khalilul

[khalilul]

“I don’t want you to save me. I want you to stand by my side as I save myself.”

— Unknown

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Its okay to find love in hobbies instead of in a romantical relationship, its okay to find love in community, helping people, yourself, friends or family instead of in a significant other. All these kinds of love are valid and don't make you any less of a person, even if you're not in a relationship at the moment. Your value of being lovable doesn't rely on you having a romantical relationship, you are always loveable.

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sometimes i sit and i am like why am i so tired and then i remember everything this body has been put through and i realise.

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cherishing the things that bring you peace is so important. doodling ugly creatures. listening to brown noise. rereading the same books. rediscovering hymns and religious texts from your childhood. doing your makeup just to erase it. not everything has to have a deeper meaning or purpose, and not everything you do has to be for a more complex reason than how it makes you feel in the moment.

[khalilul]

[khalilul]

It’s crazy how low self-worth fucks with peoples lives

[khalilul]

It is a blessing. It is waking from a long slumber and taking that first sip of water. It is relief in the palm of your hand; sweet as a sugar cube, fiery as a ghost pepper. It is burning in all the right ways.

And reflecting back on what once was isn't a negative thing either. You can still be grateful for who you are now and understand who and why you were the way you were back then.

Every experience, every breath is just another page unfolding in your story.

[khalilul]

Ramadan FAQ

Ramadan is from an estimated April 2 - May 2 this year, and since most of my following is non-Muslim, so…I put this together (because I’m always excited about Ramadan xD) As always, my inbox is open to questions or clarity!

What is Ramadan?

A month of fasting! It’s the ninth month in the Islamic (lunar) calendar, and is a time of worship and growing closer to Allah. Fasting, known as sawm, is one of the five pillars of Islam, and for everyone who is able to and is of age*, it is obligatory to fast all days.

*This means anyone who’s hit puberty and older!

What’s the significance?

Ramadan is the month that all of the scriptures in Islam are said to have been passed down to the prophets (peace be upon them). This includes the Scrolls of Abraham, the Tawrah (Torah), Zabur (Psalms), Injil (Gospel), and the Qur’an (which is the book Muslims follow today).

In this month, it is said that Shaytaan (Satan) is chained away for the entire month. This is said to signify that Shaytaan can’t push people in committing sin. It is also said that the gates of Heaven are opened, and the gates of hell are barred. 

Do you fast continuously for one month?

No, the fast starts at dawn (with the Fajr prayer) and ends at sunset (with the Maghrib prayer). Depending on where you are, this can go from anywhere between 11-22 hours of fasting (there’s various views here about the 22 hour fast, but for the sake of simplicity, I’m not elaborating). 

Can you eat or drink anything during the day?

Nope! You eat sehri, the morning meal (also known as suhoor), before dawn, and then nothing until iftar at sunset, when you can break your fast with dates and water.

Not even water?!

No, not even water xD

What’s the point? What do y’all do?

Ramadan is used by Muslims to grow closer to Allah, to strengthen their relationship with Islam. The barakat (blessings) and sawab (spiritual rewards) of this month are triple that of any other month, so we dedicate our time to prayers, reading the Qur’an, giving charity. We also dedicate time to breaking harmful habits, like smoking and drinking. Ramadan also helps Muslims realize compassion for those who have food insecurities, and cannot access a full meal. We’re encouraged to give as much as possible during this month.

In Ramadan, there are special prayers that most pray in a congregation, called Taraweeh. It is not a compulsory prayer, but it has a lot of reward so most people pray it.

Why aren’t the women fasting?

People who menstruate are excused from fasting during their period, just as they’re excused from prayer. This is because periods are physically taxing, and require a large amount of hydration and nutrition, and because they are already a source of discomfort. It is not because periods are “impure” (because they aren’t! That is a cultural misconception.) These missed fasts are to be made up at any time before next Ramadan. Most people do it during winter months, because the fasts are shorter then!

While menstruation means no prayer or fasting, it doesn’t stop other acts, so many people double down on using prayer beads, listening to Islamic lectures/recitations or other acts of worship on the days they can’t fast.

Are there any other reasons people won’t be fasting?

Yup! People who are elderly, pregnant*, breastfeeding, ill, diabetic (hence can’t go without food for that long), or travelling are excused from fasting. Out of these, travelling will require fasts to be made up. Additionally, some chronically ill people decide to continue fasting, but this is not mandatory, nor recommended! If fasting is hazardous to your health, you’re exempt.

