key-smasher
key-smasher
whatever the fuck
48K posts
The Dumpster For Your Fandom Garbage • he/him • fruity • wily • still afraid of herobrine • have a good time or something idk
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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so the tiktok ban was literally just propaganda for the trump administration. like. we all agree with that right. this is just laughably transparent. the ban wasn't even 24 hours. not even a whole day. to quote my infinitely funnier mutual from Discord, "Misha Collins was bisexual longer than TikTok was banned"
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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Werewolf boyfriend
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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not many people know about “goldilocks code” from the 80s where queer men would have hot porridge in their left pocket if they were a papa bear and cold porridge in their right pocket if they were a mama bear
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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The Blue Man of the Minch
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!! AHH AHHHHHH !!!!!!! AAAAAAAHHHH !!!!!! AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAAHHHHH !! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!! AHHH !! AHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH !!!!! AAAAAAH !!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!! !! AHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! AAAAAHHHH AAAAAAAAHHHHH AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH !!!
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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(to the tune of mary had a little lamb): mary had a little lamb
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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The Thing (1982)
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key-smasher · 13 days ago
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Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter
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key-smasher · 1 month ago
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key-smasher · 1 month ago
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Waiting for his turn
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key-smasher · 1 month ago
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key-smasher · 2 months ago
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If scientists can make a plastic eating bacteria, why can't they make an asphalt eating one as well??
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key-smasher · 2 months ago
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i’m starting a collection
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key-smasher · 2 months ago
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My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.
We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.
We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.
We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.
We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.
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key-smasher · 2 months ago
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are all animals dangerous?
every animal has the potential to be dangerous under certain circumstances. for instance, a dog could bite you, a moth could distract a UPS driver into plowing through your living room window, you could inhale and choke on an earthworm.
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key-smasher · 2 months ago
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phree pheers phor phweet phrevenge
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