering for the next scene. I’ll talk more about it later this week, but that silence let us as an audience really know that the really sweet first date had come to an end.

I know this may seem all over the place, given I’ve never written a true review of a film before, BUT I love the way Calvillo started his film with such a light heartedly sarcastic couple having such a great time. Any responses or criticisms are totally welcome because I would love to learn how to do this better. I also want to get a conversation started, and though this post may not be a good starter, I still linked the video below because it is very much worth a watch and I would love to hear your thoughts on that first two and a half minutes of the film.

Peace, Love, and Sweet Dreams,

Khloe Celestin(8/21/18 11:00pm)

Link to film: https://youtu.be/ywmFf3hrgZs