*There’s some debate about whether to fast in pregnancy, as some do, but generally, fasting can negatively impact the unborn baby, and increase birth complications, especially during later stages. Most are recommended to follow the exemption and not fast!

(Also, if someone says they’re not fasting, it’s basic manners not to ask them why not.)

Why don’t you guys ever know when it starts?

Because the Islamic calendar is a lunar calendar. It goes by the phases of the moon, and only when the crescent is observed do the months start and end. There are a lot of ways to observe it now, but some places just go by what Makkah, Saudi Arabia declares, or what the surrounding countries/states say.

Are specific days better than others?

Some days are said to have greater reward because they’re the days one of the aforementioned scriptures were passed down. Fridays are always holy in Islam, but more so in Ramadan. The last 10 days are also of great importance, because it’s said that Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) received his first revelation of the Qu’ran (Surah Al-Alaq!) during one of the odd-number nights — 21, 23, 25, 27, or 29. That night is known as Laylat-ul-Qadar (Night of Destiny), but no one knows the actual date.

When does it end?

On the first of Shawwal, which is the next month! When the crescent is spotted again, it marks the end of Ramadan, and the start of the festival of Eid-ul-Fitr. If the moon is not sighted, most people take a default thirty days for Ramadan, and that makes the end of the month.

Are there any specific traditions?

Everybody is different! My family loves making at least one fresh dish for iftar. We also fill trays with food to give to the masjids (mosques) because many people break their fasts at the mosque itself. It’s almost like a huge potluck every night, which is great for people who can’t afford a meal, because they won’t have to go hungry at the end of a long day of fasting. Sheikh Zayed Mosque in Abu Dhabi feeds 20,000-30,000 people a night, without question of who they are or where they’re from.

I personally set a few goals during Ramadan for myself, including finishing the whole Qur’an during Ramadan, spending time with my family, giving more charity and learning more about Islam. Everyone’s goals are different, and some don’t have any, which is completely okay! There’s no “right” way to do it.

What can non-Muslims do to support Muslims during this month?

Keeping an open mind is the biggest thing, I think. I remember that I used to get a lot of “but that’s so cruel!” comments in school because eating or drinking wasn’t allowed, and then made fun of because I’d take ten minutes from class to offer prayers. “You must lose a lot of weight” was also another really, really annoying one, and also…“not even water” asked every single year endlessly (we get it, but please stop asking).

Most people don’t care if you eat in front of them but be respectful of them fasting and don’t be obnoxious about your own food. Don’t come up with plans that are physically taxing, and try to look out for your Muslims friends. Don’t point out if someone who’s fasting has bad breath because that’s what you get from not eating or drinking all day. Try to be understanding if your Muslim friends can’t schedule things at certain times, or if they don’t want to participate in something because it goes against something they’re trying to accomplish. 

If you work with Muslims who will be fasting, just know that it can be very physically taxing, especially if you work a job where you’re on your feet a lot. Try to accommodate that. Also, if an employee requests different hours, it’s usually so we can go home and open our fast with our families.

This is honestly a very small guide to Ramadan. There are countless other things that could be included in this list, but I hope this is a start! May Allah accept all our fasts, our prayers and may He make the month easy for us, and especially for our community in tragedy-stricken places, Ameen!

Ramadan Mubarak! <3

[khalilul]

I promise you that this heartbreak you think you’ll never recover from will be a distant memory one day. I promise that you’ll look back on it with a new perspective and lessons learned instead of guilt or pain.

[khalilul]

Yes, you're supposed to venture outside your comfort zone - but you're not supposed to give it up. You are allowed to return to it to rest and recharge as needed. Comfort is an integral part of growing and healing, not something you're ever supposed to stop letting yourself experience

[khalilul]

I have experienced more grief in the past two years than I have in my entire life. My uncle, great nanny, and today, my granny. Loss of friendships and stable relationships. Losing myself, at that. I am a plethora of emotions impossible to contain at this point.

I��m going to flood every bit of this hurt into art today. Allow myself to feel and grieve how I need to.

I am tired, friends, I am so tired.

[khalilul]

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thinking about taylor writing "'til we were dead and gone and buried check the pulse and come back swearing it's the same" about her first big, horrible breakup and now taylor writing "i can’t find a pulse my heart won’t start anymore for you" about the breakup of her longest, strongest relationship

[khalilul]

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At my absolute lowest I would tell myself “I do not l like who I am, but I love who I’m becoming”

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